Halloween
Halloween proved to be a welcome distraction from daily Hogwarts life. The first Hogsmeade trip of the year was on Halloween, so Lily found herself being awoken at an ungodly hour by an overexcited Marlene McKinnon.
“Wake up, Red. Birds are chirping, children are screaming, the apocalypse is coming......”
“What the genuine fuck, Marly. That’s just creepy. I don’t care if the apocalypse is coming, it can wait for me to get five more goddamn minutes of sleep.” Lily rolled over to face away from Marlene.
“Please get up. I want to be there early so we can get a good booth at the Three Broomsticks,” Marlene continued, shaking Lily slightly.
“Go bring your plague elsewhere,” Lily mumbled in reply, pulling the covers over her head.
“Did she just call you a plague?” Alice asked as she exited the bathroom.
“Rude,” Marlene huffed. “And here I was, being considerate, trying to make sure we had a place to sit later-“
“Shut up you heathens, it’s like 6:30,” Dorcas grumbled from where she also remained in bed.
“Sorry Cas, we’ll keep it down,” Marlene answered.
“Why does she get an apology?” Lily pulled the covers down and glared. Marlene shrugged.
“She’s not as annoying.”
“Bitch fight me,” Lily cried, lunging for Marlene, who danced backwards to escape the red headed ball of wrath.
“Fight me in Hogsmeade, Evans,” she replied, snickering as Lily’s legs got caught in the covers.
About 45 minutes later, and a lot of effort to get Dorcas out of bed, the girls began the walk to the wizarding village.
“Ok, where are we headed first?” Alice asked. “I’m meeting Frank in Honeyduke’s at three, but that’s all I gotta do.”
“If we go to Zonko’s first I promise I’ll be quick,” Marlene pleaded, using her best puppy eyes on the group. It gained a mixed reaction. Dorcas, as usual, couldn’t even try to resist them, so she caved immediately. Alice was harder to persuade, but she eventually fell victim to Marlene’s well-practiced pout. Lily, however, was not convinced.
“I’m a prefect. I know what you’re going to do with anything you buy in there, I shouldn’t allow it,” Lily complained as they walked.
“Well it’s not like you can stop her,” Dorcas answered.
“Mum can,” Lily said, turning to Alice.
“Oh no,” Alice chuckled. “Last time I banned Marlene from Zonko’s, she sold my candy stash to first years. I’m not getting involved.”
“Smart move, mum,” Marlene said as they reached the famous joke shop. Lily just rolled her eyes, muttering something that sounded like ‘coward’ under her breath.
True to her word, Marlene spent little time in the shop, buying everything she wanted fairly quickly. Lily was very concerned when she saw the gleam in her friend’s eye as she appraised some of the merchandise. Marlene ended up toting a rather large bag out of the shop, which Lily made a mental note to look through later.
“Where to next?” Lily asked.
“Can we go to Dervish and Banges? I need some new quills and stuff,” Dorcas responded.
“Sure. Let’s go.”
A little more time was spent in the supply shop, but not nearly as much time as Marlene spent in Quality Quidditch Supplies.
“Lily, look! That’s a new beater’s bat! It’s so pretty. Look, it says it’s designed to improve accuracy-“
“I see it, Marls.”
“Mum! Mum, look. Look at that playbook, Potter would love that. Practical Uses of Astonishing Maneuvers in Modern Quidditch-“
“Yes dear, I see it.”
“Oh my God.” Marlene stopped dead in the aisle, causing Dorcas and Lily to crash into her from behind.
“What?” Dorcas asked, standing on her toes to see over Marlene’s shoulder.
“It’s a Nimbus 1700,” Marlene whispered reverently.
“Is that a big deal?” Lily asked, confused.
“A huge deal. Nimbus 1700’s are the best in the market. Improved speeds, maneuverability, a built-in quick-brake system, it’s the choice broom for national players,” Dorcas answered. Marlene turned around, and both she and Lily gave Dorcas a strange look.
“What?” Dorcas asked, slightly self-conscious.
“How on earth did you know all that?” Lily responded, astonished.
“She went on a huge rant about it a few days ago.” Dorcas gestured to Marlene.
“You remember that? I didn’t think any of you were listening,” Marlene said, turning her attention fully to Dorcas rather than the broom of her dreams.
“Well, yeah,” Dorcas smiled. “I generally listen when you talk, Marls.”
“Oh,” Marlene said. Lily could see that she was blushing slightly.
“Come on, I think we lost Alice,” Dorcas said, grabbing both Marlene and Lily. Marlene startled as if coming out of a trance, and she and Lily allowed themselves to be led away.
They found Alice in a booth in the Three Broomsticks. Peter and Mary were with her.
“Alice, how could you leave us to the horror of Marlene’s Quidditch talk?” Lily cried dramatically. Alice merely rolled her eyes in response.
“Potter, Remus, and Black are ordering drinks. I asked them to order for you lot too, I knew it wouldn’t be long until you came to haunt me.”
“Haunt you?” Dorcas raised a hand to her chest. “Why I never-“
“Now you actually sound like the ghost of my grandma or something. Don’t do that,” Peter laughed. The girls sat down as the cafe began to get more crowded.
“Why are there suddenly people here? Excuse you, peasants, this is my territory, back off,” Marlene said. An older man shot her a nasty look, and she grinned widely and flipped him off.
“Manners, dear,” Alice said loftily.
“You can’t talk about manners when we all saw your hand get dangerously close to Frank’s broomstick during dinner,” Marlene answered. Alice turned red as the girls at the table cackled.
“Broomstick? I don’t get it,” Peter said. Mary giggled a bit more and kissed him.
“Never change, Pete,” she said, causing him to blush.
“Budge up, folks, it’s about to be a bit more crowded,” James appeared next to Lily. “Come on, scoot in or you don’t get your drinks.”
“Butterbeer for Marly, Cas, Lils, and Pete, some raspberry concoction for Alice, and one caramel soda thing for Mary,” Remus said, taking drinks off a tray and handing them out. Lily accepted her warm butterbeer gratefully.
“Where have you guys been?” She asked, looking at the three Marauders.
“Joke shop, Honeyduke’s, hexing some people,” Sirius recounted. James sighed in annoyance.
“Mate, you were supposed to leave the hexing bit out.”
“Oh, my mistake,” Sirius said.
“Who did you hex?” Lily tried to control her rising anger. They were supposed to be trying to get better! And now they were hexing people in Hogsmeade, honestly, what were any of them thinking?
“No one,” James said unconvincingly. “Sirius was kidding.”
“Don’t even think about lying to me, Potter,” Lily spat out. “Who was it?”
“Barry Whittle, that Ravenclaw git,” Sirius answered. James turned to him with a look of betrayal. Sirius just shrugged.
“She was gonna find out anyway, mate.”
“May I ask why on earth you felt entitled to do that?” Lily’s voice was deadly calm. Marlene grabbed her wrist but she moved away from the grip.
“He was being a git,” James said, as though it explained everything. Lily scoffed.
“That doesn’t mean you get to hex him! Remus, I can’t believe you’re ok with this.” Lily turned to her fellow prefect.
“Actually, Lily, this is the first I’m hearing this. I was in the bookshop at the time, I’m assuming?” Remus looked at his boyfriend sternly. Sirius nodded meekly.
“Why did you do it?” He asked quietly. The rest of the booth remained silent, heads bobbing back and forth like they were watching tennis.
“He was being a git about you and Sirius, Moony,” James blurted.
“Oh, then that’s acceptable,” Marlene said, returning to her drink.
“No it’s not. You don’t get to hex someone, no matter how awful they are,” Lily said.
“Didn’t you hex three Slytherins for bullying a first year, Evans?” James shot back.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Lily’s eyes were steely. James didn’t seem to see the danger in them. Or he was reckless enough to continue anyway.
“It proves that you’re a major hypocrite, Evans,” James finished. Alice’s eyes went wide. Some members of the table actually gasped. Lily seemed on the verge of explosion, until she got up and left without a word.
“Wrong thing to say, mate,” Sirius clapped James on the shoulder.
“It was true though,” James muttered darkly as he drained his drink.
“We’re gonna go catch up to her. Please don’t cause more trouble,” Alice implored as she, Dorcas, and Marlene left the cafe.
They found Lily near the Shrieking Shack, sitting on a bench. Alice sat beside her, Dorcas beside Alice. Marlene sprawled across them like a cat.
“Get off of me you lump,” Lily groaned as she shoved at Marlene’s legs.
“Nope. Stop moping, I want candy,” Marlene replied.
“How are the two related? And are you five?” Dorcas said. Marlene stuck her tongue out.
“Five and a half, actually. And they’re related because we’re obviously not leaving until Lily’s done moping and I really want to get to Honeyduke’s,” Marlene responded.
“Thanks you bitch,” Alice said, successfully shoving Alice off of the three girls and onto the ground, where she proceeded to flop about like a fish. Lily giggled.
“Sorry guys, Potter just got to me. I only needed a moment.”
“Are you sure? We can talk if you need to,” Dorcas, ever the emotionally mature one, replied.
“I’m sure. Let’s satisfy the five year old’s sugar cravings,” Lily said.
“YAAAAYYYYY!” Marlene shouted as she sprinted back to the main village. The others laughed and followed, claiming not to know her to all who asked.
The girls returned to Hogwarts at six, each with at least one large bag of candy.
“The feast starts at seven, right?” Marlene asked through a mouthful of chocolate.
“Yep. Do you think the Marauders are gonna do a prank?” Alice questioned. Dorcas snorted.
“They do every year, why wouldn’t they?”
“If they do I’m going to give them all detention,” Lily said resolutely.
“But Princess, they’re funny,” Dorcas whined.
“I don’t care if they make Minerva McGonagall, the goddess herself, laugh, I’m going to give them detention.”
“Is this payback for James calling you a hypocrite?” Marlene, ever the tactless friend, asked.
“No,” Lily pouted.
“So that’s a yes. C’mon, Lily, don’t let him get to you. Who cares what Potter thinks?” Dorcas said.
“What if he was right?” Lily stopped dead. “I do hex people occasionally. But only for really good reasons or to defend myself. But Potter was only defending his friends. Which I would have done too. But should he really have hexed anyone? Couldn’t he just prank him or something? Wait, no, I would hex them on the spot too. Or would I prank them later? What if-“
“Lily, girl, calm down. Breathe,” Marlene reminded her.
“Look, was hexing Whittle the right thing to do? No. Was it understandable? Yes. Do I think you would do the same thing? Probably. You’re a bit trigger-happy for a Prefect, Your Highness,” Dorcas cut in as Lily inhaled.
“Not exactly helping, Cas,” Marlene said.
“Let me finish. Lily, you’re in a complicated spot because you have to be an example, but you also have to be yourself. If you think it’s right to punish Potter and Black, do it. But you can’t claim to be above them if you do the same things,” Dorcas finished. The other girls looked at her confusedly.
“What?” She blushed under their scrutiny.
“That was really smart,” Marlene said. Dorcas blushed even harder.
“I have been known to be smart occasionally, Marls,” she responded.
“Yeah, but you’ve also been known to eat a whole tube of cookie dough in one sitting because Frank dared you to,” Marlene answered. The two bickered the whole way to the dormitory.
During the feast, the Marauders did in fact pull off quite the prank, causing the pumpkins to grow bodies and fight each other with candlesticks. No one was hurt, though it was noticed that much of the food at the Slytherins table ended up covered in wax.
Lily noticed Marlene eating less than usual, and she didn’t seem quite as amused by the prank as Lily would have thought. She waited until near the end of the feast when no one was paying attention to ask about it.
“Hey, Marly, what’s wrong?” She asked as Marlene grimaced at her plate.
“Hmm? Oh nothing. Just, you know, worried about Quidditch. First game next week and all,” Marlene answered unconvincingly.
“Right. Wanna tell me what’s actually going on?” Lily asked. Marlene looked around nervously to make sure no one was listening.
“Maybe later, ok? I just..... I’ve been figuring things out lately and I’m kinda scared of the conclusion,” Marlene responded.
“A three syllable word? This must be serious,” Lily joked, trying to lighten the mood. Marlene made a little half-grin but the smile didn’t reach her eyes.
“Yeah yeah. Just....... when I tell you, swear that you won’t hate me. Please,” Marlene implored. There was something unrecognizable in her eyes, something like fear. But Marlene doesn’t get scared, Lily thought. She nodded and the look went away, but Lily found herself thinking about it as they finished dinner.
“What happened to ‘give them all detention’?” Dorcas asked as they climbed to the dormitory.
“Huh?” Lily, lost in thought, responded.
“Never mind,” Dorcas said, hoping her friend’s distraction meant the Marauders were getting out of punishment. They were annoying, but they were fun to have around.
The girls talked quietly until ten, at which point Alice passed out. The others got her to bed and then went to bed themselves. Lily, however, lay awake, wondering what had her best friend so spooked. What could possibly make her think Lily would hate her? They had been best friends since first year when they teamed up to prank the Marauders. Alice and Dorcas were incredible friends, and Lily loved them to death, but she and Marlene were inseparable.
Lily heard one of the girls get out of bed, and suddenly Marlene was by the door to the staircase. She gestured for Lily to follow her. Lily quickly and carefully got out of bed, making sure to not make too much noise.
Marlene was waiting on the couch when she got there. Lily sat next to her, but Marlene continued to gaze at the fire, light glinting off her blonde hair. She was curled into herself, feet up on the couch and arms around her knees. She looked small and lost. Lily was used to her friend having a larger-than-life kind of presence. Seeing her like this was definitely concerning, and slightly frightening.
“Marly, what’s wrong? You know you can tell me anything. Nothing you could say would make me hate you,” Lily started, looking at her friend.
“Yeah?” Marlene said quietly, still not looking at Lily. “Is there anything I could say that would make you scared of me?”
“I was on the other side of the bathroom door when you put in a tampon for the first time. You couldn’t scare me if you tried, sweetie,” Lily scoffed. Marlene cracked a small smile, but still didn’t look at her friend.
“What do you find attractive about guys? Like what features?” Marlene asked quietly. Lily almost laughed until she saw how scared her friend still looked. So instead she started talking.
“Eyes. Eyes are definitely a thing. Dark brown eyes? I’m a goner. Slightly scruffy look. Not like Potter, but a bit messy. Tall, definitely. Well, I could make an exception if other criteria is met. If they’re fit? Wow that’s nice. Abs? Biceps? Mark me down as married,” Lily joked. Marlene smiled, which made Lily keep going. “Athletic is a nice bonus, and intelligence is obviously a must. Kind, supportive but not smothering, a good friend. He has to be funny too. I’ve been out with guys who had the personality of soggy cardboard and that was the opposite of a good time.”
“You know you’re basically describing Potter, right?” Marlene almost grinned. Lily sputtered indignantly.
“Fuck off, McKinnon.”
“Yeah.” Marlene went quiet again. Lily sensed that now was the time to prod.
“Why do you want to know? You better not be setting me up with someone,” she joked.
“No, it’s just..... Merlin, I don’t even know. I don’t know how to say this,” Marlene fiddled with her robes.
“Then just talk. Until the thing you want to say eventually comes out,” Lily advised. Marlene snorted.
“Heh, comes out.... ok, here goes, I guess. Everything you said makes sense, right? The whole, finding guys attractive especially if they have these qualities, thing. But I don’t feel it? Like, I can look at a guy and go, yeah, he’s fit, or I can think he has good hair, or pretty eyes or something, but it doesn’t make me feel anything?” Marlene got up and began to pace. Lily watched her face carefully, picking up on her stress and slight confusion.
“Ok, so you haven’t met anyone who makes you feel something like that. Is that what this is about?” Lily guessed, keeping her voice quiet and soothing. Marlene’s pacing didn’t even slow down, however.
“No. I have met someone. I’ve met someone who makes me feel so much. I look at their eyes and I feel like I can see galaxies in them. Their hair is so gorgeous, and they’re really fit. They’re so smart, ridiculously kind, sweet, talented, thoughtful, caring, funny, everything good a person could be,” Marlene listed, still pacing. A thought started forming in Lily’s mind, but she waited for Marlene to finish. “They’re the best person I’ve ever met. I really like them. I trust them. Trust, Lily. Do you know how hard that is for me?”
“Oh I know,” Lily said, thinking back to the days where Marlene was her friend but still secretive. A family that always wanted to know everything about you generally made you want to keep secrets and find privacy, and Marlene’s family was less than accommodating about that.
“And it’s driving me insane faster than I can fly a broomstick because..... I can’t tell anyone because.... I......... I can’t.......” Marlene trailed off, looking horrified at herself.
“Because it’s not a guy. The person you like, they’re a girl, aren’t they?” Lily questioned softly. Marlene looked up at her, absolutely devastated. But she held it together as she nodded slowly.
“Oh Marly, c’mere,” Lily said, opening her arms. Marlene fell into them with a sob.
“Shhhh, shh. It’s ok, I got you, I got you,” Lily soothed, rubbing Marlene’s back as she cried. “It’s ok, it’s ok. I got you, you’re safe. It’s ok.”
“I’m sorry,” Marlene gasped out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.....”
“Hey, hey, no, don’t say that. You’re ok, Marly, you’re ok. You have nothing to be sorry for,” Lily said, pulling back to grab Marlene’s face and look at her. She could see tear tracks running down her face in the fire’s light. Lily wiped them away unthinkingly. Marlene recoiled as though she’d been burned.
“I’m sorry. I get it, I, I shouldn’t, I’m sorry, I’ll sleep in the common room or something, I’m sorry,” Marlene continued to try and talk between sobs, avoiding eye contact with Lily.
“What? No you won’t. What are you talking about?” Lily asked.
“I’m sure you don’t want me in the dorms anymore, it’s ok, I get it. You think I’m a creep, they said you would-“
“What? No, of course you’re staying in the dorm, and I don’t think you’re a creep. Who told you that?” Lily asked, angry for her friend. Marlene shrugged, but there were tears in her eyes.
“My parents.”
“Jesus fuck, Marly, are you ok? Wait, dumb question, sorry. I mean, Jesus, how could they say that to you? I’m gonna kick their asses so hard, I swear-“
“Calm down, Red, it’s ok. Not like they’re wrong,” Marlene said, hate in her eyes. Lily realized the hate was for herself and not her parents, which made her even angrier.
“You’re not a creep, Marly. Do you think Remus and Sirius are creeps for staying in their dorm? Do you think there’s something wrong with them?” Lily asked.
“Merlin, of course not, Lily, what does that have to do with- oh,” Marlene quieted down as she realized what point Lily was trying to make.
“Exactly. If they’re not creeps, why are you?” Lily said.
Marlene smiled a bit. Lily grinned to herself, and the patted the couch beside her.
“Does anyone else know?” She asked as Marlene sat down.
“Not yet, but I was gonna tell Sirius tomorrow or something,” Marlene answered.
“Ok. Why don’t you tell me more about this girl you like?”Lily teased, making Marlene blush.
The two spent a long time talking, and in the morning, if the two girls looked unusually tired but happy as they ate breakfast, no one could guess why.