
Arson, Quidditch, and Detention
Lily was enjoying some peace and quiet in the library. It was Friday, and she had gotten all her homework done, and the first Quidditch game, Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw, was the next day. Lily was reading about healing Potions when Sirius Black walked up to her.
“Hey, Red. Mind if we talk?” He asked quietly.
“Why not?” Lily answered, closing her book. Sirius sat down beside her.
“So, uh,” He ran a hand through his hair. “Micks told me.”
“She said she was going to. How did it go?” Lily asked.
“It was fine, she just said it outright. I hugged her and told her that it was my life’s goal to set her up with the perfect girl now,” Sirius answered with a grin. Lily smiled back.
“Thanks for being so good about it,” she said.
“Yeah, of course,” he replied. “But I was wondering... did she tell you what her parents said?”
“She told me they said we would think she was a creep,” Lily said, anger coming back to her as she recalled how her friend’s parents had made her feel about herself.
“Yeah, well, that’s not all they said. They told her that she was a freak, and an abomination. They disowned her, Lily,” Sirius responded, equal parts angry and sad.
“What?” Lily exclaimed, almost disbelieving. She had met Marlene’s parents. They weren’t awful, and they seemed to really love their daughter. But one look into Sirius’s eyes and she could tell it was true. “How could they do that? How dare they do that, I’m gonna-“
“Whoa, Red, hold on, maybe don’t go attack them right now,” Sirius said, catching Lily by the arm as she stood up. “I don’t think you could even make it out of the castle.”
“I could try!” Lily cried angrily.
“Ok, calm down. This is definitely why Micks didn’t mention this to you. None of us have enough money to bail you out of Azkaban, Red.” Sirius pulled Lily back into her seat as she continued to threaten the McKinnons.
“I’m gonna kill them, I swear. Oh Merlin, wait until Alice finds out.”
“Shit,” Sirius said, eyes widening. “She’ll burn their bloody house down.”
“Cas will help her. So will I. Mary would probably just be the lookout,” Lily mused, planning the arson in her mind.
“Ok, that might be a step too far,” Sirius said, seeing the calculating look in Lily’s eyes.
“Didn’t James and Remus flood your house when the Blacks kicked you out?” Lily asked.
“Fair enough,” Sirius said after a pause. “Look, Micks said I could tell you, but if you could keep it quiet, at least until she comes out to everyone, that would be grand.”
“Yeah, of course,” Lily replied. Sirius nodded and began to walk away. “Hey Sirius,” Lily called. He turned around. “Did Marly tell you anything about the girl she likes?”
“Just a basic description. You?”
“Same here. If we ever figure out who it is, wanna help set them up?” Lily asked mischievously.
Sirius’s eyes twinkled. “Count me in, Red.”
————————————————————————————————————
The next day was clear and chilly.
“Perfect day for it,” Marlene said cheerfully at breakfast.
“Plus, the Ravenclaw’s had to put in one of their backup Beaters. The other is sick,” Dorcas added.
“Are we just going to get used to you knowing Quidditch things because of Marlene?” Alice asked serenely. Both Marlene and Dorcas blushed.
“Hey McKinnon,” James said as he slid into a seat beside her. “You ready?”
“Born ready, Potter. Worst player on the team has to get snacks for the victory party,” Marlene challenged.
“You’re on, Micks,” Sirius said as he arrived, tugging Remus towards their friends by the hand. Remus’s nose was stuck in a book, as usual.
“What are you reading, Remus?” Dorcas asked. She and Remus fell into a discussion about the history of wandmaking. Marlene smiled softly at Dorcas as she talked animatedly. Lily and Sirius shared a look. ‘I wonder if,’ Lily thought. ‘No, I would have noticed by now if Marls was into Cas.’
“So Evans, wish me luck?” James teased, his typical grin making an appearance. Lily rolled her eyes.
“Gryffindor? Of course I wish them luck. You, on the other hand? I hope you get a bludger to the face.”
“I’m truly wounded, Evans. How could you?” James continued. Lily pointedly ignored him.
“Hey, would you walk me down to the pitch?” James asked, suddenly serious. Lily almost said no, but she saw the plea in his eyes.
“Alright Potter,” she answered. They both got up and began to leave.
“Get it Evans!” Marlene shouted. Alice wolf-whistled, and Dorcas laughed at their antics.
“Shut up you meth ferret!” Lily yelled back. Dorcas laughed even harder.
James and Lily walked out of the castle in silence. But soon Lily’s curiosity got the better of her.
“Why did you ask me to come down with you?” She asked.
“I wanted to apologize,” James said simply. Lily stopped dead.
“You, apologize? Do you even know how?”
“Very funny, Evans. Please don’t make this harder.”
“Ok, sorry. Go on,” Lily said. James cleared his throat.
“I’m sorry I called you a hypocrite in Hogsmeade. It was uncalled for. I was still mad about that git insulting Moony and Padfoot, and I took it out on you. I apologize,” he said seriously.
“It’s alright, I forgive you. And you weren’t really wrong, I would have done the exact same thing. I just assumed that you were in the wrong and that was dumb of me. If it was in defense of your friends, I can’t really disagree with it,” Lily said.
“Thanks,” James replied. “And it wasn’t dumb to assume I was being a jackass. I was all last year, and even a bit before that. But I’m trying to be better now.”
“I’ll try not to make it harder on you,” Lily responded as they reached the pitch. “Right, well, I’m gonna go save some seats. Good luck.”
“Hey, you did wish me luck.” James grinned.
“Did I? Must have been a mistake,” Lily called over her shoulder.
————————————————————————————————————
“AND GRYFFINDOR LEADS WITH A SCORE OF 90 TO 70. PASS FROM RAVENCLAW’S WILLIAMS TO SMITH, WHO FUMBLES TO GRYFFINDOR CHASER CATHY RODGERS, WHO RAVENCLAW BEATER TARGETS TO NO AVAIL. THAT’S RIGHT, DUMBASSES, MY BOYFRIEND IS BETTER THAN YOU. WORK IT BABE,” Remus, the appointed Quidditch commentator screamed into the mic. Lily could practically hear McGonagall’s sigh of disappointment over the cheering and screaming.
“JAMES POTTER ALMOST GRABS THE SNITCH AGAIN, ATTA BOY PRONGS, YOU’LL GET IT. OOH, EXCELLENT BLUDGER HIT FROM MARLENE MCKINNON, YOU GO GIRL.”
“Go Marlene!” Dorcas and Lily shouted. Alice was screaming too loudly to even notice.
“AND RAVENCLAW CHASERS PREVENTED FROM SCORING BY THE SEXY BEAST FRANK LONGBOTTOM. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE IN A COMMITTED HETERO RELATIONSHIP FRANK.”
Frank blew a kiss towards Remus jokingly. Alice laughed harder than anyone else, used to Remus’s spirited commentary.
“OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT.”
“Jesus Christ Potter!” Lily screeched as the Seeker went into a nosedive.
“OH JESUS FUCK JAMES YOU’RE GONNA DIE. YOU ARE GOING TO DIE YOU NARCISSISTIC PIGHEADED IDIOTIC-OH THANK GOD HE DIDN’T CRASH. GRYFFINDOR SEEKER JAMES POTTER SNATCHES THE SNITCH, GRYFFINDOR WINS. IF YOU ALL WILL EXCUSE ME, THERE’S A VERY SEXY GRYFFINDOR BEATER THAT REQUIRES MY ATTENTION.” Remus finished, dashing from the commentator stand before Professor McGonagall could catch him.
“Stay away from me Lupin,” Marlene shouted, flying towards her friends in the stands. “Incoming!”
“Jesus Marly no!” Lily screamed running from her life. Dorcas was too late though, and Marlene fell onto her as she crashed, laughing like a maniac. Or at least, laughing until she realized Dorcas was laying still beneath her, as Marlene practically straddled her waist. She blushed and got up, extending a hand to Dorcas.
“Sorry Cas. You alright?” Marlene asked, helping Dorcas up.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Dorcas answered, also blushing furiously. Marlene turned away, only to see Lily with a smirk and raised eyebrow.
“Shut up,” Marlene mouthed as they walked away.
————————————————————————————————————
“Let’s hear some noise for our Quidditch team!” Remus shouted to a common room full of celebrating Gryffindors, who all cheered in response.
“And let’s hear it for Remus’s excellent commentary!” Frank shouted from his place next to Alice. This got an even louder cheer, making Sirius kiss a blushing Remus on the cheek proudly.
“Hey, James, time to make good on your bet. You took forever to catch the snitch, mate,” Marlene said, clapping James on the shoulder. He groaned good-naturedly.
“Ugh, fine. But I’ll need help.”
“Take Lily,” Dorcas answered. “She’s not doing much anyway.”
“I’m silently judging everyone in this room,” Lily replied in annoyance. Dorcas just rolled her eyes.
“Please take her Potter.”
“Alright. Wanna come to the kitchens, Evans?” James asked. The question was teasing but it seemed like he was genuinely asking if she was ok with it.
“Yeah, fine,” Lily answered, heading for the door, James behind her.
“So what did you think of the game today?” James asked.
“I think you almost killed yourself grabbing the snitch,” Lily answered.
“Is that concern I detect, Evans?” James joked.
“Not really,” Lily snarked back.
“A wound, a wound. A plague on both your houses,” James cried dramatically, clutching his robes.
“Are you trying to quote Mercutio?” Lily asked.
“So someone’s read Shakespeare,” James said, clearly impressed.
“Yeah, and that someone is not you, Potter,” Lily teased as they made it into the kitchens.
“Mister Potter, Miss Evans! How can we help you?” An eager house elf asked.
“Hiya, Kitsy. Could you please get us a bunch of pastries and chocolate, and a ton of butterbeer as well?” James asked politely.
“Of course, sir.” Kitsy disappeared into the kitchens. Lily stared at James in slight surprise.
“What?” James said, rubbing the back of his neck. He seemed almost self-conscious.
“Nothin,” Lily replied. “Just didn’t know you were capable of being so polite.”
“Gee, thanks.” James sobered up slightly. “We have a house elf at my house named Georgie.”
“Georgie?” Lily asked, slightly confused by the house elf’s unusually normal name.
“Yeah,” James responded. “The little guy took care of me all the time when my parents were gone, and picked up after me, and taught me some classic pranks. I respect him too much to ever disrespect another house elf.”
“Huh.” Lily grabbed some food as Kitsy returned with their order. “Thanks, Kitsy.”
“Thank you very much, Kitsy,” James said. The two left the kitchens, arms full of refreshments.
“So, Dorcas knows a lot about Gryffindor Quidditch suddenly,” Lily said abruptly. “Have you ordered your players to corrupt our normal, nerdy selves?”
James laughed. “Unfortunately, the idea didn’t occur to me. Marly goes on rants, doesn’t she? That’s why Dorcas knows a bit?”
“Yep,” Lily snickered as they walked. “Players, broomsticks and equipment, teams, all kinds of stuff. Marly never stops talking about Quidditch.”
“Yeah, well, she is aiming to play professionally. I think she thinks she has to know all that stuff to have a chance,” James replied.
“That’s ridiculous,” Lily scoffed. “She’s the best Beater Hogwarts has seen in decades.”
“Try telling her that. People think I overwork myself at practice, I’m surprised she’s not dead yet. Shows up early, stays out late, pushes herself harder than any other player on the team.”
“Sounds like Marly,” Lily nodded as they reached the common room again. James swept his arm towards the Fat Lady’s portrait.
“After you, m’lady.”
Lily snickered. “Codswallop,” she said to the portrait, which swung open to reveal an even wilder party than the one they had left. They shared an exasperated look about their fellow Gryffindors, and then went in.
————————————————————————————————————
“Did you know Potter has a house elf?” Lily asked, staring at the ceiling from her bed. All of the girls were forced into the dorms after lights out was called, but everyone except Mary was still too energetic too sleep.
“Yeah, Georgie, right?” Dorcas responded from her own bed.
“Yeah.” Lily sat up to look at Dorcas. “How did you know that?”
“I’ve met him,” Dorcas answered nonchalantly. “Sweet little guy, makes great chocolate cake.” Suddenly every girl in the room was asking questions.
“How did you meet him-“
“Why were you at Potter’s house-“
“Because she has a crush on him, remember?”
“Yeah but he’s into you Lils.”
“Guys, we’re skipping over the fact that Dorcas has been to Potter’s house,” Alice said just as Lily was about to smack Marlene.
“Oh right,” Lily said. “Dorcas, darling?”
“Yes, lovely Lily?” Dorcas responded.
“Care to tell us why you were at Potter’s house?” Lily asked.
“Not particularly,” Dorcas teased. “I was at his Christmas party, guys. We live near him and Mrs. Potter invited us. I spent the whole time talking with Remus anyway.”
“Sounds like true love to me. Mrs. Dorcas Potter-“ Lily got hit in the face by a pillow that flew from Dorcas’s bed. She tossed it back.
“My little baby’s growing up,” Alice said, pretending to wipe away a tear. A pillow hit her too.
“Marly? You’ve been awfully quiet. What do you think about the future Mrs. Potter?” Lily asked. Marlene seemed to snap out of a trance and traded her slight grimace for a grin.
“I’m sure they’ll be very happy together,” she said. Not a single pillow was even thrown from Dorcas’s bed this time.
“Well, on that note, I’m headed to bed.” Lily dropped back onto her mattress as Marlene turned out the lights. “Goodnight ladies.”
“Night Lils,” Marlene replied.
“Good night Lily.” Alice yawned.
“Fuck off ginger.” Was heard from Dorcas.
“Night Dorcas.”
“Goodnight Princess.”
————————————————————————————————————
The next few days passed without incident. Lily was almost surprised by that, considering how chaotic life at Hogwarts was. She was less surprised when she found almost her entire friend group in detention.
6 hours earlier.........
“We have the Ministry crony today,” Dorcas said, prompting a round of groans. Jackson Rein had not improved throughout his time at Hogwarts. He only ever seemed to teach straight from the textbook, and they barely got a chance to use the few spells they were taught.
“How are we supposed to prepare for NEWTS with him teaching?” Marlene muttered.
“Keep practicing on our own, I guess,” Remus responded.
Ever since it became apparent that Rein was not going to teach them properly, the girls and the Marauders had been training together in a secret passage in the fourth floor. The space was hidden behind a mirror, and you didn’t have to say a password, but had to high-five yourself in the mirror to get in.
“Yeah, alright. Just wish we had a better teacher, you know?” Alice said. Everyone nodded in agreement.
“He’s pretty useless. Remus, you’re a far better teacher than him,” Lily remarked. Remus had taken the role of teacher in their practice sessions, and he was very good at it, always knowing what to say to encourage everyone to keep improving.
“Why, thank you, Lily,” Remus grinned.
Classes throughout most of the day were fairly normal. McGonagall was as intimidating as ever, Marlene continued to be awful at Herbology, and Charms was relatively easy. The first incident was in Potions, when Alice blew up a cauldron and a piece of it hit Professor Slughorn in the face.
“Miss Prewett, if you would please, for Merlin’s sake, pay attention to the instructions,” Slughorn wheezed.
“Sorry sir,” Alice said.
“Just come by after class today to help clean up,” Slughorn said.
“Yes sir,” Alice replied. Lily nudged her.
“You know it’s not a punishment, right? He’s too old to see the whole mess properly, he’d slip on something within twenty minutes without help.”
Alice laughed and returned to trying to salvage her notes.
The next incident was during DADA. Predictably, almost no one was listening to Rein’s lecture. James and Sirius were passing notes, Peter was folding paper into origami swans and flying them over to Mary, and Remus was dutifully taking notes, but his eyes were noticeably glazed over. Marlene and Dorcas were talking quietly, and Alice was gazing at Frank, who would look back towards her and blush occasionally. Lily almost retched at their lovesick behavior.
“And as you can imagine, wizards are not to use magic to protect muggles in this dangerous time-“ Rein continued his lecture in a monotone voice.
“Wait, what?” Dorcas said loudly. Lily also snapped to attention, and the whole class seemed to stop what they were doing to listen.
“Many wizards are risking exposure to protect their muggle neighbors, which is particularly unwise. Now-“ Rein said, clearly annoyed at the interruption.
“Why is it unwise to protect muggles?” Dorcas asked.
“If they wanted our help, they shouldn’t have forced us into hiding. They’re doing fine on their own,” Rein replied.
“Muggles are the ones Voldemort is targeting! Why shouldn’t we help them? They aren’t the same people who forced wizards into hiding!” Dorcas argued loudly. Many of the students nodded, but seemed too frightened to speak up.
“Miss Meadowes, wizards must come first in these dangerous times, we are the only ones who can fight You-Know-Who.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it! Muggles deserve protection as much as us!” Dorcas answered.
“I’m sure that someone in detention will agree with you,” Rein responded. Dorcas turned white.
“Hold on,” Marlene said. “She gets a detention because, how shocking, she thinks people have a right to live?”
“You can join her in detention, Miss McKinnon. Everyone has a right to live, but wizards come first,” Rein answered.
“That’s horrible and almost as racist as my family,” Sirius said loudly.
“Detention, Mr. Black.”
“You can’t just put everyone who has a different opinion in detention,” Lily cried out frustratedly. Rein was a useless teacher but she didn’t think he would be so awful.
“Detention for you as well, Miss Evans.”
“That’s shite,” James called out. “Evans is doing nothing wrong.”
“Mr. Potter, I trust you already know what I’m going to say,” Rein responded.
“Are you trying to reach a quota or something?” Remus snarked. Rein didn’t even talk, just put a detention slip on his desk.
“Class is dismissed,” Rein said. “Everyone who has a detention can report to the Deputy Headmistress.”
Everyone packed up, Lily fuming silently. ‘Openly racist and we get in trouble for being decent fucking people. How dare you think people should live? Detention for you!’ She thought angrily.
“Come on, let’s go to McGonagall,” Marlene said, grabbing Lily by the elbow, already holding on to Dorcas’s wrist. They headed toward the professor’s office, James, Sirius, and Remus trailing behind them.
“Why didn’t anyone else say anything?” Dorcas asked angrily.
“Alice is already in trouble with Slughorn, I imagine she didn’t want to make anything worse. Frank looked like he wanted to, but when Rein started handing out detentions like grandmas hand out candy he kept his mouth shut. We told Pete not to say anything, we have a rule that at least one Marauder has to be available when the others are in detention,” Sirius said.
“How did you know about Alice?” Lily asked curiously.
“Cas told Prongs,” he answered. Lily looked towards Dorcas with a raised eyebrow.
“He asked if anything interesting happened in Potions, I told him about Alice Explosion number, what is it now, 200?” Dorcas defended. Lily only smirked.
“Is something happening?” James whispered to Remus. “Are they communicating non-verbally somehow?”
“No clue,” Remus whispered back as they reached McGonagall’s office. Sirius burst through the door.
“You’re not gonna fuckin believe this Minnie!”
“Try again,” McGonagall said, not even looking up from a paper. Sirius left and closed the door quietly, only to burst through again.
“Boy do we have a scoop for you!”
“Not quite, Mr. Black, but it is an improvement. To what do I owe this headache?” She asked dryly. Remus handed over the note Rein wrote on the detention slip. McGonagall read it expressionlessly.
“You said Rein was teaching bullshit?” She looked at Dorcas. Dorcas nodded sheepishly.
“You said he didn’t think people deserved to live?” McGonagall turned to Marlene. She nodded resolutely, still holding Dorcas’s wrist.
“You called him racist?” She turned to Sirius, who grinned and did finger-guns.
“You told him off for giving out detentions?” McGonagall switched to looking at Lily, who nodded as well.
“You called it shite?” She looked at James, who winked and saluted.
“And you accused him of having a quota of detention-giving to reach?” McGonagall finally looked to Remus.
“I certainly hope he’s reached it,” he answered solemnly. McGonagall sighed. She left the room for a minute.
“Where is she going?” Dorcas asked. “Is there a secret room we’re being locked in?”
“No, but Filch would love that,” Marlene snorted. “Relax, it’s just McGonagall. She won’t be too bad.”
“Good point,” Dorcas responded.
McGonagall returned with a small tin. “You understand why you got detentions?” She asked. They all nodded. “You know that no matter how awful a teacher is, you can’t mouth off to them?” Once again, everyone nodded. “Excellent,” McGonagall said. “Detention over.” She took the lid off the tin. “Grab a biscuit on your way out.”