Planning & Plotting
Chapter 23: Planning & Plotting
“What are you going to do?”
Mali and Ira were huddled together in the back of their favorite coffee shop discussing the party that she and Tawan had to attend tomorrow at Mr. Tek’s.
That morning, before Tawan went to work, she told Ira that if she did not want to go to the party then she would go by herself for an hour before heading back home to be with her. Ira opened her mouth to take her up on the offer for the obvious reason, but then a thought occurred to her and she contemplated it.
This could be a chance for her to find out why Lai was suddenly in her life again.
So, instead, Ira swallowed down the nerves that forced their way up her throat like ants and assured her wife that she was feeling much better. It was not mostly a lie because now that she may have an opening, she would get to the bottom of this mess and then figure out how to share it with Tawan. As scared as she was, she hated the chains this situation put her in and she jerked at them.
Like she told herself the day Lai left her life - she would never let her or anyone else hurt her like that or make her feel that she had no control of her life whatsoever.
“I’m going to confront her,” Ira answered, eyes glaring ahead. “Fuck her. I’m not going to let her do this to me again. I promised I wouldn’t.”
Mali’s eyebrows were raised as she stared at her. “Ira…I’m glad you are standing up to her, but please be careful,” she practically begged.
“Pray for her not me,” Ira half threatened, shaking her head.
“Ira,” Mali warned. “Remember this is not only your safety but also Tawan’s job.”
Ira smacked her lips and rolled her eyes. “Oh, Mali. I’m not going to do anything stupid,” she scoffed and rolled her eyes.
“But what if she does?” Mali reminded.
Ira looked at her with a hard face, biting down so hard that her jaw muscle twitched.
Mali was not only warning her about losing her own cool, but about the danger Lai could present if she pushed her too hard. The last thing she wanted to do was embarrass Tawan at a work function even if Tawan would back her every single time knowing there would always be a reason, and especially if she found out this sinister reason and why. There was also the fact that now that Ira was back working in fashion, it meant that the people she was interacting with were no longer just her wife’s coworkers.
Ira was considerate of both this and also how Mali was attached to her name as her manager.
“Then what do you suggest I do?” Ira asked, trying to hide her frustration.
“You know what to do,” her manager stated with a pointed look.
Ira swallowed and turned from her burning look, faintly shaking her head as her crossed leg started bouncing harder.
The only thing she wanted to do was pick Lai up and fling her across the globe into the deepest part of the ocean. This new day brought so much clarity and anger that it prepared her defenses. Parts of Ira - the protective wife and mother bear - were banging on their walls demanding a full release to which Ira was more than happy to comply with in defense of her family.
But Mali was right - tomorrow at Tawan’s boss’ house for a party was not the time or place to lose her composure and expose a private matter publicly.
“I’ll keep my cool,” Ira promised, a silent begrudging as she turned back to her.
Mali eyed her before slowly nodding upon discovery. “I know you will,” she said, smiling gently.
“I just have to know,” Ira explained. She grabbed her coffee and took a nervous drink.
“I want you to find out, but just be safe and careful and don’t let her get under your skin. That’s probably what she wants,” Mali said softly.
“I will,” Ira promised again and smiled some.
“So, what are you going to say?” Mali asked, taking a sip of her espresso.
“I’m sure she’ll lie to me, but I want to know if she planned this. This is all too coincidental,” Ira said irritably, waving the air around them for emphasis.
“And if she did, what the fuck did she think was going to happen? You’re a happily married woman with two children,” Mali added and rolled her eyes with a scoff.
“Even if I wasn’t I still wouldn’t want her in a million eternities,” Ira snorted, crossing her arms over her chest and making them both chuckle.
“Yeah, fuck her,” Mali added and they both laughed.
“I would be such a fucking mess about this right now if I didn’t have you to lean on,” Ira said, eyes starting to water as she grabbed her hand. “I guess there was a reason I opened up to you about it that day long ago."
Mali smiled back at her, placing her other hand on top of theirs. “I’m glad you did, but I am curious. Why only me? I mean, I understand blocking it off before meeting Tawan, but not even your parents then?” She asked again, still touched by her trust.
Ira swallowed again, this time looking down at their hands in deep thought as Mali watched her and waited patiently. It was true that she had blocked Lai and all memories of her from her mind after she left, thinking this was a new chapter of her life, but there would sometimes be random flashes of a memory from those short days.
There was that time a year after they had married that Ira slipped on a slick surface in her heels at a party for some friends and Lee swiftly reached out to grab her wrist to catch her. His grip was strong and firm to prevent her hitting the concrete, but gentle and caring so as to not hurt her as he helped her straighten herself.
For the briefest, faintest of moments, Ira felt the ghost of the very strong grip of Lai’s on her wrist from long ago, a few days after she had broken up with her. She was not happy that Ira had been ignoring her phone calls and messages, and wanted to make it clear to her at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Ira dared not to wonder what could have happened if some classmates had not brought them over drinks to take shots, unbeknownst to them of what they had just walked up on.
“It was all still so fresh,” Ira said faraway, looking even farther. “I couldn’t tell my parents or they would worry and want to do something. Imagine my mom, the lawyer. And my friends from high school were just so far away. I started to feel alone.”
Mali turned her hand over to hold her hands between hers, the admission not only touching her heart but lighting a fire in her.
When she met Ira, it had been almost six months since Lai was gone from her life and she remembers her looking hesitant to make new friends. She assumed that she was just a timid, nervous, and shy girl being away from home in college, but when she learned about Rain and her terror she inflicted, Ira’s mannerisms and some reactions made sense. Though they had only been calling each other best friend for a few months, Ira sharing a deep secret with her solidified their friendship and Mali vowed to protect her innocent soul.
“I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it,” Ira said, a tear escaping and wiping it quickly. “If people found out then they would always talk about it and especially behind my back. The thought of that made me sick. And despite how much I hated her, I didn’t want her to get in trouble. I just wanted her to leave me alone so I could forget it ever happened.”
“No one would blame you for standing up for yourself, Ira. You weren’t the one in the wrong here,” Mali reminded gently.
“I can see that now but I was barely 19 then. All I could think about was that I would be ruining both of our lives and our families, too. This would be a major scandal,” Ira pointed out.
“I guess I didn’t think about that,” Mali muttered to herself. “But your safety is more important than a scandal.”
“I know that. But there are more people involved now. I just have to do this right this time,” Ira continued, determined, and sighed. “I’m a little braver now, but the stakes haven’t changed except for the person. I have to protect Tawan.”
“You need to get an injunction so that she can’t come near you, Tawan, or the kids,” Mali stated with a pointed look.
At the thought of the twins in their conversation about Lai, Ira clenched her fist and gritted her teeth.
Mali yelped and looked to their joined hands before trying to loosen her grip as her nails started to dig into her hand. Ira’s mind was racing at the thought of Lai coming near her children, and though she wanted to think she was not crazy enough to do that, she never wanted to take the chance with her. This would only have the potential to exacerbate the situation if Tawan found out everything by then.
“Sorry,” Ira winced as Mali freed herself, reaching to rub her hand.
“It’s okay, Momma Bear,” Mali chuckled, refusing and wincing as she shook her hand out.
“I guess I will have to talk to my mom,” Ira sighed to herself, frowning.
“Your mom will kill her before she files an injunction,” Mali half joked, making them both chuckle some.
They let a silence settle over them for a moment, reaching to sip their drinks before settling back into their seats.
“I need to tell her soon,” Ira said quietly, knowingly. Her heart begged her almost every moment to let Tawan into this part of her past that she worked so hard to forget, but her mind was worrying her with guilt of making things worse for everyone.
Mali looked at her then smiled softly in thought. “She loves you. More than anything in this world. You guys will be more than okay,” she told her.
A small smile spread across Ira’s face as she went into deeper thought about Tawan. She knew this - nothing was ever more truer. However, she still felt like she was missing a piece of the puzzle and was both too stubborn and determined to find it before sharing.The last thing she wanted to do was stress Tawan, especially now that they had a clear and concise plan for her future at Vibe/Me.
If the off chance that this was all a coincidence came to fruition, Ira would feel so guilty and selfish about mudding up Tawan’s career with this drama. That was why she wanted to find out why Lai was here before she popped Tawan’s bubble. She kept thinking that if she had something for them to stand on then maybe this would not go so bad.
Ira’s gut was barking at her and she put her hand to it to quell it.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Is Ira feeling better?” Lai asked.
Tawan nodded to her, placing a finger over her lips as she finished chewing her salad.
They were having lunch with the team in the conference room after having finished the rough draft of the summer launch issue. They would turn it in for Mr. Tek for review, but Tawan and Lai were confident it was the best they could do because Lai suggested showing him bits and pieces of it to sneak feedback to better construct the draft.
Everyone was in good spirits and the added bonus of it being Friday provided a much needed morale boost. Tawan was so thankful for all their hard work that she ordered them lunch and could see the light come back into people’s eyes.
“Yeah, I think it was some stomach issues she sometimes gets mixed with that time of the month,” Tawan answered, forking some salmon.
“Ah, of course,” Lai said, nodding familiarly.
Tawan, mid-chew, looked at her as she suddenly sensed something. “Yeah, uh, she was doing much better this morning,” she said, slowly finishing her bite and mentally shaking herself.
“Good. She can come to the party tomorrow,” Lai mused, forking through her food.
“Yeah, maybe,” Tawan answered, shrugging indifferently.
Lai looked up at her as she reached for her water to take a drink, trying to not force her too much. She tried to pay attention to what Tawan was saying when she started talking about finishing touches on the rough draft, but her mind was wondering elsewhere. Ever since she laid eyes on Ira yesterday, she could not stop thinking about her.
It had been almost ten years since they last saw each other, and almost every day since she has wondered what her ex-girlfriend was doing or if she thought about her. It was hard to keep up with Ira since she had been blocked on all social media platforms. Despite the blocks, the long distance, and the years of time, Lai never forgot their short time together and always wondered what could have been.
There was just something so mesmerizing and innocent about Ira that made it hard for her to move on. She knew that Ira was the type of woman to marry, the kind that would make her family proud of her choice. She came from a very good family background, excelled at school, was drop dead gorgeous, and cared about people in a way that felt like it had no limits.
Lai always felt like she never got a fair shot at conquering Ira's love.
“What do you think about Tek’s part of the issue?” Tawan asked, dabbing a napkin at her lips.
Lai was thinking about memories far into the depths of her mind. Tawan looked up from her cellphone as she typed a quick checkup on Ira when she did not get a response.
“Hey? You still here?” Tawan joked and waved her hand.
Lai’s head reared back some and she shook it. “Y-yeah, just….thinking about something else. Sorry,” she apologized.
Tawan waved her off and grabbed her tea. “I was just asking what do you think about Tek’s part of the issue,” she informed and took several sips.
Lai, thankful that her focus had been returned for the moment, sat up straight in her seat and rattled off some thoughts she had.
Lunch lasted about another 30 minutes before everyone headed back to their tasks in hopes of the remainder of the day speeding by to start the weekend. They would all see each other tomorrow at Mr. Tek’s house for the party, so Tawan was letting the office out early since they were finishing up the rough draft.
“You know, I was thinking,” Lai began as she helped Tawan clean the conference table.
“Oh,” Tawan said, placing trash in the trash bin.
“Your wife just got back into modeling, right?” Lai said, watching as she looked up at her. “We should feature her in one of the issues. Maybe even this one.”
Tawan tucked her chin in and looked up in thought. “Why do you say that?” She asked both lost and curiously.
“She’s hot,” Lai said simply, smirking knowingly to herself a bit as she pushed a chair in. “Local, up and coming model. Collected some major brand deals. Walked in Paris. I mean, she has a story that the public would be inspired by especially women.”
Tawan looked at her questioningly, a hand on her hip. “I don’t know,” she said, shaking her head a bit.
“Wife and mother,” Lai continued, barely hiding the bite on each word and her disgust. “What’s not to love? Or are you gatekeeping her for yourself?”
“Oh, trust me. I could never do that,” Tawan laughed in memory. “You can’t hide Ira’s inner and outer beauty from others. People just love her. Besides, I love watching her being appreciated.”
Lai nibbled on the inside of her bottom lip as she stared at her. “Well, then what's the problem?” She asked, forcing a, albeit slightly irritated, smile.
Tawan looked up to her, inhaling a shrug. “You’d have to convince her. She said she wants no conflict of interest between her work and mines. She doesn’t want people to talk,” she told her.
“All her or some of you, too?” Lai pressed a little, biting back her accusation.
Tawan smiled in memory, crossing her arms over her chest. “Last year she earned the opportunity to model for a makeup brand at the mall and Mr. Tek wanted to use her to draw some attention to the magazine since her face was all around town for a while. I told her it was up to her and I would support whatever she wanted to do. Her main reason for turning him down was that she didn’t want people to think she was calling in favors to her wife, the editor-in-chief of said magazine,” she finished, smiling a bit proudly and shrugging.
“Hmm,” Lai hummed in thought, tongue poking her cheek. “What was the rest of the reason?”
“I’ll let her share that with you if she wants,” Tawan chuckled to herself knowingly.
The other part was that she hated Mr. Tek for how he treated her wife so she would not do him any favors unless Tawan asked her directly.
Lai glared at her throwing some trash out then tried to relax her forehead lines. “Well, it was worth a shot I suppose,” she said mostly to herself.
“Sorry. Ira just wants to earn her way into this world on her own work ethic. I respect it and support her,” Tawan added proudly.
Lai sneakily rolled her eyes as she turned to push in another chair. “You’re a good partner, Tawan,” she said, a bit monotone before turning back to her and forcing another smile.
“Thanks,” Tawan smiled and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Anyways. Hopefully, you two can get a change to speak at the party tomorrow. Make up for yesterday with her being sick.”
Lai nodded and Tawan headed for the door to head back to her office. She watched as Tawan exited, following her through the glass windows until she disappeared into her office.
She was perplexed as to how Tawan and Ira was apparently this perfect match that found each other in this vast world according to everyone in the office. She thought Ira should be with someone who could propel her career, push her to do things that she balked at even if you had to force her. If it meant her fast tracking her career, and especially making up for losing it to motherhood - another thing that still shocks Lai - then it was worth it.
Lai thought that Ira needed to be with her to do these things.
And she was determined to make her see that.