Party Time
Chapter 24: Party Time
“Ready?”
Tawan and Ira had arrived at Mr. Tek's house for the party, still sitting in their Audi as Tawan looked to Ira in the passenger seat and reached over to grab her hand for her attention.
She wanted to make sure that Ira knew they could still go back home if she did not feel up to it. Ira, staring out her window in thought and preparation, looked over to her as soon as their skin made contact. She was jolted back to reality, away from her thoughts, and turned to force her best smile as she placed her other hand on top of theirs.
“Let’s go,” she answered and patted her hand.
Tawan gave her one last look then smiled and nodded before retracting her hand to turn the car off. Ira grabbed her purse and put it in her lap to drop her visor down to look over her makeup one more time. This was ritual for them when they would go out, so Tawan exited the car and rounded it to open her door for her.
As she watched her apply a finishing touch of lipstick, Tawan smiled at how she did seem to be feeling better today. Yesterday, they went out for dinner as a family and spent much of today getting the twins ready to stay with Tawan’s parents for the night. Overall, Ira seemed to be in higher spirits today and looked much better than she had at lunch on Thursday.
Ira zipped up her purse and turned to exit the car, smiling at Tawan as she held her hand out to help her. She looked to the house and grabbed the bottom of her dress - her favorite red, halter top that clung to her curves - near her knee to stretch and smooth it down before swinging her purse over her shoulder.
Tawan gave her own self a once over - nodding her head at her khaki bootcut dress slacks, white shirt, tan pointed-toe heels, and burgundy blazer. She would get to be both comfortable and casually fashionable.
Tawan shot her cuffs out and fixed her wristwatch before straightening her blazer in the reflection of the window of the car after she had closed the door. She was glad anytime she could wear pants and never regretted switching to suits versus dresses for events years ago. Tawan had truly found herself in her style of clothing having recognized that it was the most expressive way she could be herself.
She smiled at her reflection then turned to her wife so they could head in, both smiling at each other before Tawan jokingly made a disgusted face about having to attend the event. Ira giggled as she linked her arms through her right one so she could lead them in.
“We can leave after an hour,” Tawan promised and patted her hands.
“Ice cream and our favorite show?” Ira posited, leaning into her as much as she could.
“Ice cream and our favorite show on the couch in our corner,” Tawan promised and nodded.
Ira smiled and laid her head on her broad shoulder as she rang the doorbell for them. As she felt the rush of anticipation from what waited on the other side of the door, she squeezed Tawan’s arm for comfort and safety.
Tawan turned her head, studying what part of her she could see in their embrace, then kissed near the crown of her head before resting the side of her head there like a hug. Sometimes all Ira needed was a touch of some kind from her to feel better or recharge herself. The absolute last place both women wanted to be was here, unbeknownst to them for different reasons.
“Tawan! Ira!” Mr. Tek greeted and ushered them in. He showed Ira the closet where she could store her purse before leading them towards the sounds of people.
The sounds of the party humming in the grand living room down the hall where everyone was mingling and enjoying various cocktails and drinks from the open bar that Mr. Tek had hired made its way up to them. He waved for them to follow him and they walked behind a few steps so they could re-familiarize themselves with the layout of his house again. It had been a little over a year since they were last there for his birthday party he threw for himself.
As they got closer to everyone, Ira felt an impending doom in the pit of her stomach and it made her slide her hand down Tawan’s arm to hold her hand which Tawan squeezed as she looked at some paintings she passed by.
“There’s the perfect couple,” Meena announced and waved them over.
Everyone laughed and waved as they entered the room to head towards her, returning everyone's greetings as they weaved through the small groups.
Meena was by the fireplace scrolling through her phone and nodding along as one of her team members spoke to her. Tawan approached her and smiled while Ira was trying to not scan the room for her threat. Meena nodded at her team member then quickly shooed the girl off knowing that Tawan would reprimand them.
“I thought we said no work,” Tawan said and eyed her.
“She was just telling me I needed to look at Instagram for something and now I’m done. See,” Meena informed, raising her phone to show her then putting it in her back pocket.
“Yeah, sure,” Tawan chuckled and looked at her drink. “Is that why everyone seems to be able to stomach being here right now on a Saturday?”
“You have no idea,” Meena muttered into her drink.
Tawan gave a short laugh then looked to Ira when she noticed she was not paying attention. Ira was looking over both her shoulders around the room as if she was expecting something to happen. Her hands were a little clammy in Tawan’s, so she moved to link their arms again but Tawan stopped her. She looked to their hands then to Tawan a little quizzically and was met with a concerned look again.
Ira forced her best smile for what felt like the millionth time as she moved again to thread their fingers together and shook her head at her.
“I want a drink,” she said and placed her chin on her shoulder.
“You sure?” Tawan asked, angling to look at her.
“Of course she’s sure,” Meena answered and shooed her so she could hug Ira.
Ira genuinely laughed at her as she accepted her greeting and squeezed her to herself in thanks. Tawan scratched her head, debating herself if she should, so Ira turned her around and placed her hands on her shoulders so she could lean to her ear to tell her what she wanted. Tawan nodded in acknowledgement but still made no attempt to move, so Ira chuckled and slid her hands down to the sides of her thighs to pat to make her go.
Meena laughed as Tawan tentatively walked away, throwing a look at them over her shoulder as she disappeared from their view.
“We need to get her drunk,” Meena mused. “If I didn’t have those last minute errands to run today then we would have pre-gamed.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll work on that,” Ira said and winked, body relaxing as things settled.
“You look amazing as always,” Meena said and clapped her hands as she looked her up and down. “Are those the YSL's from our last issue?”
Ira smirked and turned halfway from her to look at her over her shoulder and raise her leg to show her heels off. They were a gift from Tawan after she reviewed them, sometimes occasionally writing stories for the magazine to keep her writing skills up to date. She missed journalism and writing, so she would dabble in their hot topic sections after interviewing insiders or Ira about what people were talking about.
Tawan was covering fashion trends for that month when she stumbled across the heels and thought Ira would look fantastic in them. Granted, there was a little selfish thinking one her part of having the pleasure of staring at her legs walking in them, she also wanted to congratulate her for her hard work the last few months.
“Tawan got them for me,” she boasted, twirling fully back around to her.
“Gorgeous!” Meena praised again.
Meena asked about the twins and Ira smiled brightly as she caught her up on them since the last time they spoke. Tawan returned with her drink and hesitated passing it to her, eyes darting to Ira’s stomach a little uneasily. Ira ignored her, knowing that if she asked then she knew it would consume their night.
Despite the circumstances, Ira knew she needed to loosen up some or else she would barely make it through the night and that included easing her wife’s mind so she could also relax.
“Thank you, babe,” Ira smiled and kissed her cheek. She grabbed her drink from her and took a few sips.
Tawan watched her to make sure she was being genuine and not trying to appease her for attending her work function. Ira, again, ignored her and linked her unoccupied arm through hers again so she could turn their attention to Meena who was watching them in amusement. Those who shared space with them always bore witness to their dynamic, how they always had a way of communicating with each other without speaking.
Their chemistry was as if they only existed in a bubble.
The girls started their conversation back up and Tawan finally looked away after a moment. Ira was feeling that all too familiar feeling of a numbing, creeping sensation from the base of her spine up to her neck. Her nerves loosened and her brain started compiling her thoughts together so that she could outpace those she spoke with. She was an animate talker who used her hands a lot for emphasis, something that Tawan found so endearing and would stare at the same as she spoke.
The party technically still had not started yet as this was the cocktail hour, so everyone was taking advantage of forgetting the work week with alcohol. Tawan knew this could be a long night if Ira was feeling better and could maintain the duration of the party, so she nursed her whiskey. She would let Ira have fun tonight and that was more than enough for her to enjoy herself.
Not to mention, Ira was very touchy-feely when she drank so the night could also end well within her favor when they got home.
Ira finished her drink and Tawan offered to grab her and Meena another one as dinner time approached. They thanked her as she traded her whiskey glass to Ira in exchange for their empty glasses. Tawan returned quickly as the line was short for the first time that night and she handed them their drinks and took hers back to sip.
Tawan asked Meena something about her cat while Ira ran her fingers down the back of her hair, removing it from her shoulders. Ira smiled as she watched her speak, playing with the ends of her hair for a moment. Satisfied after inspecting her one more time, she then moved to hold her by her waist, hand cupping her hip bone as she sipped her drink.
“Looks like the guest of the hour finally showed up,” Meena teased and motioned to behind them.
Tawan turned her head to look, raising her hand to Lai in greeting as did the others. Lai was looking their way as she talked to Mr. Tek, staring past everyone and everything to try to lock Ira’s gaze. Ira ignored her, trying to refrain from rolling her eyes as she took a sip of her drink, and kept her attention on the empty fireplace.
Tawan turned back to Meena to continue where they left off, and Ira tried to focus on them to calm her racing heart. She noticed from the corner of her eye what looked like Lai making her way towards them, so she abruptly turned to Tawan to tug on her arm.
“I’ll be back,” Ira told her and kissed her cheek, handing her, her glass. “I need to use the restroom.”
“You remember where it's at?” Tawan asked.
Ira nodded assuredly, hoping her memory served her right, then kissed her cheek again before exiting. Just as she walked in the opposite direction, Lai approached their group and stuffed her hands deep in her pockets trying to hide her frustration. Meena watched her eyes follow Ira and took it as something else, so she informed her that Ira was heading to the restroom.
Tawan stepped aside, not having noticed her approaching, and made room for her to join them. Lai gave her a tight smile, trying to not stare off to where she ran off to, and tried to pay attention to their conversation.
This would not deter her from her earlier stated mission.
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dinner started not too long after Ira returned from the restroom, thankful that Lai was pulled away from their group so Mr. Tek could introduce her to some of his investor friends. She was even more thankful that Mr. Tek made Lai sit by him on one end of the table for dinner while they sat at the other end with Meena and her team.
They were mostly the younger employees of the office which Ira thrived with because of her youthfulness and ability to keep up with trends. They absolutely adored her and watched starstruck as she talked about Paris and the things she learned from others in the industry.
Tawan finished her food rather quickly since she did not have much to eat all day since just after noon due to them being busy getting their children situated for the night at their grandparents. She leaned back into her chair, her arm resting on the back of Ira’s while her other hand rested in her lap, and crossed her legs at the knees. She watched, smiling adoringly and affectionately, as her wife charmed her coworkers.
Ira was talking excitedly with her hands as she recounted a dinner conversation with a luxury brand representative. Tawan had started the conversation mostly to brag about her but the others were now hanging on to her every word. This was the same magic that got so many people to reach out to Ira during and after Paris.
Lai was not paying much attention to anything Mr. Tek or the others were saying. In fact, she had not really touched much of her food and was sipping her vodka cranberry as she looked down at the other end of the table. If Ira was ignoring her then she was doing a great job of acting like she was unbothered by her presence. This made her blood boil, especially the way she would lean into Tawan’s side or make a face of wonder at her like she just discovered her for the first time.
“She’s being modest,” Tawan laughed and gently grabbed her bicep. She squeezed it, something she enjoyed to do as her way of showing affection.
Ira placed her hand on Tawan’s crossed thigh to rest it there. “It’s not like I signed a contract right there or anything,” she reminded, resting into her side for warmth.
“He gave Mali his personal number,” Tawan bragged to them, stretching her arm a little more along the back of her chair.
“We’ll see,” Ira relented a bit, amused as she rolled her eyes.
“Do you guys know anyone who has a VIPs personal phone number from Versace?” Tawan posed to their group.
They all mumbled a negative and Ira looked away from them with a small blush. Tawan laughed heartily and hugged her to her side to kiss her head knowing she had been proven right. Ira rolled her eyes again, a shy smile and pout on her lips.
The reason she was reacting like this is because she was a little superstitious about wanting something so bad and talking about it as if it was secured without really knowing if it indeed was safely secured. This was the biggest interaction she had with a major luxury brand, and it also happened to be one of her favorites, too.
“She’s right,” Meena agreed, face a little flush as she sipped her drink. “He must have really liked you.”
“And she did most of the talking so she basically walked herself into a deal,” Tawan boasted again, chest a little puffed out.
“Darling,” Ira whispered a little embarrassed. “We don’t know that.”
“Speaking it into existence, my love,” Tawan said so surely and looked to the table for support. They all nodded and chirped positively at her, some with unmistakable industry experienced glances.
Ira was glad that Mr. Tek stood to announce that the catering service he had hired was now preparing some desserts and that the bar was still open as dinner wrapped up.
Everyone stood to head back to the grand living room to end the night, and Ira grabbed Tawan’s hand so she could lead them back to their earlier spot by the fireplace. She only had three drinks, but they were strong and she did not trust herself to walk alone in heels without Tawan’s support and guidance. Besides, she loved feeling her arm muscles flex under her touch as she talked and occasionally squeezed her hand.
“Do you want another drink?” Tawan asked, placing a hand at the small of her back.
“Um, no thanks. Not right now,” Ira answered, smiling as she flashed her glass to her.
Tawan smiled and nodded before joining back in on the conversation her and Meena were having with some of their coworkers.
One of the younger employees tapped Ira on the shoulder and she turned to them to smile as they asked about some more stories from her trip to Paris. Ira lit up at their genuine curiosity, so she moved to stand behind Tawan to not interrupt their conversation or distract either group talking so close in proximity. Tawan smiled when she felt Ira’s side press into the small of her back then her arm snake around her waist to hold her from behind, her hand at her stomach moving just as animatedly as she held her.
The night was going well for all intents and purposes, and Ira started to relax some more feeling like she was in control of things. She almost forgot that Lai was sharing the same space as her what with her being so engrossed by those around her and focusing on Tawan’s touch to keep her grounded. It also worked in her favor that Mr. Tek seemed to keep Lai by his side as he picked her brain and introduced her to a few of his business partners he had also invited over.
Even though she knew that Lai’s eyes were following her, Ira felt like she was in control of what she could control.
Another distraction was that Ira felt like some cool celebrity with the way people wanted to speak about her work in Paris and the way her audience held on to her every word, some having followed her along on social media for her adventure. Her conversation with Tawan that night under the moon with wine came to mind and she smiled at how her wife was such a prosperous visionary and especially for her.
She grinned into her drink feeling even more encouraged by all of Tawan's coworkers.
Ira felt Tawan’s stomach muscles engage when she laughed at something and involuntarily scratched her fingers there gently as she sipped her drink. Tawan, not missing a beat in her talking, instinctively reached her unoccupied hand up to hers to hold there so she would not remove it. She interlocked their fingers and rested on one leg as she took a sip of her whiskey while listening to Meena talk. Ira smiled at the gesture as she headed towards wrapping up her conversation with her group.
Minutes later, Ira leaned from behind to her wife’s ear. “I’m going to go see what they have for dessert. Do you want anything?” She asked and kissed behind her ear.
Tawan shook her head as she turned her head to her. “Just you right now,” she answered and wiggled her eyebrows devilishly.
Ira rolled her eyes in amusement and released her. “Tonight if you can keep up,” she promised with a seductive smirk and glint in her eyes.
Ira laughed at the low groan only she could hear and the ripple she always spotted through Tawan’s body. She grabbed her chin to kiss the corner of her mouth then headed to a table in a separate area of the room that held an array of desserts. Ira had been disciplined with her diet and exercise these last few months, so she felt she had earned herself a little treat. She was not as nearly as committed as Tawan but enough to maintain her figure in a healthy way.
In fact, she had to be more disciplined because Tawan tended to be the one who would meal cheat and would rope her in with her.
“You can’t ignore me all night.”
Ira’s blood ran cold as her hand froze over some chocolate cake she was attempting to take. The sound left the room and she swallowed hard, closing her eyes tightly and hoping it was a ghost that was speaking to her. She felt someone walk up beside her and she closed her hand to lower it and stepped away, crossing her arms under her chest as if to protect herself.
She slowly opened her eyes and did not even bother looking to see who had joined her as they were now the only two people in the area. Ira ignored her as she looked around to make sure they were really alone.
“Ira,” Lai greeted, watching her for a reaction.
Ira smiled ruefully and shook her head in annoyance, stepping again to give them a little over an arms length of space. As much fun as she was having despite the person next to her occupying the same breathing air as her tonight, she knew this was a matter of time. Better it be at the end of the night then at the beginning and having to suffer through the rest of the event.
Ira started to grow irritated as she could feel Lai staring at her, mostly because she knew she was looking her up and down like a piece of meat.
“Don’t talk to me as if everything between us is fine,” Ira seethed lowly, loud enough for her to hear.
“I thought we moved on from that,” Lai said and took a drink of her vodka cranberry.
“Of course you thought that,” Ira spat angrily and moved to the other side of the table. She wanted to keep her eyes on the entrance.
“I don’t want to argue with you,” Lai told her, frustration tinging her tone. “I want to talk about-,”
“Fuck you,” Ira growled and looked her in the eyes finally. Ten years of pent up anger, hurt, shame and so much more was bursting like a geyser from her.
“Don’t talk to me like that,” Lai warned chillingly, raising her glass to point a finger at her.
Ira ignored the tingle up her spine and dug in. “Do you think I’m stupid? You just happen to accept a job where my wife is the boss?” She challenged and narrowed her eyes.
“If you would let me explai-,”
“Explain what?! I told you I never wanted to see you again.”
“And I told you I was sorry and that I wouldn’t give up on us.”
“Dammit, there is no ‘us’! You left for work and I was finally free of you. It’s been ten years. End of discussion.”
“That’s not true. You know I never really left you.”
“You’re right! I left you. Then, thankfully, you took a job in New York and never once graced my mind again until I saw you a few days ago.”
“My father made me take that job.”
“Either way, you should have stayed there or wherever you were at before this last week.”
“Ira, you know, you can be really cruel sometimes. Your attitude is not needed,” Lai warned again, scoffing impatiently.
“Then leave, Rain,” Ira huffed, irritated as she uncrossed her arms to point behind her. “Oh, wait. Sorry. Lai.”
Lai scoffed and rolled her eyes, smiling incredulously as she took a large drink from her glass. Ira’s face was twisted in anger and she had to dig to the deepest parts of her resolve to control herself as she felt her boiling point being reached. Just like she remembered, exactly what she knew would happen, Lai was acting as if everything between them was okay and there were no issues.
It made her hate her more than she previously thought, something she thought was impossible as she would not even pour water on Lai if she was on fire.
“I think about you all the time,” Lai pressed, piercing her with her stare.
Ira hissed in irritation and averted her gaze. “I don’t think about you at all,” she responded sourly.
“I still love you, Ira,” Lai insisted and stepped to her. She was on her third or fourth drink, she could not remember, and it was making her bolder than usual at a work function.
Ira raised her hand and stepped away. “Don’t. I’m warning you,” she promised, pointing her finger at her.
Lai turned from her and stepped back in frustration. “If you don’t love me then why are you keeping me a secret from Tawan?” She asked finally, smiling in challenge.
Ira glared at her in hopes of setting her on fire. “Don’t flatter yourself. It's you I don’t trust,” she scoffed.
“Or you’re afraid of how she will react?” Lai baited and stared her down.
“She would kill you if she found out how you used to treat me,” Ira stated assuredly, ignoring what she actually meant.
“She can try,” Lai threatened, trying to get a rise.
Ira almost fell into it as she stepped around the table like she was going to charge her, but, luckily, she caught herself at the last second and bit down hard to not drive her fist into her smug face. Lai was a bit intrigued by her boldness so she waited, not moving a muscle in hopes she would come at her so she could touch her once again.
Despite how hurt she was by Ira’s words, Lai’s feelings remained unchanged. The only reason why she left on her father’s orders and stayed gone this long was because of her parents pressures and she wanted to establish herself to one day come back and sweep Ira off her feet. There was also the fact that she thought some time apart would make Ira see reason to forgive her and forget about their last encounter so they could try again.
All in all, life just became too busy and demanding that Lai kept pushing her return off.
"Don't you ever threaten my wife again," Ira warned icily, pointing her finger at her and staring her down.
Lai scoffed and rolled her eyes bitterly. “Everything I have done up until now is for you,” she continued, frustrated as she pointed her drink at her.
Ira rolled her eyes then closed them as her body rippled with disgust and anger in response at her still not getting it after all this time. She did not expect her or her ways to have changed much, but this was even less than what she had anticipated. It made her fists clenched at her sides shake, and she had to dig deep within herself to not scream at her.
Lai, however, continued undeterred.
“I can really give you the world now, Ira, so much more than I could even back then. I can have you modeling for Gucci, Prada, Louis-,”
“I already have my world!” Ira cut her off roughly, chest rising and falling. “I have everything I want, every need is met. I am a happily married mother of two children. Tawan is my world, she gives me the world. It's always her and our children.”
Lai looked away from her in both disgust and hurt, practically slamming her glass down on the table. Ira opened her mouth to cut her down further, but a warning flashed in her mind. She thought about her earlier conversation with Mali about being careful and not poking the bear.
Thankfully, she reigned in all of her strength and clamped her mouth closed, closing her eyes to focus on the goal she had set for herself. If she made Lai too angry then it could turn into a dangerous situation and she would also never get out of her what she thought was more important than petty arguments. Her mission was to figure out why she was here so she could be better equipped to fulfill her goal of letting Tawan in on all of this.
“Why are you here?” Ira asked breathlessly, tired of this back and forth.
Lai could see this was the only thing that made Ira speak to her. She would have never acknowledged her if she was not trying to get to the bottom of why she was suddenly back in her life. This was the only ammo she had against Ira, and she also knew that she was terrified of her intentions.
She had waited with bated breath for Tawan to return from lunch that day to see her reaction of finding out she used to date her wife. When she acted no differently, Lai knew that Ira was keeping their past a secret from her wife. It was also why she never pressed the issue with Tawan, something she noted she could also use as ammo.
As much as she wanted to piss Tawan off for pissing her off for having the life she felt she should have with Ira, she knew she had to play the long game if she wanted to get Ira back.
“Fuck this,” Lai said and picked her drink up to finish it.
“So now you have nothing to say?” Ira laughed, humorless, and threw her hands up.
“You think I’m that terrible of a person,” Lai feigned hurt and slid the glass across the table.
“Why are you here?” Ira pressed tiredly again, frustrated tears forming.
“Mr Tek hired me for a job,” Lai answered and averted her gaze. She stuck her hands deep in her pockets and shrugged innocently.
“Bullshit,” Ira pressed and raised her hand at her. “Don’t lie to me. You just didn’t show up by accident.”
“Maybe its fate,” Lai surmised.
“There’s no such thing for us,” Ira told her.
“Then coincidence,” Lai continued.
“Alright,” Ira huffed and eyed the exit. “I’m done with this bullshit.”
Lai reached out to grab her bicep to stop her, but Ira flinched away and raised her fist at her in defense which made her quickly retract her hand. She scratched her forehead then pinched the bridge of her nose as she took a few steps back to give Ira space. Lai cursed herself and opened her mouth a few times but the words never came.
Ira dropped her hand to her side in frustration with herself for letting her get a reaction like that from her. She wanted to avoid letting her see how much control she could have over her. The more power she gave Lai, the more she felt like she was back under her thumb.
“Stay away from me and my family,” Ira warned, trying to hide the underlying threat and shake in her voice.
Lai bit back a response as she watched her walk away before turning around and kicking the air.
Ira, still shaking, tried to hide her emotions as she hurriedly weaved her way back to Tawan who was intently listening to Meena speak. She resumed her earlier positing of holding Tawan from behind around her waist except she pressed her front to her back so she could not see her face.
Her mind and body were still buzzing from finally speaking to Lai and she left not having accomplished much. She still did not know why she was back in her orbit and it started to weigh on her how much more this was getting complicated.
Either she tells Tawan all that she knows now or she keeps pressing on with her earlier stated mission in hopes of getting some more answers to share so as to not mess up things for her at work. The longer she waited, though, the more she knew this would upset Tawan having been in the dark for so long.
“You’re shivering,” Tawan said, putting her hand over hers before turning to her. She grabbed her wife’s shoulders to run her hands up and down her arms to warm her skin.
“It’s a little cold,” Ira half lied and crossed her arms under her chest.
Tawan smiled and removed her blazer so she could drape it over her shoulders. Though it was almost summer weather, Tawan never wasted an opportunity for elegant business attire whether it was a pantsuit, dress shirts, turtlenecks, or long-sleeved collared shirts. Ira was always thankful that Tawan ran hot since she was susceptible to being cold because it meant she would end up in her jacket if she did not have one with her outfit. Tawan would plan her outfits around Ira’s after being out a few times without a jacket and not being able to comfort her.
Ira just wished it was actually fully the weather that caused her to shake.
“Better?” Tawan asked and flicked her hair out of the back of the coat for her.
“Thank you,” Ira smiled some and slipped her arms through the sleeves.
Tawan thought she looked tired and cupped her cheek to make her look at her. Ira took a second before she settled her watery eyes on her. Tawan opened her mouth but Ira immediately shook her head and exhaled as she removed her hand to hold with both of hers between them.
Ira wanted so badly in that moment to tell Tawan about what just happened, knowing she would immediately protect and defend her, but she was paralyzed by the feeling she still felt of that now was not the right time. She felt she just needed a little more time to figure this out before she shared this dark part of her life with Tawan, and especially now that it could potentially threaten her professional life.
She also did not want to admit that she was still running from that part of her past and she did not want others to be burdened by it either. Ira knew that Tawan loved her unconditionally and without bounds, but this was something she never wanted to bring up until the day she died.
She had so many reasons why.
“Can we go home? I’m getting tired,” Ira asked, tucking her lips in her mouth.
“Of course. What happened?” Tawan asked gently, bringing her other hand up to caress her cheek with her thumb.
Ira racked her brain and grabbed her wrist. “They didn’t have any chocolate cake,” she lied and pouted for emphasis.
Tawan looked at her quizzically and in amusement. “Okay. We might have time to pick up something on the way home,” she chuckled, dropping her hold to look at her watch. This was confirmation for her that her wife was about to start her period with her typical mood swings and chocolate cravings.
Ira smiled, but it did not reach her eyes and Tawan took that as a sign that it was time to go. She turned to bid her goodbyes on their behalf to Meena, Ira stepping around to hug her as Tawan moved to say goodbye to the others around them. Tawan reached her hand behind her as she waved to a few people and Ira’s hand instinctively magnetized to it so she could lead them out.
They had to pass by Mr. Tek and Lai on the way out, so Ira gave a curt nod and avoided eye contact with both of them as Tawan thanked him and told them both bye.
Ira latched on to Tawan’s left arm as they headed for her purse then the exit while Tawan asked her where she wanted to stop for sweets. She shrugged in thought before deciding that she would rather just go home and eat the ice cream from the freezer. Tawan nodded as she unlocked their car and opened her door for her to help her slide in. Once they were both inside, Tawan put her seatbelt on then started up the car to get them home for some much needed alone time.
Ira was starting to feel safe from harm now that they were by themselves again.
“I love you,” Ira said as she grabbed her hand to hold.
Tawan backed them up then pulled off. “I love you more. Thank you for coming with me. I know you don’t feel 100% right now,” she smiled to her then kissed her hand.
Ira shook her head at her dismissively. “I’ll do anything for you. You know that, right?” She asked, an underlying meaning for herself.
“Of course, I do. Just like you know I will always do the same for you,” Tawan stated, raising their joined hands on the console to press her lips to them. She looked between the road and her wife as she nodded back.
Ira let her seat back some and rested her head against the headrest, closing her eyes and focusing on Tawan’s lips on her hand. Despite feeling unproductive in her mission, she was reminded of her reason to keep fighting.