Me and Boq
Glinda sits in her pretty pink princess room, carefully planning out each detail for her wedding with Fiyero. Does she want to? No. Something has been eating away at her happiness since her “best” friend left Oz, not that she wants to admit it.
You see, back at Shiz, Elphaba and Glinda had something special going on. After the strange event at the Oz Dust Ballroom, they made out (in their room obviously). This happened many times after that. MANY times. However, nobody could find out about the shenanigans that were occurring behind those doors. Especially Fiyero. Thus, their make-out sessions had to come to an end. (oh nooooo!)
Glinda’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a strange thumping sound coming from outside her room. Scared, she creeps towards the door, listening closely. However, it swung open to reveal ELPHABA THROPP, her ex make-out partner, standing over her.
“Elphie? Is that really you?”
Elphaba pulled Glinda in for a make-out session, just like the old times. With this sudden movement, they fell onto the floor. This didn’t bother them, as they just kept smooching.
Little did they know… FIYERO was peeking at them from behind the door, heartbroken at the fact that his girlfriend and fiancé were both cheating on him. WITH EACHOTHER!!!
Distraught, Fiyero knows exactly what he must do next. Sing about his developing hatred for women.
“Why must women be so heartless
Why must women be so cruel
Breaking the hearts of the innocent
Making me look like a FOOL!!!
I no longer carry feelings for women
All they do is kiss other women
I guess now I have no choice
I must turn to the men”
(WHAT A BANGER)
Realizing that as Elphaba pulled Glinda in, she dropped her broomstick. He picks it up in one swift motion and flies away, never to look back at the awful life full of lies left behind in the Emerald City. Flying over the land, he suddenly comes up with an idea. Now that the women were out of the way, he could finally face his true feelings for Boq Woodsman, the small, ginger munchkin boy from Shiz.
However, there was one small problem. He was being held captive by the evil wicked witch of the east, NESSAROSE!!! He knew that if he was to be with Boq forever, he must commit to a sneaky plan to rescue his soon to be boyfriend from the wretched, evil, STINKY, stupid hands of the witch.
Heh… good thing he always brings a fake mustache and a pink princess dress with him everywhere. The perfect disguise!
After taking a quick stop to dress up for his future man, he backflips into the evil witch’s evil lair, only to come face to face with NESSA… UH NESSA….
(He’s got something to confessa reason why well why he showed up here tonight)
“I want your boyfriend!” screams (sexily) sexy hot breathtaking dreamy knight-in-shining-armour pretty-princess mario-ahh awesome great sexy (did i say that already?) scandalocious sexy-beast Fiyero Tigelaar to stinky Nessa.
“No! He is mine!” She responds with a cackle. (evil shit)
“But I love Fiyero…” Boq says with a sigh.
Fiyero smirks, right before he throws ONE HUNDRED PUNCHES AND KICKS at stinky Nessa witch, killing her. (Who needs a house when you have sexy Fiyero prince).
“Oh my golly gosh!” Boq exclaims spongely, “You are so sexy and hot. Take me away!”
“Where to?” Fiyero responds with his sexy British accent.
“To my REAL hometown… BIKINI BOTTOM!”
“Wait… You’re THE Spongeboq?” Fiyero gasps, realising his now steamy hot boyfriend is actually the missing king of Bikini Bottom.
“Why yes I am…” Spongeboq smirks.
“TO BIKINI BOTTOM!” they scream in unison as they fly away on the broomstick, Fiyero holding Boq bridal style.
Oh but it doesn’t end here….