Loki and The Past
Dear Mr. Snuffles,
How are you and Mr.Wolf doing? Fourth year started with a bang as usual, well, usual for me anyway. We’re hosting the triwizard tournament this year, completely idiotic if you ask me, and everyone in Gryffindor was so riled up the first years were scared stiffless!
All the Best,
Bambi
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When Lily finally falls pregnant, James isn’t so much happy as he is terrified.
He’s going to be a father. He’ll have an heir, a son to raise and love so much it hurts. A son he can teach to ride a broom, become an animagus.
A baby, a frail little life that will depend solely on him and his lovely Lily Flower. A son he can’t protect from Voldemort because he can’t leave. Won’t abandon the world his son belongs to, won’t at least try to fight.
When the time comes James sits with Sirius in the plush waiting room of St Mungo's. They have fine calming potions in hand and glasses of butterbeer at their elbows, far removed from the delivery room after Lily got irritated with their pacing.
“Lord Potter.” The mediwizard looks tired, grim faced with exhaustion but ultimately pleased. “Congratulations sir, you have a beautiful, healthy new daughter.
“Wha-?” Sirius hisses out a shocked sound beside him that James distantly hears himself echo.
There’s a long beat of silence before James moves to follow the mediwizard, Sirius following a second later. A daughter. Not a son, not a Harry James Potter. Merlin. There hasn’t been a female potter in centuries.
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Dear Mr.Snuffles,
It’s closer to Halloween now, it’s already setting me on edge. Something always goes wrong on Halloween, first Papa-… I’m tired Snuffles, Hermione and Ron are already fighting.
Fred and George are still pranking everyone in sight. It’s the best. I even set something up in the Great Hall that gave the Ravenclaws wings for hours. Flitwick has taken to ‘glaring’ at me but I saw his smile, he won’t get one over me!
All the Best,
Bambi
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Evelyn Lorelai Potter is born wailing, a small bundle of flailing limbs, thick red hair, and too green eyes that has Lily’s own paling in comparison.
She screams and cries and the healers can’t calm her down, can’t get her settled and sleeping in her mother’s arms.
Evelyn as a newborn knows there’s something missing, knows she needs to scream and scream and scream until her lungs feel fit to burst so that the whole world can hear her, so that her missing thing can’t ignore her.
She sets something in motion that night that takes the rest of her life to come to fruition.
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Dear Padfoot,
The goblet called my name.
Bambi
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James looks at his daughter once, red faced and wrinkly, and falls in love. Is completely enamoured by Lily’s hair and his cheekbones on his sweet girl. She’s still wailing in Lily’s arms, and James doesn’t think he could love anything more in the world.
He plucks his baby girl up from Lily and cradles her to his chest just above his heart. “Shhh, sweetling. Papa’s here.”
Like magic, Evelyn quiets, blinking up at him with green eyes, familiar but not. Sirius peers over his shoulder and James knows his brother in all but blood has fallen in love as well. Will protect his baby girl just as fiercely.
He looks to his wife and can’t help but smile. This is his family.
His home.
-
High pitched laughter.
A flash of green light
A fraying thread.
James dies and-
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Dear Padfoot,
The first task is Dragons. Fire-breathing, human-munching Dragons. Ron is still ignoring me, and Hermione doesn’t want to choose sides. I think something’s wrong with Luna as well. She hasn’t looked me in the eye since the day my name came out. When she does look at me it’s with this sad frown , like I’m already dead.
I’m scared.
Love,
Bambi
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His daughter is a … strange baby.
Already using accidental magic like she was born to, (which James thinks maybe she was), chaos follows his little Evie like it did him, happily. Unsurprisingly, so did fire.
Snakes, and oh dear god how did he forget about the pesky buggers, flock to Evie like she’s a basilisk made-human. Slipping into the house any way they can just to bask in her presence.
James takes each and every one of them back outside hissing. Never says a word to anyone while Evie watches on with familiar but not eyes.
“Trickster.” They hiss. “Silvertongue.”
James pretends they don’t, because he desperately wants to hold onto this happy mortallife. He needs more time, he will always need more time.
Sirius has that same desperation, silver would-be blue eyes, looking at everything like it could disappear. Thor, Jame’s mind whispers, ThorThorThorTh-.
And James ignores that too.
-
High pitched laughter.
A flash of green light.
A fraying thread.
James burns and Loki is-
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Dear Padfoot,
The dragon bowed to me.
I think the Dursleys were right, I’ll always be a freak, no matter how much I try.
I miss you.
Love,
Your Bambi
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A month before Evie’s first birthday, James comes home early enough to catch Lily and Evie dancing in the kitchen, their hair down and flowing around them. He leans against the doorway, lips twitching. Watching his girls always a lift to his spirits.
Lily, radiant as always, grins at him, and James laughs at the pout Evie pulls when she realizes Lily isn’t paying attention anymore.
Evie tugs at Lily’s shirt, the epitome of an annoyed baby deer. “Mama. Mama pway.”
His Lily flower laughs in delight, and James isn’t far behind. He swoops his baby into his arms and twirls her around. Heart warming even further when Evie squeals, devolving into a giggling mess.
They celebrate with ice cream later, sticky handed and high on their own joy, and James can’t stop the smile that adorns his face all night.
He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.
-
High pitched laughter.
His girls scream.
A flash of green light.
A snapped thread and a new one in its place.
James burns and Loki is born anew.
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Dear Paddy,
I watched Cedric die yesterday, he asked me to take his body back. Voldemort used my blood to come back, did you know Paddy? My blood is his now, we’re family.
I killed the Traitor, did you know Paddy? I killed him for you, burned him up from the inside out. Now we’re both murderers. Did you laugh when you cut down the Death Eaters? Like I did?
Voldemort was proud. He called it the Black Madness.
I hate him.
I love you,
Your Bambi
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Thor.
Thor- Sirius- Protect her.
Keep her Safe.
Forgive me.
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Dear Bambi,
Yes.
I miss you.
I love you.
Your Paddy