Sibling Secrets
*****
“You realize they’re going to pester me into telling them whatever secrets I’ve still got now, right?” Harry demanded as soon as the door slipped shut, leaving him alone with his sister’s face in his mirror.
“No, they won’t,” she denied, shaking her head at him in exasperation. “In asking, I reminded them that they’ve got secrets they don’t want anyone knowing either, so they’ll respect your privacy. And if you never tell anyone, that’s your prerogative. I really just wanted to see how you’re doing, kiddo. Today was always going to be hard on you, even if you agreed to it. How’d the cleaning go?”
Harry knew she was trying to be distracting, to get him to relax before answering, and he was starting to appreciate that part of his sister. She never pushed if he made it clear he didn’t want to talk about it. But she never judged when he did. Only listened then tried to provide solutions. It made him wonder if it was a strictly Arianna trait or a Hufflepuff trait. If the latter, he was severely misjudging the whole house and would need to fix that over his last few years at Hogwarts. If they let him after Cedric…
“Dreadful,” he finally said, trying to push his thoughts away from flashes of green and a cold voice. “Absolutely dreadful…. Mrs. Weasley wants to throw everything out and kill all the ‘pests’…. As if the poor Doxys mean to infest the drapes…. Finally convinced her to just paralyze them and relocate them but that took some doing. And the holster was the only reason I didn’t end up poisoned a few times. Kreacher and Dobby are doing their best to get everything out of the rubbish, but she’s bound and determined to clear everything.”
It positively made his blood boil for the woman to take such liberties with property that was not hers, capitalizing on Sirius’ frequent trips to throw things out when he was gone. But he bit his lips and allowed it, falling back on his recent training to contain his temper. It helped that the pair of elves were able to retrieve everything that was not actual rubbish left over from a decade of abandonment as part of the ongoing Recall. Sirius had assured him that it was almost done and the Goblins were only really keeping the Black one going on record to deal with the constant purging Molly was doing. And tracking down some well hidden pieces that were proving difficult to obtain.
Harry was not looking forward to reviewing the results of his own Recalls. He’d already spent a good chunk of time, before heading to Grimmauld, simply learning about the various investments, vaults, and such he now held and the goblins were making good progress on his requests for consolidated and inventoried vaults. They were also looking at unsealing some of his properties over the Yule break so the house elves they were planning on bonding soon would have time to get the properties up to snuff. The rate at which his life had changed was both astonishing and frightening and he knew that was part of why Arianna had insisted on a proper talk.
“Sounds like a right horrible afternoon. Just the sort of situation that deserves either an apology for having to deal with it or a reward for dealing with it so well,” Arianna said with a smirk.
“Well, I’m always up for a reward,” Harry said with a laugh. “If it gets me out of the serious talk for a bit longer, I’m all for it.”
“Since I know you already understand that if you truly didn’t want to talk about it, I’d respect that, I’ll ignore the cheek and tell you to check your box,” she said with a smile.
He laughed and set about setting the mirror down carefully in the small stand Sirius had transfigured for it, so she could still see the room and he could have his hands free. He pulled the message box out from its hiding place in the hidden compartment between his mattress and headboard and opened it cautiously. Inside was a small box and he pulled it out quickly, pressing the message box back into its slot by habit. The box was wrapped fairly frighteningly garnish and he smiled at the muggle wrapping paper. There was glitter involved, though, something he was very thankful the wizarding world hadn’t picked up yet.
Arianna had the nerve to laugh at his grimace when he noticed the trail of sparkling bits now coating his bed.
A quick very underpowered scorify had them disappearing and he smirked evilly at that. Perhaps not so much the spawn of Hel if a simple scorify worked. And perhaps the best thing in the world that the wards at Grimmauld let him do magic without it alerting the Ministry…. He’d never be able to adjust his spell casting before school started without practice. Now that he had access to much more magic, it had taken a number of tries for a lot of spells to keep them looking like his previous abilities. Shaking himself out of his thoughts, he set about opening the box.
Inside was expanded and Harry smirked at the use of the trick the twins had discovered. Then he moved to upend the box onto the bed, only to freeze when Arianna called a warning.
“I wouldn’t!” she said. “There’s enough in there to make that quite the difficult predicament.”
He turned to stare at her in question before turning back to the box. He reached a hesitant hand into the darkness then pulled out a Slinky.
“Really?” he asked in confusion. “A muggle toy?”
“Oh, they may have started as muggle toys, but I had some fun with them,” she denied. “I need a distraction every now and then and pranking has always been a family event. Gets my mind off the endless paperwork and other such nonsense. And I can only bring the adventure groups meals so often before they start expecting it. And Merlin knows I can’t have that. So, pranks! Since the twins have the market on magical ones, I figured, as someone exposed to muggle ways fairly early and with an appreciation for their inventions, I’d take a crack at pranks involving muggle things.”
“Yes, the dyed hair and makeup didn’t give away your love of muggle things,” Harry said with an eye roll.
“Well, who would actually consider it? Magicals always overthink things. Besides, it’s undetectable to the usual reveal spells. Keeps my identity secret for the most part,” she said with a smirk.
“So, bespelled Slinkies?” he asked, wiggling the toy in front of the mirror pointedly.
“Flawless Slinkies,” she said with a wicked grin. “Won’t stop until every stair possible has been successfully slinked and issues a musical tune as they go. Loudly. Now, imagine them on the moving staircases at Hogwarts.”
Harry did for a moment before his eyes lit up in anticipation. “And if we started them in the Astronomy Tower –“
“Or the House towers,” Arianna said with a knowing gleam to her eyes.
Harry was thrilled by this plan. He quickly looked into the box again, but it was too dark inside to see the extent of the extension charms.
“How many?” he asked eagerly.
“Several thousand,” she said, equally eager. “And all playing a different tune. Took ages to pick songs, but eventually, I set a spell to pick one at random from the list.”
Harry cackled at the plans running through his head. And he would of course involve the twins.
“Oh, this will be bloody brilliant,” he howled.
“Just make sure to warn McGonagall,” she said after a minute of mutual laughter. “That poor professor has had two sets of pranking twins and the Marauders to deal with. The least you can do is give her a head’s up. She’s too much of a prankster herself to care, as long as she’s not included in said pranks.”
Harry could actually see that, so he nodded.
“Now, how are you really doing?”
Harry sighed, letting a bit of his good humor die down at the question. But he made sure to show he was seriously thinking before answering so she didn’t offer to shut up before he was ready. When he had his thoughts arranged, he sighed and started speaking.
“I’m nervous for school. I’ve never been particularly trusting, but I’d thought I’d made some good friends. Now I’m worried if I was right about some of them. Ron being a true friend has me worried about the others. My luck has tended towards the opposite being true. I’m terrified that everyone I thought was on my side is actually just using me. And I can’t trust anyone but him to start with anyway. I’m concerned with how people are going to react to the memory of Voldemort’s return. Don’t get me wrong, I still think it needed to be done, but what if no one believes it? What if he still gets ignored and is allowed to grow in strength? I’m terrified of why so many are willing to put their hopes and dreams on my shoulders. I wonder if Dumbledore knew about the horcrux in my head and if he did, why he left it there, knowing there was a good possibility of it poisoning my personality…”
He had really not enjoyed that conversation when they’d finally had it. Severus had been livid and for once, his godfather and potions professor had been on the same page, both vowing retribution on Dumbledore if he’d known. To have a piece of Voldemort’s soul in his head? Existing there for the last fourteen years? It had caused the small part of him hoping Dumbledore was just losing it in his old age to shrivel up and die.
“I’m still trying to figure out what parts of my personality are mine, between the spells, the potions, the horcrux, and simple fucking hormones…. I’m tired of people treating me like a child, especially since, thanks to you, I know how possible it is to keep me focused on important things without leaving me ignorant. I’m sick of people looking at me funny when I react to something in a different way than I would have last year. I hate the whispers being thrown around that I’ve changed and not for the better. I’m terrified that I’m now in the wrong house because the Hat definitely wanted me in Slytherin at first and now I’m not sure if that’s because of who I am, if the Hat was reading Voldemort in my head, or if it’s because I’m the Lord of the house…. I’m just a mess, big sis,” he finished. In truth, he wasn’t even half done with his current list of worries, annoyances, and fears.
And Arianna seemed to sense that, prompting him until he snapped and ranted for a further twenty minutes, ranting about Molly, snarling about Dumbledore, whispering about his marks, laughing about the Twins, bemoaning the paperwork that came with being a Lord and couldn’t be handled by her as Proxy, worrying about the new Defense teacher, hoping for the future. He poured everything out. By the time he was done, he was a sobbing mess and Arianna was forced to send him a few handkerchiefs through his message box, since he had already packed all of his in preparation of her picking him up in a few days. He wouldn’t have time when he returned just to join the Weasleys in heading to King’s Cross.
“Oh, Harry,” she said sadly. “I really wish I could hug you right now. Hugs make everything better.”
“Silly Hufflepuff,” he teased through a wet smile.
“Stupidly proud Gryffindor,” she teased right back, overexaggerating her huff. “But seriously, little brother, none of that is wrong. You have every right to feel that way about every single thing you just said. It’s incredibly unfair that you’re having to deal with so much and I’m working hard to take some of those burdens off your young shoulders. It is so ridiculously stupid that others are placing so much on a fourteen year old-“
“Oi!” he protested.
“Right, sorry, fifteen-year-old. And I know you could deal with it all admirably. I have faith in you, kiddo, but the truth of the matter is that you don’t have to,” she said, gaze so piercing it forced Harry to stare at the mirror instead of trying to get ahold of himself again. “You have people to turn to. And it’s not an issue to rely on us. I speak just for myself but I’m sure many others will agree. We want to help. We want to make your life a little easier. If anyone deserves it more, I’m unaware. You have been so strong already in your short life and so brave. Just hold on a little longer and we’ll have enough wiggle room for you to be safe for a while. To be able to just be a kid. Which is why I feed your prankster tendencies so much. You are far too mature,” she said, drifting into a tease at the end. Harry forced a laugh, but it fell flat and sounded pained. Something Arianna caught with a sigh. “Harry, I love you and I’ll support you however you need. I wasn’t bloviating earlier this summer when I said I’d whisk you away forever if that was your wish. That offer still stands. You just need to give the word.”
Harry spent a few moments seriously contemplating the idea. The thought of simply disappearing in the night, never to be seen again. They could travel the world, find a nice island somewhere and set up a house. If they didn’t already own one. Spend their days exploring a tropical landscape and practicing new spells. Learning new languages whenever they fancied and moving on when they grew bored. Getting a tan. Learning new games and playing Quidditch when they came upon wizarding societies. Eating new delicacies everywhere they went. It sounded good. Imagining it filled him with wonder. But then he thought about his family. The one not blood-related. He thought of Sirius and Remus, heartbroken if they came and heartbroken if they didn’t, family and friends tying them to Britain more firmly than anything. He thought of Ron and the Twins, unwilling to leave their other siblings. He thought of Hermione, struggling to justify staying to finish her schooling and torn at being separated from them. He thought of his parents’ legacy.
And he just couldn’t do it.
He sighed.
“I’ll stay for now,” he said. “But let’s not write the possibility off completely.”
“Never,” she agreed. “Feel better?”
He thought about it for a minute. That was the key with Arianna. She never cared about the answer, only that he actually thought about it and didn’t do the Gryffindor thing and answer automatically. As she’d said earlier, she’d support whatever, as long as he thought about it. It was somewhat freeing to talk with her, to know that no matter what he said, she’d put her full backing to it, with no coercion or ulterior motive. The character trait was sorely lacking among most people he knew, and he would try to remember it when he was at school.
“Yeah, I think I do. Will these mirrors work at Hogwarts?” he finally said.
“They should, but if they don’t, I’ll figure something else out,” she answered promptly. “And we’ve always got the message boxes and Hedwig. I’m sure the poor girl is bored out of her mind with the message boxes taking up a majority of what was once her job.”
The exasperated hoot was answer enough on that and Harry winced in memory of the sharp bites the owl had given when he’d mistakenly shown her his message box and how it worked. She had not been well pleased, and time was not making it any better.
“Based on your expression, I think bored might be an understatement?” He nodded. “Then how about we use the boxes for strictly business or urgent matters, and you send Hedwig to me with letters and such? I’ll see about a bird of my own so I can send you letters and packages as often as I like, without having to request the use of Hedwig.”
He beamed, excited at the idea of a pen pal. Of being able to tell someone not at school absolutely everything he got up to. Sirius and Remus were adults and, as much as he loved them and their sometimes constant state of childishness, he couldn’t tell them some things. Like if he fancied anyone. Or if he was terrified. Or anything really that he’d just poured his heart out to his sister. He didn’t want the teasing that would come from such a display and, while Arianna sometimes did tease, it was never to belittle his feelings. More to try and get him to smile without inadvertently insulting something he’d said. Everyone else could be quite vicious without meaning to.
“Alright, kiddo,” she said with a heavy sigh. “I’ve got to go now. The elves can’t wait any more and I’ve got to get through all of them before I can come get you for yours. As I’ve said before, I’ll try and take on some of the ones from your houses so you’ll have fewer to bond, but I can’t guarantee that, as Heir, I’ll be able to do much. At least this way, you’ll appear the same meek thing Dumbledore is expecting when you arrive at school, without having to fake it. How are your shields coming?”
“Aunt Queenie’s been helping and she says they’re pretty impressive, especially for only being at it a few weeks,” he answered promptly, smiling at the memories of his time working with the American Legitimens. The taste of fresh baked bread would always follow after now, since Uncle Jacob had always provided a fresh batch for their training sessions.
“Good! I will warn you, I asked Severus to continue your training at school, with the cover of remedial potion lessons,” his sister admitted with a slight scowl. “I know you’re not too fond of the man, but he really has changed lately from the obnoxious mean bat I remember. But if he’s too much of a ponse, let me know and we’ll figure something else out. Worse comes to worse, we rat him out to Uncle Reggie. Dumbledore’s too good and I don’t want you in danger. Now, shoo back to bothering Wit and Wile. I’m sure they’ve not managed to make something explode in at least an hour and that just won’t do.”
Harry laughed, his good humor restored quickly. Able to push the fears down a bit, like was common after a discussion with his sister, he quickly ended the mirror call and made his way to do as bid. He’d be able to make it through alright. And if he didn’t, he had a pretty wonderful older sister who would protect him. Storming the castle as a dragon and all.