School Shopping by Marauders
*****
“At least they’re not altering his list to intentionally put him behind or without needed supplies,” the Black lord muttered. “I had feared Dumbles’d try something like that. And Harry’s captain of the Quidditch team so I’ll pick up some of the books James used to help him out…. There’s nothing here for that other than the pin.”
“Shouldn’t you practice talking like me?” Ron asked as he read over Sirius’ shoulder. He’d not honestly looked at the list, since he never really cared for the supplies, and the prefect badge had definitely derailed him enough to forget the list. He didn’t buy them, after all, and he knew nothing about the authors or quality of the books. With so many siblings ahead of him, it wasn’t like he’d offer an opinion that hadn’t already been heard anyway. And Mum’s screeching about having another prefect had caused enough of a scene. He was just happy the twins hadn’t been around to hear her comment…. Since it seemed they didn’t count as family to her then…
“You’re supposedly spending the day with a strange, rich, foreign noble woman that insulted your mum and bustled you away without much care for propriety. Any inconsistencies someone might overhear can easily be explained away as nerves or attempts to sound more ‘cultured’ than you are,” Sirius said as he read. “Who in Merlin’s name picked Defensive Magical Theory? That book is rubbish.”
“We’ll pick it up and pick up some actual books on defense while we’re at it,” Remus said, scribbling notes on a page. Ron had a feeling the former professor was making a list of items he felt they would need and, if Ron was honest, probably already planning lessons if the new DADA professor proved to be as incompetent as all but the shifter himself had been since Ron’d started at Hogwarts. “I have a feeling there’s some of the more standard school books in one of your vaults, Ari, but if the goal is to make this shopping trip seem legitimate, we’ll need to pick them up anyway. Maybe we can donate them or something if we end up finding copies as we sort through.”
“See if you can find a copy of Defense and Vigilance by Percival Graves,” Arianna offered absently as she worked on her own lists, earning some shocked looks.
“The American Auror that was kidnapped by Grindelwald for a while?” Remus asked. Ron was a bit lost on that one, as he’d not known about that.
“He got very effective after that and helped track down Grindelwald so he could face trial. He’s one of the reasons Nurmengard is such an effective prison. He and his husband actually invented a number of spells and such to defend against the kinds of dark magics Grindelwald used on him,” Arianna explained.
The room was silent as she trailed off.
“I read things!” she said defensively when the silence continued a beat too long for comfort.
“I’ll see what I can do,” Remus finally muttered. “But I make no promises. Britain’s a bit backwards when it comes to the States. I’m not sure any shops in Diagon sell American authors.”
Arianna devolved into grumbles, but nodded, promising to buy them a copy via owl order if needed, since she felt the book would do them the most good in effective, but low magic required defense spells. The fact that the book apparently came with pictured instructions, so it was easier to self-teach was a bonus Ron was actually looking forward to. He hated school mostly because he couldn’t stand reading. The words always shifted around for him and no one could seem to understand why. He’d always preferred practical learning and if he could get the proper information in picture format? He might actually succeed the first few tries. If he could improve with a new wand after second year, he had no doubt he could with some different books.
Eir returned a few minutes later with the needed items from the Evans vault and soon, everything was sorted for the trip. Ron had to agree that it was strange seeing and hearing himself walking away with another Arianna courtesy of Polyjuice and a voice mimicking spell he’d never heard of before, but he did not deny he was relieved to avoid the shopping itself. He was not a fan.
He had his doubts Sirius would be able to mimic that hatred, since the man himself was such a clothes horse and typical pureblood when it came to taste, but he hoped Remus would be able to reign him in and remind him he was shopping as Ron. If not, he would have to explain it away as excitement for being able to spend someone else’s money. Or in Arianna spoiling him. Even for having known her for only a few hours, he knew it was well within her habits. He’d about laughed himself sick when he found out she was a Hufflepuff. Until she’d hexed him for laughing at her.
Then he was off for his cleanse. Oh, the things he put up with for his friends.
*****
In the end, Sirius and Remus decided to switch who was playing who, since Sirius couldn’t honestly hide his love of shopping, nor curb his urge to buy presents for people he’d been denied access to for years. The fact that he couldn’t quite hide his unease in the open and would therefore be more believable as a habit from a foreign witch in a new country didn’t have anything to do with it. Remus couldn’t argue against spoiling their pups, though. And the new peck of Weasleys they’d picked up. They passed it off to inquiring ears as a short stop so the Lady Aiaia could speak with a goblin that had been unavailable earlier, waiting until the Polyjuice was fully out of their systems before switching flasks.
Remus ignored the cackling from Arianna when Sirius grumbled about having breasts. Then they were off and quick to finish the trip. Ron had been cleansed easily and, as promised, was only tired, not instantly asleep like the rest of them. He and Arianna spent the time the Marauders were shopping discussing what his concerns were with returning to the Burrow. Remus wanted to suggest an Unbreakable Vow, since the boy didn’t know Occlumency, but he knew it was a risk. If they all took one now, there was no way to remove it once things started coming to light. He was still brooding over options when they went back to Gringotts at the end of the day.
Ragnok just laughed and suggested a Fidelius charm when Remus spoke up.
“That didn’t work so well for James and Lily,” Sirius muttered.
“Yes, but you will be Secret Keeper this time,” Remus growled. “And I have no doubts about your loyalty.”
He agreed and the goblins set up the ritual quickly, anchoring it to the room they were in with the understanding that it would act as a safe space for them moving forward. Eir had just waved their protests away with a blunt reminder that between the eight of them, they were heirs or heads of almost thirty houses and held over a thousand vaults.
Remus felt a little bad about having to stun Ron before he went into shock at that.
He didn’t need to be awake to be part of the ritual, after all.
Then it was a simple matter to cast the charm and remind everyone of the discussions they’d had. Sirius had just barked ‘remember’ and the conversations flooded back. He’d need to write a short note for anyone moving forwards, though.
“Now, you won’t be able to talk about any of this in detail outside this room, nor will anyone be able to read about it in writing or if they scan your minds. We can adjust it to be mobile or take it down if and when all members are accomplished Occlumences, but I’m not chancing it after the last debacle,” Sirius muttered once they were done.
“So, I can return home without worrying about the Headmaster getting wind?” Ron asked yet again.
“Yes,” came multiple exasperated snips, Harry’s being perhaps more frustrated than not. Harry had forgiven Ron’s shouting sending him into a panic attack and, once Ron had understood what happened, he’d apologized profusely.
“I’d also suggest checking for compulsions or potions on anything not from the eight of us,” Arianna grumbled. “Maybe not destroy everything immediately, but we can see about keeping some of it for evidence.”
“We have portable vanishing boxes available for valued clients,” Ragnok offered. “We could provide enough for those of school age to accompany them, so should any such tainted things make their way to the children’s possessions, we can collect them here without the children put at risk. They also make a fairly useful method of communication over distance, without the risks of an owl.”
“Have I told you lately that I love goblin minds?” Arianna said, smiling blindingly at the male.
Remus had to agree. So many services the goblins were willing to provide if given the right incentive. Apparently, bring them respect, a business deal, and fifteen previously thought dead houses, and they’ll be pretty accommodating.
A quick discussion, a few galleons exchanged, and Harry, Fred, George, Ron, and Charlie had boxes. Fred and George would have shared one, but, as Ron pointed out, it couldn’t hurt to have two in case they needed an extra for a large number of contaminated items or if they added another to the secret without a chance to visit Gringotts quickly. Charlie got one because he needed to return to the reserve in Romania at least for a little while to put his affairs in order for a prolonged leave of absence. Since he had taken very few vacations or days off in the years he worked there, he had little doubt his superior would grant the request.
Especially if Charlie mentioned he was in search of a partner. From the stories he shared, his fellows at the reserve were beginning to worry for the redhead, since he was such a workaholic. And Remus wasn’t stupid. If the way Harry, Fred, and George were acting indicated they were soulmates, he had little doubt Charlie and Arianna were as well. Given that the woman had only been out of a magical coma for about a week, most of which was spent expending a lot of magic or undergoing medical procedures, it was no wonder they couldn’t see it yet.
He only hoped Arianna’s claim of his own soulmate would prove true at some point. He resigned himself to either continue pining for the man or dig for his forgotten Gryffindor courage to ask the Lord Black on a date. He’d held off during their schooling because the man was a perpetual flirt and he couldn’t tell if he was honest in his attentions or if he was just unable to turn it off. Then they’d been fighting a war. Then James (and Peter) had died, Sirius had been thrown into Azkaban, and he’d lost his pack. Now they were combating a ministry most eager to put the escaped murderer back, a mess of Wizarding Britain, and no time.
“Oh, fuck it,” he muttered before stomping to the man and kissing him soundly.
Ron left with the sight of Remus snogging an eager but surprised Sirius burned into his brain and glad to be going back to his manipulative bint of a mother. Though, Remus thought idlily as he devoured Sirius’ plump lips, that could be more to do with the box of prank product experiments the boy had shrunk in his pocket than on any actual affection for the woman. It seemed she suffered from a chronic case of producing Marauder heir brats. Then he pushed it aside in favor of memorizing the taste of Sirius’ mouth.
*****
Arianna smirked when Remus pulled his head out of his arse enough to kiss Sirius. She completely ignored them, though, in favor of giving Ron a few last minute pointers on how he should act with Molly.
“Now, remember, we want her thinking the twins are popping in frequently to prank her but not showing themselves to anyone in utter disgust of what she did to Charlie,” Arianna said, handing him yet another package of experimental prank products. “And you need to take careful notes on how these work. Try them individually at first, to see if they’re working how they’re supposed to, then go for it with combinations.”
“Geeze, you’re worse than ‘Mione,” Ron grumbled, but took the bag.
“We’ll have to arrange a little chat with Miss Granger,” Arianna growled. “If she’s as bad as I’m beginning to suspect, we may need to put her on the avoid list…. I will not have her bullying Harry. I don’t care how bright she is.”
“I’ll speak with her,” Ron said hurriedly. “She’s honestly not that bad, but she gets stressed…”
“As I’ve already proven, stress excuses nothing when it comes to being rude or bullying,” Arianna said, blushing slightly at the remembered reprimand from Eir.
“We’re supposed to spend a majority of the summer at Grimmauld Place. We’re to leave for it at the end of the week,” Ron said even as he headed for the door and tried to ignore the snogging men. “She’s meant to join us next week, after her family’s vacation is over. I’ll try to talk to her, maybe explain why Molly’s getting pranked. Hopefully, she’ll help. I’m not excited to be writing notes outside of school…. Even for prank ideas.”
“Check your bags when you get there,” Arianna said, gesturing to the shopping bags he had dangled from his wrists. It had been decided that having them all shrunk would have looked suspicious, so Remus had shrunk half and the other half had featherweight charms on them. Since they’d ended up getting a lot more than was on the school lists, they didn’t want Molly having kittens at the amount Arianna had spent on the boy. Let alone that she’d spent galleons on a Weasley she’d never met. “There should be a Dict-a-quill in there for you. I figured it would help in Binns’ class, at the very least. Should you find any of the other professors aren’t opposed, well, good on you.”
Ron blushed and Arianna smiled.
“I better be off,” he muttered. “It’s almost supper and she’ll be in a right rage if I miss that, after messing up her day and missing lunch.”
“If it gets to be too much, Ron,” Arianna said, trying to catch his eye as he shuffled in place by her bed. “You are always welcome here. It’s a safe place, after all, and quite capable of handling another Weasley for a while, until one of the properties is ready.”
“I appreciate everything you’re doing for Harry and for me, Ari,” Ron said softly. “I don’t think I would be able to live with myself if the twins and Sirius hadn’t saved Harry. I knew those muggles were bad, but I never suspected they were that bad. Or that Dumbledore was letting it happen. And for you to forgive that lapse? To accept me even though I never said anything? I can’t really thank you enough.”
“Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much,” Arianna said. “I never said there wouldn’t be consequences, especially for your actions towards him last year. They just won’t be damaging to anything but your pride. I’m all for pranks, but I can’t stand being cruel to undeserving people. Pranks are meant to be fun. We’re only using them to punish Molly because I’m not allowed to rip her to pieces. And if anyone so much as looks at my brother wrong during the year, I’m trusting you to say something this time. Whether to a professor or to me. You’re to protect him, understand?”
Ron smiled again, just a touch proud and smug. “Yes, ma’am,” he said, giving a mock salute before following the guard out of the room in search of the nearest floo.
“You are such a ‘puff,” Charlie said with a smirk as soon as Ron was gone, leaning against the wall next to the door.
“When is that a bad thing? Ever?” Arianna asked, smirking at him.
“So, what next, oh fearless leader?” Fred asked from where he was cuddling Harry.
“Anyone up for hosing down the horny adults?” Arianna asked with a mischievous look at a still snogging Remus and Sirius. She was only too glad they’d decided to stick to kissing for the moment.
A wicked gleam entered the eyes of the rest of the group and the goblins made a hurried exit as five voices cast at the pair. The flooding of that half of the room was quite acceptable payment for the surprised squawks the pair gave off.