Annoyingly Intriguing
Severus POV
When Albus had informed us about a new class and the new Professor that would teach it, I surely didn’t expect it to be her. That first day back at the castle when I first encountered her, inexperience just radiated off of her. The look in her eyes when she turned around, she looked like she was a prey about to be eaten by a predator. It wasn’t until Albus had welcomed her back, that I remembered that he had mentioned she was a Hogwarts alumnus, a fellow Slytherin. There was something familiar about her.
I had tried to pick apart every memory and I was sure that no one with that hair color was in my House during my student years. Which meant she must have changed it later on. Another prominent feature of her were those eyes. It wasn’t something you would encounter every day, but I could not place those eyes in my head. I may have not known every single student in my House personally, but I could recognize them by face, most even by name. Then there was the next problem…
Alyssa Hallewel..
I was a 100% sure that I never heard that name before. Apparently we have been in the same House together for 5 years, but still I couldn’t find an image of her in my brain. The main reason I wanted to remember was that I needed to know if she was a potential threat. Someone who knew things about my past and could expose them. I needed to be sure if she was worth my suspicion and if I needed to deal with it accordingly. I needed to know if she could ruin anything that had to do with me being here.
I was convinced Albus wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize it either. Though a part of me wasn’t sure if I even knew everything that went on in that man’s head or what he was planning. He had asked me about my first impression of the new Professor, I simply stated she had left none at all. I had even questioned his decision on hiring her for a job like this. He had told me to wait a little longer before making my final judgement about her, saying she was still adjusting to her new environment and position.
When I saw her in her office after a couple days, almost broken down under the pressure. It almost instantly convinced me that she wasn’t a threat. Still I had to keep in mind that people could fake it, just playing innocent while they weren’t. I saw the ideas she had written down, they weren’t bad, but it was evident that she just lacked experience to put it all together. When I got close to her, I saw the true exhaustion written all over her face.
For some reason I thought back on my first days as a Professor and even though I didn’t struggle as hard as she did; I still got help adjusting. So I decided to push her a little in the right direction, she still needed to prove she was up for the task if you asked me. That next day on one of the rounds with Minerva, Harvey and Albus we found her in the music room. Something I still strongly believe was intentional by the old wizard, although I didn’t know for what purpose.
She was completely sucked into her own world. She didn’t even notice us entering the room, which made me see her as even less of a threat. Hearing her sing though, it made me wonder if I should recognize that voice or not. She did have a pleasant sound and she was clearly musically talented. Though she seemed humble about her skills after the others complimented her.
Minerva had offered to help her with lesson plans, something she had done for me as well back in the day and for some reason I had offered my help as well. As the weeks went on, I was sure that this woman was little to no threat at all. Everything she did, the way she responded to certain situations seemed to be genuine. As Albus predicted, she did seem to know what she was doing after all; even if she needed help getting there.
The whole school seemed ecstatic about the new addition to Hogwarts, both staff and students. I didn’t understand what the fuss was about though, she wasn’t that extraordinary. It seemed like the rest of the school faculty was eating out of her hand, every single one of them wrapped around her fingers. I started to wonder if I made a mistake helping her, wondering if I gave her a false impression as she tried the same on me.
Ever since I started teaching here, I had no desire to get close with anyone, there was no need for that. I was here with a purpose and I didn’t need anyone trying to pry in my life. I was perfectly fine on my own. At first I thought she just wanted to be liked by everyone, but her actions actually seemed genuine. Like she actually wanted to know my opinion or actually wanted to know how I was feeling.
However she never pushed past any personal boundaries, always offering and never really demanding. Still the constant attempts to gain my attention were getting on my nerves. Why couldn’t she be like the rest, leaving me be. Why did she keep trying after I had shown no interest in what ever she was trying? Every day and every change she always started with that smile.
My irritation with that woman reached a new high when she suddenly showed up on a night I needed my solitude the most. Thinking I could use company, what on earth gave her that impression after I mostly ignored everyone during the day. Then having the audacity to just take a seat; uninvited. Still for some reason, I couldn’t tell her to leave. She just sat there with me, not even trying to get me to talk. She just sat there, like she was offering a listening ear if I needed one.
This woman confused me at times, not only my own actions, but her actions as well. Like when she clearly wanted my help in understanding a game she didn’t even like. She could have just asked Rolanda for that, but instead she chose me. I did it anyway, but still I couldn’t figure out what the point of this was. Or if there even was a point to her actions.
I still can’t explain why on earth I went looking for her on Christmas. I had seen her that afternoon when she gave me a present. She seemed like herself at first glance, happy and annoyingly cheery. Then I noticed that those emotions weren’t in her eyes, not like usual. When she didn’t show up at the feast that night, I just went to look for her and I still don’t know why or how I even found her. I found her sitting down in the snow, looking up at the sky. Almost nothing left from the woman who always sat next to me. There was a sadness surrounding her and for some reason I felt the need to send her food later that night.
It wasn’t long before she was back to her irritating polite and ever so nice demeanor. I even wondered for a second is she was a true Slytherin. The way she never objected how I treated her was one of my biggest reasons for doubting. She did manage to surprise me a little, when she walked in the Great Hall one day. She walked in proudly after she obviously was a victim of a student prank and surprising me again later that night. Using information on me to ensure I wouldn’t expose what I learned about her. Perhaps there was a Slytherin in her after all.
The rest of the year went by with Alyssa not giving up at her attempts. It happened every day, until suddenly near the end of the year she wasn’t there. No one had seen her that day and I overheard that her classes were canceled, though no one seemed to know why. I had to admit I did enjoy a day of peace, being left alone like before she arrived. When I walked the halls on patrol that night, I heard her sing again and I thought I heard her cry.
When our paths crossed after that, the same sadness that surrounded her on Christmas was back. Only this time feeling darker and more intense, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. She didn’t even try to start a conversation, she smiled and left. Though that smile wasn’t as bright as I had gotten used to. After seeing her walk away, another unexplainable urge rose in me. I ended up offering her the same company she gave me months ago.
The school year had ended and I was finally able to escape all of it. Finally being able to return to the solitude I had grown to crave in all those years. Or so I thought…
Of course she just had to show up at my house. Of course she happened to find a place to live so close to mine. She had mentioned that Albus was the one who sent her here. I couldn’t understand why though, there were so many other towns for a witch or wizard to live. Why would he send her to this town?
The thought of her possibly being a stalker crossed my mind for a second when she appeared at my house again. She was carrying two full bags and just walked passed me straight towards the kitchen. I was a bit baffled by the nerve of that woman, but at the same time a little intrigued by her actions. Taking a risk by just showing up, no way of knowing how I would react.
I was a bit surprised, if not confused by the dish she decided to prepare, but it was even better than I had expected, it tasted rather good actually. So I didn’t mind that she brought a meal package later on, sadly it didn’t taste the same when I made it even though I followed every step she wrote down. The rest of the break I had all to myself, having the much-needed peace and quiet to prepare myself for the year to come. Albus had informed me about what the school was going to protect and asked me to provide one of the protections.
He also wanted me to be on high alert and warn him immediately if I saw any sign of the Dark Lord or his followers. I was thankful I had some time to mentally prepare myself for everything that would come my way. For the first time since I made the deal with Albus, there were actual signs of my dark past. I also heard the rumors going round about a famous student joining the school and I was not looking forward to that.
Another year started, another year in dealing with insolent dunderheads, but this year a famous one thrown in that bunch as well. It was only after a couple of days Albus had shared his concern about the return of one of the teachers and wanted me to keep an eye on him. To top that up, I had this gnawing feeling a certain colleague would go on with her attempts to get my attention or whatever her intentions are. My head almost exploded just thinking about dealing with all of that.
Of course she had to confront me about the fact I’ve been distant. Of course she had to ask me about that meal package, but I refused to admit it wasn’t a success. I needed her at a distance, I couldn’t risk her seeing or hearing things she wasn’t meant to. Thankfully she was pretty busy working on something new for her class. I was relieved as well that she did not want my help, like she had roped in some of the others.
On Hallowe’en it was obvious she was holding back something during the day. It didn’t surprise me at all that she asked where I went during the Troll incident. It was written on her face ever since we ran towards that girl’s bathroom. She tried to stay off topic, even kept quiet for a while. I was just waiting for her to blurt it out, not that I would tell her anything significant. The less she knew, the better.
I felt her constant eyes on me during that week, and that curious look in her eyes was getting on my nerves as the week continued on. The pain in my leg wasn’t exactly improving my mood either. I had been working on the right potion to help ease the pain and wound, but it needed time. I couldn’t go to Poppy without having to explain what had happened. Then she showed up once again, determined to help.
I knew she could guess where the wound came from, she knew about the things set in place on the third floor. Somehow I allowed it anyway, regretting it as soon as she figured everything out. I did see a different side of her, a stern and serious side. One thing left me a little intrigued though. She never asked why I went to the third floor, she even offered her assistance if I needed to go there again.
She did reveal her intentions that night, for some reason she wanted to be friends. I somehow already was one in her eyes. I wasn’t exactly familiar with that concept, I never really felt like I had one. With the exception of one, but I lost that one. After that I never felt a need to make real ones, why bother if it could only hurt you in the end. I saw in Alyssa’s eyes that I might have hurt her that night.
The next day I didn’t see her until the match and for the first time she didn’t sat next to me. Which was odd for her doing, but it felt like a breath of fresh air for me at the time. Why on earth she wanted me to give a book back to that Dunderhead, I still don’t know. Since when was me confiscating things from students HER business? She showed up at dinner, but never joined, making me wonder what she was up to.
That became clear after another day of her nowhere to be seen. I had to contain myself for a moment as I watched her pathetic attempt to make some kind of point. It was pretty obvious now; I must have hit some nerve. She kept that ridiculous behavior up for the next few days as well. It was pretty clear she was seeking some form of reaction out of me, but in all honesty I welcomed the peace to concentrate on my tasks at hand.
Though I had my doubts about the remedy she provided, it proved to be pretty affective. The wound healed quite nicely and it did help with the pain a lot. I could use a little more and I assumed that little witch knew that when she made the offer of a refill. As soon as I saw her in her room that night, my assumptions were proven through. Not just about the ointment, but also about the one of her sudden distant behavior.
She threw it all in my face that night, even throwing out an ultimatum about that ridiculous friendship she was after. Did I really give her the idea that I wanted something like that as well? When I thought back I had to admit I might have given her some mixed signals. I realized I did visit her sometimes as well and I couldn’t figure out why I did that. I had made my intentions clear when I visited her in her office, I wanted to know why she chose that book as a gift to me.
Was it out of simple curiosity or because I wanted a little peek at her mind? I had noticed in the time I’ve known that woman, she never kept eye contact for long. As though she tried to prevent someone from prying in her brain. She seemed so innocent and untouched by evil on the outside, but it was becoming clearer to me that there might be more to her than was seen on first glance. The fact that I bought her something for her birthday was a simple response of her getting me something on mine.
I went back to focusing on what I needed to do, feeling freer to do so without someone constantly trying to get close to me. I had met with Albus, discussing if I had discovered something about the person I was meant to keep a close eye on. That meeting had ended with him telling me I needed to be careful who I kept close and who I kept at a distance. Saying we weren’t the only ones keeping eyes and ears open.
Something told me he was hinting towards a certain woman, it must have been obvious to more people that her behavior towards me had changed. From that moment on I noticed things about her, how often she was around. I caught her watching sometimes when she was conversing with others. She did seem pretty determined about wanting to know how the troll got into the school on Hallowe’en.
Could it be possible that she was still trying to figure that out? And what consequences could that have if she did? As time went on though, she showed no sign of her discovering something. Which eased my mind a little, that she wasn’t going to be another problem on my already full plate. I overheard a conversation the other day, Minerva and Filius talked about wanting to give her something back for Christmas. I had noticed they slightly leaned their conversation towards me, as to ask me to join; I never replied. I simply walked away.
Alyssa made it pretty clear to all of us that those gifts she gave us were a ‘thank you’ for the help we provided her and she didn’t expect something in return. So why would they want to do that? They even got Albus into the mix as well, but didn’t seem to have the courage to directly ask me if I wanted to join in. Which kind of saved me from having to figure out an excuse as to why I wasn’t interested.
After a while, more times than I liked to admit, her laughter caught my attention, a sound that used to be so close, now far away. It was almost as melodic as her singing. The warmth radiating from her when she asked someone how they were doing. The way her eyes seemed to try and take in as many details around her. I didn’t know why those things caught my attention lately, but I refuse to admit that I missed it.
Why would I? Those actions had annoyed me for the past year. The always friendly and nice attitude got on my nerves multiple times. So there was no way I would want that back. There had to be another reason, a more logical one. Maybe it was simply because of what Albus mentioned at our last meeting. That this was simply the outcome of me trying to figure out if I needed to keep a close eye on her.
It was Christmas Eve already and as if the holiday season wasn’t dreadful enough the woman, that became more of a mystery with each passing day, had to add something new. She had apparently been rehearsing something with the few remaining students of her music class. As the group of students performed a couple of songs, using only their voice, the look on her face couldn’t be prouder. Her smile was so bright as she softly swayed to the melodies.
Everyone seemed to enjoy it actually and I was pretty relieved the songs weren’t the typical glee ones. During the meal though, it seemed like something was occupying her mind. She still smiled and talked, but it seemed like it wasn’t as cheery as usual. When the Great Hall was nearly empty, I was ready to leave as well. Then Minerva, Filius and Albus stopped Alyssa from leaving.
“We know that you gave us gifts last year to thank us and you didn’t expected something in return” Minerva said.
“But we couldn’t help ourselves” Filius added smiling while Albus handed over a simple box. Alyssa seemed baffled for a moment, clearly not expecting it all. She carefully opened the box and it revealed a snow globe, with a piano in the center.
“It’s beautiful” She said as she shook it, looking at the falling snowflakes.
“It gets better” Albus said winking and she looked up at them.
“It changes with the season” He said smiling and from a distance I could see a glisten in her eyes.
“Thank you, though you didn’t have to” She said, flashing a bright smile once again. I had seen enough and I left the Great Hall. I could just feel eyes burning on my back, I could only guess who they belonged to.
I had returned to my dorm, letting myself fall on the couch as soon as I was close enough. I closed my eyes, in an attempt to clear my head. Why did it matter to me what that woman did, after I finally got her to keep her distance from me like the rest. I pinched the bridge of my nose, while I tried to think of a logical explanation, but none came to mind. I opened my eyes after a while and the first thing that caught my eye was the vial with the remaining ointment.
I had totally forgotten to give that back to her, even though she was pretty clear about the fact that she wanted that back. With a grunt I got up from the couch and grabbed the vial on the way out. I knocked on her door and waited, but no response. I sighed as it made me realize she probably went to her office, a place she had been spending most of her time lately.
While walking towards her office, the words Albus said rang in my head again. He had been talking about her and if I wanted to prevent her from finding out things she wasn’t supposed to know; I needed to keep her just a little closer. It was better if she thought she was getting closer to answers if those answers came from me. That way I could steer her away from the actual truth. That must be why she came to my attention so often lately.
It wasn’t because of me missing it, it was my subconscious trying to make me realize what the best way was to protect everything Albus and I had build up. I knew she wouldn’t just easily accept for things to go back as they were. She made it pretty clear she wasn’t interested unless the feeling was mutual. So here I was swallowing my pride as I knocked on her office door.