Speak To Me

My eyes were glued on the snow globe on my desk. I watched every little snowflake fall on top of the miniature piano, it was absolutely gorgeous. I had originally planned to work out some music for my students, but the gift in front of me was distracting me from all that. I had my hands on my desk and my head on top of them while I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I heard a knock on my door and absentmindedly told whoever it was to come in. I pushed myself up slowly when the door opened, before tearing my eyes away from the object in front of me. My mouth dropped slightly, seeing who had entered my office right now.
“Severus…”

~

The way the confrontation ended with Severus in my dorm was hardly a surprise. Had I hoped for a different outcome? Hell Yes! Still.. I wasn’t shocked with how it went. There was a part of me that regretted the way I handled this, the other part said it was about time I did. The ball was in his court now and all I could do was wait and see what he would do. There was no way I was going to beg, I am no beggar. He needed to make the first step towards me now and show me he really wants this.

Although he kept his distance, it did come to my attention that he was keeping an eye on me. Which I might have took a little advantage of. Since I knew his schedule pretty well, I might have appeared a little more than usual near where he would be. You know what they say.. Absence makes the heart go fonder.. Perhaps he was realizing that what I had done for him was genuine and maybe, just maybe he actually missed having me around. Who knows…
This time it was his turn and the first step was his to make.

The Holidays were just around the corner and there was a pit forming in my stomach; knowing I couldn’t visit her this year. So I needed something to distract myself and get me through the days. It was the last day before the break and my Music Class had just finished.
“Well that was it for today. For those who go home for the Holidays; Enjoy!” I said and the students started to gather their things.
“I would like a word with the ones who are staying at the school during the break” I said smiling as I watched the others leave. I was left with 5 students, 1 girl and 4 boys, all different Houses and ages.

“I was wondering about something. I know you would like to rest during break and hang out with friends who also stay behind, but I’d like to know if you would like it if I continued with this class for you guys?” The five students looked at me with interest and it made me smile.
“Perhaps we could even rehearse a song you can perform on Christmas Eve or something?” I said leaning back against my small desk.
“But we only have singers left” The Hufflepuff girl said softly and a little hesitantly.
“Have any of you ever heard of Acapella?”

I had asked them to think of songs they liked or they would like to try out and then I would take care of the sheet music for them. It made me happy to see their enthusiasm, since they all wanted to meet up the next day. During that first meet-up I just wanted to see what we were going to work with. Figuring out their vocal ranges and what kind of sounds they could produce. They slightly took my breath away, I knew I had talented students in this class, but damn they were good. I’ve heard them sing before with others when we were making music, but this was the first time listening to just their voices.

They came with some classic songs and I loved their choices. They surprised me once again with how much time they wanted to spend on this. Not that I was complaining though, this was the perfect distraction for me right now. It was a struggle sometimes, but damn was it worth it seeing how much they enjoyed exploring this side of their talent. The fact that they requested so much time felt so good, they even asked if I didn’t mind spending so much time on them.

There was something I loved the most though, even though they were from different ages and Houses. When they were together, singing, it didn’t seem to matter at all to them and that made me so happy. The Slytherin boy who enjoyed singing with the Hufflepuff Muggleborn girl had to be the best. Whenever they were in the room, prejudice about where they came from or in what House they were in disappeared in an instant. A part of me hoped they would keep this up for the rest of their school years, setting an example for the rest of the school.

At first I was a bit scared we might have set our goals a little too high, but somehow they pulled it off. It was Christmas Eve and to say they were excited was an understatement. We had a last rehearsal of the little set they were to perform before dinner tonight. We had settled on three songs: Little Drummer Boy, Mary Did You Know and Hallelujah. We agreed to meet up back at the classroom a few minutes before it was time, so we could arrive together in the Great Hall.

While walking towards the Great Hall, I saw the first signs of nervousness among them. So I stopped them just outside.
“Listen, what you all have accomplished over the last couple days is beyond what I could hope for. I knew I had talented kids in my class, but you blew me away. I’m so proud of you, you got this!” I said with a warm reassuring smile and they all nodded, seeing the confidence they had all week coming back.

The students that were left and all the attending teachers and staff all turned their heads towards us when we entered as a group just before dinner was served. We stopped in the middle of the teachers table and the ones for the students.
“Dear colleagues and students. For the past couple days I had the pleasure to work with these 5 talented students and they’ve prepared a little something for you tonight. I hope you enjoy it just as much as I will.”

I gave them some space and stood at the edge of the teachers table hands folded in front of me. They looked at me for a moment and I nodded towards them that they should start. I heard those first notes and all I could do was smile, it also didn’t take long for me to softly sway along with the melody. I glanced around every now and then and everyone seemed to enjoy it, making my smile even bigger if that was even possible.

The applause those 5 kids got was so loud and the looks on their faces were priceless. They had received a standing ovation and it they absolutely deserved it. We took our places at the tables and the food appeared.
“That was absolutely beautiful Alyssa. Great job!” Someone said next to me and I smiled at him.
“It was all them Filius, I simply provided them with an opportunity” I said, a quick glance towards the group who were scattered among their friends.
“Still, you helped bring it out of them and from what I understand in your own time” I chuckled.
“I honestly never thought they would be this excited. I love music and the fact that I could share that with them was just amazing”

Conversations went on for the remainder of the meal and I tried to engage in as much of them but still my mind lingered back to where I went last year. It stung knowing it wasn't an option to go there tomorrow. I was relieved that the 5 students wanted to work on some other songs for the rest of the break, so I still had a little distraction. I did gave them the next two days off though, since I wanted them to enjoy Christmas with their friends. So I still had to figure out how I was going to keep my mind occupied.

I knew I wouldn’t need two full days to find some sheet music for them. Although I could always make some music of my own, seeing as I would have the music room all for myself. I feared it wouldn’t be enough. The Great Hall was slowly getting empty with the exception of some staff and teachers. I was getting ready to leave and I saw that a certain black haired man was as well. He hadn’t said a single word to me ever since that night in my room and I was beginning to accept that it maybe was time to give up on this ridiculous fantasy of mine to befriend him at last.

“Alyssa” I turned and saw Albus, Filius and Minerva standing there all smiling towards me and the way they stood there next to each other made me a little nervous somehow.
“We know that you gave us gifts last year as a thank you and you didn’t expected something in return” Minerva spoke first.
“But we couldn’t help ourselves” Filius added, his smile growing as Albus handed me a simple box. My mouth dropped for a minute, this was indeed something I had not expected at all. I carefully opened the box and it revealed a snow globe; a piano in the center and I was mesmerized by it.

“It’s beautiful” I said while I shook it, seeing the snowflakes fall.
“It gets better” Albus said and I looked up and he winked at me.
“It changes with the season” He said flashing me a bright smile and I could feel tears of joy forming in my eyes.
“Thank you, though you didn’t have to” I said smiling brightly at them. I noticed Severus getting up from his seat at last, leaving the Great Hall.

“Nonsense, you gave us such great gifts last year; we had to do something in return” Minerva said smiling. I stayed behind a little longer, talking to them for a little bit more, before going to my office. A place I’ve spent a lot of time lately, being my escape and best place to work. I had taken the snow globe out of the box the second I sat down on my chair, shaking it before setting it down on the desk.

My eyes were glued on the snow globe on my desk. I watched every little snowflake fall on top of the miniature piano, it was absolutely gorgeous. I had originally planned to work out some music for my students, but the gift in front of me was distracting me from all that. I had my hands on my desk and my head on top of them while I couldn’t take my eyes off it. I heard a knock on my door and absentmindedly told whoever it was to come in. I pushed myself up slowly when the door opened, before tearing my eyes away from the object in front of me. My mouth dropped slightly, seeing who had entered my office right now.
“Severus…”

I straightened my back, holding my head high while he closed the door behind him.
“Didn’t expect you tonight. Is there something you need?” I asked, with little to no emotion in my voice as I carefully pushed the snow globe aside.
“I came to return something” He said as he took something from the inside pocket of his robe. I took the vial he was handing me and simply nodded.
“Took you long enough, you almost had me believing you’ve used it all” I said, avoiding eye contact for the moment as I placed it next to the snow globe.

“Anything else?” I said coldly while I grabbed a pile of sheet music out one of my drawers.
“I may be able to help you with replenishing your stock” Those words made me look up from the papers in front of me and I raised an eyebrow.
“If you have a list of ingredients for me, I can see what I can do” His face never changed, keeping the calm and emotionless demeanor. While I was wondering where this sudden offer of help came from. The guy didn’t seem to mind at all that our contact was zero and now here he was out of nowhere with this offer.

I kept my eyes connected with his while I grabbed a piece of parchment and my quill. Hoping maybe to see something that could help me figure out what his intentions are. It took me like a minute to write everything down.
“Here you go” I said keeping the cold tone in my voice before handing him the list.
“I’ll keep you posted” He said quickly glancing at the parchment.
“Goodnight Miss Hallewel”
“Goodnight” I responded before he closed the door.

My eyes stayed on the door for a moment, a frown forming on my face.
“Well that was odd” I muttered softly to myself and sighed. What is he up to? There had to be a reason for this sudden change in his behavior. Right now I was trying to think of something, but honestly I couldn’t think of anything really. It did make me a little curious on what was going to happen when or if he managed to get all the ingredients needed. I guess only time will tell. One thing I knew for sure, I won’t give in so easily this time and it will take some time before I was going to treat him the way I did before.

The first two days I had some company from Minerva in between the meals and sorting out sheet music. She was even interested in what I was doing with my students after what she saw on Christmas Eve. She didn’t know any song I laid out, they were all Muggle artists so I wasn’t that surprised she didn’t know them. Honestly I was just happy to have some company during my mother’s favorite Holiday. It eased with the loneliness I felt every year since her death.

The days after that were filled with practice sessions and me preparing my lessons for when the rest of the students returned, and the New Year celebrations of course. The five kids I saw daily really enjoyed the time we spent together and what we did. We even came up with the idea of an unannounced performance on the last day of the break, when everyone was back. It wasn’t even my idea honestly, it was theirs and I absolutely loved it. It would be one song, but it was different from the ones they performed on Christmas Eve. It was a song the Hufflepuff girl suggested and I had to dive into my sheet music archive to find a copy.

I had gathered so much sheet music along my travels, I even forgot I had some. This particular song was from an American female rapper, whom I didn’t particularly like, but collecting these things became a hobby while on the road. Wanting to create a big archive of music from all around the world. Whether I liked the artist or not, I simply wanted it to further expand my collection. Thank god for magic and its ability to shrink, or else transportation of my collection would have been a real pain in the ass.

While in Japan I had them all categorized into bins in an alphabetical order and added some color tags to assign them to a music genre. I had simply moved it that way to my new home in Cokeworth and took them with me to school this year. The bins were so full I still needed the assistance of magic to keep them in a convenient size or else I had needed multiple bins for some letters and it would take up so much space. I had stored them in the music classroom and have been taking some bins to my office sometimes to look them over.

It was moments like this that I was grateful that I had this crazy hobby, so I could provide them with a tool to help them rehearse this song. I must admit the surprise look on that girl's face when I pulled out the sheet music was pretty amusing, she probably didn’t expect a teacher to own something like that. This style of music was a bit of a challenge to translate to Acapella, but damn these kids were determined to make it work. The song was full of sounds and beats not made by actual instruments, so it was definitely a little more difficult and not to mention the tempo is higher than the Christmas songs.

With every passing practice session they improved and once again they blew my mind with their commitment to this and of course the pace in which they improved. It made me wish there was enough time to keep doing this and forming more groups with other kids and explore their talents more closely. Sadly the schedules of the students were packed enough as it is, plus mine is getting more packed as time passed. Gaining more responsibilities around the school (doing evening checks and so forth) and my own subject expending to better the result of this course, plus the pressure to get my first class ready for their N.E.W.T.’s next year.

“Great work all of you! I can’t believe how much you achieved in just a few days. You are going to kill it tomorrow!” I said applauding them with a humongous smile on my face.
“Now when the rest of the school returns tomorrow and the dinner is about to begin, I will give you a signal, that is your que to start and turn that place upside down. Dance across the tables and really have fun!” The five students were beyond excited about how the last rehearsal went and about performing tomorrow.
“Just one more thing..” I said gaining their attention while they were packing up their stuff.
“If you end the song near the teacher’s table, I can add a little extra to really spice it up” I said grinning and they all nodded, though curiosity filled their eyes.
“Just focus on performing and I will handle the rest”

The students left the music room and I was gathering the last things, cleaning up a little so the room was ready for when the normal classes would proceed. I had my back towards the door when I heard someone enter.
“I should have known you were here” I could just tell the person was smiling.
“They wanted just one more round before everything went back to normal” I said turning towards Minerva.
“Be careful now, before you know it.. Other students want something like this too and will take up all your free time” She said a little teasing which just made me laugh.

“Severus was looking for you earlier. Surprised me honestly that he couldn’t guess you would either be here or in your office” Those words made me freeze for a little moment. I hadn’t heard from him since the night he suddenly showed up at my office and now he was publicly looking for me? Seriously what was going on inside that guy’s brain?
“Oh was he now?” I asked, while I continued to put away the attributes used in the last few hours.
“What is going on between you two?” Minerva said bluntly.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” I answered quickly while keeping my eyes on the sheet music bins.
“It’s obvious something must have happened. You don’t sit next to him anymore, something you did since the day you started here. You two barely talk anymore. It’s becoming more and more evident for others as well”

I turned my head towards her and shrugged.
“Nothing is going on actually. I’ve just been busy that’s all. And since when is it anyone’s business who I sit next to?” I said keeping calm and neutral, hoping she wouldn’t see through every lie I just told her.
“Just wondering that’s all” She said smiling.
“He is in his classroom” She added before leaving me alone. I just stood there not moving a single muscle. So everyone started to notice a change between the Potion Master and I, a development I wasn’t particularly happy about.

It felt like I was a student all over again and every move I made was being watched by someone. On the other hand.. what do I care what they think about me? I didn’t need to justify my actions to them, I was an adult and as long I was doing my job I didn’t need to explain my actions to anyone. Nor is it their business to comment on that. I closed the bin I had opened to put away the sheet music and sighed. I guess this will always be happening thanks to the curious nature of humans and their needs to control situations they don’t have control over.

I grabbed my robe and sighed once more, realizing I should probably go to the Potions Classroom if I wanted to figure out what was going on with its Master. I restated in my head that I wasn’t going to get sucked in so easily as I did in the beginning. This time I had to be stronger and make sure this was a mutual thing. I was done wasting my time for nothing in return. Was I still interested in a friendship with this man? Well yes, but only if he wanted one as well, if that wasn’t the case well too bad.

I had put on my robe before stepping out of the classroom, flowing behind me as it was still open, while I made my way towards the dungeons. I took my time, I felt no rush, if it was some kind of emergency he should have found me himself. I may have taken a longer route then I normally would, it wasn’t like we had agreed on a certain time. I didn’t even know he wanted to see me until Minerva came to me a few minutes ago. The fact that he openly expressed he was looking for me to someone, I wasn’t sure if more people knew besides Minerva, was still surprising to me.

Which made me go back to my presumption that he was up to something. Judging the way he acted for a longer period to now suddenly visiting and looking for me, it just didn’t make sense. What changed? Did I miss something? Was it something I did, that he happened to notice? Or did something change for him? I walked even slower now, hating myself for letting this take over my head once again. I had been doing so well lately and now all of it was back. What was it with this guy that made me so willing to spend all my time and energy on achieving something that wasn’t even sure if it was achievable. Once again I felt like student ‘me’, wanting nothing more than his attention but too chicken to ask for it.

There was one big difference though, I had grown a lot since then. I wasn’t afraid to speak up for myself anymore, especially if it was in my best interest. I didn’t pretend to be someone I’m not just to please my father, although I still kept some things to myself. I had arrived at my destination and I let out one last soft sigh before knocking. I folded my hands behind my back after entering the classroom. Severus sat behind his desks and put his quill down as soon as he looked up and saw me.
“Miss Hallewel” He spoke in his usual tone.
“Minerva said you were looking for me?” I asked not moving an inch closer.

“Ah yes” He said remaining seated behind his desks folding his hands underneath his head.
“I have managed to collect everything from your list” He said nodding towards the large table near his desk where all the ingredients were spread out. A little taken back by this news I walked towards it and my scanned every item on the table. Indeed everything that was needed for the ointment was there, surprising me because I knew some of them weren’t available in this region.

“I didn’t expect you to be so quick or that you would be able to get everything” I said still looking at everything.
“I was even considering going back to Japan this summer to I could stock up on some items” I added softly, saying it more to myself than him honestly.
“Benefits of being a Potions Master” Severus said and I looked at him, his posture or facial expression hasn’t changed, nor his tone.
“Well, thank you very much. What do I owe you? I know some of these things aren’t cheap” He simply shook his head.
“Don’t worry about it” He said and once again my head started flooding with questions about his behavior. I wasn’t even aware of staring at him until he scraped his throat.
“Once again thank you” I said, trying to regain my intended strong posture, but once again this guy managed to throw me off guard. I wasn’t even sure what to do or say next honestly, I was so confused about this whole situation.

“I was wondering if you are willing to show me how to make it?” Those words just plain shocked me. He wanted My help?
“Why?” Was all I could get out of my mouth, while confusion was slowly taken over my whole body and face.
“It would be a great addition to my collection and you mentioned is was a precise procedure, one you are familiar with” He added, still not moving almost making me want to scream what the hell was going on in that head of his.
“Uh.. Yeah.. Sure. It is a long process though. It will easily take up hours and there are preparations to be made” I added carefully, although everything was confusing the hell out of me. Curiosity was stronger and it wanted to know just what he was up to, something I could only figure out if I did this.

“No problem” He responded.
“When will suit you?” He added and I thought for a moment.
“I prepared everything for the start of the term. So I have my schedule for Sunday free” And he simply nodded.
“What are the preparations” He asked finally removing the hands from underneath his head, grabbing a piece of parchment and his quill again ready to take notes. I turned towards the table and gathered some herbs.
“These need to be frozen” I said laying them to the side in a small pile, while inspecting the rest and mentally reading the recipe in my mind. I grabbed another ingredient and went to turn towards his desk when I noticed Severus was right there next to me.

“Keep these away from direct light sources, it deteriorates their quality and effectiveness enormously” I said locking my eyes with his, hoping I could find some sort of indication of what was going on in there. He took it out of my hand and nodded. He wrote something down and immediately stashed it away.
“Anything else?” He asked calmly and I shook my head.
“The rest of the preparations need to be done on Sunday” He nodded and walked back towards his desk.
“Bring the purified water and Hibiscus and come to me, 4 o’clock in the morning” I said curious about his reaction.

He raised his eyebrow for a moment and looked at me, probably trying to determine if I was serious or not.
“And hope for a clear sky, it will make the process a lot easier” I added and he nodded, acknowledging that I was serious.
“Anything else?” I asked this time and he simply shook his head and I took that as my sign that I could leave. Once outside I stopped after a few steps, looking over my shoulder towards his classroom door. Like usual I left with even more questions than answers. There was one thing I was certain of though…
Sunday was going to be extremely interesting.

Link for the Songs in this chapter: