A Forgotten Joke
There was an old clone trooper joke that went like this:
General Koon, General Kenobi, and General Skywalker are arguing about who has the bravest men. They decide to settle it once and for all by making a bet.
Koon goes first, and claps a hand on a trooper’s shoulder. “Son,” he says, “I am so proud of you. Could you take out that battalion of droids for me by yourself?”
The trooper, being a member of the Wolf Pack, is practically bursting with pride. “Sir, yes, sir!” he says, and he goes and does it, all with a smile on his face.
“Impressive, but I think you’ll find my men to be more so,” says Kenobi. He calls over one of his men, leaning seductively on the side of a ship, scandalously showing a hint of collarbone. “Hello, there. Do you think,” he purrs, fluttering his lashes, “that you could capture that Separatist base for me, with one hand tied behind your back?”
The trooper, being a member of the 212th, is cherry red and vibrating with excitement. He can’t even speak, just nods vigorously, and does it in record time.
“Pssh, that’s nothing,” says Skywalker, and waves one of his men over. “Hey, trooper, I want you to strip off your armor and go ask Ventress for a drink.”
The trooper, being from the 501st, gives his general an incredulous look and promptly answers, “Kriff, no, sir!”
Skywalker, beaming, turns to the other generals and says, “See that? That’s real bravery!”
Rex is one of the few who can remember it, and one of even fewer who knows why it was once funny, even if it isn’t anymore. It was very true of his brothers in the Wolf Pack and the 212th, for all that Cody passionately (and blushingly) used to deny it, glancing around anxiously for fear of his general overhearing. When the chips activated, it stole what little culture the vode were able to build for themselves, and it stole the generals who were the basis of the joke in the first place.
Well, maybe not Skywalker. But when he hears the stories of Vader’s Fist, the callousness with which he spends clone lives and the absolute obedience he expects from his men, Rex thinks it may as well have.