Three
Elsewhere in Obama's Realm.
A SPACECRAFT HAS PASSED THE BORDER OF AFRICA. SOMEHOW, WHILE THE ONLY BORDER PATROL OFFICER, SALA, WAS OFF DUTY (PROBABLY SMOKING CRACK OR SOMETHING) THE PRIDE L4ND MADE IT ACROSS. OUR ONLY HERO, NIMBA, PREOCCUPIED WITH ATTEMPTING TO MURDER OBAMA AND JACK BLACK, WAS UNABLE TO STEP IN...
*Smash Mouth's Allstar plays*
*Spacecraft doors open*
*Shrek emerges*
Shrek: I have traveled many years through the swamp in order to free the Talking Bananas from their suffering!
*Bananas all around Obama's realm cheer with the newfound hope of rebellion and liberation*
*They fall into splits and break their spines*
Shrek: F**k
*Having lost all purpose Shrek explodes into a shower of glorious all stars*
Obama: Kneel before me!
Jack: Never!
Nimba: *preoccupied slurring*
*Nimba starts killing the pandas*
*The pandas stop using Kung-Fu tactics and assault rifles materialize from nowhere*
All Pandas: ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
*Nimba is shot to death but not before killing 47.3 trillion pandas*
Ascended Shrek: NO! My champion has fallen!
*a chorus of angels descends upon Nimba's mangled corpse*
Angels: He still had so much to do, so much to see, may he take the back streets to the afterlife
Shrek: Nimba, I live in you, you must keep fighting to expel the world's oppressors from my all-encompassing swamp. Go now, and remember, only shooting stars break the mold.