Chapter 5
"Mama! Mama! Mama!" I woke up to the sound of Jamie calling me. But when I tried to open my eyes, I realized that I cannot move. What's happening?
"Oh, Jamie, mama is still sleeping." I heard a familiar voice say. Wait, is that Hermione?
"Mama sleeping?"
"Yes, Jamie. Your mama is sleeping."
"Is mama okay?"
"He's fine. What makes you think that your mama's not okay, Jamie?" Her voice is gentle and yet, her tone coaxes an answer.
"Why does mama cry a lot?"
"..."
"Aunt 'mione?..." The sound of the door being opened left the question unanswered. But as I can tell, Hermione is glad that someone distracted them. I wasn't even aware that my baby boy sees me whenever I cry on the bed. I was sure that the door is locked whenever I do my pity party every night.
"How is he doing? Is he alright?"
"He's fine, Mrs. Granger-Weasley. Fortunately, the baby wasn't harmed in any way and we thoroughly believed that the mother's magic protected the child. This often happens in most cases when an expecting mother deals with something that has a potential of risking her baby." Thank Merlin! Hearing that the little one survived gave me immeasurable relief.
"Does this always happen? I mean, when I carried my daughter, I never experienced something like that."
"It happens on case to case basis. Though it is more often that the mother's magic protects the baby when the mother has a larger magical core. It can still happen to other expecting mothers, albeit rarely, it only happens when it's extremely dire especially if it could endanger the child."
"I get it now. If the mother has a larger magical core, then it's more likely that their magic protects their baby. So it's truly a blessing that Severus' magic protected his child."
"Indeed, Mrs. Granger-Weasley. Now, where is Mr. Potter's husband? I would like to discuss with him the proper medication and treatment his husband will be getting after he's to be released?" No! I don't want to be with Harry!
"Uhmm...that can be a problem." I can hear Hermione answer.
"Humor me, Mrs. Granger-Weasley. I've heard a lot of stories ever since I started working here at St. Mungos."
"Well, you see, Severus and Harry's relationship is a bit on the rocks...as you can say. I know for a fact that stress and extensive emotions are not good for the baby, so is it possible that somebody else can take care of him at the remainder of his pregnancy other than his husband?"
"If that's the case, then yes. Somebody else can look after the patient as long as they're capable and the expecting mother doesn't have negative feelings with it. Now, the question is who will be Mr. Potter's guardian for the next seven months?"
"Uhmm...I haven't thought about that to be honest.."
"Then let us leave that for now. I think it will be better if you ask Mr. Potter about this first, to know which guardian will be most suitable for him."
"I'll ask him when he wakes up,"
"Good. I'll come back in a couple of hours, hopefully by then, Mr. Potter has already been aware of the issue." The door closes as the healer finished talking.
"Aunt 'mione?"
"Yes, Jamie?"
"Who's that man?"
"Oh. Jamie, the man earlier is a healer."
"What's a healer?"
"A healer takes care of sick people to make them feel better."
"Like mama?"
"Like mama, Jamie." Hermione laughs.
I try to open my eyes again, but this time, I can feel my eyelids move. Everytime I try to move, my body doesn't respond. I feel like I'm having a sleep paralysis.
"Mama!" I hear my little tyke squeal.
"What is it Jamie?"
"It moved! Mama's finger moved!"
"Stay right here, Jamie." She says as she runs away, to find a healer, probably.
I gasped as my eyes finally opened after multiple tries. The first thing that I saw were my son's eyes looking at me with excitement and worry.
"Mama! You're awake! You're awake!" Jamie squeals as he hugs me.
"Mama's alright," I say, cradling my eldest in my arms.
"Severus, I'm glad you're finally awake!" Hermione says as she enters the room along with a healer.
"Indeed. Thankfully, I'm conscious now and I'm ready to fix whatever is left in my marriage."
"That is good to hear, Mr. Potter, but unfortunately, you may have to consider doing those things." the healer tells me in a sympathetic voice. What does she mean by that?
"I beg your pardon?"
"The head healer sends his notice about getting you a new guardian. He explained to me that you and your husband are not in good terms, therefore may cause emotional extremes and stress which is not good for the baby. He advises that you assign somebody else jurisdiction if ever we need to do a major treatment or operation on your person."
"So let me get this straight. I need a new guardian to avoid complications during my pregnancy?"
"That is the main reason,"
"Does this mean that I won't see my husband again?"
"Not necessarily, Mr. Potter. But the head healer highly recommends that you do, though it's still your choice."
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"Don't pressure yourself, Severus. You only did what you think is the right thing to do."
"I-i...i'm not sure anymore, Hermione." I signed the papers. Harry's not my guardian anymore.
"O-our marriage is f-falling apart. First this, then now what? I already sent off my request for filing a divorce to the ministry!" It wasn't supposed to be like this.
"A divorce?! Have you talked about...you know?"
"I did!!! H-he admitted it in my face! He went on and described how great of a lay he had and not even once did he acknowledge our anniversary!!"
"You mean..he didn't?" Hermione gasped.
"He didn't! He didn't even remember o-our anniversary. H-he made excuses! He even c-called me...I n-never would've t-thought.."
"Oh, Severus."
"I-i was s-supposed to tell...he didn't..h-he didn't..." I can't. I can't hold it in anymore. I broke down into Hermione's arms again like the last time.
"Shhhhh...it's alright, Severus. Let it all out."
"I-it hurts so m-much!" We didn't even notice Jamie was awake until I felt his magic waft around the room.
"Mama? Why are you crying?" He asks, his eyes filled with worry.
I wipe my tears away from my eyes before I face my son once again. Jamie had fallen asleep next to me a while ago. I think my crying woke him up from his sleep. He wasn't supposed to see me like this.
"I-it's nothing, Jamie. See, mama's not crying." I try to smile at him, but by his reaction, I'm guessing that I'm failing miserably.
"Mama, don't lie! You're crying! You're crying again!" Jamie whimpered as he protectively hugged me.
"I h-hate it when mama cries. I-it makes me sad." I gave Hermione a look, silently telling her that I need some time alone with Jamie. She looks at me with empathy before leaving the room.
"Hush, J-jamie. It's gonna be fine..." I said as I ran my hand through his hair,
"B-but mama!"
"It's alright. I'll tell you what, if mama stops crying, then will you be happy?" I try to negotiate with my son, ignoring the fact that another tear fell down my cheek.
"You won't cry anymore?" He asks me, his voice filling with so much hope that it kills me a bit.
"I won't." I won't cry in his presence anymore. He doesn't have to know. He's too young to understand.
"You promise?"
"I promise."
"Pinky promise, mama." He holds out his small pinky for me to reach.
"Piny promise," I entwined my pinky with his. Jamie's frown immediately turns and he's finally smiling.
"Yay! Mama won't cry anymore!" I'm sorry, Jamie. But I think mama cannot hold on to this promise for too long.
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This time, I woke up listening to Harry bicker to the Healer in charge. Thank Merlin Hermione decided to take Jamie to Malfoy Manor. She told me that she's gonna go meet the other Weasleys outside, but then, Jamie didn't want to see his father. So we decided that he stays with his Uncle Draco for a while.
"What do you mean he's assigned to a different ward?!" Harry asked, his voice dripping with worry.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but the records and the head healer told me so. It seems as your husband has been listed on a different ward, meaning, everything that concerns your husband's medical concern is not under your jurisdiction."
"But I'm his husband! We're married, surely there is--"
"Again, I'm sorry, Mr. Potter. If you wish to complain please inquire to the head healer handling him. I am sure that there is a reason why he didn't assign you to take care of your husband, after all, our patient's wellness and safety is our number one priority."
"Is he alright?" He acquiesced.
"The baby is miraculously fine and has not been harmed, thankfully." I heard the healer's footsteps go further.
I finally let him know that I'm already conscious when the healer left. Harry looked at me with worried eyes while I returned it with a hurt and disbelieving expression. Maybe it would be best if we take a break. Our relationship is nothing but lies, doubts and miscommunications. He tried to hold my hand but I quickly moved it out of the way.
"I heard what you said earlier." I said in the tone that I always use when scolding my Slytherins.
"Sev, it's not like that! It's just that I---" Harry reasoned out but I cut him immediately off.
"What?! You think I want my children to grow up neglected by their own father?! News Flash, Potter, unlike you, I want my children to be free of such things. It's better that we part rather than our children to grow up around you, knowing that their father prioritizes his job more than them." I sighed before continuing,
"Expect the divorce papers tomorrow morning, I'll have an Unspeakable arrange it."
"You're joking! Please tell me you're joking, Sev. Please."
"Dammit, Potter. Why won't you just let me go?!" my tears are falling now. I don't like this one bit, but I'm at my limit.
"I love you! I love you and Jamie! Don't you want to be with me anymore?"
"I'm sorry, but the Harry I loved left a few years ago when he started neglecting his own son. We-we haven't been passionate these past few months also. I honestly feel like you're only using my body when we're having sex sometimes. I'm not even sure what to think about how you spent night after night of going home late, doing Merlin knows what, especially after you admitted that you only see me as such…" I admit, hiding my face with my hair.
"Are we a toy to be played with? To be used when wanted and thrown aside if you get bored? Tell me, Harry. How can you not care when Jamie got sick?! How can you say that he'll be fine and get better?! Even Madame Pomphrey was worried sick! How can you choose your work over your own son?!"
"It's not like that---"
"And how about us, love? How long have you been going out behind my back?! How long have you've been warming other people's bed only to go home and touch me with those same filthy hands!" Angry tears started to stream down my face.
"Listen, if you'd just let me--"
"Have you even noticed how scripted our bedroom life had been lately?" I asked, my teeth gnashing as I watched my husband's face contort to cluelessness.
"Our bedroom life?"
"You're not even aware, are you?! Harry, everytime we bloody fuck, you only ram into me like I was nothing but a hole. You don't kiss nor prepare me anymore like you used to do. You don't even know that all of my cries were actually cries of pain. We never made love anymore. All you seem to want is a quick shag, and then after that, you sleep, eat and go to work, that's it." I can't believe he doesn't know that! He doesn't even notice that our sex feels automated and forced, like it has a schedule of some sorts. And the last time was two months ago...after that..incident.
"I-I'm becoming like my mother, Harry. I promised myself that I'm not going to do that.." Oh, yes. Dearest mum. She's the only one who showed me any form of kindness and love throughout my childhood even before I met Lily. But then, I had always wondered why she stayed with my sad excuse of a father instead of going away with me. She would be beaten and raped by him daily. I would look on, wishing to help her and everytime I did, he would whip out his belt and lash it at me. Look where her supposed love had gone to. Mum died when I was entering my last year in Hogwarts after my father finally killed her when she failed to bring him his liquor in time.
"Sev..."
"J-just let me go, Harry. I'm not happy anymore. You're not happy anymore. Our relationship is falling apart. You have different priorities now...and apparently we’re not a part of it..I-I should've known better than to fall for you,"
"Do you regret our relationship, Sev?" he said, his voice cracking.
"No. Our relationship may have been bitter..sweet, but it has given me Jamie and the little one I'm carrying now. I couldn't be happier. It's just, I shouldn't have said yes to your proposal that quickly. I completely have forgotten that you're still young. You have different priorities now. If only you were there with me, with us." I said while involuntarily caressing my abdomen.
"Please. Give me one more chance,"