Chapter 3
I simply went down and left the pub like nothing happened, not noticing the tears that threatened to fall on my reddened cheeks. I can't help but to think on how long he has been doing this behind my back. Even if it is the first time, it doesn't change the fact that he cheated.
For the first time in our marriage, I slept in the guest bedroom. Well, technically, it is Regulus' old bedroom. I don't want him to hold me knowing that he's doing it to someone else before. I don't him to see me crying over him. They could even be shagging for all I care. I hastily covered my face with a pillow and started crying again. So much for a happy family, indeed.
I woke up the next morning running to the toilet to puke out whatever I ate for lunch yesterday. It seems like I forgot to eat dinner due to the events that had happened. I got out of the room and went inside our bedroom. Harry was asleep sprawled on the bed smelling of firewhisky with a red lipstick mark on his neck. Bloody fantastic.
The sound of the floo roaring made me exit the room. Hermione was there standing with the little tyke beside her. I was overwhelmed when Jamie came running to me, giving me a fierce hug. He pouted and whined about having him sent away for the night. But then, he immediately lightened up when I asked him about what he did. He told me about the prank he and Rose pulled at the Burrow. Cheeky brat. Count on him to lighten my mood.
My morning was soon spoiled when Harry sat beside me when we had our breakfast. Hermione eyed me suspiciously and I shook my head, defeated. She gave me look that says I need to explain to her after Harry leaves. My husband finished his meal, said goodbye to Hermione, pecked me in the lips and ruffled Jamie's hair before leaving for work.
His kiss killed me internally.
I basically broke down in her arms the moment he left. I told her about everything. His lack of time for them. His dismissiveness of Jamie when he got sick. His infidelity at the pub last night. I also told her that I was expecting again. It took me all of my strength to plead on not telling him about it. About everything that I said.
She argued that Harry has the right to know about me being pregnant again. That he needs to straighten up his life and prioritize his family. Hermione had acquiesced on not telling him, but only if I promise to tell him myself. Naturally, I agreed. She even made an oath to avoid slip ups whenever she talks to Harry.
My son is not ignorant by any means, so he immediately picked up that I was crying because of his father. Our attention diverted to him when his accidental magic pulsed around us. He went over and hugged me again, promising me that he would protect me from Harry from now on. I think the fact that he hardly sees his father anymore and that he was hurt made him hate Harry a bit more.
Hermione excused herself and flooed but without sending me a reassuring look. Jamie and I spent the day like usual, with him playing, and I watching and teaching him. After I tucked Jamie into bed, I got myself a bowl of strawberries from the kitchen and plopped down the couch. I patiently waited for Harry to arrive but then had fallen asleep on the process on doing so.
Harry woke me up when he got home. He told me how tired I looked while sleeping. He sat beside me and wrapped his arm around my waist. I composed myself before opening up the topic of his absence. I didn't want to go straight to what happened last night, even if I really want to do so.
"Harry, I've been thinking lately…"
"About what, Sev?" his other hand interlaced with mine, squeezing my hand lightly.
"About your constant absence of presence here." Harry lets out a sigh and removes his hands on mine.
"I thought we already talked about this, love. You know that--"
"I know, I know. Death Eaters are still at large, but can't you spend more time with us? Your work load is consuming you to the point that we hardly see you anymore!"
"You see me every night and morning," the Griffyndor pointed out.
"Especially with Jamie! He barely acknowledges you as his father anymore and you hardly do anything than to sleep and eat breakfast when you make your presence!"
"Relax, Sev. I'm sure Jamie would understand why I go to work every day. And what are you talking about not seeing me all the time, I mean, didn't we made love yesterday?" his response made me gape and angry at the same time. So they did shag when I left. Bollocks.
"No, we didn't Harry! You're not even home yesterday!"
"Yes I was! How do you explain me being in bed and with marks? Last night was a bit rough, though. I never thought you had it in you, Sev." he added as an afterthought.
"Harry, the last time we had sex was two months ago.." I can help but feel my eyes water. I partially blame my hormones for my emotional state.
"Sev, I--"
"I want the old Harry back! The one that placed family as his number one priority! Is it because of how I look? How I act? Or how old am I? Or is it because you're tired of me?!"
"I'm not tired of you, Sev. I'll never--"
"Then why Harry? Why did you do it?" I sagged, defeated.
"Look, love, I'll admit I forgot about our anniversary and went to the pub instead,"
"And then you shagged that harlot."
"If you were there, then why didn't you stop me, Sev?"
"Oh I don't know! Maybe it's because you look so bloody happy sucking that girl's throat while I'm tired of waiting for you at the restaurant like a lost puppy." my hands clenched to fists as I remembered last night.
"You should've stopped me! I was drunk! I didn't know what I was doing!"
"So it's my fault then?!"
"Yes! No! Jamie would-"
"Leave Jamie out of this Harry! This is between us,"
"Listen, Sev. I appreciate that you're spending all your time looking after Jamie, and that you want me to take a break, but that doesn't give mean that you can talk to me like that!"
"Appreciate?! Appreciate?! I’m not a bloody nanny Harry! I’m a parent, and so are you! So stop acting like a teenager and fulfill your responsibilities as a father!" I snarled at him, hiding the growing ache in my chest. This is going way too far. I want to stop but my stubbornness won't let myself lose.
"I am doing my responsibilities! And for Merlin’s sake, Sev, I'm your husband, please don’t berate me! Show some respect."
"I'm also your husband, you prat!"
"Remember, I'm the dominant one in this relationship!! You're just the submissive! I'm the one who decides in this relationship!!" that remark made me back pedal a bit. So Harry sees me as someone beneath him. Someone that doesn't have rights. I gave out a long mirthless laugh. There it is. His motive behind pursuing me. Harry's indignant stance turned to a worried one when my laugh turned to a sob.
"Careful, love. I'm starting to think you're only using me." I said, my voice barely a whisper.
"Sev..."
“No..no..just for once, listen to me…” Harry was gonna argue but I didn’t let him.
"I thought y-you were different. B-but I guess I was wrong. You're just like them.. Y-you only want something f-from me... Y-you don't r-really love me.. Y-you're only in love w-with the fact that I-im submissive... I guess dad was r-right after all... I'm just a f-freak worth d-discarding.. No one w-would ever want me for me..Y-you told me y-you'll never l-lose your l-love for me. Y-you vowed to be f-faithful. I-i *sniff* want..a d-divorce..." I choked back a sob as I backed away from him. I know I'm being irrational. But this is what happens when you grew up being thrown away. I developed a self-mechanism of leaving before they discard me. Before they can hurt me.
"You cannot honestly mean that, Sev! I love you and Jamie! You know that!" Harry said, stepping towards me.
"N-no. I d-don't*sob* want..to do this anymore. I'm sick of you choosing *sob* your work instead of us. I-im *sob* sick of waiting for you *sob* when we need you *sob* the most. I-im sick *sob* of people using *sob* me to their benefit. You *sob* don't love *sob* us enough *sob* to live up y-your *sob* vows..."
"Sev, baby, please! Let me--"
"Let me go!!" I say as I struggled against his grip.
He and I went on a tug of war. The next thing I knew, I was lost my equilibrium and stumbled against the shelf.
I cried in pain as the books on the shelf behind me fell down against my battered body. However, the thing that made me wail was when I felt my backside drip something. I didn't even have to look to know that it is blood. No! This cannot be happening...
"Mama!" I heard my son crying as he went down and ran over to me.
"Shhh..Jamie, m-mama's alright." I said as I caressed his tear stained cheeks. I fought to keep my eyes open while doing so.
Harry immediately sent a patronus to Madame Pomphrey and the Weasleys, presumably. When he tried to lift me up, Jamie blocked the way with a determined look on his face. I have never seen this look on our son's face ever since he promised to keep me safe.
"No! Papa hurt mama!" Thankfully, the floo roared once again and my blurry eyes can make out a frantic Madame Pomphrey rushing towards me. The last thing I heard was her shouting at Harry about what happened before I lost consciousness.