Chapter 1
I never would've thought that it would've led to this.
Severus Snape was meant to die in the Shrieking Shack that day. I drank the antivenin in my robe pocket and had fled back to my house in Spinner's End with the intent of disappearing from the Wizarding World. My original plan was to pack up my belongings and apparate to Prince Manor to finally live in peace.
But things went differently from what I intended it to be. I found myself collapsing on the worn out couch and falling asleep after I painstakingly dressed up my wounds. It was far too late to execute my plan because the first thing I saw when I woke up was Harry Potter, staring intently at me.
Harry told me that he had attested as a witness and had gotten me exonerated within the past few hours. He told me that the minister wants to give me an Order of Merlin for spying against the Dark Lord. He also apologized for accusing me of being a traitor and that he wants us to be friends.
I masked away the unfathomable attraction that I seemed to have gotten over his sixth year by snapping back at him like I used to do. I push away people before they can get too close. Before they can give me false hope and then hurt me. It was my defense mechanism. But that didn't deter him one bit. He even had the audacity to smile at me, telling me that he's glad that I'm alive, that he had been so distraught when he thought that I had died. He told me that he will always be there and that I won't have to be alone anymore.
I want to believe him but I wasn't convinced.
I still lived in Spinner's End, my plans of moving were completely forgotten. My thoughts occupied by a certain Gryffindor. Minerva offered me my old job as the Head of Slytherin and Potions Professor but I politely told her that I'm not going back to teaching. A decade of teaching dunderheads who can’t appreciate the art of making potions is more than enough. Harry on the other hand started stopping over to my house every day. I honestly can't tell if I detest or love that he did that.
Though, the next months had been...oddly pleasant for me. I don't know why, but he kept insisting to be at my presence. Pity was my first thought, but then his eyes would have this intensity that makes me melt whenever he looks at me. Or whenever he gazes at me when he thought that I wasn't looking. Needless to say, it intrigued me a bit.
I tried avoiding him to the point where I had to lock myself in the bathroom all day. I don't want him to see how...submissive I am in nature.
I never joined Voldemort because of my hatred of the Marauders, no, it was far from that. I joined the ranks because of the sense of belongingness and having someone to follow, peer pressure, if you will.
It all changed when Harry had finally had enough and told me the real reason why he kept on showing up at my house. He held my hands and looked into my eyes before leaning in and brushing our lips together. It made me confused and hopeful at the same time.
I yelled at him out of reflex and told him that if this was his way of pranking me then it's not working. Harry took it unexpectedly well and kissed me once again. He then told me his feelings. I was a bit skeptical at first, being that I was the bane of his existence at Hogwarts and that I'm almost old enough to be his father. But then, due to my nature, I gave in and decided to give it a try.
After months of dating, he had managed to convince me that he really loves me. Our first month was spent on courting. Harry had taken me out more than once on a restaurant in muggle London. It immediately became our favorite place to date. He also gave me priceless courting gifts. But most of all, he places my head on his thigh and caresses my hair while speaking softly of his feelings until I fall asleep. Being a submissive, I couldn't be happier.
The day when he popped the question was one of the best days of my life.
His wedding proposal prompted me to tell the secret that nobody but my mom knows about. I told him that I was a male bearer and that I am a bit submissive behind my professor persona. To my shock, he just smiled and told me he loves me even if I can't carry children. He even had the two-thirds of the Golden Trio to accept me in their brood. Molly was the happiest as she told me that she's finally gonna have the chance to put some "meat into my bones" as she puts it.
We spent a lot of time knowing each other even more. Harry made me feel as if I was meant to exist. Like I was someone special. He gave me the self-worth that I have today. The first time we made love was after our bonding ceremony a few years later. He constantly showered me with affection and even more after I got pregnant with our first child, Jamie.
He looked like a perfect mix of me and Harry with his jet black hair, onyx eyes and a nose that he thankfully got from his sire. We bonded together a lot as a family. It was engraved in our minds to give Jamie the childhood we never had. But all good things must come to an end, I guess.
Harry had applied for an Auror position when Jamie turned three and a half. He told me that he'll manage to balance work and being a father. I had honestly hoped to Lady Magic that he would.
Well I thought wrong.
Our home became a house, a place to merely stay than to live. So I had decided to move away with Jamie.
We weren't always like this. There was a time when he would be there with me and Jamie, giving all his love and time like a father should be. But those days were short lived when he started to go home less and less. Granted, we hardly every spent time with him anymore.
At the age of four, Jamie slowly adapted of his father's absence. It had been hard at first, with him constantly crying for his father. I think he somehow got used to it but then I noticed how much baby boy became much clingy to me. Whenever I play with him, he doesn't want to let me go, like I was gonna disappear if I went out of his sight.
The first strike happened during Jamie's fifth birthday. Everyone was there at Grimmauld Place wishing Jamie a happy birthday.
Well, except for his father.
Draco asked me where Harry is. I told him that he’s still at work, but then he started to rant about how Ron had managed to come despite of being an Auror as well. He stomped over to the redhead and proceeded to ask the same thing. Ron made his way over me and told me that the Auror Department didn’t have any cases earlier so he went home early. When all of the guests finally left, Jamie insisted that we wait for his father before we head outside to celebrate. The night bled deeper as minutes turned to hours. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep on the couch so carried and I tucked him to bed.
I too didn't stay long after that. The moment the clock struck twelve, I changed out of my formal robes and opted for a nightshirt. But even as I lay on our bed, I can't help not to fall asleep. I guess the coldness and the emptiness of the bed contributed to this. In the end, I spent the night casting tempus to keep track of the time.
It was almost four in the morning when I heard the floo. The footsteps halted for a moment before it became louder and louder until the door opened. I felt the bed dip behind me as familiar yet foreign arms wrapped around my waist.
"I'm so sorry I couldn't make it to Jamie's birthday, Sev. I swear I tried to get away but then there was this case and I--"
"Tell it to Jamie, not me. He spent his birthday waiting for somebody who didn't appear! And don't you lie to me, Harry! Ron told me that there weren't any current cases for the Auror Department earlier!" I argued as I tried to get away from my husband's embrace.
"There aren't! But after Ron left, Kingsley barged into the room and assigned me and Dawlish on a new case about a death eater firing unforgivables at a muggle bar."
"How can I be assured of your words?" I say as I finally face Harry.
"I, Harry James Potter, hereby swear to only tell the truth about what has happened for the last 24 hours to my husband, Severus Potter. If proven lying, be punished by Lady Magic as she sees fit. So mote it be." His vibrant green eyes bore into mine with so much expression that I almost forgave him on the spot. I raised my occlumency shields once more before I started asking him about what really happened.
Surprisingly, he just repeated what he said earlier. He then proceeded to explain how sorry he was for missing Jamie's birthday earlier. He told me that he'll make up for it before kissing my forehead and spooning me against his chest.
Nevertheless, he did spent time with Jamie before going to work the next day. Jamie was happy to bond with his father. His smile lost its expressiveness when Harry told him that he’ll be leaving for work, though. But for me, those five minutes weren't enough for the hours we've waited for him.