Because of the heart
The feeling was all too familiar.
Painfully surreal.
The clang of the door when Hyunju realized what had happened.
The look of terror was all she could muster, The twisting in her stomach once she heard the lock.
Bolting to door as if for some reason- she believed it would open once more, a fleeting moment of pure desperation.
all too familiar..
Hyunju remembered it well, the days in the army, before the blooming of her now blossoming life- The strictness of one’s heart that mustn’t intermingle with one’s emotions.
You’re heart- your emotions, can cost you your life
And yet your life is nothing without emotion, isn’t it?
She hated it.
That confusion- that terror.
She vowed to never let herself succumb to it. And yet she too craved that emotion.
Was it foolish to believe she could escape it?
Fear, sadness, desperation?
Fear since the start of this perilous- fucking game.
Sadness in watching all the people around her- Scramble and fight for that chance of a new life
Desperation.. Because as much as she hates to admit it.. she is also scrambling for that chance…
A chance at a new beginning..
To change
To live
To be SEEN.
Not as who she once was, To be seen as a whole. As herself.
And of course now… the horror she felt was immeasurable.
That strain, it clings to your stomach and slowly lurches upwards.
Hyunju had learned to burry it. But this?
The Sound of the lock… the slamming of distant doors
The gunshots… now being fired repeatedly, RINGING through her ears as she simply gathered her strength to look through the doors.
Fear, Sadness, Desperation.
She truly can’t escape it can she?
As much as she tried, it still clung to her like a vile sickness..
Why?
Why is she feeling like THIS?
What reason could it?-
“YOUNGMI? YOUNGMI-“
Gritting teeth, disheveled hair- the sting in her palm as she slammed on the door from the inside
A fading cascade of bullets- A chorus from hell slowly getting quiet by the second
And screams…
Unruly and savage.. Weeping and dying
Hyunju could barely see past the wall building up her tear ducts.
A flash of this distant feeling becoming more prominent.
She doesn’t think, only feels.
At least in this moment, she really FEELS. And that wasn’t her first mistake.
Because she let herself get close
Let herself gather hope
Hope that she had finally seen what it was like..
And what would that be?
The doors opened, The sound of clamoring and the steady breaths from the other people in hyunjus room were staggering
She heard player 333 mutter something but she couldn’t care any less
Or well, she was too distracted with her own building of thoughts
Limply moving forward to push her weight to the door and slowly step out
Fear…Sadness…Desperation..
Emotion itself.
What would be the reason for such insolence?..
….
…
….
….
…
…
..
.
“…unnie..”
….
…
..
.
Hyunju felt her legs tremble
Eyes only widening slightly as mouth stayed agape
A quiet, staggering inhale was heard as she felt her hands twitch, which is just one of her nervous tics. However, Hyunju couldn’t turn her head even if she tried.
So she merely shook her head ever so slightly, Eyes clearing as she laid eyes on a blurry silhouette.
…
..
.
Ah yes
What would be the reason for such insolence?
hm…
Well, why does one bother to feel anything at all?
Hyunju stood still, the trembling in her hands continued as another word was spoken. Yet she never wavered
“y-….young-….”
….
…
..
.
it’s simple really…
As mentioned earlier.
It’s because of the heart.
~~~~
“Unnie!-“
Youngmi fell short of her words as she was suddenly grabbed by the taller woman, A stuttering breath that nearly winded her cut her off as she felt hands on her shoulders and face
An intense glare- No, a timid, Slightly nervous expression was plastered on player 120s face.
Youngmi couldent even get a word out before she was back to staring at her again
this time, words and questions flooded out.
“how- w-when?!, you were on the floor- I heard you call i swear i did!- i’m- youngmi i’m so sorry- i-“
It was as if trembling hands were switching between shame, Worry and disappointment.
Youngmi simply stood still, taking in the situation but also taking the time to examine it.
….
And then it all just- stopped.
And youngmi blinked as player 120 simply pulled away
There was a glint in her eye… and yet there was also this- Sense that she felt… Afraid?…
No no, that wasn’t it..
Youngmi stepped closer as she stuttered
“the room- the room next to us- i mean the room next to you ended up a player short so they pulled me in before i could even grasp what was going on- I didn’t have time to think i just- I’m okay- I’m fine, i’m sorry, I should have been more careful-“
Hands extended out once more, only this time when youngmi expected to be held- they stopped just before they reached her, but it was almost a begrudgingly type of movement
Youngmi locked eyes with her again
“No- no!- Please don’t be sorry. Let’s- just… let’s…”
her eyes darted from the room she were just in, glancing over to the guys who had grabbed youngmi in the first place
They looked relieved. But also… terrified.
Most likely because they had barely escaped death just now. And so did youngmi…
Hyunju glanced back to the shorter girl
…how could someone- after going through THAT…
Those guys were clenching to their garments gathering their breath, And yet youngmi was just-
Staring….
…
“let’s go, there’s still one more round left right?… We have to get on the-“
before she could finish, Youngmi grabbed one of hyunju’s hands firmly as they began to walk to the spinning platform for the last time
Hopefully… the last time..
She held her hand firmly as youngmi glanced back up
Granted, she was still trembling, but there was a part of her- this- profound part of her, that desperately wanted to try.
…
Youngmi felt a squeeze on her hand as she tried locking eyes with hyunju once more, Player 120 wasn’t looking at her, she was looking ahead.
And youngmi took a breath, That’s right. Just look ahead.
That damn music started up again, The steady tempo of chimes played as players gathered and nervously awaited for its end
Hyunjus thoughts cluttered with the attempt to hear the conversations around her, Possibly a sense of strategy could come to mind-
Anything, anything at all!
“So- we’d… groups…2”
She paused, Turning slightly to face the other group, Did she hear that right?
No. What if it’s untrue. It’s a just a guess.
She glanced down at youngmi who was busy watching the people around her
she held her breath, That strain in her chest coming back. So painful- So Real…
And the spinning stopped- A sudden blare of the music changed from ominous to perilous.
“two players”
Her eyes widened as she felt meek eyes on her own
A sudden flash of events waved through her as she looked forward to the room right in front of them.
This time. this time for sure.
Hyunju wouldn’t make the same mistake again-
She wouldn’t dare-
She grabbed youngmi by the shoulder and practically lifted her up as they ran forward
Stumbling slightly as the building in momentum increased-
The sound of screaming and blaring horns was heard as a slam of the door was made in seconds
A sudden bolt in adrenaline quickly coming to its end after mere seconds.
And then, there was silence..
A serine..almost wishful silence..
Hyunju glanced to meet the shorter woman’s gaze, and to her surprise
She was met with eyes already on her.
And not even a second after, That silence was replaced with horrific screams- Youngmi staggered back as she still clung to her hand
Hyunju took a glance out the room- Noticing the vast amount of people stumbling over themselves in a bleak attempt to escape.
Among them, hyunju also noticed the face of one of the men who grabbed youngmi in the last round.
She turned her head from the scene. Taking the time to look at youngmi entirely
goddamnit..
She was still staring at her..
…as much as hyunju detested long stares like that…
Why.. was it so surreal?..
It was alarming.. just how can one person stare at another for so long?
And why was it so unfamiliar..
Hyunju detested unfamiliarity as well…
Yet she didn’t dare take her eyes away.
And there was silence…
In some sick twisted way.
There was simple silence.
…
The unfamiliar feeling.. those unfamiliar eyes..
The strange unaccustomed stare, that makes you feel real.
In this moment, in this inhumane game.
Why is it, this is the moment hyunju felt truly seen?…
…
The click of the door as it opened was heard, their attention switching to the speaker of the room
“Congratulations, The game is now complete”
and just like that.
The silence was over.
~~~
Cold. That was the best way to describe it, after the Mingle game. Tension was in the air as the amount of players had dwindled entirely.
Hyunju could still hear the ringing of the screams..
Damn it all.
This place really was getting to her wasn’t it..
But she needs the money. It’s the only way for her to-
Before hyunju could continue her thoughts, a tap was felt on her shoulder, Glancing upwards to meet youngmis gaze.
Truth be told.. There was definitely tension between the two as well.
…who would blame her?.. after what happend?
And yet.. youngmi still looked at her like that.
Timid…but..also curious
Youngmi smiled ever so slightly before handing hyunju a half drank water bottle
“here..i saw you finished yours already…And i’m..not that thirsty anyways”
She extended a hand out
“please..”
Hyunju smiled politely, simply holding the bottle as she hesitated to drink
And youngmi seized the opportunity to take a seat just slightly away from her, but close enough to be nearly shoulder to shoulder
Youngmi simply looked around at first, Noticing everyone else in their own respective groups. Yet she stayed silent
But it didn’t feel awkward.. at least not to her, It just felt…normal.
Honestly, youngmi was never an extrovert to begin with. she was always the one typically away from groups or people, she confided in the simple things in life and sadly..that was one of the main reasons for her downfall..
Can’t exactly do much in life when you’re people skills are so bad you can’t even look them in the eye.
..which is pretty ironic..
Youngmi glanced at hyunju as she took a drink of water
..since for some reason she didn’t mind it as of now
She really hoped she wasn’t being seen as annoying or anything…
That would be the last thing she wants.
But she felt compelled to speak this time.. for some strange reason she really did want to try…
“…unnie?”
As soon as hyunju glanced over to youngmi, she looked away, it was a gut reaction but she quickly ignored it and chose to stare once more
“yes?..”
She fiddled with the pant leg as she spoke
“Are you feeling ok?…”
And hyunju almost looked confused, she masked it with a touch of humor to hide it
“..what? yeah i’m fine!.. Just..you know..here”
She looked away, Taking the time to finish the water she was given
Youngmi tilted her head slightly as she let her eyes linger on the more finer details as hyunju drank
The way hyunju carried herself was strange to her, Of course, not in a bad way. It made her curious.
Youngmi had a pretty good sense of reading people, Or well, she got so used to people watching so things like behavior and mannerisms are easy to decipher.
Sucks that she can barely grasp her own.
She was mostly scared, shy and i guess she’d have to admit she wasn’t exactly doing well on the confidence scale. To be fair, the most exciting thing she’s done was go to the library and secretly take glances at the adults section from time to time.
Funny how this game is basically going 1 to 100 on her terms of…everything really.
…but hyunju? She led everybody in the six legged race, helped start the momentum of motivation…
Helped youngmi with those kind words of affirmation.
…she voted to stay…But could youngmi really blame her?..Everyone was there for money… Even her.. If she left now, Youngmi would have enough to pay off her debts. but she would have barely enough leftover to find somewhere else to live..
especially since…it’s pretty unlikely her parents would ever want to see her again-
“youngmi?.. you’ve been staring for a while-“
She snapped out of it, Fidgeting with her hands as she spoke
“oh sorry… i didn’t mean too-“
Hyunju nodded, Eyes flickering down to youngmi’s hands then back to her eyes
she felt a twinge of disappointment at those words, just a twinge..
Sorry i didn’t mean too
Right, to be fair most people who stared at her for too long would end up glaring- even staring in confusion.
So why would that change in here?
hyunju glanced back up to youngmi as she spoke
Those eyes…God, What was so weird about this?
It frustrated her. She just couldn’t put her finger on it
So she chose to ignore it for now.
“Youngmi?”
“yes?”
the answer was instant
she still held her gaze on her. Awaiting her words
“I’m going to vote X next round”
She still didn’t meet her eye, But she noticed youngmis hands stopped moving, and she heard a steady breath that youngmi herself didn’t realize she was holding.
A comforting silence was felt.
Hyunju spoke timidly
“And i’m sorry that i voted circle after we all agreed that-“
A small, Dainty giggle was heard, Quiet and yet, Hyunju met youngmis gaze. It was a similar expression to when youngmi has asked hyunju to join her team.
Worrisome but relieved…
“I’m glad…”
And hyunju didn’t bother to look away this time, Thankfully, in this moment, her confusion- her fear, even her frustration. It all faded blissfully away. At least for a second.
…those eyes..
Hyunju nodded, words not forming the way she had wanted
and youngmi was the first to look away, Continuing to talk
“And if we get to leave, we can all eat a proper meal together…Do you… have a favorite type of tea?”
this time, it was hyunjus turn to stare.
Maybe it was the close encounter with death- or the fact her friend had also just came back from near death..
But this sudden hope, it felt odd to indulge in.
Hyunju had gotten used to shortcomings and disappointment. it wasn’t anything new to her, But… After everything they’ve gone through? it doesn’t hurt to indulge right?
….she felt her eyes gleam ever so slightly.
Just for a bit..
“actually i’m.. more of a coffee drinker..”
she fiddled with the zipper of her garment
“Ah i see… in that case..”
She took a moment to think, Glancing back with a softer expression as a thought came to mind
“there’s a cheap cafe near my house.. it’s pretty nice. And it’s quiet..good for reading..”
Hyunju blinked blankly
“is..that an invite?”
There was a pause as youngmi nodded her head excitedly
“yes!.. if that’s alright with you that is..i was just hoping it would be alright and-“
hyunju listened to her stammering, unknowingly fixing her posture as if she needed to be presentable for some reason.
I mean..she was indulging..
Youngmi continued to ramble, playing with her fingers until she was cut off once more
This time, hands extended to reach youngmis, Stopping her fidgeting for a moment as Hyunju smiled halfheartedly
“I’d like to go…Have you been there many times?..”
She lit up
Such a contrast compared to before..
Maybe it was better this way.
“Yes..mainly alone but I preferred alone time with my thoughts.. they have really good herbal teas- and coffee!.. even if I can’t drink too much of it or I start to get sick-“
She paused, hyunju staring at her plainly it endearingly. Listening to her carefully.
even if hyunju wasn’t necessarily aware of it, she always seemed to talk to her much more softly compared to the others
“Ah- sorry sorry, I’m rambling..”
She attempted to tug her hand away, mainly to cover her face but she felt a small squeeze
“No please, continue”
And there it was again..Those eyes..
Soft and curious…Truthfully, hyunju still felt weary of them. But…She’d try to figure out what was wrong later…For now…
“You mentioned it’s good for reading..Do you like reading?”
Youngmi smiled sheepishly
Hands still Intertwined as she began to speak once more still speaking quietly but hyunju could tell, she was a bit more vibrant..
“Yes i do..I went there after school mostly, But its always a great way for me too relax and-“
And even if she didn’t know it, Hyunju felt that strain in her chest fade the tiniest bit-
“Attention players, All participants must get into their beds in approximately- 5 minutes. We trust you have come to your final voting decision and so We shall resume the voting process tomorrow. I will now repeat this message- attention pla-“
Hyunju looked around at all the others, now moving to their beds. Among them, 007 and 149 Took a glance over at them both. Youngmi let go of one of hyunju’s hands to wave as hyunju simply nodded in response, of course, they took the time to walk over to exchange some words
Young-sik was pulled over by his mother as she put a hand to her shoulder
“Oh my, youngmi how are you feeling? Are you alright?”
She looked down for a second and nodded with a slight smile
Young-sik glanced to hyunju and smiled while he talked
“Are you guys going to Sleep any time soon? Best to get a good nights sleep before tomorrow!”
“Yes yes! Tomorrow we can all leave this place and finally have that dinner!- oh, i should ask this now so I don’t forget! Drinks should be a must. I do have a bit of fermented sake that I’ve been saving for a special occasion! Granted it isn’t much..but it’s still something to celebrate!-“
“Mom we don’t even know if they drink! Eh- hyunju, you seem like the type of person to drink right? Is that okay?”
The type of person to drink?
Hyunju thought for a bit, honestly she wasn’t much of a drinker…Not to mention she really preferred sweeter drinks or something simple..
Wait- what was she saying?…They don’t even know if they will even get the chance to leave tomorrow-
And yet they’re already getting hopeful about something that may or may not happen-
What’s the point if it’s not set in stone?-
“I’d like some as well”
Young-sik and Geum-ja turned to young-mi with a surprised look
And hyunju turned to see the meek girl stare at all of them
“Really? You like fermented sake?
she nodded sheepishly
”…ah- i must say I’m a bit surprised”
Player 149 laughed a bit as player 007 smiled
“I didn’t take you for a drinker young-mi!”
She turned a light shade of red
Hyunju watched how her ears were noticeably more red then her face
It was…endearing in a way.
But youngmi turned to meet her gaze, as if she felt her staring
She was smiling again..And hyunju smiled back slightly
“What about you unnie?”
She smiled once more, this time hyunju was able to notice how Youngmi manages to smile with her eyes as well, creasing a bit as she showed off her smile
She’s just indulging.
“Ah well..I wouldn’t say I’m a drinker but- yes id like some as well”
Geum-ja smiled as she clasped her hands together, she took a glance at youngmi and then another to hyunju
For some reason, she laughed as she looked to her son who was equally confused. But she brushed it off.
“Great! Yes yes, now then, let’s all get some sleep! Especially you girls, you’ve had a long day and you need all the sleep you can get, now come on young-sik! If i stay up any longer i think i might develop a headache!-“
She was hurriedly pushing her son away as he silently protested to the sudden change of pace
Hyunju was confused- but didn’t pay mind to it, at least until she felt a slight squeeze on her hand, a thumb brushing over hers as she felt youngmi begin to stand up
Ah right.
Hands..
Youngmi stood, hands still held tight and since the height difference between the two girls was pretty decent, It was just enough for hyunjus hand to be slightly tugged
Youngmi simply everted eye contact, turning away from her sure, but she tilted her head slightly as she spoke
“We should probably go to sleep, I’m going to go use the bathroom first though.. Would you like to come as well?”
Even if the lighting wasn’t the best..And lights were going out in at 3 minutes.. Hyunju took a second to notice the back of youngmi’s ear.
Still red in color. Voice so soft..
She was a little glad youngmi wasn’t looking at her stare, Her eyes softened a bit as she answered
“Yes..good idea”
She got up, slowly making their way over
She felt eyes on herself.
Specifically from the people in the woman’s bathroom.
Hyunju had grown used to it. Obviously she didn’t mind it one bit.
Actually, that was a blatant lie.
To be fair, You could never truly ignore something like that, how could anyone ignore the voices of people telling you “its not natural” “its vile” “inhumane”
And that was only the tip of the iceberg.
You can’t ignore something like that.
But you can learn to bury it…. and in this moment? It’s honestly all she can really do.
As much as hyunju tried to fix her bangs, really nail polish, do her eyeliner, fix her hair-
It never felt like enough
Such a pity really.
All of these eyes on her and yet she doesn’t feel seen.
She felt judged.
Only judged.
One of the woman next to her noticed hyunju, she was glaring at her. As if she wanted to say something. But the woman just looked away and furrowed her brow
Just bury it.
Hyunju let the sink water pool into her hands as she washed them, noticing that her nail polish is beginning to chip with each day.
She let the water pool again.
She felt another woman stare, this time, she was looking her up and down, and proceeded to turn around whisper something that Hyunju couldn’t make out.
Why is it even in a place and time like this? People could always find a way to remind Hyunju of her flaws?
The water in her hands began to drip to the bottom of the sink.
Why couldn’t she just escape those looks-
The woman left in the bathroom had finally left. leaving hyunju alone in the bathroom to her thoughts.
The water started pooling over her fingers. Dripping increasingly faster with each second
Would she even be able to escape it at all? She just needed the surgery. But is dying worth it?- god. And the death of other people- the people around her. The fear and the terror. The stress and the dammed feelings of- FEELING anything at all-
The door to the bathroom opened once more, This time hyunju glanced over expecting to see a guard to tell her to hurry up. But no..
“Unnie? Are you okay?..Lights went out a minute ago.. I asked to check in on you and-“
Those eyes…Still staring..
Hyunju stayed quiet
But youngmi never wavered, she took another step and spoke even softer
But those eyes never changed.
And it scared her-
She just couldn’t understand why-
Why did that scare her?
“I noticed you were in here for a while and i was worried-“
Hyunju turned off the sink and looked down
“Youngmi”
And there was silence.
Only this time, it felt empty.
“…yes?-“
“..Please stop looking at me like that”
She turned her face around, hyunju heard a small stagger in youngmis steps
“..what?”
“Just- please..I can’t..I don’t understand-“
“Understand what?…”
She felt it once more.
That strain. The lurching in her chest. That pure desperation.
“Unnie?..”
She clenched her hand to her face
“I don’t want you to look at me..Please leave”
There was a crack in her words, a subtle tell that hyunju was finally succumbing to what she dreaded in the first place
Her feelings- her heart.
So insolent and foolish.
And yet she persisted
“What.. do you mean by that?-“
“Youngmi please-“
“But I don’t understand-“
“You don’t- I can’t- I can’t, i need to be alone and i-“
I can’t explain it
She heard steps behind her, and she turned her head in response
Youngmi stood still once she did, what a pathetic sight…Hyunju was sure she must have looked like a mess by now.
She already couldn’t stand to look at herself right now. So her flaws were all she felt could be seen.
Hyunju was hunched over the sink, hoping to mask her complexion- her bangs- smudged eyeliner, in hopes that youngmi would just go-
She heard more steps behind her
“I said go!-“
Her words were silenced by a sudden embrace that nearly knocked the wind out of her- Deja vu from this morning cutting her off as she felt arms wrapped around her increasingly tighter
Head buried against her looking down.
Silence.
…
Hyunju couldn’t move, she didn’t dare move
She felt that sting fade. The strain flowing up to her eyes as she tried her best to avoid letting tears fall.
She grabbed onto the shorter girls shoulders as she persisted to put distance between them
But youngmi held strong
“I wont look…”
Hyunju froze. The words came out meekly, yet they managed to stop Hyunju entirely…
“I promise i wont look..just please…don’t…force yourself to- do this-“
She couldn’t feel her legs, she wanted to fall and perhaps never rise back up.
Because those words struck her like a truck. Soft, heavy words..
It was just becoming too real. It was too much..
Bury it.
Hyunju let her arms fall to her sides as youngmi spoke
“I’m sorry unnie…i wont look i swear..”
There was A sudden tremble of hyunjus bottom lip
Bury. It.
Hyunju was sure she look horrible. Disheveled- a mess.
Bury…it..
But…she finally understood.
Understood why she was so troubled. Understood what really was frustrating her.
Hyunju couldn’t stand anymore, letting her body slowly fall to the floor, but youngmi went down with her as they were now on their knees, But hyunju rested her head on youngmis shoulder, and of course, youngmi promised.
“I’m sorry im so sorry- I can’t..i just can’t..”
“It’s okay..It’s okay”
“G-god im terrified. Why the hell am i terrified-“
“You’re allowed to be terrified.. Breathe”
Hyunju cringed at herself, Trying her hardest as to not breakdown in front of her
But youngmi persisted
“Im sorry I left you behind-“
“I survived-“
“I’ve been so out of it i-“
“That’s okay, breathe for me”
“Im sorry for yelling”
She felt a hand on her head, a small squeeze was felt as she sobbed into her shoulder
The crook of her neck would probably be a mess by the end of this. How hyunju dreaded the fact her eyeliner would be a mess.
Youngmi still spoke, softly speaking simple phrases over and over again until they became more of a jumbled steady- melodic sound to hyunju
Those eyes..
It frustrated her, because the reality of it was almost too much to bear. Too sick to understand.
She felt herself shake as her hands loosely grabbed onto youngmis shirt. Like a child.
That even with all her progress, her effort to try and distance herself from this- this pain. It never meant anything in the first place. It was all useless.
“It’s okay..”
That ever since this horrid game had started, the only thing on her mind was finding a way to start over, to live her life anew.
To distance herself from her old one.
But that’s impossible isn’t it.
Because in some sick twisted way, as long as she looks in the mirror, it will always be with her.
That strain.
The lurch.
But what’s even worse?
Crying your eyes out on a bathroom floor where at least a hundred other people have perished in sick vile ways in this sadistic game-?
Being near the people who care about you in this moment, knowing well that they can be easily be taken away from you. Your insanity becoming immeasurable?
the slow trickling feeling that eats at you alive because you aren’t even sure if you’ll be able to live normally afterwards?..
No.
No that’s not it.
It’s sad really.
That’s not what comes to hyunju’s mind.
Weeping and trying her best not to scream.
A girl nearly twice as short as her comforting her.
No, the worse part about all of this?
Hyunju has never felt more seen.
Those eyes..
Those soft..examining eyes..
The softest eyes hyunju has ever known ever since her transition. The first ever person to talk to her without a glimpse of disgust or pity, the first person to look at her with sincerity instead of pity or contempt.
A lovely smile..
A kind voice- A voice she hasn’t heard in years.
Eyes that have finally allowed her to be SEEN…
hyunju didn’t want it to be like this.
She didn’t want to meet such an incredibly serene person.. in a hell like this..
But of course, Like ever single- shitty fucking thing that’s happened in the past years..
Hyunju had to fight once more.
She almost lost her today..
Almost lost that feeling again.
And that broke her.
That fear-
She was tired.
She was scared and she hated herself for it.
Hyunju had never been so- so devastated.
…
…
..
“you’re doing well.. just breathe…”
.
..
…
…
“i’m right here..take your time”
…
..
.
..
…
And yet..
…
..
.
Ironically enough.
She was equally grateful.
….
…
..
.
“Sadness.
Fear.
Desperation.
Sympathy…
All Victims of the heart.
However,
We need our heart to live don’t we?”