i like pink, but not brown
Monday, and I'm back at school. Nobody asks where I was Friday, not even Mizuki. They're too busy talking to Shinonome-san to care about my wellbeing. I know this because my first class of the day is literature, and so is Mizuki's and Shinonome-san's. The two talk the whole class, and Mizuki doesn't bother to spare me even a glance.
I look down at the paper in front of me. Maybe it's not good that I finish my work faster than everyone else. Because now I'm here staring at my finished literature paper, too scared to go up and turn it in. I have Kiseki with me in my bag, but I'm scared of getting him out. In fact, recently, I've been too scared to do anything that sets me apart from anyone else, draws attention to me.
My hands feel really shaky. I need to turn in my paper, but I can't. I'm glued to my seat. So instead, I stay in my seat for the rest of class, and I don't turn in my paper. I'll do that another day, even if I get marked points off for turning it in late.
At lunch, I wait in Mizuki and my's usual spot and pull Kiseki out to show Mizuki. I wait. Nothing. Kiseki assures me they're just running late again. I wait more. Still nothing. I start to worry. I wait some more. Still nothing. I apologize to Kiseki, put him in my bag gently, scoop my bag up, and walk as casually as I can to Mizuki's class prior to lunch. I get there and Mizuki's not there. I look around in all the usual lunch places. The courtyard, no. The actual cafeteria, no. Any classrooms, no. I pass the art room and catch a glimpse of pink hair.
Oh. Why are they in the art room? I peer through the door's window to see a head of pink hair facing someone with brown hair. Oh. Okay. That's fine. New friends happen. Maybe Mizuki just doesn't have the heart to say no to Shinonome-san. Makes sense. After all, I am—well, was— Mizuki's only friend here at school, and vice versa. It does make sense that Mizuki would worry about losing the opportunity of a new friend.
So I walk back up to the rooftop and eat my lunch in silence.
Mizuki doesn't show up at all.
———
For the rest of the day, I am unable to pull myself out of my seat to turn in any assignments. The only time I stand up is when class dismisses and everyone leaves. And sadly, this happens for the rest of the week.
I sit in my first class of the day and listen to Mizuki and Shinonome-san talk about random stuff, I avoid getting out of my seat until the bell rings, I go to lunch and eat in solitude, I go to the rest of my classes and don’t turn in a thing, and so on.
I’m starting to worry that Mizuki doesn’t want to associate with me anymore. But that’s crazy. Of course they still want to talk to me. It’s just that new-friend-hype. It’ll pass. Hopefully. Though…the least they could do is at least say hello to me before or after school…but they don't even do that.
Has Mizuki gotten sick of me? No…they would've said something, I'm sure. I'm overthinking this. They'll go back to talking to me as if nothing happened, as if Shinonome-san never showed up. It'll just take some time. I'm sure by next week, Mizuki will be with me on the rooftop again, talking about their dreams on fashion design.
Yeah.
That's what'll happen.
Nothing to worry about.
I think.