Just Know I'll Be Here Waiting
The light of the afternoon sun hits the metal rail of the balcony where Glinda stands. The skies are clear today, barely any clouds in sight. She’s looking up, sunglasses on, just to see if anything was to pass. The skies. A lot of her time is spent looking up at these skies, as these are the skies Elphaba once so beautifully flew in. She knows, logically, that she should stop. She should stop hoping for a glimpse of green in the skies of Oz, she should stop clinging onto Elphaba, as it has been years since that fateful day Glinda saw her die.
But oh, her heart is still as foolish as it had always been. She cannot fully believe that Elphaba is dead.
How pathetic of her, really. To still hope for someone that may never return. To still love someone who left on purpose. Why is she still waiting? Glinda can hardly answer the question, for she does not have a sure answer.
But she loves Elphaba, and if she is to return, she’ll be right here waiting. No matter how long.
“Lady Glinda.” She hears someone call behind her, snapping her out of her thoughts.
She takes the sunglasses off before she turns. She sees one of Chuffrey’s servants, Jaiyana, standing by the door. “Jaiyana, what is it?”
“Lord Chuffrey is calling you.”
Oh for the love of her sanity.
“What for?” She asks.
“I am not certain. All he said is that he wishes to speak with you.” Jaiyana responds.
“I see.” Glinda nods, turning back to the view of the sky. “Tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Of course.” Jaiyana responds, before walking out and closing the door behind her.
Glinda sighs. What has she even done? She wasn’t truly effective as Throne Minister, after all. She may have revoked the Animal Adverse laws, but it is not like the Animals trust it. And she does not blame them, for the years of being hunted down like monsters have taken a toll on them. Of course she would not blame them, she recalls what happened to Doctor Dillamond. Even if she had not favored him as a teacher, being murdered simply for the reasons that he is not human, and rightfully wants to be treated with basic decency by the law and not hunted down, had him killed. It is understandable to the animals to not trust the fact that the laws against them had been revoked and that their rights had been restored.
At least she managed to make it safe for the Animals who stayed.
She is still a politician, being married to Chuffrey gives her no choice but to stay in that court. Through this, at least, she can do something for Oz. Something that makes it better to live in by all civilians.
Something Elphaba can return to.
No, that is foolish.
But Glinda has always been foolish, has she not?
Enough of this, she still has to speak to Chuffrey. Oh how she despises the man. But she must smile and appear polished, as she has been doing so since she was young. However, the more she smiled, the more she felt the light of her eyes disappear.
Glinda does a once over of herself in the mirror. How perfectly wealthy and shallow she appears. Such a suitable outside appearance for those in the elite to gaze upon, it is as if she is the same person she had been when she arrived at Shiz.
But no, she is no longer her.
Across the room, the Grimmerie sits. Every time her eyes land on that damn book, she is taken back to the day Elphaba and her had parted.
“Hold out, my sweet.” Elphaba’s words echo in her head as if it had been said yesterday.
Her heart slightly speeds up whenever she recalls how softly Elphaba had referred to her as that. How Elphaba had kissed her that day, it was amazing as it was tragic. But how much longer can Glinda hold out? She does not know, not at all. Even though she has been for a long time, she does not know how long she will last doing so.
Shaking her head, she gathers herself and makes her way downstairs. These halls feel like a void every time she walks through it. They’re barely decorated, it has a few framed paintings, yes. But for a hall as long as this, one could at least fill it up more. But no, Glinda is not allowed to do so, this is Chuffrey’s house, not hers. And he sees no use of that.
She cannot say anything against the man of the house, it does not matter that she is the woman of the house. He owns it.
When Chuffrey sees her, he calls out to her. “Glinda. Sit over here.” He gestures to the chair across him. Sighing softly, Glinda does as told. Chuffrey leans forward, his head tilting slightly. His elbows rest on the table, and his hands move with his words. “I’m sure you are curious as to why I have called you.”
“It is past lunch, Chuffrey. I am more curious as to why you have not mentioned it earlier instead.” She responds, keeping her tone formal enough to not reveal how much she does not want to speak to him.
“I suppose that would have been a wiser choice.” Chuffrey agrees. “But that does not matter right now. You see, I have been given a task overseas.” His face is a perfect mask of stoicism, but Glinda hears the arrogance dripping in his tone. “I depart in two days. At night specifically, so arrival by morning is ensured. I shall travel by ship. And as my wife, you are expected to see me off.”
“I see.” Glinda answered.
Of course, this is about their image as a married couple, isn’t it?
“People have been questioning your loyalty to me as my wife Glinda. They rarely ever see you with me, and it is starting to affect our image.” Chuffrey leans back in his seat. And she guessed correctly. He’s not necessarily wrong, Glinda rarely allows herself to be seen with Chuffrey unless it is fully required.
Oz, Glinda does not want to be here.
“So you must show up for this. Preferably, wear something similar to what I will. Just to emphasize the fact that you are my wife.” Chuffrey stated, his tone indicating he wants no further argument.
“Of course.” What else can Glinda say, after all? She got herself into this mess. It is only fair that she upholds it. “Is that all?”
“It is.” Said Chuffrey.
“Alright then, I shall return to my room.” She stands up. Before she could leave, Chuffrey asks her, “Why do you insist on having a room of your own, Glinda? It is unbecoming of you as a wife.”
“This marriage, as you know, is nothing more than an agreement.” Glinda responds. “And one room to myself is all I ask. Besides, no one knows what happens inside the house.” Not giving him a chance to reply, she turns and goes back upstairs.
Upon arriving in her room, she shuts the door and lets out a long sigh. If she were braver, she would have left him. If she were braver, she would have left Oz. But no, she is tied to this place in more ways than one. At least, in two days, she will be given a little bit of peace in Chuffrey’s absence.
Looking at herself in the mirror, she sees how much she differs from that bright eyed girl at Shiz. Her blonde hair already has some silver mixing in it, her eyes are tired, certain lines on her face indicate the masking she has done in the past. Oz, she knows that even her voice has its changes. Sometimes she wishes she could just be the girl that night in the Ozdust ball again; dancing with Elphaba, watching others dance around them, then escaping the ballroom to their room.
Then, unexpectedly, the light outside the open door leading to her balcony disappears, leaving darkness.
But as quick as it came, the light reappeared.
Did…did no one else see that? Surely everyone else knows that it is extremely unusual.
Running to her balcony, she looks out again. But this time, she looks down on the streets where people pass. Surely, there will be a hint that others saw it too. Surely there is a sliver of a reaction that will indicate that she did not go mad.
Glinda lets out a harsh exhale when she does not see a single reaction. The ones crossing the street mind their business, the guards of this shallow imagery of a home remain in their posts, and the servants she sees from her vantage just continue as if nothing happened.
What in the world had that been? Was that a hallucination? Maybe she just didn’t see much as she is quite high on a balcony to truly survey the reactions of others.
But still, she saw that.
What was it?
A slight feeling of something fizzling overtakes her for a moment, it radiates something that feels powerful. It was brief, but she felt it.
Oz, could it be some kind of sign of anything?
Maybe, maybe not. But that was not normal. And whatever it had been, it definitely meant something.
It has been years. She is still suffering a heavy loss. She has changed, yet she is the same.
Though there is no reason for her to even have hope for an ounce of mercy by whatever divine audience may exist out there, she does what she has been doing all this time.
She waits.
After having to do everything in her power to walk through rainy skies, to fly without her broom, sees it. The shape of a palace, the sunlight hitting it just enough to show that it is green. There. The city she’s been searching for.
Elphaba is so close to Oz again. She’s reached it.
All her days stuck in that forsaken wood are no more–at least for now. At least, if Glinda will still want her there. Glinda is just past these gates that are surprisingly less strictly guarded. Still guarded, but it does not seem to be as tight as it had been in her time.
She’s almost there.
Yet as she nears Oz, she recalls the day Ozians believed she died.
She no longer remembers how to say the teleportation spell she had used that fateful day that fucking bucket landed on her head. She could have–oh how she really could have died. The water had landed on some parts of her face, her right hand, and the left side of her neck. Instinctively, her right hand goes to touch the scars on her face left by the water.
That was too close of a call. If she had not remembered that there had been a teleportation spell in the Grimmerie, had she not read it while skimming the Grimmerie before that day, she truly might have died. But she had not, she survived and she has the scars to prove it. Though the spell shoved her in some abandoned wood, there had been a few Animals kind enough to help her that reside there.
She has been there for about four years, she thinks. Yes, four. But how long has she truly spoken to Glinda? Not counting their farewell, it has…
Oh she doesn’t know. But it definitely has been way more than just four.
The cloak Glinda gave her during their first parting in Emerald City still hangs on her shoulders. It followed her when she casted that spell, unlike the hat. The one last hint of Glinda she carried with her.
Elphaba is tired, she has been walking for five days now–yes, she flew every now and then, but she needed to conserve her energy if she was to do any magic. She’s old, after all. She does not need a mirror for her hair has grown quite long, and she can see the silver strands among the black. She barely slept too. But she’s so close. She already sees the shadow of Oz.
Then, the wind starts to blow harshly.
Fuck. She had not brought anything to tie her hair with. Why had she forgotten something so practical?
She could fly, but she’s old. Her body probably will not withstand winds this strong. So, she keeps walking.
A particularly strong gush of air hits her. It makes her stagger back slightly, until something happens that makes properly regaining her balance a second thought.
Her cloak was almost blown away. No. No, she cannot lose this.
She had been quick enough to grab it before it could go far, but it made her topple on the ground. Tying it back on her, she looks around–a stone. Okay, she remembers a spell that can make her craft whatever with magic. Okay. Quickly, she mumbles the spell, and the stone turns into a pin. Thank goodness, something that can pin her cloak to her clothes.
Once she gets back on her feet, another harsh wind almost knocks her over.
Damn it, she’ll have to wait for this to pass.
But maybe…she can give Glinda some sort of sign she’s alive, that she’s longing for her. That she’s coming for her.
There was another spell she remembers, a spell that was labeled Sending A Signal. She remembers reading it years ago. She sees a tree standing tall nearby, and Elphaba walks towards it. A good corner with just enough wind resistance. Sitting down, she tries her very best to recall the spell and cast it.
For a moment, nothing happens.
Then the sky goes completely dark.
What?
Before Elphaba could fully question what just happened, the darkness disappeared, as if a light switch was merely flicked on and off.
And the craziest detail is that the wind stopped too.
Did…did it work? It seemed to have worked.
Sighing, Elphaba leans back into the trunk of the tree. She’s tired. The spell must have drained her. Heh, she’s truly getting old. Or maybe it is the exhaustion of her venture alongside her age. She’ll rest for a while, just a little while. So that her trek to Oz doesn’t exhaust her further. The more energy she has, the faster she can finally return to Glinda.
Glinda…
Has she been holding out? What does she look like now? The face in her dreams is quite young, Glinda’s appearance surely has changed in some way. Does she dress the same way? So many questions scatter in Elphaba’s mind.
Is Glinda still married to Chuffrey?
Chuffrey. The man’s name makes Elphaba scoff. She knows, logically, that the marriage between the two is purely an arrangement, an agreement. But she wonders…did the years make Glinda fall for him?
Stop it, Elphaba. She scolds herself. She can’t fathom the thought, she truly can’t.
She has changed so much. Did so much. Will Glinda still want her? She’s no longer the same person–it’s not just age or the scars, but she is not the one Glinda knew when they parted.
Elphaba sighs once more. She closes her eyes and leans her head back against the tree. It’s quite weird to think of, looking forward to Oz. When she left, she always looked back, but not at Oz specifically. She looked back because she knew who she left behind. But now, all she needs to do is open her eyes and the shadow of the City will be in front of her.
It is not Oz she wants to return to, the place has never truly been home for her. But someone in that same place is the reason she has memories of happiness, memories of love with no shame. Her darling, Glinda, has cried for her the day they parted. And Elphaba is sure she did when she “died.” So, she returns to Oz for her.
Whether or not she’ll stay is up to Glinda.
She does not want to stay in Oz. No. She wants to stay with Glinda. She doesn't know if Glinda too, will want her to stay, nor if Glinda will decide to go with her. She holds no hope. But please, if any deity exists and is listening, I just want her in my arms again, even if it is for one short moment.
It has been too long. Elphaba thought she could bear knowing that she left Glinda behind for both their sakes, but she couldn’t. Oh, she loves her way too much.
She should be stronger than this, but she isn’t.
Hold out. Elphaba tells herself. She’s waiting.
And honestly? Elphaba too, had been waiting.