Chapter 2
When she was young, Glinda never really had quiet, contemplative nights. Her mind always moved as fast as bullets. Her thoughts are as scattered as marbles spilled on the floor; like a game of tug of war pulling her in different directions, filling her with sheer excitement for the next day, things she could do. Or, her mind would forcefully pull down the thoughts she knew would trigger her, and thus it focuses on the superficial things in order to not truly look. But now? Her mind is quiet during the night, or at least, she doesn’t hear her thoughts anymore. They’re there, but it is not loud or heard, unlike when she was young.
The backyard of Chuffrey’s estate isn’t that bad, really. She rather likes it here. The cool air makes the night cold enough to bundle up in something warm and cozy, the stars are a good view, and it’s quiet enough to grant her at least a little bit of peace of mind.
At least she’ll get to feel a little better in the house she lives in when Chuffrey leaves in two days.
Adjusting her scarf and coat, Glinda exhales softly and does what she always does, look towards the Western sky.
The night sky is always so beautiful. It reminds Glinda of the nights in her old dorm at Shiz at the balcony, sitting on the railing while Elphaba studies on the seat. Those nights were wonderful. They'd spend their time talking for hours, sometimes they'd lose track of time and realize the sun is already rising, then they would simply decide to watch the sunrise. How Elphaba would point out the constellations, while Galinda looks at the architecture of the other dorm buildings.
The memories was interrupted by the sound of someone’s feet landing nearby. Turning, she sighs. “Liir. I thought you’d be gone for a while.”
Liir dusts off his clothes, holding the broom over his shoulder. “I will be. But it seems I will be gone a lot longer than I anticipated.” He sighs. “I simply wanted to let you know as a courtesy.”
Glinda chuckled. “You truly are growing.”
“You say that as if you knew me as a child.” Said Liir. “I have not been young since then.”
“No, boy.” Glinda smiled. “While you were clearly more mature than most youths I’ve met–more mature than I had been, more mature than your father and mother too. But deep down,” She took a step forward. “No matter how realistic you try to be, I see the way your eyes sparkle with hope when a situation presents it, before shaking it off. I also recall you trying to appear nonchalant just to not be affected when it does. I see the wonder in your eyes when you are presented with something trivial to others but fascinating to you.”
Of course she sees that, it is the Elphaba and Fiyero in him.
“Those are coping mechanisms. Common ones, might I add.” Liir reasoned.
“Also,” Glinda continued, ignoring his statement. “I once recall you lighting up the first time I told you ‘good job.’”
“I had not.” Liir crossed his arms. Though, his face flushed slightly.
Glinda laughs. “Yes you have.”
He sighs. “Why are you out here, anyway? I was supposed to knock on your balcony, but I managed to spot you beforehand.”
“Just thinking.” She responded.
“About my mother?” Liir asks. “You do know that you are about…40…”
“49.” Glinda says to him.
“See? Why do you still wait?” She understands his confusion, truly. Everything suggests Elphaba is dead after all. “It has been years, yet you do that.” Liir huffs.
“I guess love makes people lose basic logic.” Glinda answered.
“It seems.” Said Liir. “But still…I’m not even clouding myself with my mixed feelings about her this time around.”
“I have always wondered why you seem to have some sort of push and pull about the way you view her.” Said Glinda.
Liir paused, his shoulders slumping. “Do you want to know?”
“While I do wish to, it is purely up to you if you wish to share it.” She answered.
Liir sighed. “Oh whatever. I guess you’ll be the first to know why.”
He looks up, facing the night sky. “She had…well, she was complicated back in the cloister. She wasn’t exactly terrible, she didn’t harm anyone. She was strict on enforcing rules, but that’s a usual nightmare for kids. Though…” He puts his hands in his pockets, avoiding Glinda’s eyes. “She wasn’t nice either.”
“I see. And how did you know she was your mother?” Asked Glinda.
“I didn’t. Not at first.” Said Liir. “Everyone around me kept saying I was hers, yet she didn’t even bother with me. She treated everyone as a nuisance, though. I was no exception. But still, it was hard to reconcile that I might be her son, when she acts anything but.”
For a moment, Glinda saw Elphaba talking about Frexspar again. But she shook that thought away quickly.
“But then,” He scoffed. “I don’t know what happened. I accidentally broke a window out of recklessness. She yelled at me, and I was crying.” Liir finally meets Glinda’s eyes. And she sees the confusion swirling in it, the unanswered questions in his head still lingering. “Then, she just stopped yelling altogether. Out of nowhere. I don’t know why she stopped yelling, but she had. She just stared at me for a while, then she left. Since then…she’s been nicer. Kinder. At least to me. Then more encouraging, more…”
Glinda knows what word is about to come out, parental, but she can tell that Liir is still conflicted.
Liir clears his throat, immediately speaking as if to cover up what he was about to say. “Then we left the place, she was still an ass. Still mean. But not like before. She was kinder in some way back in Colwen Grounds. I don’t really know what to think of her, not like you do.”
“I understand, Liir.” Glinda places a hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. You have every right to feel as conflicted as you do.”
“I’m surprised.” Said Liir. “I thought love makes one lose common sense.”
“I love Elphaba, yes. And yes, I do seem to lose logic because of it. I guess…Well, let's just say I've seen someone else with a similar situation once before.” Glinda pats his shoulder lightly. “I just suggest that you find peace. And don’t get killed, boy.”
Liir can sense the anxiety in that last sentence, but he doesn't point it out. “I won’t die.”
“You better not.” She chuckles, but the worry remains. “Now off you go. Be careful.”
“I will.” He hops back onto the broom and flies off.
Alone once again, Glinda decides to sit down on the lounge chair nearby. Sighing, she looks at her left hand, where her wedding ring is supposed to be. She doesn’t wear it if she is by herself, she can’t stand to look at it. That thing, that contract of agreement that she has to wear on her finger, does nothing good but serve as a reminder of what she had lost.
The past is always close behind her, no matter how long it has been.
Oh the tragedy of it all. Two young hopefuls, two girls with dreams, went from loathing to friendship, and crossing that line without properly addressing it. Then the separation.
She still thinks of the day Elphaba kissed her.
It’s pathetic of her, really. To still think of something that happened years ago, just because it stirred up every emotion in her heart. But alas, Glinda has never been someone who is strong enough to not let emotions get the best of her. She sighs, leaning back. The midnight blue sky reminds her of how the lights fell on Elphaba during the Ozdust, and the stars remind her of how Elphaba’s eyes seemed otherworldly under the light of the sunrise of their dorm room’s balcony.
Years went by, and Glinda still cries at night, hoping, yearning for Elphaba to return to her. Alas, nothing ever happens. Sometimes she wishes she just hadn’t changed, that she was still that selfish, self-absorbed bitch from back then just so that her heart will stop aching as much as it does. But nothing can ever be rewinded, no. So much has changed. Glinda too, has changed. But her love for the woman never has, and it probably never will. All she can do now is hope. Wait. For how long? She does not know either.
It really should not have come to this. All she needed to do was get on that broom. But the more she thinks of it, getting on the broom might have killed them both.
“If you’re alive,” Glinda mutters to the wind. To Elphaba. “Return to me, at least for a moment.”
Though Glinda isn’t sure that if Elphaba was alive and that if she saw her again, she wouldn’t be mad in some way. Why would she not be? If that were the case, all her pathetic attempts at mourning and the hallucinations she gets of Elphaba would be for nothing.
Then again, she can live with that, if she could have th woman in her arms again.
She remembers the weird flicker of the sky earlier today.
Maybe it is a sign.
She hopes.
For now, she’ll just be here waiting.
Elphaba awakens due to a tree branch falling on her foot. Slowly opening her eyes, she yawns and stretches before slumping back slightly. Looking forward, her eyes adjust to the light of the sun and the brightness of the sky, but it is enough to see the shadow of Oz.
Just a little more.
She can endure this trek, it is the closest she has been since the past two months she made this journey.
I’m almost there, my sweet. Wait for me.