Mockingbird

Harry had been so busy that he had forgotten it was nearing Christmas when Mrs. Weasley's owl had arrived. She had implored Harry to vest the burrow for Christmas, assuring he was welcome, and that she missed him, and hoped to see Harry soon. Harry still felt uncertain, why didn't Mrs. Weasley blame him for the death of her son, like a normal person would? As if she could hear his thoughts, which she probably could, Death spoke up from where her and Fate were cuddling on the couch across from him.

|| She feels like you are another son to her, and she would never blame you. Now you are wondering why, but the voice in your head is your survivors guilt talking. ||. Now Harry was confused, survivors guilt? He knew what he was and why Death would think he was feeling it, but it was his fault. It was very much his fault Fred, Colin, and so many others were dead, it was very much his fault that so many families felt the grief of losing a loved one that had passed on too early.

"I don't have survivors guilt. I know it is my fault."

* No Harry, it is not. They fought for what Voldemort threatened to take from them, their freedom. You just showed the rabble it was possible to fight, they made the decision to fight themselves. Now stop sulking, go outside, get gifts for them, and say goodbye after you celebrate with them one last time. * Fate chastened Harry. She knew he would miss them terribly after he left, but hopefully it would be lessened by spending time with the family and having the closure of a goodbye. Harry gave a soft smile, nodded, and left to go follow her advice.

Harry paced in front of the fireplace, feeling nervous and jittery. He had left Grimmauld Place under a glamour, and when he flooed to Diagon Alley, he was reminded of all the devastation Voldemort had brought to England. So many places still had boards covering the windows and people walking along the Alley looked around fearfully, as if waiting for someone to come out and attack them.

It had cemented Harry's decision to travel back in time, and if he couldn't help Tom Riddle change, then kill him before he harmed the world. But now, Harry's insecurities came rushing back, and he was worried about the Weasley's again. He heard someone approaching from behind and swung around to see Death coming up to him. When she reached him, Death squeezed Harry against her. Tucking her nose into Harry 's hair, she whispered words of encouragement, knowing Harry needed someone to bolster him.

Death was felt a sharp pain in her heart, Harry was damaged, so very damaged. His physical wellness was good now, he ate regular meals, was fit, and his scars had healed well, but it was Harry 's mental state she was worried about. Harry had a tendency to bottle everything up until he blew up, and then he brushed it off like nothing had happened. She hoped that another broken little boy she knew would help him, and that Harry would help him in return.

Pulling himself away from the motherly embrace, he smiled softly. He did that often Harry realized, smiling wasn't something he had often done in the past. Reaching into the floo powder pot, stepped into the flames and called out "The Burrow."

As Harry landed, he tumbled out into a pair of arms. Looking up, he saw Hermione's bushy hair and straightened up, and hugged her. Hermione gave a wet laugh, and clutched Harry closer. Harry hadn't seen Hermione in months and Merlin he missed her. He had forgotten how comforting her hugs were, and how safe he felt with her. He felt another pair of arms surround them, pale, freckled ones, and knew Ron had joined them.

All the guilt Harry felt came crashing back, why had he left them in the first place? These two people were the only ones he had truly trusted in his entire life. He had loved Dumbledore, and still did, but he didn't trust him. Dumbledore always had an agenda, but Hermione and Ron were the ones who supported him through everything, and stayed with him even when he blew up at them. Even if there were a few strained moments, their friendship was stronger because of it.

Harry felt tears soak his head and shoulders, and he started crying as well. They all fell to their knees, and held on for what felt like hours. Hermione was the first to pull back, wiping her face with her jumper sleeves. Then Ron pulled away, tear tracks littering his freckled face, and Harry wiped his eyes. It an extremely wet voice Harry whispered to them, as they weren't very far from each other

"I-I missed you guys so much." Harry's voice choked and cracked often in that simple sentence, but it was true. He had missed them so much it hurt.

"We missed you to idiot. Do you know how scared we were when the letters we sent you came back?" Ron choked out, month away from the first person to make him feel like he mattered had made him emotional. Hermione's eyes wouldn't stop leaking tears, but she had pulled herself together enough to slap Harry upside the head.

"Don't you EVER do that again Harry James Potter-"

"It's actually Hadrian Jameson Peverell now, Harry for sh-"

"I don't care at the moment. I can still call you Harry. You will stay in my sight, all right? I thought you had-" Here Hermione chocked on her words, as if it pained her to say them.

"We thought you might have been killed, kidnapped, or severely injured." Hermione sounded so broken Harry dragged her into his arms as he stood up.

"I'm here now, alright? I am alive, I am fine. I came here to enjoy Christmas with you all, and to see you two. I am so very sorry that I ignored your letters, but I needed the time alone, time to myself, time to gather my thoughts." Ron slapped Harry on the back, a small smile on his face.

"I think that's enough emotional stuff mate. Mum is cooking up a feast, and everybody's here to celebrate. Let's go greet everyone."

Mrs. Weasley had squeezed Harry to near death when he entered the kitchen, and Ginny did the same. When they sat down for the Christmas Weasley Feast, everyone had been happy to see him. Ginny had sat next to him, and kept flirting with him. He ignored it, and when the food was gone, they all moved to the living room to open the presents. Hermione and Ron had seen how uncomfortable he was with Ginny's flirting, and had Harry sit in between them. Harry got another Weasley jumper, a tiny model dragon, and a few other things.

Then a question he really didn't want to be asked was. He knew Mrs. Weasley meant well, but Harry wanted to avoid the problem.

"So Harry dear, when do you plan to get back together with Ginny? Everybody wants to know, you two looked so good together." Harry took a deep breath, and looked at Ron and Hermione, both of whom knew the answer to the question, he had talked with them earlier, and they both supported him.

"I don't plan to get back together with Ginny. I realize I love her as a sister, and I felt an attraction to her because she was something stable. I will not marry her or date her. I would not be happy, and I would never support a marriage where one or both do not love the other." Silence was met with this statement. As Ginny opened her mouth to say something, Harry hurriedly began talking.

"I also came here to tell you all about a recent decision of mine. I am leaving soon, and I don't know when I'll be back. I am traveling the world to learn more about the magical and muggle cultures. I wanted to tell you all goodbye, for closure for the both of us." At this Hermione blew up.

"You mean to tell me you're leaving? When you've just come back to us? Why didn't you tell us? We would go with you in a heartbeat! In fact-"

"I need the time Hermione, I have terrible PTSD, and I need to get away from all the reminders. I need time to heal my way, it's not you two. If I could, I would drag you both along with me, but I can't. Plus, you two have a life here, you both have a chance. I can't go outside as myself for two seconds without getting bombarded but rabid fans. I understand if you two don't wanna talk to me-" Harry's speech was cut off by Hermione dragging him and Ron into the kitchen and hugging Harry once they were out of sight of everyone.

"Harry, it's not the fact that you are traveling for an indefinite period of time," She stopped at Harry's raised eyebrow and corrected herself, "Okay, it is a little bit, but it's more of the fact that you didn't tell us. We will always support you, you're our brother Harry, nothing can change that fact that we love you." Harry smiled at her and thought about how even if he was leaving, this was his second favorite Christmas, right after the first one at Hogwarts.