Somehow this isn't how you imagined your life to go. A vodka bottle on the other side of your passed out body, pills all over the floor, and a gun on the table. Surely, one hell of a way to start the week.
It all started with that thing in your childhood that you now don't really remember but the pain lingered all the time. Then your boss decided to write you off for two weeks of break. Okay, you blew off in the break room but that was only because your most annoying coworker found you at the worst time ever. She started to say things and you responded, she provoked you but what were you supposed to do? Stand there and take her shit? No. Fucking. Way. You just stood up for yourself. That's all you've done.
But overdosing because of that? You started feeling like you forgot something.
Oh, right, your mother called you up again about how you wasted your whole life with overworking. Even though you loved your job, you still tended to work a little bit too much. But it made you forget everything, everything that you can't remember right now, because of your current state.
When you took out the bottle, it felt like a good idea to deal with the pain in you, but now some good memories started to show up. Mostly with Taylor, your childhood friend. You're still in contact with her, though not as much but still talked to her pretty often.
She was one of your first ever friends. You both were there for each other when something happened, good or bad, it didn't matter. You loved each other for yourselves. When the media started to turn against Taylor, you were one of the only ones who stuck on her side. You helped her through a lot. And she did the same. But you grew up and had different ideas for the future. You wanted to become a detective and she wanted to become a singer. So, after a while you both had no time for the other. That didn't seem to affect your relationship but still, you couldn't talk too much.
She was 6 when you were 4. You met each other at a playground.
You caught her eyes within the moment you arrived. Your mom just dropped you off and went to shopping or something like that. You couldn't remember. You were so sad that she just left you all alone like that, and even on a playground you never even heard of. And the little girl with the big blue eyes noticed your sadness immediately. And she gets up from the sand to make her way to you.
"Hello," she smiled and waved her hand. In her left hand there was a teddy bear. Her blonde locks were mesmerizing and just so pretty.
You waved back. You weren't sure with your words just yet. You were also scared of this girl. She looked like a ray of sunshine without any clouds and just a big blue sky.
"What's your name?" she tilted her head. Her voice was soft and charming in the most innocent way.
You struggled with answering to her question at first but took a breath, "My name is. . . [Name]," you said with the softest tone you ever used.
Her eyes sparkled up as you introduced your name, "Your name is so pretty!" she said as she held the biggest smile you've ever seen.
Since that day you were inseparable. She fastly became your best friend and you couldn't be more grateful for her.
Thinking of her, your phone's constant buzzing slightly brought you back to reality. If there was any left of it for you.
You reached for your phone on the table. But your hand fell on the first try. A slight groan left your lips and tried to open your eyes with soft and slow blinks. You tightly tried to grip onto reality even if it was really far in the moment.
You reached again and pulled your phone down to the ground, next to your body. At the slightest move it felt like you were doing so much more. The pills were really working and you weren't sure if you regretted it or not. A part of you perhaps did, but another didn't.
You used every strength in your hand to turn your phone to your face and see who's calling at such times.
Suddenly something went through your body. Your eyes that was once so close, now were somewhat wide open. It was someone you least were expecting right now.
Taylor ♡ was written on the ID. Taylor was calling? At two in the morning?
You picked up.
At first you heard the hesitation in her voice, "Hey. . ." she started, "Did- did I wake you up? I'm so sorry if yes-"
"No," it left your mouth weakly. She was about to start apologizing for a whole five fucking minutes and right now you just weren't able to hear it.
"[Name] you sound off. Are you. . . good?" she asked. Her voice was filled with worry. It made your heart ache.
You couldn't even answer to that question. What were you supposed to say? That you were currently on edge of dying? Or lie?
"I just. . . I, I don't," you started but couldn't even finish the sentence. Your mouth was dry and your voice was trembling even if you didn't notice. You blinked a few times. "Taylor, I. . ." you didn't even know at this point what you were saying but it made no sense at all.
Taylor on the other line really started to fill up with worry. Something in her head told her that she needs to see you. Right now.
"[Name], I'm coming over. Don't worry, you have to hold out, okay?" she made sure you would say something back to her as she got ready to head to her car. As she drove to you, she didn't dare to hang up. Always asked you something to make sure you won't fall asleep or pass out. She didn't even know what was going on. She hoped once she arrives, everything will be fine.
Taylor banged on the door, hoping that you'd answer her with little to no luck. She felt desperate to get into the house. She was helpless and had no idea. Her whole body was trembling with fear. What if she won't make it on time? And something will happen to you without her? The darkest thought started to her mind until she found a safety pin in her pocket.
So she used that to get in.Basically broke in.
The sight in front of her made her heart drop to her stomach. It didn't take her much time to notice that gun on your side, the alcohol and the bottle of pills. She wouldn't have ever believed in her life that she would see you in a state like this. But she wanted to help you with everything she got. She just wanted to be there for you.
She raced to your side and dropped to her knees. Taylor gently wiped the hair out of your face. Tears started to bottle up in her eyes. Was there any reason to hold back now? No, so, she didn't. A few tear drops dropped on your face. She made you her number one priority. She wouldn't forgive herself if she lost you right now. She can't.
She helped you get to your feet. She didn't waste any minutes, not even a second. She took you down to her car and seated you on the passenger side. She needed to take you to the hospital as soon as possible. She had a feeling you won't be happy with her decision, but what should she do then? Wait till you wake up? And then what? But what if you wouldn't wake up? She can't even bear that thought in her head. She just needs you back, right now, even if that's impossible.
Her vision was blurry through the drive. It made it extremely hard but she put everything aside to save you. And bring you back to her.
As she was waiting in the lobby, a lot of thoughts made it to her mind. All the what ifs.
Two hours and around 4 cups of coffee later, a doctor called her into her office.
"Hi, I'm Dr. Williams. I was treating Miss [Last name]," she started.
"Is she okay?" she asked with a rush.
The doctor nodded, "She will be. But she can't leave for a couple more days. Just to be sure that she is fine to go home," she explained. Taylor nodded at her words and understood everything.
"Can I see her?"
There she was. Standing on the side of your bed when you woke up. At first you couldn't believe your eyes that she was there.
"T-Taylor, what-"
"It's okay," she assured you and put a hand on your shoulder, "you don't have to tell me what happened. Just be okay," she whispered and tears tried to fight their way onto her cheeks.
She looked down before she started to speak again. "I need you, [Name]. I need you back in my life. Since I left you, I never forgave myself. I was so caught up in chasing my career that I didn't see when you needed my help. And I want to make up for that. And I think. . . I came to the conclusion that," she sobbed, "you mean so much to me. I love you, [Name]. And I want to be by your side everyday. I want to make you laugh, smile, blush, just- I just want to make you happy. I want to live my life with you."
When she finished you didn't even know what to say. Your eyes were widened. You never even brought up your feelings for her or even hinted at them. But now hearing this from Taylor, herself? Maybe everything you've ever wanted in life.
A small and gentle smile creeped up on your lips, "I would like that," you softly replied.
She bursted out crying, giggled and smiled. Taylor never ever felt happier than right now. This is all she ever wanted, really. Now all you had to do was to get out of this hospital, try to actually search for help and live your life with Taylor.