Chapter 3
''I seriously hate you.''
''You're so funny, perhaps your jokes would land better if you wiped that frown off your face.''
Sunday just barely held himself back from snarling at the other, annoyed in every sense of the word as he was dragged around by the taller man.
Truthfully, he had been caught off guard when Gallagher threw him over his shoulder and marched right out the manor, leaving him zero time to process what was happening and react properly. Which equated to screaming and punching him until he woke up everyone or beat Gallagher to a pulp. Both sounded very alluring.
That was also the reason he was forced to march around town with the other man, a firm hold on his wrist as they walked through dark alleways, Sunday expressing his irritation every two minutes or so. If he had to suffer, he'd force the other to suffer with him.
''Where are you even taking us?" Sunday spoke up once more, unable to stay silent for long, lips pursing in petulance, wishing to be the furthest he physically could from Gallagher. Perhaps he was a liar; the rhythm his heart followed proving the exact opposite of what he swore was the simple truth. Perhaps to sin was in his nature.
''We are almost there, hold on for just a bit longer.'' Gallagher, taking a glance back at him, couldn't help but smile in fondness, reassurance always at the tip of his tongue, ''It will be worth it, I promise.''
Sunday wasn't convinced.
Still, a part of him was nervously excited to see where Gallagher was taking them, eyes glancing around the dark walls with some distate. He seriously hoped they wouldn't end up in a bar of some sort.
He tried his best to avoid stepping onto anything of unknown substance, eyes glued to his shoes as he wrinkled his nose in disgust, still very much aware of the firm grip on his wrist.
Sunday hadn't glanced up once, so it was only natural he hadn't realized the change of scenery until Gallagher had come to a stop, causing him to also pause in his step.
The moment he glanced up, bright lights that consisted of muted yellows was all that filled his vision, wincing in surprise. Blinking long and hard to reduce the pain caused by the sudden brightness, completely ignoring the chuckle that arose from his companion.
Soft and vivid yellow laterns filled the streets, shops open late at night being the main source of noise with people buying from stalls that were scattered around while also taking relaxing strolls.
It was beautiful, cozy in a sense Sunday barely felt even at the place he called home.
''You're prettier when you don't hide behind that cold facade.'' Gallagher's soft voice made Sunday look at him in puzzlement, unaware the frown that decorated his face had long been replaced by childlike wonder.
''Trust me this once?" Sunday could feel the warmth that was concentrated on his cheekbones, wings ruffled up in embarrassment as he nodded his head, letting Gallagher lead the way as he pointed at things around the market. If questioned, he'd deny the way his ribcage ached with need, denying his lungs their very much needed oxygen in fear of letting anyone know of his sinful feelings.
He'd also deny the change in Gallagher's hold on his wrist, the older man's hand having shifted to hold onto his own, palm to palm, warmth to coldness.
Sunday wished to live in ignorance for just a bit longer. Soaking in the act regardless of the sin.
''There's a very pretty spot a bit further.'' Gallagher's voice had been raised, attempting to be overheard when accompanied by the hustle of the crowd. Sunday's ears were naturally sensitive, always atuned to the pain and suffering of others, so he needn't try hard.
The halovian glanced around with pure wonder, letting Gallagher guide them as his eyes tracked the joy written on everyone's faces, be it due to their lover or their family. It was a lovely atmosphere, so unlike anything Sunday had the pleasure of experiencing. He shouldn't be so ungrateful, father had given him everything he could ever want.
His shoes met wood and he turned back ahead.
Sheer adoration greeted him, a look that looked so natural and carefree on Gallagher's face that Sunday couldn't help but take a sharp inhale. He was breathing just fine, he knew, yet he felt like oxygen wasn't enough for his lungs whenever the older man was around.
''What do you think?" Gallagher's question snapped him right out of it, and he quickly glanced around, finding them to be standing in the middle of a mutely lighten bridge, a calm river right underneath it. People walked by them on occasion, yet no one batted an eye.
Sunday felt his shoulders tense in pure confusion, the sight of two men standing so close to one another, holding hands and being alone on a rather romantic place, didn't raise curiosity to a single person.
This wasn't right.
The moon was reflected on the surface of the calm waters, and the lanterns littered around created a peaceful atmosphere that had him momentarily relaxing. Even the breeze was gentle, making the chill in the air long forgotten. This was sinful.
''Pretty cool right?"
Sunday knew it was, yet to admit to it was an entirely different matter. If he admitted how pretty everything was, how pretty Gallagher was, how much fun he had, how would he hide his corrupted nature from the divine?
How would he be able to pretend otherwise if he admitted it, even once?
To know was one matter, to admit was another.
His lips formed around the words before he could stop them, heart tearing with every hopeful flutter, he was too far gone wasn't he?, ''It is. Thank you..for bringing me here."
A shy glance and a nervous shiver of his wings, a gentle squeeze at the strong ones that held his, ''Why..why show me this?"
The air that hit Sunday's back was cold, a reminder of the season and of reality, trying to bring him back to earth and what he knew simply couldn't be. The air that Sunday was breathing in was shared by Gallagher though, and it spoke of warmth and of love. It screamed of acceptance and of hope.
The decision had long been made.
''Do you truly not know, or do you pretend to be blind to it so I can pursue you further?" Gallagher laughed, and suddenly Sunday felt like he was at home, a warm blanket wrapped around him and his dreams softly cradled into his hands, ''Do you perhaps like the chase birdie?"
''It would be..a lie to say this is unpleasant.'' He hid his soft smile behind his wings, letting himself forget of everyone else, of everything else, for just one moment.
''Oh? And here I thought my advances were unwelcome.'' Gallagher lightly teased, taking the initiative to step closer, ''Well then. I believe you owe me a little something.''
The taller man tilted his head, a playful expression that screamed of trouble plastered onto his handsome features, ''After all, any man would have given up by now.''
Sunday rolled his eyes, the playfulness fully shared by him, ''So you want a reward for being so annoyingly persistent? Fine, I'll bite."
''A dance.''
Sunday paused and he swore everything had suddenly gone quiet.
''A..dance?" Sunday looked around at the people passing by, at the people standing on the streets not too far, and he furrowed his eyebrows, ''Here? With no music? We'll look ridiculous.''
Gallagher shrugged and tugged Sunday closer, moving the halovian's hands so they'd come to rest on his broad shoulders. Sunday tried his damn hardest not to flush, not to run his fingers down the toned muscles.
''Let them look, let them judge. There's no shame to be found if it doesn't harm anyone, now is there?"
Sunday paused, mulling the thought over, ''I guess not..?"
''That's the spirit.'' His waist was grabbed, and his chest was forced to press right up against Gallagher's. Feet guided into a gentle sway, one step to the right, one to the left, a pause, a twirl.
Sunday found himself smiling and laughing before he could get anxious about any on lookers.
Their feet moved at the same pace, a light spring to them as if the breeze carried them along, and perhaps it did. What with how light Sunday felt in the arms of the other.
He was aware people were watching, but instead of feeling shame, he felt ridiculously happy, and after a bit he came to know the whispers were fond instead of judging. How important one's mindset was in every little thing.
Sunday was twirled around, and he couldn't stop his lips from pulling into an imposibly fonder smile, hair swaying with the breeze, his strickly kempt appearance switching to something more free as he learnt how to breathe.
Gentle hands guided him around, firm in their hold yet not restricting, never daring to force him to feel anything but free. Gallagher's love was too much yet too little.
Sunday wanted more and more, he yearned for the freedom those hands promised, for the care they transmitted and for the desire held in them.
Yet it was overwhelming, to be loved so sincerely, without having to earn it or look for any catches. It was such a powerful rush of emotions that Sunday was getting dizzy just thinking about it.
''You look lovely like this." He was twirled around yet again, this time Gallagher stopping the motion mid-way, forcing Sunday's back to press hotly against Gallagher's chest, the taller man's arms firmly wrapped around his waist, ''So carefree, so soft, so stunning."
The words were whispered into his ear, the other's hot breath making Sunday's wing ruffle in both nervousness and excitement. He tried his hardest to ignore the warmth pooling in his cheeks, ''You don't mean that.''
They were still swaying to the music in their head, to the breeze of freedom and to the eyes of amused passersby.
''You are well aware I wouldn't dare lie in your presence. Not about this anyway."
A light kiss was pressed on the top of his wing and he felt his breath catch in his lungs, their dance slowly coming to a stop as they stayed in each other's embrace.
''The night's still young. Will you do me the pleasure of keeping me company, for just a little longer?"
Sunday had nodded before he could process the sentence all the way through, letting his heart lead him just this one.
The desire to spend more time with a man he had come to yearn for would be his undoing. A sin worse than hate, a sin that wouldn't be forgiven, regardless of how much he repented for it.
The fact it was named love was ironic. A disgusting coincidence.
Sunday couldn't find it in himself to laugh.
|-|
It was safe to say that after that, Sunday was slightly nervous to see Gallagher again. Which was why he had been dreading accidentally bumping into the other during his walks outside the wide corridors of the estate.
Their last interaction was anything but normal in his eyes, from taking a stroll around the streets, to holding hands, to dancing together. It couldn't be considered a professional interaction in the slightest.
Perhaps what Sunday feared more was the fact he had prefered it that way.
He had enjoyed watching Gallagher's expression light up when he laughed, he had taken pleasure from observing the other while he spoke, words always blunt yet never hurting. He had enjoyed holding onto him, for the first time in his life feeling like something was for him.
Gallagher made him feel wanted, accepted and understood. He made him feel like tomorrow didn't truly matter, not when today still had so much more to offer.
Sunday was scared of how the admitance of such sinful deeds sat on his tongue.
If asked he'd deny avoiding him though, Sunday was no coward.
Robin seemed to be onto him, having noticed his guarded expression when outside his office and knowing how unusual it was for him to be anything but apathetic or smiling in public. They were two sides of the same coin, two halves of the same soul, so he really shouldn't have been surprised she wasn't oblivious to it all.
''Are you alright?" Robin's airy voice was obviously layered with concern as she watched Sunday work from over his shoulder, her brother busy signing papers she couldn't be bothered to read through. She was worried about his mental state after noticing the way his shoulders were slumped in on themselves, Sunday sporting eyebags that made him look sickly pale.
She hadn't said anything out of respect for his pride, but she was getting worried.
Sunday didn't even glance at her, eyes trying their hardest to properly focus on the paperwork he was supposed to read over and sign depending on his opinion. He could barely think as of late though, unless it was about a specific pair of red eyes that is.
''Perfectly fine Robin.'' His hummed out reply didn't sound convicing even to his own ears.
Robin gently reached out and took his hands in her own, giving them a gently squeeze before she forced him to let go of the papers, ''Brother please. You're being an awful liar right now.'' She teased and pulled him to his feet, stiffling a laugh when he almost tripped over the chair's leg.
''How about we go for a walk?" She proposed perking up, it had been a while since they had spent time together after all. Sunday didn't seem to share her enthusiasm though, lips pursing as he nervously averted his gaze, his uncertainty obvious to them both.
''Let's..stay here, perhaps? My legs are too tired.'' He coughed nervously into his fist and led Robin to a couch he had resting backed up against the main window, plopping down with a sigh.
Robin wasn't buying his excuses, seemingly holding her tongue for the sake of keeping the peace they had just acquired. She took a seat gracefully next to him, the two leaning against each other for comfort and warmth on instinct.
They spent numerous minutes in plain silence, finding no reason to fill it with anything other than their gentle breaths, no words needing to be shared when their eyes always spoke louder than their voices.
Still, Sunday nervously glanced at her, uncertain whether to speak his mind. He rested his head on top of his hers, eyes unable to leave their glaring contest with the coffee table as he finally found the strength to speak, ''Robin, can I ask you something?''
Robin was about to pull her head away to look him in the eye when a gentle squeeze of her hand made her still, opting to hum in affirmation instead. She knew the other didn't want her to look at him, and sensing how vulnerable her brother was attempting to be, she chose to remain respectful of his wishes.
His comfort was hers after all.
''How..do you know if you like someone?'' He asked gently, his voice unable to be heard by anyone who wasn't pressed up against him, as if he feared divine judgement for even daring to utter such words. His father would have his head if he ever found out.
Robin visibly paused, making Sunday even more nervous as he felt the way his sister tried to process the sentence. He couldn't blame her, him liking someone? Impossible by society's standards.
Her tone wasn't judgemental at all when she found the courage to reply, Sunday allowing himself to quitely let go off the breath he was holding at long last, ''I guess it depends.''
''Can..'' He swallowed dryly, eyebrows furrowing as he took a second to word the sentence better in his head, ''Can you tell me how it felt for you?''
Robin hummed softly, her fingers drawing shapes onto his knuckles as she twirled a lock of her hair in her other hand, lost in thought, ''If I had to describe it in a way..I'd say its calming. It's like seeing your future in front of you, the one thing you've desired more than you ever knew. Does that help?''
Sunday wasn't sure, shifting his gaze to stare holes into a portrait of their family, his father's apathetic expression staring back at him. Sinner.
''How..did you know you liked her?'' He whispered, eyes unable to stray from his father's cold ones, the guilt and disgust that welled up in his stomach matching the nervous flutter of his heart.
Robin flinched, causing Sunday to snap out of his staring contest with his father's image in favour of checking in on his sister, ''You knew?'' She asked horror mixed with surprise evident on her face, her eyes wide as she tried to stop the way her bottom lip trembled.
He nodded slowly, grimacing in empathy at the frown on her face upon seeing his confirmation, her beautiful features losing none of their appeal. Robin had truly grown into a lovely woman with much beauty in all aspects, be it external or internal, and Sunday couldn't be more proud.
He swiftly tugged her cheeks upward, a playful attempt at making her smile, eyes softening in reassurance as he opened his arms for her, letting a quiet exhale once she threw herself into his arms, clinging onto his suit as she hid her face in his shoulder.
What could Sunday do but embrace her? Protect her from the world that was so set on tying her down when she was born to soar the skies? Hide her from those who were set on forcing her to fit in when she was born to shine brighter than them all?
''It's okay.'' He mumbled reassuringly into her ear as he held her close, swallowing the guilt of his own sins as he shouldered the burden of love, ''Nothing changes in my eyes Robin. It doesn't matter to me who you love.''
''But father-''
''He doesn't have to know.'' He shook his head and cupped her face gently, smiling softly in fondness, ''It will be a secret between us, just like the old times.''
Robin's face softened at his playful attitude, letting out a gentle laugh as she erased from her face the last remains of her hesitance and nodded, ''Just like the old times...I like the sound of that.'' She held out her pinkie for him.
''It's a promise.'' He nodded, interlocking their fingers tenderly, resting his forehead on hers, able to read gratefulness and love within the cores of her irises. Her eyes screamed of relief and freedom, and he tried his hardest not to choke on his shame.
How beautiful acceptance was. So sought after, yet almost never received. Not from those who truly made it matter anyway.
They stayed like that for a bit, Robin composing herself within a few minutes and returning back to her cheery attitude before long, ''Say, how come you ask such questions?"
Sunday averted his gaze for yet another time, fighting with his own tongue as shame threatened to twist his neck, ''No reason.''
''You're an awful liar when flustered.'' She teased and gently smacked her shoulder with his, making him chuckle.
''I'm serious.''
''Am too.''
Sunday rolled his eyes and knocked his head against hers as they stayed there, basking in each other's presence.
''Have you ever felt enarmoured by someone? Completely taken aback just by the sight of them?'' He asked softly, his hand playing with one of her curly locks and remembering their mother's hair, she would have been so proud of Robin. Her little girl had become the most beautiful flower of them all, having bloomed into the best version of herself. A voice to the pains of those who couldn't be heard, a healing balm for those who hurt and couldn't heal.
''I have.'' She nodded, ''Like you can't take your eyes off of them, right?'' Sunday paused and pursed his lips, mulling the thought over.
Did he feel that way about Gallagher? Could the nervousness he felt for the other be due to a crush after all?
As much as he hated to admit it, he knew fairly well by now that he found the other attractive. And he also couldn't deny the way his heart seemed to race when the other ignored all boundaries and forced them to share space.
His boldness, his determination, his hidden care for it all, had Sunday hooked before he could even process the feelings that arose.
He despised the other, that much he knew. Sunday hated the way the other disregarded his status, mocked him as if he knew something Sunday didn't, and played around with him as if it didn't cause dread to run up Sunday's spine. It was frustrating.
But he knew interest and intrigue were there, the line between love and hate barely visible, as if Gallagher himself smudged it before stepping even closer to him.
Perhaps Sunday wouldn't have minded, had Gallagher not been a man.
''You're down bad huh?'' Robin's teasing voice helped soothe him, even if he was a sinner, even if he was doomed to burn eternally for thinking this way, atleast Robin would love him.
''Father won't be pleased if he finds out.'' He chuckled humourlessly, a poor attempt at concealing his nerves and playing off how lost he felt. Like a child with no guiding light. It made sense, Gopher Wood was always the one showing him the way, and now his father wasn't there.
''So it's a man.'' She squeezed his hand in a gentle reassurance at his nod, ''Well, if he finds out, we are both goners, so it's fine.'' She tried to lighten the mood, and Sunday couldn't not appreciate her efforts.
She was probably as lost as he was, as uncertain as he felt, yet she was staying strong for him. Perhaps it helped that she wasn't the one closest to their father.
He laughed and nodded along, putting on yet another mask so as to not worry her further.
He wasn't like her after all, he was no angel, and there was no forgiveness for sinners of his nature either.