Hexing exes - Harry/Ginny
18 year old Harry was an idiot for many reasons. The most obvious would be his illogical belief that once the imminent danger of Voldemort had receded Ginny Weasley (notoriously independent and often violently furious) would run back into his arms and forgive him. After a minimal amount of thought, Harry realised that if she had done so she wouldn’t be the woman he loved. This realisation came two weeks after the war once most of the Death Eaters leftover were rounded up and Molly had, rather forcibly, encouraged him to move into The Burrow.
Over the month following the day that he died Harry Potter suffered 43 different jinxes, hexes and charms all sent from the same yew wand and muttered by the same ginger girl. Although it was exciting in its own way, to watch as 17 year old Ginny created new ways to ward him off, it became increasingly tedious as almost anything seemed to merit an imaginative new hex. Spending too long in the bathroom? Classic Bat-Bogey hex. Brushing her waist with his fingers while squeezing past her? Enlarged head for two hours. Attempting to apologise from a large distance with a megaphone, a corporeal Patronus by his side and a large bouquet of flowers? Good luck continuing upside down with webbed toes whilst your teeth grow disastrously long and all your hair falls out.
By the 44th time, Harry was fed up. Hermione and Ron had once again ditched him to do “couple things”, which he had desperately begged them not to go into more detail about, and the rest of the family were either helping out with George’s shop or off at their own jobs. This gave Ginny ample opportunity to dig into the moderately dark curses that she wouldn’t use with her mother around. Harry had spent the morning hiding around corners when he heard her footsteps and looking over his shoulder at the slightest movement. He was more terrified than he had been the entirety of the previous year and was seriously concerned that he may suffer a heart attack if someone stepped within five feet of him. Surviving Lord Voldemort was easy in comparison to surviving the wrath of an ex-girlfriend he was still in love with.
Harry decided that if he were to die a painful death then the least he could do was finish the washing up for Molly before she came home. He stuck his wand behind his ear, rolled up his sleeves and started scrubbing at a large pan with much more vigour than he ever brought to menial tasks in the Dursley home. Then a floorboard creaked behind him and he froze. There was another soft footstep and a small muttered spell and Harry pulled his wand from his ear and whipped around, casting a silent shield charm. Ginny Weasly raised a single eyebrow at him and pursed her lips, Harry had never deflected her spells before. She pointed her wand at him again and a purple light shot towards him, Harry deflected it again but smiled. She’d clearly been practising silent jinxes and despite his frustration, he was more than a little impressed. Her eyebrows furrowed and she moved into a fighting stance as he smirked.
“Titillando” Blocked.
“Anteoculatia” Stopped inches from his nose.
“Ducklifors” Pulled his left leg out of the way with milliseconds to spare.
This continued for a few minutes with Ginny becoming increasingly furious and red in the face from exertion as Harry eased into it; dodging curses was pretty much his entire magical experience. Harry had managed to move around the kitchen enough that he was now standing behind a chair at one end of the table with Ginny standing behind the opposite and holding her wand out, pointing across the length of the room towards him.
“Expelliarmus!” Ginny’s wand flew from her grip and Harry’s seeker skills came back into use as he jumped and grabbed it midair. Upon retrieving the wand he was immediately grateful for the solid wooden table between his face and her hands as they clenched into fists.
“Give me my wand back, Harry.” He took a step back.
“No.”
“Harry!” Ginny’s eyes were a little teary now and the sense of victory he’d been basking in tasted bitter. “Give me my fucking wand back, you stupid arrogant prick! Good for nothing Boy Who Lived who could sacrifice himself to Voldemort but wasn’t brave enough to apologise to his fucking girlfriend-“
“Ex-girlfriend.” Harry didn’t mean to say it, even thinking it made him want to snog a dementor but he had to say something to make her shut up. For a moment he was sure it was the worst possible thing he could’ve said. Then Ginny laughed, the kind of painless, raw laughter that he hadn’t heard for almost a year.
“We didn’t break up.” Ginny’s smiling at him now and he can’t help but smile back.
“I’m thrilled that you think that Ginny, honestly, but I definitely broke up with you.” Ginny shrugs and starts walking around the side of the table towards him.
“You tried to break up with me. A pitiful attempt if we’re being honest. You suggested that maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while but never forever.” Ginny steps forward a little more, standing about halfway down the table now.
“I remember it differently.” Ginny shrugs again and moves closer to him still. Harry studies her for a second, confident and looking so incredibly pretty in the soft light and the most idiotic idea he’s ever had comes to him.
“Ginny.” She cocks her head to the side as he steps forward. He inhales deeply and then exhales. “I think we should get married.” Ginny is silent, frozen for a moment before shaking her head and smirking.
“I’m 17, Harry.” He shrugs and steps closer again.
“We’ll wait a year then.” Ginny struggles for an excuse for a second.
“You haven’t asked my dad.” Harry laughs softly. He takes another step forward.
“Don’t pretend you care about that.” Ginny’s smile is huge and her eyes are bright.
“We’re broken up.” Harry waves her wand in front of her face as if reprimanding her.
“Nope.” He grins down at her. “Can’t take it back now.” He’s close enough now that he could reach out and touch her but he doesn’t.
“We’d have to live through my mum planning a wedding.” That does make Harry’s smile falter but he immediately recovers.
“We’ll elope.”
“And be thrown out of the family? No, thank you.”
“Fine, we’ll tell her close family only, in the garden and no cake.” He grabs at her sleeve and pulls her forward so their chests touch. She pouts a little.
“But I like cake.” He rubs his nose along hers and his cheeks ache from smiling so hard for so long.
“I have to be honest, I don’t really care.” Ginny laughs and then finally presses her lips to his. He’s distracted for the moment and almost doesn’t notice her grabbing his hand and prying her wand out of his grip. He bites at her lip and mumbles into her mouth. “I know what you’re doing.” She chuckles and then steps back, tucking her wand into the pocket of her jeans.
“What am I doing?”
“Accepting my wedding proposal so you can hex me again.”
“I never accepted.” Ginny tucks her hair behind her ear and looks up at him with a mischievous smile.
“That’s just a technicality.”
“And I’m always going to hex you. Especially when you’re doing stupid things like running away with my idiot brother. With or without Hermione, he’s still a liability.” That makes Harry laugh and he leans forward to pull her against him again. He presses a quick kiss to her lips and then sits down in one of the kitchen chairs, gazing up at her. He raises his eyebrows a little and then looks between his legs and Ginny until she rolls her eyes and sits across his lap. She wraps an arm around his shoulders and runs her hands through his hair, once again enjoying her favourite hobby of making his nest of hair impossibly messier.
“So, we’re getting married.” He holds up a finger to her lips when she starts to open her mouth to disagree and she mock bites at him. He pulls his finger away and thenturns serious. “You can’t invite Dean Thomas.”
“Are you kidding me, Harry?” Ginny looks shocked and a little amused. “You’ve barely proposed, I haven’t even agreed yet and you’re already banning ex-boyfriends from the guest list.”
“Well, when you put it like that-“
“You’re not going to invite one of your good friends to your wedding because he’s seen me naked?”
“He hasn’t-“ Harry’s expression turns dark. “That’s funny.”
“I’m not joking.” Ginny looks concerned as she says and Harry’s vision turns red at the image of a smug looking Dean Thomas.
Seven hours later the Weasley Family are sitting at the table, ignoring the green colour and slimy texture of Harry’s hair and the strange pig shape of his nose. Even when he opens his mouth to speak and bleats instead the family are unbothered, this isn’t the worst they’ve seen him in recent months. The shocking moment is when Ginny slips into the seat beside him and presses a kiss to his cheek before asking Hermione politely to pass the potatoes. The Burrow kitchen has never been so silent at a dinner and never would be again