Padfoot and Moony
“Sirius, get your lazy ass out of the bath, I wanted to talk to you about—-OH MY GOD!”
Standing next to the door, looking completely petrified, was Regulus. His eyes were so wide they were almost popping out of his head and his jaw was opened in a way that would be immensely funny in any other situation, nearly touching the floor.
However, as soon as his and Sirius’ eyes met, the man quickly turned around and exited the bathroom in a hurry, and Sirius immediately felt the ultimately familiar panic begin to make its appearance.
“Regulus, wait!”
Sirius got out of the tub with a jump, splashing water everywhere, and then grabbed his towel, wrapping it securely around his waist.
Before running after his brother, though, Sirius turned to look at Remus, who still hadn’t moved from his position in the bathtub. The boy looked completely mortified, and the fear was unmistakable in his amber eyes.
“Don’t worry, love,” Sirius told him in the most comforting way possible, pecking him quickly on the lips, “It will be alright. I’ll be right back.”
Sirius didn’t even wait for an answer and bursted out of the bathroom, preparing himself for having to chase Regulus through the palace with only a towel covering him up. That would be utterly embarrassing and it would certainly raise a lot of questions, but what could he do, right?
Fortunately, though, and for his great surprise, his brother was standing next to his bed, waiting for him.
“Reg, please let me explain!”
Regulus’ eyes, that were fixed on some spot on the floor while his mind seemed to work like crazy, shot up at the sound of Sirius’ voice.
“Sirius, what the hell was going on in there?! Who is that man?!”
Silence stretched over the room for no longer than a few seconds as Sirius took a few deep breaths and prepared himself. Finally, he looked at his brother’s silver eyes, that looked so much like his own, and told him the truth.
“That man is Remus Lupin. We...we are together, Reg. I am so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
“You are...WHAT?”
Sirius winced slightly at Regulus’ loud outburst, but he supposed he couldn’t really blame him. Walking into your older brother’s bathroom and finding him naked with an unknown male in a bathtub, only for said brother to reveal they are together. In a romantic way. That was definitely something to be worked up about.
But before Sirius could even think of anything to say, Regulus began pacing around the room, though his eyes never left Sirius, “How on Earth do you even know the guy?”
“We met on the day The Selection started,” an involuntary smile grew on Sirius’ face and his eyes lightened up as he remembered the first time he saw Remus and the way he found himself instantly mesmerized by the other man, although he didn’t understand why at the time, “He started working here that day. I couldn’t sleep, so I left my chambers for a walk and...we just bumped into each other.”
“A servant?”
Sirius’ face immediately hardened at that, and his expression darkened considerably as he stared at his younger brother, “A person.”
Regulus shook his head slightly, as if to get himself off that shocked state, and then nodded carefully, “Right, of course. I should not have said that, it’s just...It’s a lot to take in.”
“I know.”
They both just stared at each other for a few moments, neither of them quite knowing what to say, until something seemed to cross Regulus’ mind and his eyes widened again.
“Wait, did you...did you two...?”
The embarrassed but also glowing look on Sirius’ face and the red that immediately painted his cheeks were all Regulus needed as an answer.
“Good Lord, that...That is definitely a lot to take in.”
“You won’t tell mother, though, right?!” Sirius’ heart started to thump wildly from fear and his face certainly showed that, “She would kill him!”
“Hey, Sirius, calm down,” Regulus took a steep forward and placed both of his hands on Sirius’ shoulders, squeezing them lightly, “I would never do that to you.”
A faint feeling of guilt for having doubted his brother even for a second began to rise through Sirius as he saw the sincerity in Regulus’ eyes, but he tried to shrug it off. He was about to thank him and enveloped him in a hug when Regulus continued talking.
“You have to be extremely careful, though,” his eyes were dangerously serious as he spoke, “Mother is already suspecting something, that’s what I came to talk to you about. I heard her talking to dad about how you are acting weirder than usual, and that she plans to get to the bottom of it soon.”
‘Damn that woman and her intelligent, evil mind,’ Sirius thought angrily before raising his head in determination.
“She won’t. She will never find out, and I will never let her lay as much as a finger on Remus.”
He saw a small smile begin to appear on his brother’s face, “You really care about him, huh?”
“I do.”
They stayed quiet again, a comfortable silence this time, but Regulus quickly regained Sirius’ attention as he saw the other man looking at him hesitantly, shoulders tense as if he wanted to ask him something but didn’t know if he was allowed to.
“You can ask me anything, Reg, it’s okay.”
That seemed to calm his brother a little bit, who lifted his hand and pointed to the bathroom’s door, “How long has this been going on?”
Sirius’ eyebrows frowned in confusion. Although it was extremely normal for him to be curious, he didn’t expect his younger brother to ask any questions about that, “You mean the sex?”
“WHAT? NO!” Regulus nearly shouted as he shook his head frantically and closed his eyes tightly, as if the mere mention or mental image of that would traumatize him for eternity, “Not that, Sirius!”
“Oh, sorry,” Sirius felt the heat travel to his face and he knew he was blushing again, but he still laughed at the expression on Regulus’ face, “Worthy mistake, though, just to see that look on your face.”
Regulus opened his eyes again and glared at Sirius, which made him raise his hands in a fake apology, “Sorry, sorry. But answering your question, a few weeks.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
“So, are you, umm,” Regulus paused for a moment, voice extremely careful as he asked, “Are you gay, then?”
Sirius took a moment to think about the question before answering, “Gay, bi, pan, I honestly don’t know. All I know is that I am in love with him.”
He vaguely noticed Regulus let out a small shocked gasp at that, but all his mind could really focus on was how good it felt to finally tell someone else about his feelings. Sirius hated the fact that he had to hide his relationship, he wanted to shout from the bloody rooftops that he was in love with an amazing man called Remus John Lupin. And telling Regulus made him feel slightly closer to that.
“Does James know?”
“Not yet, no,” Sirius sighed and looked down at the floor. He would have to tell his other brother soon. They used to tell each other everything and Sirius felt terrible about keeping him in the dark about such an important part of his life.
“Don’t worry,” Regulus gave him a small encouraging smile, sensing Sirius’ nerves, “It will be alright. He loves you.”
After that, Sirius couldn’t hold it in any longer, so he urged forward and wrapped the other man in a bone crushing hug.
They stayed like that for some time, Sirius had no ideia how long, until Regulus took a step back and started to divert his eyes between Sirius and the bathroom, “I uhh...will leave you to that, then.”
Regulus turned around and walked towards the door, but before he could leave, Sirius’ hands moved to grab the man’s sleeve and his mouth moved without permission, something that was not unusual at all for Sirius, “Wait!”
Regulus turned around to face him again, looking a bit confused. Sirius hesitated only for a brief second before letting go of Regulus and gesturing to the bathroom behind him.
“Would you maybe like to...umm...meet him?”
Sirius would never admit that out loud, but he was nervous. He desperately wanted Remus and Regulus to meet, as the two of them and James were the most important people in his life, but that exact same reason also made him anxious. What if they didn’t get along? What if they simply didn’t want to meet each other?
However, Regulus seemed to have taken the day specially to surprise Sirius, as he stared at him for a while and then nodded, “Yeah, of course. If you want that.”
Sirius smiled brightly at him, glowing with happiness, “Just a second, then! I will go talk to him!”
With that, Sirius ran towards the bathroom again and opened the door. Remus had finished drying himself and had put on one of Sirius’ casual shirts, that he had probably forgotten laying on the floor, as well as a towel to cover his lower regions.
The boy turned his head to Sirius as soon as he entered the room, looking restless, “How did it go?”
However, his face immediately frowned in confusion as Sirius simply smiled at him and pressed a long kiss to his lips.
“What—-?”
“It went fine, love,” Sirius’ smile never left him, but there was also a slight nervous glimpse on his features, “Actually, umm...Is it okay if you meet him?”
Remus’ jaw dropped and his mouth hung opened in absolute shock, “I-I...He wants to meet me?”
“Yeah,” Sirius nodded as he chewed on his bottom lip, “He’s okay with us and he won’t tell anyone, I promise, and I would love if the two of you met. But it’s okay if you are not ready yet, and—“
“No, Sirius, wait,” Remus interrupted him quickly, “I’m just...surprised, I guess. And a bit scared, to be honest. But it would be a pleasure.”
Sirius failed miserably to contain his enthusiasm at Remus’ answer, taking the other man’s hands on his own, “Thank you, love. I love you. There is nothing to be scared about, I promise.”
Remus nodded slightly and took a deep breath as Sirius reopened the door and motioned for Regulus to come inside.
The second he saw Regulus, Remus’ body visibly tensed all over and he bowed his head, hiding his face almost completely, before saying with a restrained voice, “It is an honor to meet your acquaintance, Your Highness.”
However, Regulus just smiled lightly and offered the other man his right hand for a handshake, “You can call me Regulus. It is nice to meet you.”
Remus’ head shot up so fast that he must have gotten dizzy, and he stared at Regulus disbelievingly for a moment before quickly accepting the hand, “It is nice to meet you, too,...Regulus.”
Sirius chuckled to himself as he looked at the blushing man and vividly remembered Remus’ cautiousness and hesitation to call him by his first name when they first met. He must have dazed off, though, because the next thing Sirius heard was Regulus clearing his throat and awkwardly bouncing from one foot to the other.
“I think I will leave you two alone, then.”
Sirius turned to look at Regulus again and his heart swelled with a feeling of pride of the man his younger brother was becoming, “Thank you, Reg. For everything.”
“Just be careful, alright?” was his only answer as he looked attentively to the couple, “The both of you.”
Remus and Sirius both nodded, hands now clasped together, and with that Regulus turned around and left, closing the door swiftly behind him.
They both silently stared at the closed door for a moment, until...
“I have never been more embarrassed in my entire life.”
A loud, contagious laugh left Sirius’ throat at Remus’ statement and he had to gasp for breath, feeling as if a hundred pounds had suddenly been lifted off his shoulders.
Remus sent him what was supposed to be a warning glare, but the vivid red on his cheeks ruined the effect and only made Sirius crack even more, doubling over from the force of it, which eventually made Remus join in the laughter too.
Once they had both calmed down enough to breath properly, they walked over to the bed and laid down again. Sirius’ fingers began to trace the faint lines on Remus’ arms at the same time that Remus reached his hand to Sirius’ dark hair.
“I’m glad I met him, love.”
That declaration alone made Sirius so happy he thought he was going to explode from it, “Me too, love.”
Sirius moved a little to snuggle closer to Remus in order to give him a kiss on the cheek, which made him accidentally brush one of his feet against the other man’s leg.
“Did you know you have really soft feet?”
Sirius looked up at that, amusement suddenly dancing in his eyes at the random statement, “Is that so?”
Remus hummed softly, a sweet smile on his face, “You do. They almost feel like pads.”
“Or maybe it’s just you that have rough feet,” Sirius answer him teasingly.
A fake outraged gasp came out of Remus’ mouth at that, “That’s absurd, I’ll have you know. You just have really smooth feet. It’s something unique, like a superpower.
“A superpower, huh?”
“Yeah. I should start calling you...”
Sirius watched as the other man put his fingers on his chin and made a funny thinking gesture for some moments before smiling brightly at him, “Padfoot. That’s your new nickname.”
Remus was looking at him with such excitement and expectation as he waited for Sirius’ reaction.
“I actually like it. It’s sweet.”
The smile that appeared on Remus’ face was worth everything, Sirius thought as he leaned over and pecked the man on the lips.
“But if I’m going to have a cute nickname, you need one, too. Let me think.”
Sirius mimicked the gesture that Remus had made before and concentrated on finding a good nickname, something that would suit Remus, that would represent him. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t difficult at all, and not even a minute later he found himself grinning triumphantly.
“Moony.”
“Moony?”
“Yeah. It’s perfect for you.”
Only when he noticed Remus staring at him as if waiting for something did Sirius realize he had to explain the meaning of it, and he immediately felt a blush rise to his cheeks.
“Erm...You know what? It’s rather silly, really, I can think of a better one—“
“Oh, no, no, no,” Remus interrupted him quickly, shaking his head, “You won’t get away from it now, love. Tell me.”
Sirius sighed in defeat, his face growing hotter by second, “Well...The night I first kissed you...I wasn’t planning to do it, you know? I had no idea you felt the same way and I certainly didn’t want to ruin our friendship. But it was like I didn’t have control over my body at that moment and, when I realized, I was already kissing you. Do you know why?”
Remus, who was staring at his eyes like his life depended on it, managed to briefly shake his head, and Sirius took that as a sign to continue talking.
“Remus, you already are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but under the moonlight, you look...almost ethereal. It‘s like you were born to be underneath it. A-and I know you don’t like your scars very much, but I still think they’re beautiful. They’re a part of your story, and the moon kind of makes them shine, like they’re shining just for me.”
At that point, Sirius was no longer holding eye contact, and he thought he was going to combust at any second from the embarrassment he was feeling. However, slim fingers grabbed his chin and gently lifted his head, and he found a pair of amber eyes staring lovingly at him.
“I love it, Sirius. I really do.”
He let out a relieved sigh and grinned, although he could still feel his face burning, “Yeah?”
Remus just chuckled and nodded before pressing their foreheads together, “Yes, Padfoot.”
Sirius giggled softly, which made Remus look at him like he was the most adorable thing in the entire world, “Okay, Moony.”
They snuggled closer again and tried to sleep. However, the minutes passed and Sirius still hadn’t been able to completely relax, as one specific thing was haunting his mind and keeping him wide awake.
“Remus?” he called after some time, hoping he wasn’t waking the other man up.
“Yeah?” the answer came immediately.
“I want to tell James about us tomorrow.”
Much to his relief, Remus gave him a small smile, “I think it’s a good idea. I want to tell Lily, too, just not tomorrow, I think. I just don’t know what her reaction will be.”
Sirius hummed thoughtfully for a moment, “Do you trust her?”
“I do.”
“Then that’s all that matters.”
Remus’ lips curved up in a small grin and he buried his face in Sirius’ bare chest to try to hide his goofy expression, although with little success, “When did you become so wise, huh?”
“When a man called Remus Lupin changed my life.”
And with that, they shared one more loving kiss and quickly fell asleep in each other’s arms, finally surrendering to the tiredness and their only observers being the moon and the stars.
~
The next day, Sirius woke up to find a small note on the side of the bed where Remus had been the day before. He rubbed his sleepy eyes and took the note in his hands.
“Hey, love,
You looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn’t want to wake you. I had to go back to my bedroom and get ready for work, otherwise I would be late. I will see you again soon. I love you.
Always yours, Moony.
Ps: Good luck with James!”
Sirius smiled to himself as he read the letter and examined Remus’ sloppy handwriting. Then, purposefully ignoring the desperate pleadings his heart was making, he took one last look at it and threw it on the fireplace. He couldn’t risk someone walking into the bedroom and discovering the note, even if their names weren’t on it.
After lighting up the fire and watching Remus’ loving words burn into ashes, Sirius finally glanced at the clock. It was still early, barely 8 AM, so he could probably still catch James in his room if he hurried up.
Sirius quickly grabbed some decent clothes and put them on, not even bothering to ease down the wild mess that was his hair at that moment. His heart was thumping frantically at the expectation of revealing everything to James, his brother in everything but blood.
A part of him was extremely excited, of course. Him and James used to have no secrets, they were and had always been each other’s confidents. He desperately wanted to tell James all about Remus and annoy him with unnecessary details of their love life just like the other man talked about him and Lily.
However, another part of him was terrified. He couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if James didn’t take the news well. Would their relationship as brothers change? Would James distance himself from him?
He was so caught up on his fear that he didn’t even pay attention to the path in front of him, his feet automatically walking through the course that he had made several times during years. But of course that was a recipe for an accident so, about two minutes later, just as he was approaching his destination, he fell his forehead aggressively bump against something very solid.
“Ow!”
Sirius recognized the voice immediately and his head shot up to look at no one other than James, face frowned in pain and right hand rubbing circles on the side of his head.
“Damn it, Sirius, did you forget you have eyes?” the man complained in an annoyed voice.
“And you say I am the drama queen.”
That certainly put a grin on James’ face, who quickly forgot about the pain and shoved Sirius’ shoulder in a friendly way, “That you are, my friend, that you are.”
James looked like he was about to excuse himself and continue his way to work when Sirius started shifting from one foot to the other, clearly nervous and hesitant.
“Something the matter, Sirius?” he asked as he eyed him quizzically.
“Huh? Oh, no, no, don’t worry. But could we...umm...do you have a minute before you go to work? I wanted to talk to you.”
James’ eyes immediately filled themselves with concern and he quickly nodded, “Of course, let’s go to my bedroom, yeah?”
Sirius agreed silently and followed him through the narrow corridor until they reached a door by the end of the hall, the words ‘OFFICER JAMES POTTER’ written on it. He waited as James opened the door and invited him in before stepping into the cozy room.
As soon as the door closed behind them, Sirius wished he had never said anything. His nerves were beginning to take the better of him, his forehead and palms starting to sweat despite the rather cool weather.
“What is it, Sirius?” James’ gentle voice reached his eyes again, managing to calm him down enough so he could take a deep breath and lift his head so their eyes met.
“James, I need to tell you something.”
The small frown between James’ eyebrows deepened considerably at Sirius’ tone, “Okay?”
Sirius audibly swallowed to try and wet his throat a little at the same time that his hands began to pull at his hair, a nervous habit that very few people in the world knew he had. James, of course, was one of them.
“James, I...I...”
A pair of hands suddenly appeared on his shoulder and gently led him to sit on the edge of the average sized bed located in the middle of the room.
“Sirius, you know you can tell me anything, right?”
“Of course I do. I’m just...really nervous.”
James’ eyes warmed up instantly and he let a small smile reach his lips, “Whatever it is, I promise I’m here for you, and it won’t change a thing.”
‘It won’t chance a thing.’
‘It won’t change a thing.’
‘It won’t change a thing.’
Sirius stayed quiet for a few moments as the words, that were echoing like a mantra in his head, gave him the courage he needed. James loved him, he was his brother, and absolutely nothing would change that.
“I am in love with someone,” the sentence left his mouth before he could even process what he was saying, eyes widening soon after.
However, to his great shock and confusion, James simply grinned brightly and threw a fist up in the air like a celebration, “I was right!”
Sirius stared at him blankly for a second before seeming to regain control of himself, “I’m sorry, what?!”
But James just let out a loud laugh at that and shook his head in mock disappointment, “Oh, Sirius, you should give me more credit, you know? I mean, I do know you like the palm of my hand.”
“But...How...What...YOU KNEW?!”
“I didn’t know, per see,” James told him shrugging, “I just assumed.”
“But how?”
The perplex look on Sirius’ face must have done something to James, because the man soon wiped the silly grin of his features and replaced it with a calmer expression.
“I told you, I just know you really well. I guess I kind of sensed something had changed, you know? I felt you were different, a good different.”
Sirius nodded slowly as all that new information settled in his already overwhelmed brain. He must have spent too long thinking, though, because he suddenly heard James clean his throat.
“So...Are you going to tell me who it is?”
The air caught up on Sirius’ throat at the imminent question and he shut his eyes tightly, finally telling him out loud, “James...it’s not a woman.”
Seconds seemed to last forever as Sirius held his breath, both arms crossed protectively around his torso, and waited for a reaction. He completely missed the way James’ eyes widened a bit in shock at first as he understood the meaning of the words, and also the way comprehension dove into them not even two seconds later.
Then suddenly, Sirius was being squeezed in a powerful hug, and he took a few seconds to realize what was happening.
Sirius felt the air that he had been holding immediately leave his lungs, the burning pressure in his chest disappearing almost completely. He managed to change positions a little bit and return the hug just as tightly.
“God, Sirius, I...You didn’t think I would judge you, did you?” James asked him, voice filled with worry as they stepped back.
“No,” Sirius vehemently shook his head and diverted his eyes from his friend in embarrassment, his whole face flushing, “I was just afraid it would change things.”
James looked like he didn’t know if he wanted to envelop his friend in his arms again or raise his fist and punch him in the face for his stupidity.
“Of course it doesn’t change anything, you great mutt! Why would it?”
But Sirius was saved from having to answer when James seemed to pick finally the first of the two options, the hugging one, and soon he found himself being smashed by James once again.
After a while, James broke the hug and looked into Sirius’ silver eyes, “Thank you for telling me.”
“Shut up, Potter, as if I would be able to keep it from your snoopy ass for much longer,” he retorted in a playful tone, although he was dangerously close to start wiping embarrassingly.
James began laughing loudly at that, so hard that tiny tears began to form in the corner of his eyes, and Sirius darted between trying to silence him and joining in on the hysteria.
“You didn’t tell me who it is, though,” James complained after a while, clearly trying to be subtle about it but failing miserably, since his curiosity was almost transparent.
“It’s Remus.”
Sirius surprised himself a little bit as the name jumped out of his lips with so much ease and instantly smiled.
“Wait, the guy who works at the kitchens with Lily? Her friend?” James asked him with a stunned look on his face and Sirius simply nodded in response.
“And are you two together?”
This time, Sirius would not have been able to hold the giant grin that spread and settled on his face even if he wanted to, “Yeah, we are. Don’t tell Lily, though! Remus wants to tell her himself.”
“Wow,” was the only sound James managed to blurt out before he seemed to get his shit together and smiled brightly at his best friend, “Well, if Lily is his friend, I’m sure he is a really nice fellow.”
Sirius chuckled softly at him and sighed dreamingly, “He’s amazing, James, he’s great. Really, you need to get to know him, I’m sure you will love him.”
“By the love of Minnie, you sound just like me,” James squirmed his nose like that mere fact was an utter absurd.
“Hey, first of all, don’t use Minnie’s name in vain. Second of all, serves you right for making me go through listening to you daydream about Lily nonstop for years.”
James opened his mouth to start protesting, but seemed to give up and simply shrugged, nodding to himself, “Fair enough.”
Sirius grinned broadly at him for a moment before his happy expression faltered a bit. He quickly tried to hide it, but of course James noticed it immediately.
“Something’s up,” James said that with a tone that left no room for arguments, it wasn’t even a question.
Sirius hesitated at first and looked like he was about to deny it anyway, but soon gave up and let out a long, suffering sigh, “I don’t know what to do, James.”
“About you and him?”
“About this Selection,” Sirius clarified, and he looked so exhausted that James began to wonder for how long that was weighting on him, “What am I going to do when I have to choose someone? I can’t delay it forever.”
Silence stretched for a while as both boys seemed lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, James looked steadily at his friend’s face again, and Sirius thought he had never looked so serious. That wasn’t the time for puns, though, and that much was clear on James’ eyes.
“Sirius, do you really love him?”
Sirius’ head began moving up and down urgently, almost desperately, “I do, James. So much it hurts.”
“Then fight for him.”
Before Sirius could even open his mouth to respond, though, James raised a hand and motioned for him to be quiet, “I know it’s not going to be easy, Sirius. I can’t even begin to imagine what you must be feeling like. But this is your life, no one else’s. You are the future King of this country, and you should have the right to choose anyone to marry. Don’t let your parents and some stupid, outdated tradition tell you what to do.”
Sirius stayed quiet for a while as he tried to process everything that his brother had said. When he remained speechless for too long, James spoke again, “And, Sirius, remember. You are not alone.”
That seemed to be the last drop and Sirius instantly broke down in front of James, heavy sobs leaving his body and pulling him to the ground. But as James kneeled next to him and he thought about Remus and Regulus, he knew that, no matter how hard things could get and how lost he could feel, he would never be alone.