" I'm sorry i couldnt protect you... "
!!WARNING!!
This chapter talks about suicide, SH, suicidal thoughts,
panic attacks, child SA, and child abuse and bullying
You have been warned and if you feel uncomfortble or related to these character please and i mean please dont read :( and im so sorrry if you relate to this it will get better i promise you that. You are not alone and was never alone :)
◇._________________________________.◇
*RING RING!!* Huh...? Where i am.. oh right school what's the time *I look at the clock and its 1:30 PM* oh god.. and i thought school would be over by now. I feel... sick.. my stomach hurts, it's getting to breathe... *My vison starts to get blurry and my head starts to hurt* maybe.. i-i should close my eyes and lay my head down besides math class is almost over. * I close my eyes and lay down* ...... ...........
...... *RING RING* Ugh... holy fuck.. *RING RING* Goddamm bro- * I slowly open my eyes and realise school is over...? The fuck did that happen- i-i swear it 1 PM a minute ago * I look over at the clock and it says its 6 PM!?* WHAT THE SHIT FUCK!? Omg no one woke me up those bitches. Ah my back hurts.. damn maybe i shouldnt have slept on my side on ugly looking weird desks... my fault * I start to pack my things up and get my bag* weird... time flies when your sleeping huh? Anyways... what was i doing? Oh right going to my locker and putting my things away as i strart walking out the classroom i overhear some students talking.
Girl1 " that girl is so weird... like why even is she in our class?"
Girl2 " i know right like shes so fucking creepy looking too"
Girl3 " Who? That rei? Rei- reiko girl or whatever her name is cause if so i agree with you guys. "
Girl1 " I think her name is reimu..? Something like that "
*Drip.. drip* H-huh...? They're talking about me.. n-no this can't be happening a-again n-not again... I thought escaped the bullies and bullying... N-no! Please not a-again....
*Drip drop drip drop* before i notice it im crying and more tears start fall. My breathing gets faster and uneven, my vison starts getting blurry, My whole body starts to shake
I'm not g-going through that AGAIN..! N-NEVER AGAIN..
I start to turn around away causing me to drop my bag and i start to run. I run as fast as i can and i keep going hell i dont know even where im heading but it doesnt matter anymore i need to get away from them.. as far as i can.
Finally i stop running and im at the top of the school...?
I take a moment to catch my breath and i put my hand on the door-handle and i open it. The door opens to the schoolroof top and the sky... the sky looks pretty
I step out and look around and see the railings and the only thing on my mind is * What if i jump... no one would care to stop me or even care to look for me.. its better if im just gone right? If im dead.. it would be better if im just dead i dont derserve to live. I dont derserved to even be here at all
No body cares for me. No body loves me and my parents would be happy that im gone. * i look at the scars on my arms and more tears to fall. And my breathing gets faster as i take off my shoes i look up and stare at whats infront of me... What the fuck...?
I look at whats infront of me and notice theres a girl.
She looks like shes about... to jump and before i notice it i call out to the girl and it looks like her hair is braided..?
Ah whatever who gives a fuck just focus you dumbfuck
"HEY..! Dont do it please. " The girl turns to look at me
Woah wait a minute what the hell did i say? Ah whatever why the fuck is she here i was supposed to be here first! Ugh this bitch... * I walk up to the girl and it looks like she's been crying.. and now that i look at her more closely shes wearing a yellow cardigan hm.. * " Why are you here huh..? " i ask looking at the sunset. She looks down arms shaking
" I was with a guy and i thought he was really the one but he c-cheated on me... with my best friend and then he told me he was done.." I look at her feeling mad that i lost my chance and this was opportunity missed of finally being free and getting away from this hell
" Are you fucking kidding me!? Are you serious I can't believe for some stupid reason you got here before me and you're upset because of lame ass boring guy-!? You're lucky you've never been robbed before! " She looks at me eyes wide, and more tears fall down * Oh shit did i make her cry more...? Fucking great im gonna have too-* before i notice what's going on she hugs me smiling..? " I'm feeling better... Thank you for listening to me. " and just like that she runs off to door. Huh i guess i have to try tomorrow...
I go to door feeling somewhat better than before.
My alarm goes off and i wake up to my (step) parents yelling at each other wow what a great fucking start to my day... i get up to go shower and get ready for school.
After im done with my shower and get dressed i look at myself in the mirror... *Why does it have to be me..? Why me what have i done... to derserve this, how was i suppose to know that i was gonna get beated... i didn't know that i was gonna be the "best daughter" of this stupid house..* I look at my scarred arms and legs that are covered in bandages, i lift up my cardigan to look my bruises feeling my eyes start to gloss * Fuck i can't be crying right now.. mom would fucking beat me more because of it *
I go to wipe my eyes and take a moment to breathe....
" REIMU YOU FUCKING BITCH WHERE ARE YOU WHORE! "
I freeze. My body starts to shake, my breathing quickens and i start to sweat... my body feeling cold and stiff.
*No... no no no no t-this can't be happeing... N-not now why now...!? Out of the all days it has to be now* my legs feel numb and stiff my hands start to shake a lot.
" REIMU YOU THINK YOU'RE SO FUCKING SMART HUH..?! HIDING FROM ME WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOUU!! DADDY NEEDS HIS GIRL SO COME OUT YOU FUCKING SLUT "
He says with vemon in his voice and starts to walk around the house trying to find me. My body unable to move...to hide away from my (step) dad.. every sound comes in and out, hearing him becoming more mad and pissed.
He stops and i think its over until i hear his footsteps coming up stairs and come to my room * Oh fuck...fuck fuck fuck.. N-no please n-not now p-please... Please!*
He opens my door and i see him in the mirror my body shaking more and my breathing gettting faster
" So there you are. Y'know mom isnt home and i think we need "father daughter bonding time" right my princesss?"
"N-no... i don't think we need it dad..." i say quietly
"The FUCK did you say to me whore..!?"
"N-nothing sir...." i close my eyes
" Good now come here you fucking slut."
I walk over to him my eyes still closed and mybody stiff
"Good girl now take off your clothes for daddy please."
My body saying run away dumbass but i still take off my clothes cold air hit my body right after i take it off
"Good now make daddy feel good and ill make you so nice with my nice hard cock because mommy didnt want to have sex with daddy so hes gonna use you alright and remember dont tell mommy. Or i'll fucking kill you bitch."
And AFTER THAT CAUSE I DONT WANNA WRITE IT AND CRY WRITING BECAUSE I DID THIS TO MYSELF... :D
After that i walk to school my whole body feeling numb and every part of it hurts so much and i feel fucking sick as hell just bear with and it'll be over soon. I think?
!!TIMESKIP!!
After school ends i make my way to the schoolroof top and i hope today the days i can be free from this hellpit as soon as i open the door to see a girl as short as she can be much to my dismay i call out to the girl " HEY! Don't do it please..!" She turns around to look at me eyes slightly empty i ask her what's wrong " So what brings you here hm? You don't just come here without a reason." She looks at the ground sinking to her knees holding onto the railing
"Everybody just ignores me and steals from me... they act like i don't even matter as a person... and it h-hurts so much.. i just wanna be treated as a person." She looks at her hands looking sadly. " Are you kidding me!? Are you serious right now..? I just can't believe that for some stupid you got here before me. Cause even so you're still loved by everyone at home! There's always dinner waiting on the table y'know..." i look at her smiling putting my hand on her shoulder. "I'm hungry!" She said as she shed a tear smiling as she runs off to the door, i look at the sunset wondering if those girls are gonna be happy now. As i get up to walk off i sigh *This is gonna be happeing everyday huh?* And just like that there was some one everyday i listen to their tale i made them turn away from a fate that couldnt be changed that they would regret doing because i believe they need to have a chance to live, to feel freedom, and to be who they are. And to feel loved they derserve better than this
And yet there was no one who would do this for me there was no way i could let out all this pain and for it be nothing. I mean no one needs to know anyways right...? Right.
......
For the ever first time there i see someone with the pains as me and my eyes widen and my breathe quickens
Having done this time and time again. She wore a yellow cardigan.
"I just wanna stop the scars that grow
Every time that I go home That's why I came up here instead" That's what the girl in the cardigan said and her voice sounded so broken and hurt... so dull and empty
Woah, wait a minute, what did i juat say? I couldn't care less either way but in the moment i just screamed something i could not believe... and why did i do it..?
"HEY..! Don't It please...!" Ah what the fuck do i do? I can't stop this girl, oh this is new and weird..? For once i think ive bittenn off more than i can chew. "But even so please just go away so i can see...! Beacuse you're pitful expression is just too much for me..!" I say tears falling down my face and i fall to my knees covering my face to hide me crying but i look up to lool her and face which has bandages on it and on her legs and arms too as she covers her face with a fuck ton of stickers and has a hair pin infront of her holding her bangs together as she holds on her yellow cardigan.
She looks at me eyes dull and empty and lifeless but has a gilmmer of hope in those big empty and dull eyes ans she just sighs and picks up her shoes and bag and says to me
"I guess today is just not my day."
She looked away from me and then she disappeared
....
As i make my way to the schoolroof top i look around hm There's no one here today, I guess it's time
It's just me, myself and I
There is no one who can interfere
No one to get in my way here
...
Taking off my yellow cardigan
Watching my braids all come undone
This petite girl, short as can be
Is gonna jump now and be free... as i jumped and closed my eyes i hear two people running and two voice talking and before i know it theres a hand grabbing me before i could fall further my head feeling fizzy and light before i passed out i heard "Quick lets her to the school nurse before she tries anything more stupid babu." And i think four more voices and one of the people said " get her up faster we gotta beeping go and her some help fast."
everything went black and quiet.
!!! TO BE CONTINUED !!!