The aftermath
~~Some time skip and your POV~~
The news spread like crazy: "Dumbledore's death was a true mystery." That's all the headlines of the Daily Prophet said, It been 2 days and thank God no one even had a clue, I am still resting, I haven't talked to either Severus, Voldemort or Draco, I wasn't much willingly to anyway, I just wanted a break to focus on myself, I still couldn't believe I slept with my Potion's Teacher, for some reason I don't remember much details just that was good but still.
I was sitting on the sofa close to the window just looking at the huge backyard, the pool, the flowers blooming as it was close to spring, the brown and gross mud was now becoming green and pretty.
My mind was calm but still full of thoughts, I felt dirty, I never felt this when other people died by my hands but the feeling that it was Dumbledore and that Severus saw it makes me feel grossed out and just unclean.
Thoughts like this lived on my mind, I was tired but I was going back to Hogwarts tomorrow and probably to face Severus, our night was on my mind but not all the time, I couldn't stop myself from feeling like an object and like I always did about people, feeling like I didn't matter, just a ... toy.
I started packing some of the clothes that I gave the elves to wash and folded them carefully and placed them in my trunk, the memories that flesh from this object, buying it with my grandparents, getting my wand, and leaving Mr. Ollivander scared to death when I almost exploded the store, meeting my now ex-friends at the train, and buying my first chocolate frog from the trolley lady, such a nice soul, and watching all the magic of entering for the first time the gates of Hogwarts.
I feel a small tear escape my eye and quickly wipe them away. I hate crying, and just the fact that it is for these stupid memories is just hugh.
~~The day after, still your POV~~
Now that McGonagal is the headmistress, the Gryffindors have been more awake, Slytherins have been even more judged and harassed in the hallways, in quidditch, in the Great Hall, everywhere, being called Death Eaters, evil, and traitors, it didn't hurt me at all, I couldn't care less but I could tell the younger Slytherins did. It was cruel to watch kids crying because of what people call them.
I am now sitting in the Library just focusing on the book I was reading about Muggles, I found them intriguing, the way they are similar to us but so different, they judge skin color, not blood status, they were too emotional and they let themselves became their emotions.
I could feel the burning gaze of someone in me, I looked up to see Harry Potter looking straight at me through the round glasses on his face.
He stood up and walked towards me, he looked like he hadn't been sleeping in weeks.
He walked past me, leaving a note on the desk saying «I know.» He knew what? Me killing Dumbledore? Me just killing in general? Me being a Death Eater?
I went after him after grabbing my stuff and followed him through the halls.
"Harry, you better stop walking and tell me what you know. Now" I had my voice full of confidence, I wasn't scared of glasses boy when I dealt with much scarier man in my early teens.
"I know what you did, I was there Y/N" He looked miserable like his own thoughts were devouring him alive.
"Where, Harry?" The hallway was empty and everyone must be at lunch. I was getting nervous by the millisecond.
"When you killed him. I was beneath you, I saw and heard everything, how dare you come back?" Oh, I just wanted to kill him right now, but no I needed to say something.
"I didn't have a choice, I had to do it." I started fake crying and trying to pretend to have sad emotions and saying that I didn't have a choice was just the perfect way.
"What spelling was that? The name and the color... I have never seen that before, explain to me that and I couldn't care less about you." Oh fuck, what was I going to explain? Think, Y/N, think!
"A spell I read once in a book on the restricted section." I lied with every cell on my body, no one knew about this spell or how it works beside me and Voldemort, I wanted to keep it that way.
With that he turns on his heels and leaves to somewhere I didn't care enough to follow him, I needed to get to potions.
When arriving in potions I noticed I was way earlier than needed.
"Hey, Severus. Sorry for coming too early." He was writing on a paper when I started to slowly walk to his desk, and he slowly looking at me, I miss him more than I thought I would.
"It's quite alright, we need to talk anyway." He got up from his chair and slowly started to walk around the table and placed himself in front of me.
"I am sorry I have been distant, I couldn't bear to look at you." I never left the floor with my eyes.
"And why is that?" He said while lifting my chin with his white pale and cold as ice fingers.
"I feel gross, I killed him, your friend and you saw it, besides you may just think I am a one night stand." I was trying hard to stay inside, I was just empty.
"You aren't just a one-night stand, and I don't dislike you, you are more important." He pressed a soft kiss on my lips, just the perfect amount of time.
"I miss them."
[A/N: so writing is been reallyyyyy hard because of school but I am trying.
All the love, TPWK. ;)]