The End is the Beginning
The End is the Beginning
Resembool
February 2nd,1899
2:34 am
Van waited patiently in the front room, reading over his latest research to distract himself from the sounds emitting from the bedroom. Trisha was in a great deal of pain, he wanted nothing more than to go comfort her. She had rejected him, refused to have him in the room. Trisha told him this was her time with the child, that the child would need to feel only love to have the will to live.
It was some nonsense her grandmother had told her, but she insisted, and he had complied. He had no real desire to witness the birth, so long as Trisha and the child survived. Sarah Rockbelle arrived to deliver the baby a little while ago, Yuery was with her but is staying out on the porch here just in case his wife wears out. She is only a few weeks from her own delivery. As soon as the Rockbelles arrived he was banished to the living room.
Yuery attempted to assure him that it was normal for the wives to banish their husbands during the birth, and he shouldn't take anything she said seriously. Van agreed, he'd witnessed enough births over the years he knew how painful it must be for the mothers. He couldn't say that to Yuery of course. He had just turned the page when Trisha groaned loudly, followed by the thin wail of a newborn.
The child had been born alive. It was already doing better than half of its siblings then. Van was relieved, he wouldn't have to dig a grave tonight then. Sarah came out a few minutes later, rubbing her back as her stomach stretched the thick sweater she wore. "Trisha's wanting to rest for a bit, they are both perfectly healthy. I'll be back in the morning to check on them then. It's a boy."
"Thank you Sarah. Give my regards to Pinako." Van replied as he showed her out. After he watched the couple walk back down the hill, he slowly made his way to Trisha's bedroom. He wasn't entirely certain he would be welcome, but he wanted to see that they were alright for himself. The magic her grandmother embedded in the corner stones of the house should hide the child's birth, but it also dimmed his ability to read the child.
He would need to be closer to the child-a boy- to know if it was what he had needed, if it had been worth losing Trisha's love for. He stepped into the room without knocking in case she was already asleep. Trisha was laying on her side, the boy next to her instead of the cradle Van had provided. Neither of them were sleeping.
"Did you come to steal him away from me?" Trisha asked quietly.
"No. I came to check on you, both of you." Van replied.
"How long before you take him?" Trisha asked, tears in her eyes. "I'm not powerful like my Gram, I can't stop you and we both know it. That's why you picked me isn't it?"
"I picked you because you carried the power I needed. I love you because of the person you are." Van replied, still not daring to move closer. He can feel the child from the doorway. He is what Van had been hoping for, but the price was higher than he realized it would be. He never wanted Trisha to look at him like this. Like he was a monster come to snatch all the happiness from the world. Like he was no better than the Dwarf. "I'm not taking the child from you Trisha. You're his mother."
"I find your assurances hard to believe. You admitted yourself weeks ago that you were just using me to make a baby for you!" Trisha said, openly crying now. The child next to her stirred, distressed by his mother's emotions.
"The world will need him." Van admitted. "Not now though. Now he is just a baby. He's your baby Trisha, what will you call him?"
"You-You're letting me name him?"
"Of course. He is your son. Our son. I didn't mean to lie to you Trisha. I love you. I want to love him. This is bigger than either of us, but I will keep him in your arms as long as I can." Van said. Trisha nodded, still not trusting this monster that claimed to love her.
She thought he had loved her, she thought he wanted to build a life with her. She's ignored her father's and grandmother's warning that he wasn't really human and moved forward against their wishes. The end result was terrible. Had she listened she wouldn't have this child, true, but he also wouldn't be in danger from this monster wearing a human face.
He walked out of the room without asking to hold or see her child, and she was relieved. She was afraid to sleep, worried her little boy would be gone when she woke. She already felt such a strong connection to this child. Her baby. Her Edward. He woke as if hearing his mother's thoughts and blinked up at her blearily. Unlike every other newborn she had seen in town, he didn't have the soft blue of a newborn. They were already gold like his father.
The child was going to look just like Van. Perhaps if nothing else, his pride might win out and she could convince to change his mind, to not sacrifice his own flesh like this. She thought of running away, hiding from him. She had no idea where she could go that he couldn't find her. Find her son. She had only known Edward for an hour, and already she couldn't imagine her life without him. She was selfish, but she wasn't giving this baby away, not for anything. Not even to save the world. He was her baby.
February 5th
8:30am
Trisha had avoided Van since before Edward was born, ever since she had accidental read the page he had left open and confronted him, leading her to learn the truth. She'd had time to think, to plan. Since he baby was born, she had realized there was only one hope. She had to keep Van from leaving, from taking her son from her. Which meant he had to think she had forgiven him.
She carried her baby carefully to the living room, where she could hear him moving around. He hadn't tried to approach her since the morning the baby had been born, and she half expected him to be packing his things when she went looking, even if he had promised not to leave her then. He was sitting on the couch, reading one of those books he was always lost in when she came into the room.
Trisha took a deep breath before she walked up to him. He looked up after a few minutes to see her smiling down at him and she silently held out the baby for him to hold. "No. I couldn't." Van said, before looking back down. "He's too small…to vulnerable. I can't hold him."
"He's your son too, Van. Will you ignore that forever?" Trisha asked. Her plan rested on getting him to bond with the child, so that he would reconsider.
"Of course not. One day he will need training. Until then, I leave him to you." Van said quietly. "I love you Trisha. Please believe that. I truly love you."
"I need you to love him too." Trisha said near tears.
"I can't. I can't love him only to watch the life fade from him." Van said, before looking up at her stricken expression. "They've all died Trish. Every last one of them has died, before their first month was over. When he reaches that milestone, then I will let myself look at him."
"His name is Edward." Trisha said, clutching her son to her chest, suddenly terrified for her baby for a completely new reason. He said her baby was going to die. How was she supposed to take that? He clearly saw the pain in her face at the idea of losing her child. Van sighed deeply before slowly standing.
"Edward is stronger than any of the others before him. If any of them are going to make it, it's him, alright Trisha? I just…I've buried too many." Van said before placing a gently kiss on her forehead and walking to the door.
"Why? Why did you give me this baby just to take him from me?" Trisha asked quietly behind him.
"Because he's the one chance this world has." Van replied before closing the door behind him.
July 26th, 1899
Resembool
Trisha stood dressed in black, holding her infant son as tears ran down her face and Sarah hugged her on one side, Yuery on the other. Standing slightly to the side Van was comforting Pinako, as they buried the last hope Trisha had of escaping Van Hohenhiem.
The train her parents had been on derailed. No one had survived the crash. She had lost everyone in her family at once, Pinako's husband had been aboard as well. Nearly a third of the village had been aboard, headed to East City to file the annual tax papers. The military said they had no idea what had happened, but they were looking into it, not that it could bring back their people. Her parents.
She slowly made her way back to the house, Edward had fallen asleep in her arms. Van followed behind, she had heard him tell Pinako he would be around later to check on her, and for a moment Trisha resented the woman. Van always showed concern for Pinako, but he barely spoke to Trisha these days. She didn't want to be alone right now. She needed someone to stay with her, to lie and tell her everything was going to be alright, when clearly it wasn't.
Van made sure they had gotten home safely, and that Trisha managed to tuck the baby in and start some tea before he started to leave. "Wait. Van. Please, I don't want to be alone right now, can you please stay?" Van nodded as Trisha finished speaking and joined her at the table.
October 3rd, 1899
Trisha made breakfast as Edward sat in his highchair babbling to himself and smacking the tray when Van came in. She had just finished, so she placed the plate of eggs in front of Van and Edward. She sat across from the man she still wasn't sure how she felt about anymore.
Van had just swallowed his first sip of coffee when Trisha cleared her throat. "I'm pregnant."
Van carefully placed his mug back on the table as he stared at her, trying to decide if he had heard her correctly. Her frown said that he had. "I'm sorry."
"I said, I'm pregnant Van."
"No, I heard you, I was apologizing. I was unforgivably careless for this to have happened." Van replied. "Excuse me. I promised to go help at the Hans farm this morning."
Trisha waited until she had finished the dishes, and changed Edward to see if Van was going to come back, when he didn't she left a note and walked down to the Rockbelle's. Sarah took one look at Trisha's expression and drug her into the house.
A few minutes later, Edward and Winry were playing on the floor near the two mothers as they drank their tea. "Now, what has he done now? Still refusing to hold his son?" Sarah asked.
"I told him at breakfast that I'm pregnant. He apologized for being careless and left to go help Zeke and Ester." Trisha said. "I don't know what to do anymore Sarah."
"Oh, Trish. I'm so sorry. Maybe he was just surprised? Edward's not that old yet, I'm a little surprised myself, I'm sure he'll come around." Sarah said, trying to comfort her friend. Trisha had never told her about Van really. Just small things like he would hold Ed, she couldn't tell anyone what Van was. Sometimes she thought Pinako must know somewhat, but the woman was like a second mom to her, she couldn't tell the woman all of this.
"I hope so, he is so distant sometimes." Trisha said instead of screaming he was a monster. She felt so alone, no one could know. No one could ever know.
May 1st,1900
Edward had adored Alphonse instantly. Everyone had warned her he would be jealous, that he wouldn't understand his brother needed her attention too, but so far that hadn't been a problem. Ed was barely one himself, but he wanted to help with 'his' baby every chance she would give him. He brought her clean diapers, and kissed his brother's cheeks, and loved to just stare at the smaller boy.
Van had reacted the same as he had toward Edward, and after looking at the child, just ignored him. Part of her was glad he showed little interest in her children, since he planned such terrible things for him, but on the other hand if he would just spend time with them, he would see they were so much more than tools.
She confronted Van this morning over his refusal to see the new baby, like when Ed was born. He shook his head, and informed her that "This new one could undo everything I'm trying to do here Trish. When the time comes, take it and go far away so that Edward can do what he needs to do."
She realized at that moment, she wasn't going to be able to convince him to leave her baby to live his life. She wasn't going to be able to make him love her sons. She had to pretend though, or he might take her baby and leave. She couldn't let him steal her son's life away. No one could know how much she had come to hate this man.
March 4th, 1904
Van left that morning, and it upset the boys, especially Edward. Edward, who was so protective of her and Alphonse was upset because Van chose to leave them like this. Her brave little boy, she hoped he never had to learn what his father really was.
She spent the day distracting the boys, and feeling a strange sort of relief. She wasn't going to have to pretend anymore. It was the most relaxed she had felt in a while, certainly since Sarah and Yuery had been sent to help in Ishbal. If anyone asked, she would tell them Van had gone to help with the War. They didn't need to know he had finally grown bored of them.
She was glad he had never married her, though there were some that looked down on her and her sons, they were better off Elrics. She was better off an Elric. Her family was loving and kind, it was terrible that the boys would never know them.
Midsummer 1904
Trisha managed to distract the boys whenever they asked about their father. She didn't want them to dwell on the man. Instead, Ed had discovered his father's books and taught both himself and his brother how to do the basics already. Trisha was impressed and proud of him.
She knew it was dangerous, that someone was bound to take notice, and Van would be back for him. However, Van was coming for him either way, so wasn't it better for the boys to know how to use these powers to protect themselves and each other.
Van had left her pregnant for the third time, though she had told no one. She felt something was wrong with this one from the beginning. She didn't think she would carry very long, and didn't want the boys to know. She joined the other women helping the soldiers sent to the far side of town when they had fallen ill, so many of them dying.
Trisha knew when she woke up that morning. She was sick with the illness that had killed so many soldiers. She was going to have to be very careful not to overdo it, or she'll end like them and what will happen to her boys? Pinako said at least half of those men only died because they were so worn down, so she just had to stay well rested.
She sent the boys down to gather some vegetables and play outside for awhile, when the wave of dizziness hit her. She tried to catch herself before she could fall, imagining how scary it would be for her boys if they found her passed out on the floor like that.
The next thing she knew, she woke in her bed with the doctor from town sitting beside her and her boys nowhere to be seen. "What happened to my boys?"
"They are out in the kitchen with Pinako and Winry Rockbelle. You have the fever brought from the East."
"I know, I've been trying to stay rested to better recover."
"It is very hard on the body, even for those who recover. I'm sorry to inform you that you lost the child." The doctor said sympathetically.
"I hadn't told anyone, please don't." Trisha said with a sniff.
"Of course. Now, with this stress to your body, it will take more time for you to recover. I've spoken to Pinako, she will be staying here with you to care for you and the boys until you recover."
"Be honest. Am I dying?" Trisha asked.
"I don't know. It's possible. Do you wish for me to contact your husband? It's my understanding he has gone to the war."
"No. No don't bother him, thank you." Trisha replied. She didn't need to give him an excuse to steal away her Edward. She did ask that Pinako come in after the doctor was done, and secured a promise from the woman to watch her boys and keep them safe.
She fought the illness with everything she had. She tried to stay with her boys, they needed her, they were just still so little. She called Edward to her, if she didn't make it he needed to know… "Edward, don't worry I'm right here with you always. Your father is coming. When he comes-" She fainted before she could finish, and it was the last conversation she would ever have with her son. She never got to warn him, 'when he comes take your brother and run'.