in which his neighbor isn't just a jock who wears cardigans
A few weeks passed, making Atsushi easily settle in a routine mostly composed of : Walking to campus with Akutagawa, going to class, eating with friends (or Akutagawa), going to class again, sometimes dropping by the study group with Ango after tutoring, walking home with Akutagawa, and sometimes hanging out with Jun’ichiro. It was a nice, relaxing schedule, made even better by the fact that the boba place that was supposed to open wasn’t opened yet so he could postpone over and over asking out Akutagawa. Granted, they were neighbors, so they saw each other regularly on top of walking to class together, but asking the dark haired man on a date was somehow much more nerve wracking to Atsushi. For dear Atsushi was usually a nervous wreck, who hadn’t experienced dating as much as kids his age ; not that he was particularly interested in it in general, but now that he was interested, he regretted missing out on these experiences. Though he did have an excuse : having the strictest, most uptight Christian father who decided a belt hit was a correct response to seeing your son hold hands with a girl when he’s seven years old (and many such instances!) maybe had created some issues within Atsushi concerning relationship, and intimacy in general. Atsushi knew he shouldn’t touch a girl before marriage, at least…
Right, as if.
Well good thing he was interested in a boy (well, as Atsushi learnt a few days prior, more like boy-adjacent : Akutagawa wasn’t particularly fond of being described entirely as a ‘cis man’, it was much more fluid for him.), at least he wouldn’t have been thrown out for being a filthy faggot for nothing.
It was the weekend, Atsushi needed a shower, it’s not like he had much to do on a Sunday morning, anyway. I’m not even gay, Atsushi thought under the warm water of the shower, old man wouldn’t even hear me out, a familiar train of thought coming again, thank god Kyouka isn’t as much of a problem child as I was, I hope she could call at some point, I hope he hasn’t taken her phone away, I hope-
Atsushi’s train of thought was abruptly cut by his phone’s ringtone, as well as a knock on his door. Rushing out of the shower, he jumped on his cellphone, checking the caller ID, an unknown number : letting it ring for a few seconds, he opened the door to see Akutagawa standing in the doorway. “Come in, wait for a sec though,” Atsushi grabbed his phone and finally answered.
“Hello?
-Atsushi?
-Kyouka?”
The white haired man sighed in relief, finally getting to hear his sister’s voice, “How are you? She asked with her usual timid voice, which did not match, and never did, her actions. I'm at a phone booth right now, dad took my phone.” Atsushi sighed, “Isn’t it time for mass? Where are you?
-Yeah, we just got out, but Dad is speaking to the priest so I got a few minutes, how are you, Atsushi?
-I’m great, moved out, made some friends, my neighbors are really nice (he said that last part with a glance towards Akutagawa), classes are okay I guess. Are you okay though?
-Don’t worry, I just got a lecture about unnatural lust or whatnot.”
A pause.
“He didn’t do anything, Atsushi.
-Yeah, he better, but if you’re in any danger-
-Yes, I got your address, I’ll come if I get the chance, but don’t hold your breath. Sorry.”
She sounded genuinely remorseful for not being able to come by herself to the city without her strict father’s supervision, as a 14 years old, “Kyouka it’s okay. We’ll find a way, we still have time.
-I miss you…
-I miss you too.” Atsushi was getting teary-eyed, and could hear his sister’s voice starting to shake and the other line, “Well, dad seems to be leaving, so I can’t talk much more, but… I love you, Atsushi.
-I love you too, I miss you a lot, we’ll see each other again, I promise.”
And with that, the line cut, leaving Atsushi to ponder if Kyouka would be able to swallow her tears enough for their dad to not notice anything. In his childhood, Atsushi would have prayed in a tough situation like this one, but he wasn’t a child, and his father’s god apparently didn’t want much of him. Atsushi swallowed his tears back as he heard Akutagawa’s hoarse voice, “Sorry for interrupting, I was just-
-It’s fine, just… It’s fine.
-You don’t seem so fine…?
-Nothing for you to worry about, what did you come here for?” Atsushi had tried to change the subject, unintentionally answering in a much harsher tone than he had intended, “Sorry, that was genuine, what did you want ?” he resumed in a much softer tone.
“I was going to tell you that we’re having some friends over tonight, so, you know, if there’s too much noise… Akutagawa’s voice seemed to drag a bit more now that they were having a relatively normal conversation,
-Yeah, yeah, I won’t file for a noise complaint…
-No, I meant… you can uh… come…?”
Atsushi was getting worried his neighbor might be having a stroke because of his slow way of speaking, when washed over him the sudden realization that he had just come out of the shower in just a towel hanging loosely off his hips. He turned around in panic, looking back to get a shirt and pants, suddenly very self conscious over the state of his body, covered in various scars that he found not only hideous but also wildly humiliating. “Sorry, I- I’m gonna put on something-
-No! it’s fine, well, no, well- Akutagawa regained his composure in a deep breath, coming back to his usual jaded face, do what you want.” He looked away as Atsushi went back to his bathroom, trying to calm himself from the sudden rush of blood to his face (and probably other places) caused by the newfound information that his new neighbor was actually pretty fit and most importantly actually hot under all those cardigans. He did put the newfound information of large scars on the backburner though, for later, when they’ll eventually be close enough for him to ask, show him his even, maybe. Maybe.
Thus Akutagawa altered between a state of being hot and bothered and of being worried to no end for Atsushi, as the latter came out of his bathroom in a striped shirt and purple pajama pants. If Akutagawa wasn’t as embarrassed as he was (though he did a good job of hiding it), he probably would have picked up on the other man’s flushed face as he resumed the conversation, “Yeah, I’ll probably come if you’ll have me…”
Yeah, I’ll have you come, Ryuunosuke thought before he immediately chased the thought away, Bad!, “Well, don’t hesitate… and, if you need anything, like to talk… he made a vague hand gesture that resembled a ‘welcome’,
-Yeah, sure, you too.”
Ryuunosuke muttered a quick “Bye, see you later.” before leaving Atsushi’s flat to regain his own and also his composure, which he had seemed to have lost the last bits as Atsushi had smiled at him goodbye. I’m going to fucking kill myself.
9 P.M. came quickly as the Akutagawas tried to clean their flat in between Gin’s questions over their brother’s emotional state after seeing Atsushi coming out of the shower, he’s…not too bad, had said the older Akutagawa sibling, and that was all the crumbs he had left for Gin, who knew their brother well enough to know that meant he was gay-panicking.
One of their many ginger friends, Tachihara, arrived first, double wielding a KFC bucket and a bottle of tequila which was already opened and drunk through a quarter of its content, courtesy to an unknown friend he called “this little bitch Teruko”. Closely following were Higuchi and Kaiji, who never failed to bring lemons and salt incase of emergency (and quite important must I say) breakup tequila shots, which Koyo (arrived with a very enthusiastic Chuuya) very much needed, for a potential future breakup, because “she’s so hot guys I can’t actually bag her she’s a med student-
-You’re talking about Akiko? I know her ! Tachihara arrived in time,
-How the hell would you know her? You’re not even on the main campus!
-She’s like…. He cringed… a childhood friend…? Anyway, I could introduce you to her if you’d like.” Of course, he had made this proposal already having gone through 5 or 6 black roses by the time 11 P.M. had hit, just as Koyo had terminated the bottle of white wine she had brought. By the time the conversation had become livelier and the music a bit louder (as well as Chuuya and Higuchi’s singing), Ryuunosuke heard a knock which he hurriedly opened to see the friendly face of Atsushi Nakajima, holding up two bottles, “price of entrance”.
“Hey I know himmmm!!!!” shouted Chuuya as Atsushi entered the living room, a quite spacious place compared to his own flat, which made sense, since two people were inhabiting it. “You didn’t tell us he would come!”
The group tried to gain enough composure to say hello to Atsushi, politely presenting themselves through hiccups, though they quickly found that they all knew him more or less, “I see you hanging out with Yosano sometimes, is she single?” Koyo had asked, sidestepping all sort of polite talk to get straight to her interest, “Yeah, she is, and very much into redheads- at that comment, the three gingers in the room turned their head to focus on Atsushi and Koyo’s conversation - and also very much into girls, guys, sorry.”
Tachihara hit Chuuya in the shoulder with a weak fist, “Why are you even interested, you don’t even like women-
-I can appreciate beauty, and pissing Dazai off”
At that last comment, the entire group roared, much to Atsushi’s confusion, which Akutagawa cleared; he leaned into his ear, talking to him over the loud music : “Chuuya is not allowed to mention Dazai at parties now, so if we’re at a bar he has to pay for a round, and if we’re at home he either has to do a meter or cough up 5 bucks each”; Atsushi laughed, partially genuinely and also out of nervousness, feeling Akutagawa’s hot breath over his ear and neck as he explained to him the ongoing bet. Blushing, Atsushi grabbed whatever alcohol he could, to at least make the night less awkward for him and maybe socialize a bit better with the other drunk college students who were currently bullying Chuuya out of his money, “I don’t care! You guys are gonna owe me money sooner or later! Right, Atsushi?”.
A beat, Atsushi’s eyes came out straight out of its orbits as he heard Chuuya’s very much loaded interrogation concerning the bet he had mentioned a few weeks prior and seeing the rest of the group eye each other in a knowing manner. The only confused one was Akutagawa, who didn’t seem actually confused nor seemed to care about the situation, not knowing that it was directly involving him. Atsushi (now refilling his drink), sighed as he answered Chuuya’s question with an affirmative “you guys make him do a meter, you’re gonna lose the money he’s giving you, anyway.” At this last statement, the entire group roared back to laughter, preparing the shot glasses for Chuuya to drink. This was a long night ahead for Atsushi.
Akutagawa has never particularly cared about loud bustling parties or drinking to oblivion with people, he did like inviting his friends, but not necessarily in such a loud setting. What he liked was the all nighters, staying awake when everybody was passed out and watching the sun rise on the balcony while the lowered music of the previous night’s playlist was still going. He poured himself a cup of tea at 6AM. that morning, glad that he didn’t have any serious classes today and as he had heard, neither did Atsushi (though he was worried the younger man was already skipping classes well into his first month of studies). Speaking of, Atsushi had gone back to his neighboring flat in the middle of the night (morning?) and Akutagawa assumed he had gone to sleep, until he heard a faint knock on his apartment door, seeing a mop of white hair and a hungover face bashfully pass itself through the small opening of the door. Atsushi made a small “oh” as he realized that the door was unlocked and saw Akutagawa on the balcony. “Pretty scenery” Atsushi laughed in a low, hoarse voice that Akutagawa found oh so very attractive, “Sorry, I’m not very- uh, anyway, I forgot my phone?
-Feel free to look around the dead bodies” Akutagawa motioned a hand, showing the cadavers that had become his friends in the face of alcoholism. Having found his phone, Atsushi made his way to the door, until- “would you like some tea?”.
Atsushi looked puzzled at the request, probably debating whether or not he should go back to sleep or watch the sunrise with Akutagawa with a cup of warm tea. The debate was not long, “I’d love some tea”, he smiled.
They sat in silence on the balcony as they watched the sun slowly rise in the sky, “How come you’re not sleeping?” Atsushi asked, “I’m an insomniac,
-Yeah, same here.
-Really?
-Is that surprising?
-Well, you always seem so energetic…
-I take a lot of vitamins to get through the day, man.
-Ah.”
A minute passed as they drank their tea, Atsushi seemingly at a slower pace (“cat tongue” he had explained).
And if you asked Atsushi, he could not tell you why he did it, but at that moment, watching Akutagawa wrapped in a warm blanket on a camping chair, cup of tea in hand, disheveled and in pajamas under the soft morning sun, he was certain it was the right moment to blurt something stupid like, “I’m sorry about yesterday.”
“What for?
-Well, when you came…” Akutagawa rewinded back to the previous morning, “Ah! Why are you apologizing?
-Well, it’s not very polite to greet your guest half-naked and talking on the phone, I guess?
-It’s okay, you were busy, it seemed-
-And also, because you seemed kind of taken aback by my scars…? I’m sorry, you didn’t need to see that so early in the day.
-Your sca- what?
-What?”
They looked at each other dumbfounded.
Akutagawa took a deep breath, maintaining eye contact with the other man : “It’s not a few scars that are going to disgust me. Trust me, what I saw yesterday was far from disgusting.”
Atsushi’s mind went blank. What? WHAT???
“What?
-Don’t make me repeat myself” Akutagawa looked away, now slightly…
”Are you embarrassed? Akutagawa do you-
-Shut it, Nakajima.
-Do you think I’m hot?
-You’re attractive. Let’s keep it at that.” Atsushi pondered those words as he stared at his reflection in his cup of tea, realizing that he was now smiling like an idiot, “I think you’re attractive too, though.” Akutagawa shot a confused stare at him, “You do?
-Uh…Yeah…?
-So the whole “hasn't slept in 5 months, walking with a cane, all dressed in black” isn’t a deal breaker?
-It has its charm!
-Right? Tell that to Gin, they don’t like my sense of style.” Akutagawa said with a small pout. “Whatever. You’re hot, I’m…lookable. What next?”
Atsushi’s nervousness came back, heart beating in his throat as he asked his neighbor for “A date maybe?”
And god did his neighbor look so pretty there, and if Atsushi was a bit less stuck up when it came to that, he probably already would’ve kissed the older male right then and there. This was a herculean feat for the man, considering Akutagawa cracked a real, genuine smile, as he answered : “I’d love to go on a date with you.”
Maybe the party was a good idea.
As soon as the pair finished their tea, they entered to discover a very proud, and very hungover Chuuya victoriously standing in the living room with a great big smile : “You guys just won me so much money.”