“I take pride in my job.” … “What's my job? Uhhhhh-”
It takes a bit of time, but eventually the storch gets the door open, and Kolibri enters the room. The Eule and Starling Couple freeze, faces still melded together in a kiss. “... not again. Seize them.” The two attempt to flee, darting past the Kolibri. The Starling gets caught though.
“I guess you could call me a pest removal specialist. In a roundabout sorta way.”
“The door’s locked, how the fuck do we get in?” The Storch looks down to her boss, the other waiting for their orders. “... I dunno. Uhh… kick it down?” The door flies off its hinges into the room, leaving only the illuminated eyes of several Replika. The Kolibri, who couldn’t be bothered to find the light, cuts it on with her bioresonant frequencies. There’s a group of Aras all ganging up on one Kranich, one with arms around her waist, another kissing from the left side into the neck of the commanding unit, and a third one caressing the collar and chest slowly. All of them stop when the lights cut on, and begin immediately scrambling for the vents. The overwhelmed Kranich just sits there, still stunned from the overstimulation, peppered with various lipstick stains. “Don’t just stand there! SEIZE THE VENT DWELLERS!” One storch tackles one of the Aras into a wall and the second manages to catch one by the leg before it could completely get in the vent. The storch backup only managed to seize two of the Aras before the last one would escape.
“You see, this facility has a problem.”
The Kolibri crawls through an Ara vent to climb into the maintenance room, only to find an Ara tending to her plants inside. “I see. You may carry on then.” She starts backing out of the vent and climbs back out. “It’s just an Ara tending to plants. Keep moving.”
“There’s too many people sucking face to actually do their jobs that they were paid and manufactured for. Seriously, it’s a problem.”
A Mynah sits and waits on a bench in the below grounds. The Kolibri enters the room. “Am I right you were here to see a Kolibri?” The Mynah pauses. “W-well they a-are my boss, so…” The Kolibri prodds inspecting her alibi. “I feel like that’s not the entire truth, Boulder. Were you not here in hopes of making romantic connections?” a Storch pops up from a nearby potted plant. Don’t ask how she fits; even I don’t know. “Boss, I don't like this one. This feels like cruel trickery.” another one pops up from behind the bench holding a microphone on a stick. “Yeah, I’m not helping with this one.” both walk off screen, camera panning to the Kolibri, zooming in, blur fading as it takes a second to adjust. “...cut the feed.”
“So I have devised, with the permission of the local Adler unit, a small squad dedicated to capturing and detaining those who spend more time flirting than working.”
Awkward elevator ride. Her and the Eule had been standing there, and haven’t said a word. “S-so… are you free–” The door opens, three laser sights landing on the Eule’s chest, right above their heart. “... i guess not…” The Kolibri steps out of the elevator. “Not interested. Get back to work.”
“Is it a little cruel? Yeah. I’d say so. But it’s necessary. This facility was at critical levels of unproductivity. Upper management almost sent specialists to investigate our facility. The last thing I need is a government official digging through my Toxic Yaoi Manhwa trying to find the secret to why we’re such a failure of the Eusan Nation. But Productivity is up 84% just this quarter! even if Morale dropped a good 20%, so what! We’re no longer one of the worst facilities.”
A PAPR unit drops off a package at the hangar, running over to the Kolibri. “Hey. you’re the zone manager right? You look important.” The Kolibri shrugs it off. “No. I’m with the Yuri Police, as it’s affectionately called. We’re here because of an anonymous tip-” the PAPR places a finger to the Kolibri’s lips. “We’re too busy delivering packages to get dates. If one of us DID get a relationship, I’m not too sure the others won’t shave her head bald for it out of spite and jealousy. And they would DEFINITELY brag to my fellow Papagei.”
“What do we do when they’re apprehended? We fine them for 20 Rationmarks and sentence them to 3 months of Observed work. Meaning we have staff and/or cameras watching over them at all times during their work period. This does stack, for the record. Our current record holder is 5 years, and it’s from an Eule that somehow managed to convince her entire dorm to [this space is left intentionally blank.]"