Oh god, here we go-
Valt was in the bathroom, frantically examining his skin as it transformed into shimmering fish scales. What on earth had caused this bizarre metamorphosis?
To understand how this peculiar situation unfolded, let's rewind to the lunch break earlier that day...
During the break, Valt had approached his friend Shu, eyeing the untouched sandwich in Shu's hands. "Can I have that?" Valt asked, helping himself to the sandwich without waiting for a response.
After taking a few bites, Valt suddenly frowned and spat out something hard and shiny - it looked like a fish scale. "What is this? Is this even edible?" Valt wondered aloud, breaking the scale in half and chewing it curiously. To his dismay, the scale proved to be remarkably tough and salty, leaving an unsettling fishy aftertaste.
After school, Hyuga accidentally splashed dirty water all over Valt, who shrugged it off at first. But as Valt inspected his skin, he realized with growing horror that scales were rapidly spreading across his body. Fins were emerging, and he could even feel gills opening on his neck, desperate for water.
Panicked, Valt rushed into the bathroom, staring at his aquatic transformation in the mirror. There was no doubt - whatever he had eaten from Shu's sandwich was the cause of this bizarre metamorphosis. Just as Valt was about to call Shu for help, his friend materialized beside him, equally shocked by Valt's fishy condition.
Valt and Shu sat side-by-side on the toilet, baffled by Valt's sudden transformation. To Valt's dismay, his new scales were unbearably itchy, and the only way to find relief was to soak himself in water. Meanwhile, Shu frantically flipped through every book he owned, which was a substantial collection considering his centuries of life experience. After hours of searching, they still had no answers.
"I'm stumped," Shu admitted, exasperated. "None of these books mention a condition like yours, and this is a spell I've never even sensed, let alone witnessed. It's most peculiar."
Valt groaned in frustration. "How is this even happening to me? Why do these things always happen to me? What did I do to deserve this?"
Shu paused, contemplating. "That's a good question. Normally, a regular person wouldn't be able to consume what you did without being repulsed. Yet, you were able to eat it and successfully transform. That could mean one of two things - either you have an unusually high magical absorption rate, or someone has managed to create a spell usable by regular people, which should be impossible."
Valt slammed his head against the mirror, smoke pouring from his ears. He was utterly lost, unable to make sense of Shu's explanation. Then again, he’d basically let everything he discovered washed over him to prevent insanity, so he wasn’t too surprised. Shu went back to flipping over his books, his brow creased in concentration.
A cacophony of voices suddenly erupted from the bathroom, prompting Shu to hastily usher Valt into a vacant stall, where they held their breath in anticipation. Valt couldn't help but notice Shu's warm breath tickling his ear.
"Hey, guys! Did you hear the latest?" It was Ranzo, a recent transfer and Honcho's cousin. "Shikaku-san's been stealing our stuff!"
"Yeah, we know! We're sitting right next to Zac, remember?" Ranjiro chimed in. "That guy is a walking gossip mill! I swear, if I have to hear one more thing about Shikaku-san..."
"Calm down, you two." Honcho's tone was unusually authoritative. "We don't have time for this. Those bastards are already on it. I think they're getting all riled up over something, but I don't know what."
"Seriously?" Ranjiro whined. "How do you even know?"
"That mess we made yesterday. There's no way they wouldn't have come after us. We left too much of a ruckus.” Ranzo thought out loud. “It must be because we're low priority. What could possibly be more important than us trashing their place?"
Honcho furrowed his brow. "That's what I'm trying to figure out." He paused, scratching his chin. "There's nothing serious enough to guarantee they'd be no-shows. Hell, not even equinox season would stop them from murdering us if we destroyed over half their place."
Ranjiro let out a frustrated sigh. "Then what could possibly make them ignore us?" His eyes narrowed. "Yesterday, I sensed at least 3 of them, chasing something. They were hell-bent on whatever it was and completely ignored us. What the actual fuck?"
Honcho raised a hand. "Bro, language. And cuz, did you sense anything else today?"
Ranzo shook his head. "Nah. Those jerks have some kind of barrier that doesn't let us recognize them in human form, unless they want us to. So we're at a stalemate."
Honcho smacked his fan against his palm. "Well, that's it then. We should get going - don't want to miss out on a patrol if things are getting this weird." The three filed out of the washroom, chatting noisily.
Valt let out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. "Well, that was...something. What on earth were they even talking about?" He glanced at Shu, who wore a troubled expression.
"Shu?" Valt waved his hand in front of Shu's face, trying to get his attention. "Uh, hello? Anyone in there?"
Shu snapped out of his daze. "Oh, uh, yes, Valt. I'm here." His eyes then darted to Valt's skin. "Wait, Valt! Your scales are disappearing!"
"What?!" Valt screeched, only to realize Shu was right. The scales were falling off as his skin dried from the water. "Huh, you're right! They vanish when I'm not wet anymore!"
Shu inspected the scales cautiously, carefully peeling them off and wiping Valt's skin with paper tissues. "Fascinating, it seems your body undergoes an aquatic transformation. The scales appear to help you adapt to your wet environment, but then disappear when you're dry. At least now we know how to conceal your new...condition." He reached for more tissues but found they had used them all up.
"Oh no, that's a problem. But I know where to find more!" Valt exclaimed, dashing off down the corridor. Shu chased after him, desperately calling for Valt to slow down and wait.
Valt skidded haphazardly and dove straight into the cluttered storage room, which was filled with all manner of cleaning supplies. He hastily grabbed a blue towel off a shelf and began to vigorously wipe himself down, sighing with relief as the scaled skin peeled away.
"Thank god these aren't permanent!" he murmured, his voice laced with relief. "I have no idea how I'd explain this to Honcho..."
His words trailed off as his eyes landed on a familiar notebook resting on the shelf. Valt followed the trail of scattered items - iPads, phones, notes, books, and pens - that seemed to have been hastily concealed. Dread swelling in the pit of his stomach, he cautiously pulled on the side of the shelf, revealing a small crack. Steeling himself, he peered through the gap, unsure of what he might find.
A hulking, fur-covered creature hunched over a pile of items, its body trembling as it let out deep, guttural groans. Valt watched in horror as more objects tumbled from the creature's shaggy coat, forming a new heap on the floor. The beast then leaned down, collapsing onto the pile with a contented groan, curling itself up into a ball. To Valt's unease, he swore he saw a pinkish dust swirling from the collected items.
So this was Shikaku-san. Valt had never encountered a spiritual being quite like this before - the only remotely similar experience was with Shu, leaving him utterly unprepared. A chill ran down his spine as he recalled the final part of the myth: "Never look into its eyes, for Shikaku-san will take your soul as compensation."
As if summoned by the very thought, the creature's head snapped up, its fur waving irritatedly as it sniffed the air. Xander's ominous words echoed in Valt's ears, and he flattened himself against the corner, heart pounding in his chest. Shikaku-san raised its head, then turned and fixed its gaze directly on Valt's hiding spot. Valt could barely breathe, the fear choking him from the inside.
Survival instinct took over, and moments later Valt found himself running outside, scrambling like an injured animal desperate to escape. But before he could even step out of the room, multiple furry limbs latched on his legs, their grip iron. He scrambled backward, desperate to get away, but even more fur rose out of nowhere and latched on him as well. His throat felt tight as the fur coagulated into one being.
“H-Help..” his voice felt rusty and unfamiliar to him. “Help me, someone…” Belatedly, Valt saw a ghostly fireball bumping into his forehead, the image wavering so much he wondered if he was hallucinating.
“Stand back, Valt!” an urgent voice shouted. “You, don’t attack him! He’s my assistant!”
Shu?
That was the last thing he remembered before Valt blacked out…
Valt's face was nuzzled contentedly by what he was pretty sure was a creature's butt on his nose. Normally, he would have swatted the thing aside and unleashed a barrage of profanities, but after nearly being murdered and eaten by a furry gray Hulk-like spirit, he took this as a good sign. A distressed-looking person appeared in his line of vision. Huh, they were actually kind of attractive now that Valt had opened his eyes.
"Valt?" the person asked with concern. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he replied, his head feeling a bit fuzzy, which was about the extent of his discomfort. "Who are you?"
The person looked shocked, and even the fluffy creature stopped nuzzling Valt to let out a worried chirp. The fuzziness in his head escalated into an epic headache, causing him to wince. “Ow…”
“Oh, I’m sorry! Here, let me help you.” the person lifted their hand and lightly stroked his forehead, the touch gentle and motherlike. Slowly, the headache eased, and Valt’s brain finally caught up with what was happening.
Valt shot upright, his face a mask of pure terror. "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"
Shu sighed and plugged his ears as the poor, trembling hamsters huddled under his cloak, traumatized by Valt's inhuman shriek. The boy was still raving, the earlier fear finally catching up with him.
"What the shitty, bitchy hell?!" Valt swore, as was his habit after a nasty fright. "What the fuck was that thing, and why did it try to eat me? And what are those hamsters? And why did you call me your assistant, Shu? And for fuck's sake, WHY DID IT TRY TO KILL ME?!"
Shu gently patted Valt's back, careful not to let him see the hamsters lest he make the connection. Valt only needed an outlet for his fear and terror, so his screamfest was short-lived. He was panting when Shu decided to fill him in.
"Valt, please don't scare the Kossoris. They're already quite frightened, and we don't want anyone disturbing them," Shu said softly, his face somehow looking even cuter in the sunshine streaming in. "And no, they're not trying to kill you. They're just following the rumors about what they're supposed to do."
Valt let out a big breath, gripping Shu's hand tightly, even in his ghostly form. "Kossoris? I thought that was Shikaku-san? And what do you mean, the rumors say they're supposed to murder a student?!"
"That's just another name for them, according to the rumors. Remember what I told you about rumors and our powers, Valt?" Shu picked up one of the 'Kossoris' and handed it to Valt. "Us spirits have to obey the rules of the rumors to exist in the living world. These are mischievous little creatures that have been causing trouble since ancient times, and they gang up when they're attacking something. That's probably what you saw."
The bunny-hamster creature curled up in Valt's lap, and he was mesmerized. "They're so cute! Can I pet them?"
Shu nodded, and the leader of the Kossoris nuzzled Valt's palm, making him laugh a little. "They remind me of my old pet, Blue Lightning. They even have the same chewing style!"
The Kossori suddenly spoke up, addressing the now speechless Valt. "My apologies for startling you. We didn't mean to harm anyone, but we must obey the whims of the school rumors to continue existing."
Valt sputtered in disbelief. "How are they talking to me?!"
Shu looked mildly amused. "We spirits have always been able to communicate with you normies, Valt. It just depends on whether you're willing to listen."
The Kossori leader continued, ignoring Valt's gaping mouth. "We draw our life force from the power of the rumors circulating your school. So we must follow what the rumors decree, or else we'll cease to be. I didn't realize you were 13th's assistant - you should give him a charm to mark him as such." The leader then turned to Shu.
Valt stared at the Kossori with a mix of awe and unbridled cuteness, on the verge of squealing. "I-I'm okay, Shu," he said, turning back. "Did you want to talk to me about something?"
Shu's expression was deadly serious as he replied, "Yes, it's very important." He turned to Valt. "Would you be willing to help the Kossoris?"
Valt pointed at himself, puzzled. "Me? Uh, are you sure you've got the right guy, Shu?"
Shu sighed and facepalmed. "Sorry about that. It's been a while since I've talked to a normal person." He looked at Valt intently. "But you're the only one who can help them, because you're a normie."
"Wait, what?" Valt blurted out. "I thought you said I'm powerless? How can I help them?"
"Precisely because you're powerless," Shu explained, toying with one of his ghostly flames. "You see, as Mysteries, it's our duty to maintain order in our realm and eliminate any murderous spirits. Normally, I'd have to kill the Kossoris for trying to attack you."
Valt wrung his hands. "I'm a little lost here, Shu. How do I fit into all this?"
"Let me explain," Shu said, picking up the Kossori leader. His tone was smooth and matter-of-fact as he continued. “Because us spirits feed on the rumors that normies spread, if the rumor changes, we must change to fit the criteria. You, as a normie, can change their rumors back to what it once were to save them. It’s actually easy for you, but we Mysteries are forbidden from interfering in this matter.”
Valt spoke to himself softly, mulling over the plan. "So... all I have to do is change the rumor, and things will go back to normal? Is that it?" Shu gave a solemn nod in response.
"Okay," Valt agreed, though he couldn't hide his apprehension. "I'll do it. Though, honestly... Please don't pull that Hulky stunt again. I'm traumatized enough from the first time, thank you very much. No need for an encore performance."
The Kossoris snickered at Valt's plea. Shu merely offered a weary smile as he handed something to Valt. "Here, this is for you - your new charm. It should provide you basic protection from other spirits, and it'll notify me if you're ever in danger."
Valt snatched the glittering gold sun charm, slipping it on his hand. The moment it touched his skin, a jolt of energy surged through him, making him grin like a kid on Christmas. "Wow!"
Shu chuckled, and Valt turned to him, eyes shining with gratitude. "THANK YOU, SHU! I'd be a goner if you hadn't been there. You're the best, seriously!"
Shu rubbed his temples, looking a tad exasperated. "Alright, alright. Consider yourself my new assistant. Welcome to the madhouse." He clicked his silver moon charm to Valt's, the lights resonating together.
"So, you got a plan?" Shu asked. Valt just grinned. "You bet! I know the perfect person for the job."
"Who?" Shu raised an eyebrow. "I can't think of anyone who'd spread rumors that fast."
Valt's smirk widened. "Zac, of course."
"Oh boy," Shu muttered, already dreading what was to come.
Zac was in full chatterbox mode over by the bench, regaling Orochi and Akira with the latest campus gossip. "You guys heard about those new transfers? They were totally making out behind the bleachers! Shikaku-san's gonna be old news by the end of the week, I'm telling you!"
Valt approached cautiously, not wanting to unleash the rumor tornado again. "Hey, what's going on?" he asked, bracing himself.
Orochi looked ready to keel over. "Thefts. Breakups. Catfights. The usual," he groaned, shooting Valt a pleading look. Akira patted his back soothingly. "At this rate, I might as well kiss my music collection goodbye by Friday."
"Hey, it's not that bad!" Zac chimed in enthusiastically. "Though I am worried. How are we gonna keep our stuff safe at this rate? I mean, last week alone there were 13 thefts-"
Thankfully, Akira cut him off before he could go on. "Do you know how to stop the thefts, Valt? It would be much appreciated." Zac was already sharing Orochi's headphones and Akira's playlist, Valt noted. The three of them would make a cute (and effective) trio in shutting Zac up.
Valt held out some sweets. "Carry some of these with you, and your stuff won't get stolen. And if you want to get your stuff back, you can come to the school fountain after school. I heard some seniors tried it and it worked." Valt caught sight of Shu peeking from a corner of the courtyard and waved at him.
Zac had already snatched and scarfed down some of the candy, divvying up the rest between Orochi and Akira. "Really?" he exclaimed, grinning mischievously. "Who spilled the beans, huh? Ooh, ooh, I bet I know - that hot new upperclassman you've been mooning over!"
Valt and Shu simultaneously sprayed candy across the room, the latter having endured endless teasing from the Kossoris for the exact same thing. "WHAT?! What are you talking about? We're not dating!" they protested vehemently.
Akira snickered. "Sure you aren't."
Orochi gave a sage nod. "The romantic tension between you two is deafening. Daigo's right for once - you're both in serious denial."
"WHAT?!" Valt sputtered, which Zac took as confirmation. "Aha! I knew it!" he crowed triumphantly. "Come on, you lovebirds, we gotta spread the news!" With that, he dragged his two (boy)friends over to the nearest crowd, chattering a mile a minute. Orochi and Akira waved goodbye, smirking at Valt's bright red face.
"Oh sweet heavens above..." Valt muttered, mortified, as Shu materialized beside him, equally embarrassed. "I'm so, so sorry, Shu. I had no idea that it would spread around."
"It's alright, really." Shu's face flushed a deep crimson to match his eyes. "Don't worry about it. But while we're at it... how about a picnic together?"
Valt spun around to face him. "A picnic?" he blurted out without thinking, then quickly snapped his mouth shut, mortified. "W-Wait, I mean, what do you mean by a picnic, Shu?"
"We have some things to discuss. And also..." Shu pulled out Valt's homework. "Your grammar could use some work. I'll tutor you on that."
"Nooooo..." Valt groaned. "Can we skip the tutoring? I just barely avoided another earful from Zac - that guy's a total gossip mill working overtime! Can we just get a break, please?"
"Alright, sure." Shu agreed calmly. "The school rooftop? We can head up there now."
"Okay, race you to the rooftop, Shu!" Valt yelled, already dashing off. Shu sighed. "Valt, we shouldn't run-" but his words were cut off as Valt called back.
"Loser has to do all our math and English homework for a week!" Valt shouted, grinning mischievously. They both dreaded the mountain of worksheets Phi had piled on them (due to Hyde being absent from afternoon periods). Shu immediately took off after Valt, screeching that it wasn't fair.
The Kossoris just shook their heads, knowing this was only the start of their troubles…
Shu and Valt had barely scurried off when the Kossoris' spooky theory was proven disturbingly correct.
Suddenly, a wild-eyed blond teenager with a bandaged nose and an oversized paper fan came charging in, an obvious exorcist ready to raise some holy hell. The poor apparition never stood a ghost of a chance as the boy started frantically waving and shrieking, nearly slicing the spirits to ribbons with his comically huge fan.
Seeing their ghostly brethren being decimated, the Kossoris quickly waved the white flag and beat a hasty retreat, their ethereal squeals echoing as the maniacal exorcist boy stomped around triumphantly.
"Dammit!" he cursed, the words garbled by the lollipop stuck in his mouth. "Can't find hide nor hair of that fucking Mystery! He was just here a hot second ago! What in the name of all that's holy?!"
He spat the lollipop aside, his face hardening with unhinged determination. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle if I'm givin' up now. I'm gonna find that Mystery and exorcise it back to the afterlife! HAHAHAHA!"
Cackling like a deranged hyena, the boy slid down the stairs and rushed towards the school rooftop, leaving a trail of terrified students in his wake.
Valt was sprawled on the mat as Shu toiled over their endless worksheets, sighing heavily. Each time Shu uncovered another hidden assignment buried within the original pages - all courtesy of one of the most tyrannical upperclassmen on campus - another exasperated groan escaped his lips.
Ah, the price of defeat. As Valt had bested Shu in their race, he was now saddled with their entire math and English homework load as punishment.
"Haiz..." Shu sighed. "Haiz..." Another defeated exhale. The sighs just kept coming, as Valt's guilt grew with each one.
Valt finally had enough. Sitting up in annoyance, he snapped, "Can you quit it with the sighing? If you really didn't want to lose, you could have just teleported yourself to the rooftop or something. Now you're just making me feel awful!"
"Sorry," Shu apologized, his expression earnest. "But, uh, what exactly are you reading there, Valt? It looks...rather indecent."
"Wha- No, it doesn't!" Valt protested. "It's a romance manga, Shu! Don't you know anything about that kind of stuff?"
Shu rubbed his temples. "No, not really. Ever since Lain and Fubuki called my life a 'shounen manga' because of a few one-night stands, I've steered clear of that genre."
Valt stared at Shu, his friend's good looks clearly distracting him. "Uh... I think I might know why they're so captivated by you," he said, fumbling for the right words. Shu's striking features were undeniable, and Valt knew most girls would be hard-pressed to resist someone as attractive. Heck, even he found Shu quite alluring. "Honestly, it's amazing you haven't noticed how irresistible you are."
Shu turned back to his homework, a hint of amusement in his voice. "Really? I guess I can be a bit oblivious sometimes." He paused. "But why are you even reading that romance stuff?"
"For my English class," Valt explained. "We have to read something about romance and then write our own stories. And you're on writing duty, by the way."
Shu chuckled drily. "Ah, I see. Well, what did you have in mind? I'll jot it down and take care of the writing later."
Valt's eyes lit up as he mimed something excitedly. "Okay, so like, a prince falls from the sky!" Shu stared at him, unimpressed. "What, Shu? It's not that weird!"
"Alright, alright," Shu conceded. “Can you please elaborate?”
"How about this: at the beginning, a poor girl gets captured by an evil spirit. Then, the prince falls from the sky and kills it. And he marries the girl and they live happily ever after!" Valt exclaimed, excited. Shu looked blank.
Shu muttered darkly, "Hold up, Valt. Did you say a spirit got murdered in this story?" The distress in his voice was palpable.
"Huh? Yeah! Besides, it sounds so cool!" Valt began to daydream about the entire scene, leaving Shu filled with comical dread. Why?
Because he feared he was the spirit in the story himself!
Shu quickly snatched the book with lightning speed and tossed it out of sight in one fluid motion. He cupped Valt's flushed cheek and murmured, "You have me, Valt. You don't need to worry about it." This was done to deter Valt from getting any morbid ideas from his imaginary tale.
"E-Eh?!" Valt blushed furiously, surprised by this unexpected turn of events. "S-Sure! But, um, what are you even talking about-"
Suddenly, the rooftop door burst open with a dramatic slam. Valt and Shu both jumped in surprise. In strode a new boy, with an enormous paper fan, a bandaged nose, and messy yellow hair, shouting loudly. Valt squinted - the boy looked rather familiar.
"Hold on a sec..." Valt muttered, perplexed. "Wait a minute, that's Honcho! Honcho, what are you doing here?!"
"I am Honcho Kiyama, the mighty exorcist!" the boy proclaimed. "And I'm here to vanquish the evil spirit at your side!"
"Evil spirit?!" Valt cried. "What are you talking about? Shu's not evil!"
Shu placed a gentle hand on Valt's shoulder. "Valt, he won't listen to you. As an exorcist, his job is to seal me away."
"Huh?!" Valt's head was spinning. "Can someone please explain what's going on here? I'm the only one who has no idea what you two are talking about!" He turned to Honcho. "And why didn't you tell me any of this before?!"
"Um..." Honcho hesitated, his voice trembling. "Would you have believed me if I said I was trying to protect you?"
"Yes!" Valt screeched, his voice rising to a piercing wail. "I just got chased by a giant, furry Hulk-wannabe less than an hour ago, Honcho! And now you're trying to attack Shu?!"
Shu patted Valt's back soothingly, hoping to calm the impending "scream hurricane." "Easy there, Valt. It'll be alright. Honcho couldn't harm me even if he tried."
Honcho's ego instantly inflated, his brow furrowing in offense. "Whaddaya mean I can't harm you? Are you calling me weak?!" he shrieked. "I'll have you know I'm a descendant of the greatest royal mages of all time! My duty is to protect people from wicked apparitions..." He pointed an accusatory finger at Shu. "Like you!"
"HOLD IT, YOU TWO!!" Valt bellowed, his patience wearing thin. "Can't we talk this out instead of fighting? I'm sick of these ridiculous brawls!" But his two friends completely ignored his pleas.
"I'll exorcise you by any means necessary!" Honcho shrieked, frantically waving his fan. To Valt's horror, strange markings on the fan began crackling with electricity. "Die!"
Suddenly, a gigantic bolt of lightning materialized out of thin air and struck Shu square on the head. Shu crumpled to the ground, looking half-dead. Valt let out a terrified scream, glaring at Honcho. "What the heck is wrong with you?!" Honcho didn’t even reply.
"Honcho, you're being totally bonkers!" Valt yelled, glancing at his friend like he'd grown a second head. "Can't you see that Shu, the guy who just saved my life, isn't some evil spirit? Yeah, he might be a 'Mystery' or whatever, but that doesn't mean he's a murderer!"
Honcho brandished his fan, ready to strike. "For good reason! Every single Mystery has committed the worst kinds of crimes - murder, genocide, even incest! We mages have to vanquish them, Valt. They can't be allowed to exist!"
"STOP!" Valt yelled, hurling himself in front of Shu. "You can't kill him! He's, uh, he's bound to me or something!"
Honcho froze, his jaw dropping in shock. Valt slapped a hand over his mouth, dread gripping him. The air was thick with a sense of impending doom and high-stakes drama, Valt's desperate statement hanging there like a sword ready to slice through the tension. No one moved for a moment.
Honcho's eyes went wide with fear and dread as he caught sight of Valt's sun bracelet. "Valt...what do you mean, he's bound to you?" Honcho's voice trembled.
Before Valt could even reply, Honcho's fan was smacked right out of his slack hand. A dagger, its blade gleaming as red as its holder's eyes, was pointed at his neck. Valt turned to the pair, almost falling over as Shu's ghost fireballs frantically tried to push him away from the fighting duo.
One of the fireballs cloaked Shu in its flames, revealing him in a new, elegant look - a black-and-white jinbei, black red-lined slippers, a white haori, and a red thin obi trailing in the air. In his hand, he held an odd wide double-bladed dagger, dyed pitch black. The little flames flurried around him, casting a mysterious air that Valt found himself frustratingly unable to look away from.
Shu stood before Honcho, alive and defiant. "What?! How are you still breathing?" Honcho fumed. "No matter - I'll finish you here and now! Murderers like you don't deserve to walk free!"
Shu met Honcho's gaze evenly. "It's true. Every Mystery in our position has committed unforgivable crimes." His eyes flickered to Honcho. "But we've been given another chance to absolve our sins by fulfilling our duties. The ancient royal mages refused to accept this, and so they formed the exorcists."
"Lies!" Honcho roared, dashing at Shu with his fan swinging. "If that were true, why did you force my best friend to be bound to you? Your words are worthless!" Shu easily deflected the attacks with his dagger, his expression distinctly guilty the moment Valt was mentioned.
"Stop it, Honcho!" Valt cried, trying in vain to push through the fireballs. "This is my fault, not Shu's!"
Too late. Honcho's fan glowed, and a lightning bolt ripped through the sky toward Shu. But Shu merely raised his hands, and the lightning vanished without a trace. In one fluid motion, Shu flipped Honcho to the ground and pinned him there, the dagger spearing Honcho's fan. Valt gazed at them, slack-jawed.
Honcho squirmed under Shu's iron grip, watching helplessly as his beloved fan was shredded and burned to a crisp by Shu's scorching flames. Shu towered over him, a twisted, vindictive glint in his eyes as he slowly twirled his dagger, clearly relishing Honcho's terror.
Meanwhile, Valt was frantically punching and kicking, trying in vain to break through the barrage of fireballs that screeched and danced all around them. The dramatic tension built as one fireball even had the audacity to start playing dramatic music, earning it a chorus of glares from everyone present.
Shu leaned in close, his face dark and menacing. Honcho shivered, bracing himself for the worst, while Valt watched on in fearful anticipation.
Then, without warning, Shu flicked Honcho's forehead with the tip of his dagger.
Honcho was so stunned, he nearly doubled over in shock. But before he could react, Shu slapped a mysterious black seal - emblazoned with the characters for "spirit seal" - right onto Honcho's freshly regenerated fan. Honcho stared at it, dumbfounded, for a few bewildered moments. Then all hell broke loose.
"WHAT THE SON OF A FUCK?!" Honcho bellowed, his rage reaching a boiling point. Off to the side, the mischievous fireballs had made Valt a soothing cup of tea and were gleefully narrating the entire debacle to him. Valt listened with a blank, deadpan expression as Honcho let out another furious scream. "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FAN?!"
“I sealed it.” Shu explained, stealing a quick glance at Valt. All he got in return was another deadpan stare. "You can't remove it, even if you wanted to. This seal can only be undone by the one who placed it, so I wouldn't bother trying if I were you,"
"What?!" Honcho bellowed. "Take it off right now! That's a sacred family heirloom! You have no right to do this-" He was cut off abruptly as Shu suddenly punched him square in the stomach. The fireballs watched with glee.
Honcho went sailing through the air before landing spectacularly in the middle of their lone pillow. He lay there, passed out and sprawled pitifully. Valt walked over, laid a cloth on Honcho's face, and said a few prayers before rejoining the fireballs, fan in hand. Shu just stood there, sweatdropping. Shu had gravely underestimated Valt's uncanny ability to adapt to even the most absurd of situations.
"Here." Valt presented the fan to Shu, his icy tone freezing the mood. "Was this what you wanted?" Shu winced - he'd clearly gone too far this time, and everyone knew it.
"N-No," Shu pleaded, gazing at Valt. "Valt, I'm sorry, but your friend wasn't going to listen. The only way I could subdue him was-"
"Stop." Valt shot him an arctic glare, causing the poor flames to wither and flee to Shu's side. "Did you know all this time who he was? And what's this about the Mystery committing crimes, Shu? Was I," Valt's voice dropped to a dangerous softness, "not important enough for you to tell me the most basic information? Or are you just going to keep me clueless until I'm killed?"
Shu gazed back, hurt flashing in his eyes. But seeing Shu in his spiritual form, Valt easily ignored the expression, focusing instead on his simmering rage. Valt had simply had enough.
Valt's voice rose to a furious shriek. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he continued, glaring at Shu. "I trusted you with my life, my privacy, my friends - and you didn't even bother to give me a heads-up that my best friend considers you evil?! And what did he mean, you murdered someone in your past life? I know Honcho would never lie to me, so why are you hiding all this from me?!"
Shu met Valt's accusing stare unflinchingly. "I'm sorry, Valt," he said gently. "But it was for good reason. You would never have believed me."
Valt held up a hand, his tone forcibly measured but dripping with skepticism. "I have an exorcist for a best friend, a 'kill me now' target painted on my back, almost got eaten by a furry yeti, and I'm surrounded by spiritual criminals. Are you implying I'm some kind of damsel in distress here, Shu?!"
At this, Valt screeched out loud, causing Honcho to briefly jolt back to reality before slumping back into his pain-induced faint.
Shu raised a placating hand. "No, I'm not. I know what you're thinking, Valt. And I don't expect you to believe me either. But I'm only asking for one thing - your trust. I will tell you everything, though I doubt you'll like it."
Honcho, unfortunately(or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), woke up right at that moment. “What?” He murmured blearily. “What’d I miss?”
Shu and Valt both glanced at each other, then at him. “You have no idea.” They spoke simultaneously.
And they were right.