What is it that you see?

Dangan Ronpa Series
F/F
M/M
G
What is it that you see?
Summary
You cannot fight against what is ingrained in your veins, nor can you ignore the hypocrisy of your actions. You cannot break what is already broken, nor can you change a mind that refuses to be moved. The scales of trust and distrust, truth and lies, coexist in delicate balance. What stirs beneath the surface is a story no one can tell, for true reality is in the eye of the beholder. Yet, even the most unmovable can be subjected to cracks; a small opening to which new possibilities can arise. What exists on the other side of that thin line?Aka, what could have stopped Eva from committing a crime she could never take back?
Note
You are very lucky I'm not posting this as a one-shot like I originally planned www. It ended up getting so long, and I was going to do it still as one story, but I have spared you on behest of one of my fellow AO3 readers who has now convinced me not to commit to my torturous bit. You're welcome lolP:EG came swinging at me and then put me in a chokehold cuz all I can think about lately is this game. I could go on for paragraphs about how much I love Eva Tsunaka as a writer. My original draft notes was literally six pages long lmao. But, I’ll spare you it and summarize: she is such a great character because of her complex flaws. She’s done an unforgivable and cruel crime, yet there’s still a very scared girl with so many issues underneath her aggression. I don’t doubt she exaggerated some of her bullying, but I don’t think she’s lying about having been hated, bullied, and essentially used by other people in her life. Her issues are absolutely not an excuse for her crime, but it does make her pitiable and explain a lot about her behavior. The quote I honestly think describes what happened for her to have such a toxic life (both due to the people around her and her own natural self-destructiveness) is something she said in the prologue when refuting Wolfgang's statements about no one killing:"Living with constant praise from the public has ruined our sense of self... If you need examples, just look around the room... If you continue to convince all of these people to trust each other, they'll only be more vulnerable." - Eva TsunakaIt's a general statement that applies to the Ultimates, but in particular, I've come to read this quote as being the most applicable to Eva. She lived with both praise and hatred, and that ruined her sense of self as she sought to please the adults in her life, while never getting the recognition and love she wanted for doing so. Her sense of self was ruined in her pursuit of praise. As for the trust statement, it reflects her inability to trust anyone anymore, as when she trusted the people in her life when she was young, all she got back was pain that gave her a complicated relationship with people and herself as an individual. If she stops trusting people, she'll never be vulnerable again, even if she wants to trust someone. Maybe I'm over analyzing it, but it kept crossing my mind. In essence, she's a pathetic person who was already kinda mentally/emotionally broken from before she was in the Killing Game, so it never really would have taken much effort to push her to her lowest, because frankly she was kinda already there.I wanted to write this fic not just because I love myself some Yuri and pain, but really try to figure out what would realistically stop Eva from killing Wolfgang. It was definitely interesting trying to consider the actions of a character that thinks like Eva, someone who distrusts everyone, doubts everyone’s words, feels she is superior to everyone yet also feel inferior to all. This fic is the result of that pondering! I can’t say it’ll be great, or if I'll get the characters perfectly down, but I've tried my best haha! I hope you enjoy!
All Chapters Forward

Camouflaged

Around 8:40 AM, Diana stood up from her desk and exited her dorm room. Even from the hallway, she could hear the muffled sound of music playing from the dining hall. She really did hope that Eva was having a good time attending it, even if she only watched the tournament. Diana had tried all sorts of things to cheer her bunk buddy up the night her real talent was revealed, but the Ultimate Mathlete had shied away from every attempt she made to spend time with her. Even when they were both in the room together, Diana would be the only one really talking, with Eva nodding or grunting out an acknowledgement to appear like she was listening. It hurt a bit to see her so unwilling to open up, but the cosmetologist was confident that she could slowly gain her approval and trust with time. After all, she already viewed Eva as a friend. With some patience, she’d get her to warm up to her.

Though the others didn’t view the formerly self-proclaimed Ultimate Liar in the best light, Diana tried to see beyond her actions. She didn’t fully comprehend the reason why Eva wanted to hide her talent, but it was evident from her initial reaction that her relationship with it ran deep. Was she used to people reacting like that when they learned of her Ultimate title? Diana couldn’t relate to Eva’s bitterness about being called a mathlete, as she never had any problems being called the Ultimate Cosmetologist. However, even if she didn’t understand now, she could learn to understand over time. Of course, it wasn’t in her right to pry about sensitive things like that, especially when Eva didn’t seem willing to spill secrets to her. The best she could do was remain by her side until she was ready. Everything revolving around her would just need to be a slow, gentle process.

…Why am I so invested in being friends with Eva? She paused midway through the first flight of stairs, the question stumping her. It was the first time that she had felt so drawn to a single individual. She had always been one to want to make friends with everyone, but when it came to Eva, that want became a feeling of necessity. Diana felt that she needed the black haired girl by her side, but couldn’t explain why she felt that way. It could’ve been possible that she was allured by Eva being her complete opposite. Her friends tended to be of like-minded personalities, but the Ultimate Mathlete stemmed from a completely different spectrum. The air of mystery, her serious, reserved nature, and the little bits of quirkiness she saw her express with Damon Maitsu—it completely contrasted her optimistic, peppy self in a way that fascinated her. On the other hand, Diana wondered if it was because of how lonely Eva seemed. Even if she put up a cold front, there was a deep, bitter sadness that remained in her eyes. It made it feel like she was far away, even when she was standing right next to her. Yet, she wouldn’t let anyone near her, as if trusting someone was worse than having no one by your side. Just thinking about such things made Diana’s heart ache. She deserved to smile brightly, and not feel like the whole world was her enemy.

She let out a despondent sigh. There wasn’t much point dwelling on speculations regarding the girl. The only thing that mattered were the actions she made to help Eva, and that would start as soon as she dealt with the issue at hand. Diana glanced back down at the messily written letter, with every step she made continuing downward seemingly making the paper weigh heavier in her grasp. She couldn’t deny being suspicious of the letter and its request. It was one thing to request talking about the blackmail motive, but why did he want to meet in the boiler room? The location was a private place, but it was in a secluded corner of the building, perfect for someone to covertly execute something. Diana shook her head, trying to rid herself of her doubts. Even if it was likely that this wasn’t from him, she didn’t want to let Wolfgang down. As much of a chance that someone was luring her, there was still an equal chance of it being from the man himself. No matter how rash or stupid her actions seemed, the makeup artist couldn’t help wanting to put her trust in Wolfgang. With such thoughts bouncing around in her head, she could already imagine her roommate admonishing her for her actions. A melancholic smile graced her lips thinking about her. If Eva knew about the letter, she’d probably keep Diana from being such a fool. It was just her luck that something like that wouldn’t happen.

As she continued downward, the mustiness of the basement started to permeate her nose. It was the smell of water and mold faintly mixing in with the layers of dust that filled the air. A twinge of discomfort snaked up her spine, each step becoming more hesitant than the last. The lower level had always been rather creepy, but coming down here alone for an uncertain “friendly” meeting with a classmate seemed to make the shadows ever darker, and the walls ever more bleak. She could feel her heartbeat picking up tempo, each thud ringing louder and louder in her ears, like a booming drum being struck. It reverberated through her body, and every second it continued seemed to enhance the growing feeling of nausea washing over her. A whimper escaped her lips as the cosmetologist froze on the stairs, her arms instinctively wrapping around her with protectiveness. She didn’t want to go down there. Every fiber of her being screamed warnings of danger. The temptation to turn around and bolt flooded her brain, yet with a shaky exhale, Diana tried to steel herself. She shouldn’t be scared. It was just going to be Wolfgang. He wasn’t a threat to her. He was a safe person. However, no matter how many times she repeated those words to herself, the anxiety wouldn’t fade, and she really, really hated that felt so much fear over meeting Wolfgang… if it even was Wolfgang.

“It’ll be okay, Diana. Wolfgang is your friend,” she mumbled aloud. “You can trust him! There’s no way he’d hurt you or anyone else… there’s… no… he wouldn’t… I need to have… I believe in… him… right?”

Diana winced at her lackluster attempts to reassure herself. The doubts seeping into her thoughts weren’t going to fade so long as the possibility of death lingered in the background. It made her think back to Eva’s comments about trust. She finally felt like she understood her stance on not trusting others easily. The Ultimate Cosmetologist still believed that believing in others wasn’t wrong, and uniting under a common goal could make everyone stronger. However, it was naive to assume that everyone had the same mentality, or everyone would be able to maintain that positivity. In this world, assuming the best at all times would get you hurt. Within the Killing Game, trust was both an aid and a weapon. No matter how much she tried to be an optimist, in situations like this, reality would take hold. It was frustrating to admit, but the more she tried to deny it, the worse the stress became. Yet, even so, like a fool, she kept trying to have faith. She was just too stubborn for her own good. So, regardless of what would happen in the next few minutes, Diana was ready to-

“AAAAAAAAAH! LET GO!”

.. what…?

A guttural scream echoed from below, causing the blood to drain from her face. It was soft and muffled, but Diana could still hear its intensity loud and clear. There was so much rasp in the voice, scratchy and screeching like a gear in a broken clock. Even though so many factors were distorting the voice, she knew exactly who it was. That sweet voice that had weakly expressed its owner’s gratitude for taking her in; a voice the cosmetologist felt was like honey to her; a voice that she hoped could express undiluted joy; a voice that belonged to her new bunk buddy, Eva. The silence that followed made her heart race a million beats a second. There had been so much strain in her roommate’s normally soft spoken voice, mind-numbing terror bleeding into her desperate shriek, and agony dripping from her plea. It felt like the sound was directly next to her, filling every part of her brain with a cacophony of panic. How long had she been screaming for her throat to sound that raw? Why did she stop? What was happening to her? Who… who was down there hurting her? Whatever fear the Ultimate Cosmetologist was feeling for herself earlier vanished in an instant, replaced by a crashing flood of protective instinct. Her feet moved before she could process it all, bolting down the remaining flights of stairs. She practically was tripping over herself, nearly falling headfirst downward, but she didn’t care about the danger. All that mattered was saving Eva, her own life be damned.

“No no no no no…! Eva, you can’t…! God, please don’t let me be too late!” she cried out. 

Though she had managed to keep her balance sprinting down the third flight of stairs, Diana was unable to do so with the fourth. Her feet tangled beneath her, sending her tumbling down the last flight, crashing onto the stone floor with a sickening crack. Her vision waned as sharp, burning pain erupted near the front of her head. Everything around her blurred and wavered, as if the whole world was spinning in circles. She let out a groan, wincing uncomfortably with every throb that followed. If time had allowed it, she would’ve gladly laid on the floor for a bit longer to get her bearings. However, she forced herself to keep moving, shakily trying to pick herself off the ground. Her body protested with every ounce of effort, but she gritted her teeth through it all. Yet, when she tried to put weight on her left ankle, it buckled under the strain, causing her to fall into the wall. She clutched it tightly like it was a crutch, trying to resist the waves of dizziness threatening to pull her back down. Though it only felt numb to her, Diana could only assume that the adrenaline was masking the pain of the injury. Looking at how she couldn’t balance on her left foot, she was able to assume a mild sprain of some sort. It was just her luck to not only have crippled herself, but also possibly given herself a concussion. Regardless of it all though, she dragged herself along the wall, determined to get to Eva even if her body broke.

It probably only took a few minutes for her to turn the corner and reach a storage closet, but to Diana it felt like hours. Every limping step forward she took made her want to collapse on the floor. The dizziness had exponentially gotten worse from exerting herself, the feeling tempting her to vomit. Yet through it all, she managed to keep her thoughts away from the physical agony, repeating over and over again mentally that she could make it there. Her ears were ringing from her head, but she did her best to listen for Eva’s voice. It had gotten unsettlingly quiet since the first scream she heard. She wasn’t sure why this was the case, but the sinking pit of anxiety in her stomach threw fearful visions in her head of Eva bleeding on the ground, her face twisted in horror while the last remnants of life faded from her pale blue eyes.

“Stop it, Diana. Get a grip,” she scolded herself, as she hesitantly peered into the first of the four storage closets. “She’s not dead. There’s no way Eva is dead. She wouldn’t die that easily. She’s stronger than she looks.” … is she really, though?

She hissed at her nagging doubts and spitefully hobbled over to the closet across from her. Once again there was nothing but supplies. The next two were the same, each quiet and empty with only the presence of inanimate objects. The only place left for her to check was the whole reason she had planned to be down in the basement in the first place. Her distorted gaze trailed towards the looming black door of the boiler room. Eva was definitely downstairs, and that room was the only place she could be. She couldn’t help but wonder if that letter had anything to do with what was happening to her roommate at that very moment. Why was Eva also down here? Did Wolfgang invite her here as well? But, why would she listen to something sent by Wolfgang? Her letter already claimed that Wolfgang had her blackmail, not her roommate’s. Even then, she doubted the black haired girl would have bothered to meet with the Ultimate Lawyer of all people, regardless of any fears she had with her blackmail. Eva had made it clear to Diana that she refused to follow anything the man said, so it wouldn’t make sense for her to be down here because of him. However, if the Ultimate Mathlete received a letter addressed by a different person to meet in the boiler room, perhaps by pretending to be Damon, then… everything would make sense. What am I even thinking…? There’s no way anyone would kill. Maybe it’s Tozu or Mara doing this , she tried to convince herself. I don’t… I don’t want to believe someone here has actually tried to plot a murder… Yet, the words she told herself felt as empty as the cold, silence around her.

A sudden thud broke her out of her thoughts, followed by an unmistakable cry. She could feel her pulse begin to quicken again as she dragged herself to the boiler room door. Eva’s wails progressively got louder, until eventually they transformed suddenly into snarls, like an animal trying to break out of a cage. Now that the sound of her voice was closer, the volume of it all made her ears ring, reverberating in her skull, stabbing her brain with pins and needles. Diana was practically blind with how badly everything was making her head pound, but she hauled herself forward nonetheless. She couldn’t hear the voice of anyone else, but there had to be a second person in there. Unless, the other individual set up some sort of automatic trap.

“Eva… can you hear me?” she tried to call out. To no surprise, her weak voice was immediately drowned out by Eva’s. She knew that speaking any louder was going to disorient her like crazy, the current array of sounds already overwhelming what little resilience against the pain she had. If she passed out from just shouting, there was no saving Eva, and even the chance that if there was a second person there, Diana had no clue what they’d do to her. She didn’t really care much about her own life, but the possibility of her own weakness leading to her friend’s death? The guilt would follow her to the afterlife. She gritted her teeth, continuing forward until she finally felt the cool metal door touching her skin, and the mathlete’s screeching blasting her ears through the cracks. Considering how loud Eva was being, she’d thought someone would have heard her already. But, the faint echo of Mark’s music reminded her that everything happening down there would be masked by the game tournament. Unless she went upstairs into the dinning hall directly, there would be no one coming to help.

Taking a deep breath, she hollered out to her roommate again, making sure her voice rang strong and clear. “Eva! Can you hear me?! What’s happening?!”

She wasn’t met with any form of response. Eva was still sobbing, but she couldn’t tell if the girl had ignored her, or didn’t realize she was even there. She tried calling out again and again, yet she didn’t even get so much as an acknowledgment that her voice existed. Diana paused, letting out a strained wheeze before the contents of her stomach finally came out of her. She gagged and coughed as her brain throbbed angrily at her. It felt like all her strength had been stolen from her, her already shaky legs now turned to pliable mush. The only thing keeping her upright was the wall that she clung to with what little energy she had left. She wanted to just rip her head off, if only to make the incessant, shrill, hiss finally stop. Yet, Eva’s cries kept what little sanity she still had through the agony grounded in reality. Mustering what she assumed was her last shout before the noise broke her, she inhaled and called.

“Eva! Please, answer me! What’s wrong?!”

She was finally met with a reply, but it wasn’t the voice of her friend. The trembling shout that answered was none other than the alleged sender of her letter. “Don’t come in, Ms. Venicia! It’s not safe right now!”

Her eyes widened with shock. “W-Wolfgang? Why are you here?!”

“I don’t have time to-Ms. Tsunaka, it’ll be okay. Try to take some deep breaths with-ugh! Ms. Tsunaka… please wake up!”

Wolfgang Akire was within the boiler room for some reason. Her letter was addressed by him, but after everything she had been left thinking about, she wasn’t actually expecting him to be down there. Yet, the groan of pain he let out only made her more confused about the situation. Eva sounded like she was being attacked, yet from what Wolfgang said, it seemed like he was the one actually being attacked. Diana couldn’t make heads or tails of what was really happening. She didn’t have time to ponder such topics as the man’s voice echoed back once more.

“Ms. Venicia, just go upstairs and get the others. I can handle this for now, and afterwards, I’ll explain everything!” Wolfgang yelled with exertion.

“… n-no,” she stuttered back. The reply had shot out of her mouth before she could even think about what he proposed. Her mind had been made up the moment she sprinted down stairs. She wasn’t going to leave Eva, and after hearing how rough the Ultimate Lawyer sounded, there was no way she was abandoning him either.

“Ms. Venicia! Now’s not the time to argue with-!”

“No!” She cut him off. “I-I’m not leaving you here alone!”

“Knock it off trying to be a fucking hero! I’ll be fine! Stop wasting time and go!” he snarled back.

Diana flinched at the sudden aggression in his voice. She was used to the soft spoken friend she had made upstairs, the person whom she admired for being so upstanding. But, the man replying to her now was someone else entirely. It wasn’t even close to what he had expressed during the mock trial. Wolfgang’s voice felt dangerous for some inexplicable reason. It wasn’t due to its intensity, or how emotionally charged it was, nor was it even the words he said. There was something underlying it all that was twisted and feral. He wasn’t showing his normal concern for others, and that unknown factor chilled her. She didn’t want to get near him. She wanted to run away like he said and have someone else, someone stronger and more capable, deal with it all. Yet, as Eva’s sniffles and choked pleas echoed once more in her ears, Diana’s mind locked in on it. Even if she was scared, even if it was possible that the Wolfgang she knew was a lie, even if she could be faced to face with a predator instead of an ally, the cosmetologist would gladly walk into the fire so long as it meant Eva wasn’t suffering.

“No! Just let… let me help you! You don’t need to protect me. I’m not that weak!” She said back. Are you actually strong though? “I can handle this. Just tell me exactly what to do, and I’ll do it. I promise to be careful. Just please… let me help Eva!”

She slammed her fist into the door for good measure, a bit of a blunder considering how little power remained in her body, but she needed him to know her determination. Though she couldn’t see a single thing in front of her, she’d remain to help, because her life was worthless in comparison she cared about those around her. Wolfgang didn’t sound well enough to handle this on his own. He was most likely trying to put up a front to keep her safe. But, Diana wasn’t worth such worries was too stubborn to abandon someone in need, even if she wasn’t confident she could even do much of anything. No one could shake her off that easily. So, why was she waiting for permission to open the door? Why didn’t she just go in?

Wolfgang didn’t say a word after her declaration. The cosmetologist could still hear him straining himself against whatever Eva or he was doing, yet he remained silent otherwise. The seconds ticked by so slowly, and Diana could feel herself growing anxious at the man’s lack of responsiveness. It was one thing to receive his aggravated tone, and another to be given the silent treatment. Though, maybe she was just being impatient. Her body was drained of all of its strength, and staying upright was becoming a challenge. She knew whatever adrenaline and endorphins that were coursing through her body would probably fade soon, and once they did she was absolutely screwed. They already weren’t masking a good majority of her pain, but it was partially her own fault for overdoing it. However, she’d keep pushing her body until it hit its limit if it meant helping those two. She just needed Wolfgang to-

“Alright,” the man finally replied with an annoyed sigh. “but be sure to follow my directions exactly as I say.” He sounded extremely reluctant, but that was enough for Diana.

“Of course! What do you need me to do?”

Wolfgang quickly briefed her to enter cautiously, and be as quiet as possible. No matter if she was scared or shocked by what she saw, his voice made it clear that she had to keep her voice down. Thankfully, Diana wasn’t worried about staying soft spoken. She had already shouted so much that she doubted she could even raise her voice anymore. Not to mention, the throbbing in her head had become ever more present with every word she spoke. Remaining quiet was a godsend at that point. So, following the lawyer’s instructions, she carefully pried the boiler room door open. It was significantly harder than it should have been. Her balance was off from her ankle, and her arms had been supporting most of her body weight. They felt like jelly as she lugged the black door backward. All Diana needed was for it to be open just enough for her to squeeze through. Otherwise, she’d exhaust herself before she stepped into the room.

After a painful few minutes that felt akin to five centuries, she was finally able to pry the door open wide enough to fit through. Being careful to not trip, she shimmied sideways through the gap, shifting her weight mostly to her good foot. It became more like she was hopping rather than stepping, with the up and down bobbing aggravating her dizziness. However, Diana clenched her teeth and bared it. With one final push, she finally popped into the boiler room, losing what little balance she had and stumbling forward. A soft yelp escaped her lips as she accidentally stepped on her left foot, a jolt of pain swiftly traveling through her like lightning. The Ultimate Cosmetologist turned her gaze to the ground, hoping that Wolfgang couldn’t see her wincing.

It was then that she really processed how agonizingly loud everything had become. Eva’s voice was crisper, sharper, her cries piercing her ears like nails. The hum of the generator added layers to the growing noise, coupled with the booming music shooting through the vent. All of it was overwhelming, to the point where the girl couldn’t even hear herself think. The waves of sound simply flowed through her being and rattled inside her skull. Everything around her was a chaotic symphony of buzzing static. Diana could feel a pit growing in her stomach as she desperately wanted to throw up again. The migraine felt dull due to the fact that she could barely process the assault of sensations being thrown at her, but even through that haze she was able to acknowledge how much she wanted to rip her head in two.

The girl snapped back into reality as a rumbling growl came out of her roommate. Similarly to how Wolfgang’s voice had sounded earlier, there was something feral and animalistic about it. There was nothing but pure instinct driving those sounds out of Eva. She shot her gaze over to the left side, and for the second time that day, her face paled. The sight before her wasn’t even close to what she had imagined. She knew the two were most likely roughed up to an extent, and she had anticipated injuries from the way Wolfgang forcely had to spit out his words. However, the first thing that came to mind as soon as she saw them… was ‘monstrous.’

The Ultimate Lawyer stood firmly to the side of the door, his hands firmly pinning Eva down. Their hair was frazzled and tangled, almost like it was grabbed and pulled. Their clothes were not only scuffed up and ruffled, but there were tears and rips all over them. Bruises littered both of their faces as angry red and purple blotches. Diana could only imagine how many more were painted across each of their bodies. But, what shocked her the most was all the blood. She didn’t think either of them were even processing how much they were bleeding. Wolfgang was at least acknowledging the new wounds Eva was inflicting upon his wrists, hissing as her nails dug into his skin without mercy. However, there were evident cuts across their faces and necks, as if they had both been clawing at each other relentlessly. There was even what looked like a bleeding bite mark on Eva’s left hand, the flesh raw and gorey. Her eyes trailed carefully to the ground, and she could see red splatter marks everywhere. She felt ill looking at it all. It was like looking at the aftermath of two lions fighting, except unlike the wild animals who had fangs and claws that could inflict damage easily, these two had to have tried hard to brutalize each other in the way that they did. She didn’t understand anything. She didn’t understand why any of this was happening, but she didn’t think she wanted to know now. The truth was more terrifying than the horrific scene in front of her.

“Ms. Venicia,” Wolfgang said darkly, his voice strained, yet eerily calm. “I need you to… come closer… and try to speak gently to Ms. Tsunaka. Do not try to touch… her yet, however. She’s far too on edge for that… to work right now.”

Diana gulped, nervously looking back at the two. God, she wanted to abandon them like a coward run, but it was too late to do that. She committed to this path, and she’d reap whatever it brought. She nodded, even though neither were really aware of their surroundings. “O-Okay! I’ll loop around to your right side, alright?”

Her heels clopped against the stone floor, echoing more in the spacious boiler room. I should probably take these off soon , she told herself, as she nearly twisted her left ankle again in the confining shoe. The thoughts in her brain were trivial passings, random things that popped into her brain as she moved closer. It was the only thing she could do to keep herself from bursting into tears from how terrified she was. The metallic smell of blood grew stronger as she neared their bodies. It was strong and searing, a devastating reminder of the reality she was in, a reminder of the fact that she was in a death game. Wolfgang and Eva were participants just like her, and she couldn’t deny that one of them had tried to kill the other, and for some reason, she had been a part of the now failed crime.

As the myriad of worries clouded her brain, she snaked around Wolfgang, getting a better look and both of their injuries. The knowledge alone was enough to make her heart ache, but seeing how battered each of the two were made something inside her break. Maybe it was her naive hope that everyone could get along, or maybe it was her hope that no one would die, but no matter what it was, she knew she’d never get this event out of her head for the rest of her life. Diana ducked under the lawyer’s arms, not even daring to look him in the eyes. She was afraid of his gaze matching how icy his tone had been. Instead, she locked eyes with Eva Tsunaka, her blue eyes unfocused and glazed over, yet primal fear still permeated them in full. Complicated emotions rose in her as she stared at her roommate’s face. Every bruise and cut that lined her skin, the tears that remained flowing from her eyes, the blood that dripped from injuries strewn across her body—the image ingrained itself in her soul. The girl seemed to have realized someone else was there as her cries turned to soft whimpers, as if waiting for her to speak up. Diana didn’t have a clue on how to calm her down. She never devised a plan the entire time she made her way downstairs. All she did was hope that she could make it in time. So, with uncertainty, she took in a small breath and tried to sound as warm as possible.

“Eva… it’s me, Diana,” she managed to murmur out. “Everything… everything is going to be okay.” That’s a lie.

The Ultimate Mathlete flinched upon hearing her voice, her breathing picking up in panic. She could see her body stiffen while Wolfgang’s hands flexed slowly in preparation for her to start struggling. Diana wouldn’t allow it to happen. Disregarding everything she agreed to do, she gently leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Eva. She barely put any pressure into her touch, concerned that she might hurt her if she even moved a single inch more. A small gasp escaped the black haired girl as the tension in her body faded away. She took that as a sign to continue, as she brought her head up towards Eva’s right ear, resting her chin upon her shoulder.

“You were scared, weren’t you? I… I was scared too. I didn’t know what was happening to you,” the cosmetologist whispered. “ I was afraid I wouldn’t make it in time, but luckily I wasn’t too late.”

These words might not reach you.

“We… I… I don’t know how you feel about me… but I can at least say I care about you. And, I'm so relieved that you’re alive, Eva.”

I know I’m just rambling.  

“I don’t want to lose you. There’s still so much I want to do with you. I want to paint our nails together, do up your makeup and style your hair. Maybe you could teach me a bit more about the video games you like, or the things you like to study.”

It’s all so menial, so basic and bland. It probably seems trivial and meaningless to you.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry I didn’t do more. You were suffering, and yet all I did was the bare minimum. I… probably hurt you more…”

I bet I look like a hypocrite in your eyes.

“I’ll try to do better. I’ll try to be the person you need right now. I’ll probably mess up a lot, and I might not be even good at it, but I promise I’ll be right by your side.”

But, I care about you. I care so much.

“If you’re struggling, I’ll help you. If you feel like no one understands you, I’ll try to learn and see your perspective. If you feel like… like others hate you, then I’ll love you ten times over.”

I want to be your friend. I want to be someone you trust.

“I can’t promise that everything will always be okay, or that things won’t be scary, but you won’t have to face it by yourself.”

You might doubt every word I say. You might not believe in my care or trust. Even so…

“I’ll do my best so you can feel safe. You’re more than a label. You’re a person who feels pain just like the rest of us. You feel joy and sadness, anger and fear… you…”
I mean them. That’s the only thing I’m sure of right now.

“I’ll see you for who you are, Eva, I promise… because I want to be there for you.”

Diana didn’t know when the tears started rolling down her face, or when Eva started reciprocating her hug. She could hardly see anything from her watery eyes, and spinning vision. She didn’t even know if the girl had even heard a word she said. But, none of that mattered. The cosmetologist delicately held her friend in her arms, clutching her close as she felt her roommate weakly grab onto her sweater, her whole body trembling. She could feel her muffled cries on her shoulder as Eva buried her face into it, Diana feeling tempted to do the same. However, she instead brought them both down to the floor to be in a better resting position, rubbing circles into the girl’s back as she did so.

“That’s it,” she said shakily. “You’re safe, Eva. You’re not alone. I’ll help you through this.” She didn’t really know if she could, but she’d try.

“... I… I don’t want to die…” Eva mumbled back, her words choked with exhaustion.

The Ultimate Cosmetologist was about to respond back, when all of a sudden, a thud came from behind her. She whirled around in time to see the rest of Wolfgang’s body slump onto the ground, his eyes barely focused. Diana took in a sharp inhale, nearly scrambling to crawl over to him, before remembering the girl in her arms. Her gaze wandered back to Eva, and to her luck, she had fallen unconscious, a peaceful look painting her face. Gently resting Eva against the wall, the cosmetologist crawled her way over to the lawyer with worry. He looked as pale as a sheet, almost as if he was becoming a ghost. Her thoughts paused on that observation, and a sudden wash of fear came over her.

“Wolfgang! You need to stay with me. Please, stay awake!” she pleaded, examining his face for any sign of recognition. Yet, there was nothing. All she could do was watch his eyes flutter shut as his whole body went limp. Her face fell as she threw her head against his chest, checking for his heartbeat. Thankfully, Diana’s worries were left unanswered, as every thrum reassured her that he wasn’t dead. If either of them died, the other would be executed. In that scenario, there wasn’t any way she would be able to protect either of them because the group would be forced to vote for the Blackened to avoid punishment. No matter what she was willing to do, one voice couldn’t beat the majority.

She glanced around, assessing the situation. The Ultimate Cosmetologist was on her own, with two unconscious, injured individuals by her side. She could barely see straight, and there was absolutely no way she was going to be able to pick herself off the ground. Calling for help was pointless since no one would be able to hear, as the music from the game tournament was too loud, and the boiler room too far away for anyone near the top of the stairs to hear anything down at their level. Her only hope was someone coming down to save them, or Wolfgang or Eva waking up and being well enough to move, both of which seemed unlikely to occur. Her brow furrowed. If she couldn’t speed up their rescue, Diana’s only other option was to at least try tending to her two friends’ wounds with whatever she had on her.

With what little upper body strength she possessed, Diana managed to drag Wolfgang by his shirt collar so he was closer to where Eva was resting. His head now resting in her lap, and the mathlete now leaning on her right shoulder, she rummaged through her makeup bag hoping she had anything that could be useful. Most of the items were brushes and palettes, alongside some makeup pens and pencils for eyeliner. The hairpins could have been useful if the door was locked, but in this case, they were useless. After a couple minutes of searching, she came up with more than she expected: some q-tips, a small package of cotton pad, and a small container of aloe vera gel that she never got a chance to experiment with. The cosmetologist was glad she was able to recognize them just by color and shape alone, as she couldn’t make out much else beyond blurred images.

This’ll have to do for now, she frowned. It would be temporary, but the emergency treatment would at least help until others arrived. Diana looked for the most serious cuts, which were the bite on Eva’s hand and the cuts on Wolfgang’s face and wrists. The bleeding had subsided some, but the skin around the injuries was red with inflammation. Utilizing the cotton pads and q-tips for cleaning up blood and dirt, and the gel as a mild antiseptic, she was able to tend to the most problematic lacerations, albeit clumsily. She had no experience tending to anything bigger than maybe scuffing her knee on the sidewalk or accidentally touching a hot pan for a few seconds. However, these gashes were severe enough that the cosmetologist was convinced they needed stitches. She didn’t even know if the pharmacy in the Alpha Sanctuary supplied those materials. There was always the chance that the gachapon machine could have something, but there was no guarantee. All she could was shakily apply the aloe vera gel and hope that all those hydrating and healing properties she read about were true.

Unfortunately, she didn’t have enough extra supplies to treat anything else. Diana couldn’t really complain though, considering she hadn’t been sure that it’d be enough for the injuries that needed it. The only thing left was to try and bandage whatever she could with what she possessed, which in this case were their clothes. She had her bow and vest, and if needed she could use Wolfgang or Eva’s neckties. She was hoping she wouldn’t need to tear off fabric from her skirt, but if push came to shove, it was an option. As she went to take off what she needed, a quick glance at her hands made her freeze. She couldn’t really see the details, nor had she even processed it prior, but all she could was stare at her crimson stained skin. It made her want to cry again, to let all of the clashing emotions within her explode out so she could just stop feeling anything. She’d take dealing with the full brunt of her physical pain, which she was somehow ignoring, over this hollow emptiness, but there was nothing. There were no more tears, no choked breaths, not even the sensation of her chest tightening. The slight trembling in her fingers was all the cosmetologist could muster, and she hated it.

“It doesn’t matter right now,” Diana mirthlessly laughed, pursing her lips together as her body continued on autopilot, untying and wrapping. “I can’t… I can’t focus on my feelings. I need to-”

*THUD.*

It was the last thing Diana heard. Something had hit the wall near the vent. She was surprised she even heard it, considering the music still playing loudly up above. Her head had turned towards the sound instinctively, and in those few brief seconds, she could faintly see something fall. But, she wasn’t given any time to process it. Maybe it was actually instantaneous, but in that moment, time slowed to a crawl. All she could process in that moment was the buzzing pressure crushing her eardrums, as blinding light filled her vision. It was as if she was teleported into an empty white space, a lonely void of nothing. Everything was consumed by it, and soon after, everything was swallowed into the pitch blackness of silence. She was alone within it all as her fingers wrapped around her head, and dug in.

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