Chapter 12
Chapter Twelve
Swiper was scared. He went to medical school, but only in the jungle. He also quit after an hour. He was definitely NOT qualified. Swiper smiled to himself. Let’s do this. Swiper found an abandoned room, but it smelled like Jasper and Edward’s feces. They couldn’t control it after Remy’s laxative/ food. Swiper found a bottle of warm vanilla sugar spray, and decided to squirt it all around the room. It now smelled like warm vanilla sugar and bloody animal feces. He grabbed a knife and cut into Boots’ abdomen. It was taut, which wasn’t a good sign. All of the sudden, monkey blood squirted up into the air.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” Swiper ran from the room to the outside. He noticed some glitter on top of the hill, so, being the fox he is, ran towards it. He saw a figure.
“Doctor Cullen?” Swiper breathed.
“Yesh Beb?” The figure turned around, and it was none other than the infamous Caitlin Kardasim.
“Caitlin!” Swiper said. “Yayyy! I’m saved!”
“Of Courshe Beb.” Cailtin told Swiper.
“Come with me. I need your steady hands.” Swiper pulled on Caitlin’s hand, and it started shaking uncontrollably.
“Ummm, Beb?” Caitlin said.
“Yesh Beb?” Swiper said, not turning around.
“I have very unshteady hands.” Caitlin mentioned timidly.
“That’s fine,” Swiper said. He pulled her into the castle. A hooded figure came down the hallway. It was…
“Dumbledaddy!” Caitlin blurted and ran the hallway to him. He pushed her to the side and kept walking. Swiper sighed and went to see Boots. A figure was over him, sucking his blood. He bit into his own hand and started force-feeding it to Boots, who promptly started screaming.
“Ahhhhh! Who are you and what do you want?” Swiper demanded.
“Hello, Luv.” The figure turned around, while seductively wiping blood from his slightly fuzzed up chin. Swiper trembled in his mask.
“I don’t suppose you know who we are?” The man said.
“We?” Swiper said nervously. Another figure stepped up.
“We,” he confirmed.
“I’m bloody Klaus Mikaelson… Luv” the first man said.
“And I’m Stefan Salvatore.” The other one said.
“Rippah… as I like to call him.” Klaus droned. Stefan smirked at Swiper.
“Don’t worry, I’m not on the bunny diet... Anymore.” Stefan said.
Swiper swiped a knife and ran down the hall screaming,
“HELP! HELP!”
Jasper poked his head out. Swiper stopped in his tracks.
“How does he always look constipated?” Swiper thought out loud.
“Not cool, Swiper,” Jasper said meekly.
“What’s up little fox?” Edward said, emerging from a room across the hall.
“There are vampires in the OR. Help me kill them?” Swiper said hopefully.
“What coven are they from?” Jasper piped up.
“I don’t know! I was too busy RUNNING FOR MY LIFE!!” Swiper burst out. “It’s two vampires named Klaus and Stefan!! They were trying to turn boots!”
Edward and Jasper looked at each other and nodded. They ran down the hall but were quickly stopped.
“SHUT UPP!!” A petite girl shouted. “MARCELLLLL!!”
The lights exploded, and everything went black for Swiper. Edward and Jasper shuddered.
“What are you?” Edward ventured.
“She’s Davina,” Marcel said icily. “She’s my girl.”
“Your girlfriend?” Jasper asked.
“EWW YOU DISGUSTING PEDO!! HE HELPED ME AND NOW I’M TRYING TO SAVE KLAUS AND STEFAN.” the girl named Davina yelled.
“Back off, witch bi-” the rest of Jasper’s words were drowned out by the unmistakable sound of a blue convertible. Edward heard the sound of 1998 Josiah Minkoff black leather loafers tapping each step of Moldy Voldy’s feet pic Castle.
“Knee-Klaus. Put the dead fox down.” A voice said.
“Eelijer. I should’ve known.” Klaus said.
“Davina. I will help you control your magic. Come over to me.” Eelijer said to the girl.
“AHHHHHH!” Davina said, and then a quick blonde flash stabbed something in her arm, and left with Davina.
“NOOOO DAVINA!!” Marcel shouted.
“Sorry about your girlfriend.” Edward told Marcel.
“SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!” Marcel raged. “Who even are you?”
“I’m Edward Cullen. This is Jasper, my bro.” Edward said.
“Ookay.” Eelijer said. “Knee-Klaus. Bring …….”
The rest of Eelijer’s words were never known. His neck was snapped.
“Welp.” Knee-Klaus said.
Edward heard two more sets of footsteps. One slower, and the other faster.
“KLAUS!!” Someone roared.
“Stefano!” A playful voice said.
“Damon Salvatore. I wondered what was taking you so long!” Knee-Klaus said. All of the sudden, a figure appeared in the corridor.
“What is this?” A deep gravelly voice said.
“Who the bloody hell are you?” Knee-Klaus said.
“I’m DumbleDaddy! Who in the name of Marlin’s saggy fronts are you?” DumbleDaddy said.
“Hey!” Marlin said from the water above.
“Sorry, *Merlin.” DumbleDaddy corrected.
“DumbleDaddy!” A faint voice sounded. “My toes are getting dry!”
“What is going on?” DumbleDaddy asked angrily. “My Moldy needs me.”
“Nothing to be of concern.” Edward said.
“Thank you.” DumbleDaddy said. “I’m coming Moldy! And I’m hungry!” He ran off.
“Ugh. I don't even WANT to know what that was about.” The blonde girl said.
“Rebeker.” Knee-Klaus said.
“Yes. It’s me Knee-K.” Rebeker said angrily.
“Well, I’m Kai!” said the owner of the playful voice, interrupting the stare-off between Rebeker and Knee-Klaus.
“Shut up.” said Stefano.
“Ohh, how I missed you Stefano!!” Kai said. “Where’s Bon-Bon?”
“Shut up Kai.” the roarer said.
“Damon, leave.” Stefano said menacingly. All of the sudden, Swiper woke up. He dashed between Edward and Jasper and grabbed Boots. He put him in Backpack, and they ran out, the loud sucking noises of Moldy and Dumbledaddy echoing behind them, the smell of feces, foot fungus, and warm vanilla sugar a thing of the past.