Me without You
“They.. They what?” Jackson asked, though he had definitely heard him. It was more in disbelief.
Zhenya sniffled, a rustling coming through the phone as he wiped at his face, “We had dinner t-tonight. Just three of us and I’m tell them about us. And-” His voice broke off again, the sound muffled.
Running a hand through his hair anxiously, Jackson paced outside the zoo restaurant, “Hey, Zhenya, baby. Take a deep breath for me.” He heard a shaky inhale in reply before continuing, “There you go, you’re doing so good.”
The other man’s sobs slowly calmed down, his breathing a bit shaky before he went on, “Papa got so angry, never heard him yell like that. Say so many bad things, terrible. Mama tried to calm him but he just keep going, told me to leave a-and never come back.” Zhenya rasped out, his voice scratchy through the phone.
“Where are you right now, Z?” Jackson asked, his chest aching as he tried to stay calm. He needed to be supportive, Zhenya didn’t need him freaking out as well.
Zhenya let out a shaky breath, Jackson could tell he was running his hand through his hair. It was tell they both shared when they were anxious. “At hotel nearby. Don’t know where else to go. Could go to family but they ask questions, and I don’t want to answer.”
“Do you want me there? I’ll come. I’ll get on the next flight, babe.” Jackson asked, already itching to start searching flights.
“Can’t ask you to do that, котенок. So far, too expensive.”
Zhenya could barely get out his sentence before Jackson cut him off, “No, that’s not what I asked, Zhenya. Do you want me there?” He repeated.
There was a pause at the other end of the line before Zhenya let out a breath, “Da. Please. Want you here, котенок.”
Jackson was already walking back to the restaurant, “Okay, I’ll be there. I’m gonna go home, pack my bag and then I’ll head to the airport, okay?”
“Alright. Okay, send me flight info. I pick you up,” Zhenya paused. “Jackson?”
Jackson stopped, his eyebrows furrowing, “Yeah babe?”
“I love you. Love you so much.”
A small flurry of butterflies appeared in Jackson’s stomach, as they always did when Zhenya said that to him, “I love you too, always.”
What sounded like a small sigh of relief came from the other end of the phone, “Always. See you soon.” Zhenya whispered before the line clicked off.
Jackson let out a shaky breath before heading back into the restaurant to quickly fill Brady in on what was happening. The other man’s face gradually fell as he listened, his eyebrows furrowed.
“Fuck, that’s horrible,” Brady said, his face filled with worry.
Olivia tugged at his shirt, her other hand pointing at him accusingly, “Bad word. I’ma tell mumma you swore!”
Letting out a sigh, Brady kissed the top of her head, “Sorry, munchkin. I’ll put a dollar in the jar when I get home.” He replied before turning back to Jackson. “Want me to drive you to the airport?”
“Nah, man, you’ve still gotta take the kids to see Liv’s penguins. Just gonna take a Lyft home and go pack. I’ll keep you updated though.” Jackson said. After getting a ride called, he quickly said his goodbyes before heading to the front of the zoo where the car waited.
The entire ride his heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest. He knew there was a possibility of this happening, a very large possibility. But how do you prepare for something like that? For your boyfriend’s parents to just throw him out while he’s thousands of miles away from you? You don’t. You can’t.
As the car got closer to their house, Jackson quickly started searching for flights, looking for the fastest flight that was coming up. He had to go to a different airport than the first time he went to Russia, as Zhenya was in Magnitogorsk and not Moscow. He was able to find one that was leaving in an hour and a half and decided Fuck it. Not even bothering to look at the price, he bought it and sent the information to Zhenya. When they pulled up in front of their place, he jumped out of the car, yelling his thanks as he ran into the house.
Less than two hours later, Jackson was on his way to Russia. His feet tapped anxiously under his seat as he watched the clouds go by. Ten more hours. All he wanted was to already have Zhenya with him, to hold him close and protect him from the bullshit of the world. Jackson knew how nervous his boyfriend was for this trip, and obviously it was for good reason… Nine hours and 59 minutes.
Leaning back in his seat, Jackson’s eyes began to droop. The adrenaline began to wear off as he finally was able to settle down. This was the second time he had made an abrupt trip to Russia, but at least Zhenya knew he was coming this time. Throwing his headphones in, he decided to try and get some sleep. He’d be landing there in the morning anyways.
**
After ten hours of dozing on and off, eating not totally terrible airplane food and annoying his seatmates with his tapping feet, Jackson finally landed. He had never wanted to be off an airplane as much as he did right now, knowing that Zhenya was waiting for him.
Quickly grabbing his carry-on, Jackson made his way off the plane. All he wanted to do was sprint towards the front door and jump into Zhenya’s arms, but he couldn’t. Not yet. Not here. He’d have to wait till they were back at the hotel… or at least in his car.
Even in Russia, Zhenya was one of the tallest people around. He stood next to his car, hood pulled up over overly-ruffled hair. Jackson quickly walked over, dragging his bags back behind him before stopping in front of Zhenya. The taller man’s eyes were red-rimmed, it didn’t look like he had slept at all.
“Hi Zhenya..” Jackson murmured softly, his hands itching to reach out and pull his boyfriend close, protecting him from all the bad things.
A small smile, tired but a smile nonetheless, appeared on Zhenya’s face, “Hi котенок.” He whispered before taking one of his bags. “We switch up this time. Now baby Canadian come rescue me.”
“I’ll always come to rescue you, Zhenya.” Jackson said as they both put his bags in the trunk before getting in the car. He had never been so happy for Zhenya’s tinted windows as he reached across the center console, pulling the other man in for a kiss.
Zhenya rested his forehead on Jackson’s as they pulled away, letting out a shaky breath, “Thank you.. Thank you for coming.”
Nodding, Jackson intertwined their fingers, “Always.”
The ride was quiet as they made their way to the hotel. It wasn’t long, Zhenya pulled into a parking garage by the hotel less than 10 minutes later before they quickly made their way up to his room.
As soon as the door was closed, Zhenya was in his arms, his face pressed into Jackson’s shoulders. He held on as if he was afraid Jackson would disappear if he let go.
Jackson wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist, holding Zhenya tight as he felt the shaking in his shoulders, “I’ve got you, babe. It’s going to be alright,” He murmured. “Why don’t we lay down, Zhenya? Yeah? You need to get some sleep.”
Letting himself be pulled to the bed, Zhenya waited till Jackson laid down before sprawling on top of him. He let his head rest over the other man’s chest, eyes closed as he listened to the steady beat of his boyfriend’s heart. Laying here with Jackson, Zhenya knew everything would be okay, even if it didn’t feel like it right now.
“Do you wanna talk about it, baby?” Jackson softly asked, his fingers running gently through Zhenya’s hair.
The Russian man let out a breath, his grip tightening on Jackson’s shirt, “I-I..I know it’s bad to go in with hopes up. But I hoped. I hoped it would be okay. But not good idea. Stupid..” He whispered, his voice breaking.
Jackson gently pulled Zhenya up to face him, his fingers tracing carefully over the other man’s jaw, “Baby, no. It’s not stupid to hope that your parents will support you. That’s the exact opposite of stupid. They’re your parents, and you look up to them and you love them and all you want is their love and support in return. And to have that yanked away from you in one conversation, it’s horrible.. It’s the worst. And I’m sorry they hurt you the way that they did.”
As the tears began falling again, Zhenya pressed his face into Jackson’s chest, unable to hold back the sobs any longer, “P-Papa say it’s wrong, we’re wrong. B-but I know that’s not true. I know we’re right.”
“We are right, baby. We are. There’s nothing wrong with our love and if your papa doesn’t see that, that’s his problem.” Jackson whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He held him close as he cried, knowing he needed to get it out.
The tears began to slow as Zhenya fell asleep, his entire body curled up so he could cuddle close to Jackson’s side. It was obvious he hadn’t slept since he left his parent’s house yesterday.
Careful to not wake his boyfriend, Jackson grabbed his bag from where he set it next to the bed. He didn’t want to leave the other man’s side so after plugging in his phone and texting Brady, he curled up with him again, his arm going around his waist.
Just as he was about to doze off, a soft knock came from the hotel door. Jackson sat up carefully, trying not to jostle his boyfriend as he made his way to the door. Expecting a worker from the hotel, his eyes widened when he opened the door.
“Mrs. Kuznetsov..”