Me without You
Jackson could tell that she was surprised to see him. Her red-rimmed eyes widened for a millisecond before she quickly covered it. Like her son, she had obviously been crying as well, mascara around her eyes as if she had been rubbing them constantly.
“Jackson. I’m not know that you’re in Russia.” She murmured, pulling her jacket closer to herself as she stared up at him.
Frowning to himself, Jackson leaned on the doorframe, “I wasn’t until today. Zhenya called me yesterday and my plane landed earlier this morning..” He explained as he watched her. “How’d you know he was here?”
Mrs. Kuznetsov shrugged, her eyes flickering away from him, “Only one hotel close by… How is he?” She asked, her fingers pulling anxiously at the ends of her jacket sleeves. Now he knew where Zhenya got it from, most of his hoodie sleeves frayed and stretched from fretful fingers.
Jackson frowned, his arms crossing on his chest, “About as well you’d expect from someone who was kicked out by their parents,” He snapped, unable to keep his emotions at bay as she glanced back at the door behind him. He felt a bit of guilt as the tears welled up in her eyes, but.. Only a bit.
“His father.. He’s set in ways, old ways. Olezka always been stubborn.. But he loves Zhenya. Just get so angry so quick. Say terrible things he doesn’t mean…” She cried, wiping at her face.
Letting out a sigh, Jackson ran a hand through his hair, “I’m not the one who should be hearing this explanation, Mrs. Kuznetsov,” He murmured. “Zhenya just-”
“Mama?”
Zhenya’s voice was still rough with sleep and the tears he had shed in the past two days, and it broke Jackson’s heart how soft he whispered that single word. As if this moment was a dream, a figment of his imagination.
Before Jackson could say anything else, Mrs. Kuznetsov made her way into the room to Zhenya, “мой милый мальчик..” She whispered, gently holding his face in her hands as soft Russian words from her lips as he sat on the edge of the bed.
Jackson was about to step out, wanting to give them space when Zhenya reached out to him, “Stay. Please.” And how could he say no to that? He moved behind his boyfriend, squeezing Zhenya’s shoulder in support.
Her eyes flickered between the two of them before landing on her son again, her small hands engulfed in one of his, “мой Zhenya, Я так виноват-”
Zhenya cut her off, shaking his head as he spoke, “Mama, we talk in English. No hiding from Jackson.”
And so they talked. It was like a dam broke, all of the things Zhenya had held back, the secrets that were a weight on his shoulders for so long. He was finally able to share them with his mother. He told her about when they got together and how it was a love that had always been there but had grown into so much more.
There was a flash of understanding as she listened, and watched his face, “You sound just like your Papa when you talk of him..” She said, a small smile appearing on her face. “He loves you, Zhenya. Just needs time.”
Zhenya let out a soft sigh, leaning back into Jackson’s touch, “I hope it’s just time he needs. It’s who I am, Mama, and as much as I want him to accept me, I won’t change myself for him. I love him, but I can’t do that.”
His mother reached out slowly, her hands gently cupping his cheeks, “My sweet boy, I never want you to be anything but you. I’m sorry I made you feel that.” She pressed a kiss to each of his cheeks before looking up to Jackson, her eyes narrowing. “You take care of my boy, Jackson, ok?”
Jackson was already nodding before she had even finished, “Of course. Always, Mrs. Kuznetsov. I’ve got him.”
A smile spread on her face as she looked between the two of them, “I know you do.”
After pressing another kiss to Zhenya’s face, she was gone, almost as if it was a dream as she swept out of the room. Jackson let out a breath he didn’t know that he had been holding, his eyes on his boyfriend, “Baby? You alright?” He asked, running his fingers through soft curls.
Zhenya leaned into the touch, a smile already on his face as he looked up at Jackson, “Yeah, котенок. I am,” He whispered, his fingers moving to intertwine with his boyfriend’s. “Let’s go home.”
And the next day, when they were back in their bed, surrounded by their cats, Zhenya let out a sigh of relief. Because even though things don’t always go as planned, they usually have a way of working themselves out.