Meadow
Julie didn't call.
I didn't attempt it on Monday; maybe she was still sick. I felt well enough to attend school and work at Newton's, but Mike was still out. Maybe Jules and Mike just had a particularly bad bug.
Tuesday was unsuccessful. Billy answered my call but said Julie still wasn't feeling well. He cited the flu and said he was taking good care of her. He reminded me not to visit.
I didn't believe him. Whatever she had would surely have taken to me as well.
Their phone was disconnected on Wednesday.
I drove by on Thursday, but the house looked empty. I worried for Jules; had she been hospitalized?
I mentioned it to Charlie when I got home. He called Harry Clearwater; apparently he'd also been hospitalized for some tests on his heart. Harry seemed to brush this off, and then glossed over the Julie conversation all together.
"Julie has mono and their phone lines are down, nothing to worry about," Charlie said after he hung up the phone. "No visitors allowed."
The first thing I did was go upstairs and check out mono on the internet. Short for mononucleosis. The fever and body aches checked out with Julie's symptoms, but there wasn't any swollen glands or rashes.
It was spread through saliva, typically through kissing.
My jaw set at that. Surely it would have been spread to me.
Billy was lying to Harry about Julie's illness.
But why?
I looked at the treatment, glaring at the screen when it said mono was contagious for a month.
I decided to allow them another week. That felt generous. The thought of not seeing or hearing from Jules for so long made me nervous.
The second week was long and grueling.
I made the resolution to relax. I'd promised myself that I would be less of a codependent mess, and I'd intended to keep it. Instead, I would try to find other things to occupy myself.
I'd deep-cleaned the house while I waited for a phone call the week prior. Now, I needed something to occupy my brain instead of just my hands. I was not handling the situation well.
Angela had noticed my change in behavior. I was on edge, not talking as much. She asked, in a hushed tone, if Jules and I were fighting.
"Fighting would require her actually talking to me," I grumbled in return. I stabbed at my salad.
She nudged her foot against mine under the table. Her smile was encouraging. "You two will figure it out."
I was feeling worse by the day. While the nightmares hadn't returned, I wasn't sleeping well. I kept tossing and turning, waking up with the familiar phantom pains in my chest. I woke up in cold sweats, shivering. I kept adding more blankets to my bed, curled under the heated blanket she'd given me.
On Monday, I bought a few small cans of paint at Newton's. I perused the aisles, grabbing stencils and paint brushes. I wouldn't be bored this week. At home, I pain-stakingly dragged all of my furniture away from the walls.
On Tuesday, my room became my muse. I started at the pale blue walls, the yellow lace curtains. All unchanging since I was a child. It could use a few personal touches.
I painted the lower part green of the wall green. The upper panels blue, the lower panels green. I had a vision.
The time I spent made me realize several things.
I needed to appreciate Charlie more. When I moved to Forks, Renée immediately changed my room to a yoga studio. Despite only staying with him for a few weeks a year, Charlie never changed my room. He kept it dusted and made sure my sheets were freshly washed. He always cared, even from a distance.
He asked about the smell of wet paint when he came home. I smiled and said I was decorating my room. That seemed to put him at ease. I'd spent the past week diving for the phone every time it rang. A distraction was good.
On Wednesday, I mapped out exactly how I wanted to style my room. I saw a bin of posters, and bought a few that I adored. My room would be my space, a reflection of who I was.
I started painting the flowers and vines on the lower portion of the walls. My artistic skills left something to be desired, but the more abstract the flowers, the more I adored them.
After I achieved the first wall, I realized I had been recreating the stark resemblance to the meadow. The one where Edward confessed he was a vampire to me, confessed that he loved me. I pondered changing the walls to the beaches of La Push and quickly shook away the thought.
I added sunflowers to the walls and smiled. Eventually, my little garden was in full bloom.
On Thursday, I realized exactly how much I missed Julie. The pain, long-lasting and dull, was akin to losing a tooth. I knew logically that was codependency. The house phone stayed by me at all times, just in case she would call. It was weird to be without her.
Codependency aside, I enjoyed being around her. I liked talking to her, seeing the world through her golden gaze. Life was so dull without her around. I just... liked my world better with her in it.
By Friday, I'd broken into Julie's duffel bag. I stole a shirt and started sleeping in it. Perhaps it was the smell or the reminder of her, but it helped. The pillow she'd brought to the sleepover was now a permanent fixture in my bed. I even raided her shampoo. Smelling like her helped. I slept better.
A backslide, but my room was done. And it looked pretty. Charlie even gave me a positive mumble.
Sunday morning, I called again. I had gone almost two weeks without hearing from Julie, and I was done.
Billy answered the third time I called.
"Hi, Billy! The phone lines are back up!" I faked a cheerful tone to my voice. "Is Jules up to seeing visitors yet? I was thinking of swinging by--"
"I'm sorry, Bella, but she's out." His voice was curt.
"Oh." The sentence hit me like a truck. I tried to remain positive. "So she's feeling better?"
"Yeah, turns out it wasn't mono. Just some other bug."
"Oh. Can you tell her to talk to me when she gets back?"
"Sure. Bye, Bella." Another click and I was alone again.
I stared down at the phone in my hands. Julie was fine enough to be out. Maybe she was with Quil. She just... didn't want to talk to me. Or see me.
I put the phone back on the base and tried to ignore the overwhelming sense of rejection. It was gnawing at my stomach. A necrotic organ needing to be removed.
"Everything okay?" Charlie asked as he set a steaming pile of french toast in front of me.
I'd made the mistake of making the phone call in the kitchen while Charlie made breakfast.
"Yeah." My voice cracked. I was going to cry. "Um, Jules is feeling better. So that's good."
"Oh. Are you going out? Or is she coming over? I can make more food."
"Neither."
The tone of my voice made him pause. It was a ridiculous sight, him wearing an apron and holding a spatula and flipping french toast. He looked like a concerned house wife.
"She's, uh, hanging out somewhere else."
I looked at the plate of food in front of me, my appetite suddenly gone.
I stood slowly, stepping away from the table. "I'm going upstairs."
"One piece." Charlie's voice bordered on begging. "Just eat one piece of french toast."
I nodded and sat back down. He removed the extra pieces and watched carefully as I ate my breakfast. He looked ill himself.
"I can stay home today," he volunteered. "I was going to go fishing, but I can stay home with you. I dont want you to be alone."
With a fake smile tacked onto my face, I said, "I'll be fine, Dad. Promise. I'm just a bit sad."
I retreated upstairs to my room. I curled into my bed and stared at the wall for a bit. I traced the flowers, admiring the outline of them. I thought about the things I could do.
The house was still thoroughly cleaned from my frenzy the week previous. Charlie had to stop me from scrubbing the baseboards with a toothbrush. Driving to La Push and stealing my motorcycle was a viable option, but I didn't have anywhere to stash it from Charlie. Angela was probably busy babysitting her younger brothers. There were no books that interested me. No places I wanted to visit. No new recipes I wanted to try. I didn't even have homework to occupy myself with.
I turned, my eyes falling on my desk. My thought drifted to the letters inside, and the letter I hadn't written yet. I finally stood up, grabbing a notebook and pen.
My hand hesitated on the page.
Dear Edward,
I paused and crossed that part out.
Dear Edward,
Edward.
My mind went blank. I sat there for a minute before sighing.
Edward.
There are no words.
"There. That's the letter," I said bitterly. I chewed on my lip and dug deep, ignoring the physical pain it caused.
Edward.
There are no words.
When you left, I became a shell of a person. I placed you at the center of my orbit; my entire life only mattered if you were in it.
You continuously disregarded my feelings. You hurt me deeper than anyone I'd ever known. You left me hurt and stumbling through the woods alone. For months after, I was stuck in that place.
I'm no longer in that place. Someone else helped stitch me back together. I'm better now. Not fully, because the scars you left are both physical and mental, but I'm happier now.
I'm not angry at you anymore, but I hope you don't come back.
Bella.
Of course, the letter didn't need to add that Julie has since abandoned me.
I disregarded that thought. Maybe Julie hadn't given up on me. Maybe I was misunderstanding or overreacting.
I packed some food and water into my backpack, along with a can of bear spray. I crammed the letters in. Two lighters, in case one didn't work.
Finally, I grabbed a baseball bat from beside the front door. I headed to the garage and looked at the torn metal of my truck's radio, a jumbled mess on the floor. I proceeded to take the bat to the radio, again and again, until it was in about a dozen small pieces. Then I put those pieces in a garbage bag and stuck it in the bin outside.
I found the map and compass in my truck. Julie had been polite enough to leave them behind. I looked to the sun necklace she'd given me, hanging from the rear view mirror.
"Keeps me close to your heart."
I tugged the necklace over my head, letting it rest on top of my shirt.
I followed the map, parking my truck in the usual spot. The woods seemed daunting alone. I missed Jules cheerfully walking beside me. I kept tripping, not having her there to catch me.
The entire situation reminded me a touch too much of the dreams I'd been plagued by formerly. Stumbling through the woods, lost and alone.The sensation was not unfamiliar to me. It made me nauseous.
At least I had a map this time.
Multiple times, I thought of going back. But I hated to waste the time and effort I'd already used.
My efforts were not in vain; after nearly three hours, I waltzed my way into a familiar clearing.
It felt wrong immediately; it was cloudy today, and the wrong season for wildflowers. Tall grass swayed like waves along a ocean.
I expected the pain in my chest, like ripping open stitches. There was nothing. The absence was astonishing. There was nothing left for me here.
I drank from my bottled water and took the letters from my backpack. I looked them over, one by one, before taking out the lighter.
And one by one, I lit the papers on fire. I made sure one was fully burned and stamped out before I lit the next. I didn't want to risk being arrested for arson.
The last two that sat in my hand were Alice and Edward. Easily the two I'd been the most attached to. The ones who hurt me the most with their departure.
I burned Alice first. The final goodbye to my friend.
A single tear slid down my cheek as I stamped out the last ashes of Edward's letter.
"Goodbye," I whispered.
I pressed a hand to my chest, still waiting for the pain. If anything, it felt as if a weight had been taken off my chest. A pressure released. I could breathe easier.
It was at that moment I'd noticed something was wrong. Not with me, but with the woods. The birds had stopped chirping. There was no chittering of bugs. The only sound was the wind flowing through the trees, on the grass. There was a storm brewing not far away; I could see the storm clouds overheard. Thunder rumbled in the distance. I could hear the rain beginning elsewhere.
Then I saw a figure across the clearing. I froze, fearing a stranger, but slowly started to recognize the face. The ashen skin, beautiful features, and long black dreadlocks. It was too cloudy for him to sparkle.
"Laurent?" I asked. I felt a moment of joy at the recognition before the logical fear set in.
I hadn't seen him since he'd left for Alaska, to visit the Denali. He'd been in a coven with James and Victoria before. Seeing him here sent alarm bells through my brain. Something in his features didn't look right.
"Bella?" He sounded astonished.
"You remember me," I said. I couldn't quite figure out what my tone was.
He grinned, beautiful teeth shining. "I didn't expect to see you here."
"Well, I do live here. Weren't you in Alaska?"
He stopped just a few steps away from me. I studied his features, trying to find out what looked wrong.
His eyes. If he'd been following an animal diet, like the Cullens and the Denali, then his eyes would be a shade of yellow. Pale meant well-fed, dark meant hunger.
Laurent's eyes were a dark red. He'd been feasting on human blood.
And he was hungry.
I was going to die here.
The thought didn't terrify me as much as it should have. I was suddenly thankful that I'd come here without Julie; she would be safe. Charlie would find my truck gone. My disappearance would be blamed on the bear, when they found my truck at the edge of the woods. Charlie would feel horrible. Renée would be devastated. I hadn't responded to her emails these past two weeks. But they would be safe, alive.
These thoughts rushed through my head as Laurent studied me curiously. Maybe he was listening to my pulse suddenly skyrocket.
"I did go to Alaska. As it turns out, their lifestyle isn't for me. I don't know how they remain so steadfast." His smile was friendly. "When I found the Cullens' home empty, I thought they moved on."
"They did," I agreed.
"I'm shocked they didn't take you as well. Weren't you a sort of pet to them?" He asked curiously.
I tried to smile. "Something like that."
He hummed and started to walk, circling me. "Do they visit often?"
I doubted anything would save me. I could only buy myself a few more moments of life.
"Often," I lied. "Edward and Alice most frequently. Jasper had an accident and they had to leave."
"Ah," he said with a smile. He tapped a fingernail to his temple. "I struggle with those accidents as well, from time to time"
"I'll have to tell Carlisle you visited," I lied further. "Though I don't think I'll tell Edward. He's still sensitive about the James situation."
My wrist burned at the memory. The thunder loomed overhead. Rain started dripping from the sky.
"Is he?" Still pacing around me. A shark circling the chum. I felt nauseous.
"Did Victoria ever find you?" I asked. A thoughtless question. If anyone wanted me dead, it would be her.
Laurent stopped. "Yes. I actually came here as a favor for her." He grimaced. "She won't be happy about this."
"About what?" I was happy to keep him on the subject that made him hesitate.
"About me killing you," he said simply.
"Oh," I said weakly. My pulse soared again.
"She wanted to save that part for herself," he continued. "A mate for a mate. Your Edward killed her James, she thinks it an even trade. She asked me to get a lay of the land for her, but I hadn't imagined it would be quite so easy to find you. Perhaps she was mistaken; you mustn't have meant so much to him, had he abandoned you so easily."
I winced at the truth in his words. "So why do her the favor?"
"I have no quarrel with you, Bella, truly. It will be quick and painless. This isn't personal; I was already hunting. This is just... thirst."
I couldn't think of anything else to buy myself time. "You won't get away with this," I lied.
"Humans go missing every day. Many have gone missing in this area in particular. The scent will wash away with the rain." His face was open, eager. He truly thought he was being kind to me. "You're very lucky that I was the one to find you, Bella. If you knew what was planned for you... You'd thank me for this."
I believed him.
"It will be painless," Laurent promised. "You won't feel a thing."
I nodded, closing my eyes and tensing. I thought of Charlie and Julie. I wish I had made up with her before this. I hoped they wouldn't search the woods for me. I wished I had been a better friend, a better daughter.
I prepared for the hit, but nothing came. After a few moments, I opened my eyes to find Laurent staring into the woods behind me. His gaze was fixed, eyes wide in horror.
He took a step backward, exhaling. "I don't believe it." The tone in his voice was remarkably close to fear.
I thought he might have been joking, a cruel jest before my demise. But the look in his eyes was genuine terror. He was slowly stepping backwards, gaze glued to the forest. I turned my head to the treeline behind me.
What could be so fearsome that it scared a vampire?
I couldn't make out anything at first, but the darkness grew larger. It was huge; tall as a horse, but thicker, more muscular. Pitch-black fur and teeth the size of kitchen knives coming from its snarling muzzle.
The bear. The one everyone had been hunting.
But it wasn't a bear. The shape was distinctly canine. I tried to grasp how a wolf could get that large.
I resolved not to move a muscle. The wolf seemed intent on Laurent. Perhaps it wouldn't notice me. I held my breath. I didn't want to blink.
As the giant creature stepped forward, four more wolves followed. They were in a V formation, like geese. No two were the same color.
The one that came closest to me was a deep russet color that was vaguely familiar. If I reached out a hand, I could have touched it.
I took a wheezing breath and tried not to sob. The creature paused, ears perking straight up and turning its giant head to stare at me. The eyes were nearly pitch black, gazing at me. There was an intelligence behind those eyes. I hadn't expected it.
It let out a deep whine. I blinked and focused on not breathing again. A single tear slowly slid down my cheek.
At least Laurent would kill me quickly. Wolves would not grant me that same kindness.
I thought of Julie suddenly, thankful I hadn't brought her. First Laurent and now mutant wolves the size of horses. At least she remained safe.
A growl from the giant black wolf in front caused the red-brown wolf to snap its head forward.
I followed their gaze to Laurent, who promptly turned and disappeared into the forest. In the blink of an eye, the wolves followed him. I hadn't anticipated they could run that fast.
All that was left were giant paw prints in the dirt, the soil thoroughly disturbed.
I fell to my knees, breathing so hard that I was practically dry-heaving. Tears running down my cheeks, I ran straight out of the clearing and into the woods, trying to remember the way I came.
I didn't know who would win; the wolves or Laurent. I can't imagine his granite skin would taste better than my flesh, but I'd appreciated them making a meal of him instead. If they got him, they would surely be coming me me next.
And if Laurent had won, I would be next.
Neither scenario worked in my favor.
It took over two hours to get back to my truck. I gunned it as fast as I could to my home.
Charlie's cruiser was in the driveway. I ran inside the house, slamming the locks in place behind me.
"Bella?" Charlie asked. He held a spatula in his hand. He'd been cooking dinner. Sans apron this time.
I grabbed ahold of him, hugging him close. He paused before hugging me back. I never hugged him.
"What happened?" He asked. "You went hiking?"
"I saw the bear-- but it's not a bear, it's wolves. Giant mutant wolves. And there's five of them."
He noted the state of my duress. I was soaked to the bone, caked in mud, bruised and bloody, and bordering on hysterical.
"Take a shower and calm down. Then we're going to eat and you can tell me everything."
That's what I did. I ate everything on my plate; a large steak, mashed potatoes, and steamed broccoli. Charlie went all out with his meal.
And I explained as much as I could, leaving out the Laurent portion. I went for a walk in the woods to get some closure from the Cullens, the wolves saw something past me and hunted it down instead of me. He wrote down notes about the wolves, the area I was in.
"No more hiking," he commanded. I agreed wholeheartedly. Before I headed back upstairs for bed, he asked, "Hey, didn't you say Julie was out today?"
"That's what Billy said."
"Thought I saw her on my way to grab Harry. Maybe I was mistaken. Her hair was too short, anyway."