Movies
I woke up surrounded by warmth. I sniffed and rubbed my face into the pillow, frowning when I noted that it felt different. Not bad, but foreign. I peeled open my eyes and inhaled deeply, smiling.
I was entangled in Jules. It was hard to tell where she ended and I began. I tried moving away, and quickly found it was no use. My head was fuzzy and my throat was dry. I cleared my throat.
"Good morning," a quiet voice murmured from a short distance away.
I lifted my head to the bed across the room. Angela waved, smiling. I lifted an arm enough to wave back.
Julie made a content noise and rubbed a hand across her eyes. She groaned. "My head."
I used the newfound freedom as a way to free myself, sitting up. There was some yelling from downstairs, her brothers yelling for Angela to get breakfast. I tentatively stood, testing my legs before grabbing the empty wine bottles and shoving them back into Jessica's bag. The last thing we needed was Angela's parents finding them and being upset.
"I'll get a plate for Jules if you get a plate for Jess," I murmured to Angela.
She nodded. I followed her downstairs, talking politely to her parents while we grabbed our plates.
"You girls must have been up late," Mrs. Webber noted. "Maybe you can take a power nap today before the movies. You both look so tired."
Angela smiled to me and we headed back upstairs, two plates each with bottled waters under our arms.
Jessica was still out like a light when we got back upstairs. I could hear her snoring down the hall. I sat beside Jules, nudging her with my foot.
Julie groaned and tried to curl herself around me. I chuckled and put the food by her face. Her eyes opened, and she sat up slowly as she took the plate and water.
"Thank you," she murmured before wiping at her eye again. She smiled at me, looking content. "Did you sleep well?"
"Like a rock."
"You were quiet. No kicking and screaming at all."
"Thankfully." I smiled to her. "Come on, we need to eat."
She nodded and started assembling an egg and bacon sandwich on toast. Angela was still shaking Jessica awake, despite her protesting.
"What time is it?" Julie asked with her mouth full.
"Almost ten," Angela responded. "We're supposed to meet everyone at Newton's in a few hours."
Jessica was groaning, curled onto her side. Angela looked at her warily before grabbing a waste bin and handing it to Jessica. The girl promptly started heaving any contents from last night into the bin.
"Hangover," Jules advised me.
"Poor thing." I sipped at my water. "Ang, can I raid your medicine cabinet for some Tylenol?"
"Please bring the whole bottle." She grimaced at Jessica before making her way to the couch-bed with us.
When we were properly medicated and fed, Angela and I cleaned up the kitchen as thanks to her parents. Jules cleaned up the bedroom, eyeing Jessica from a distance. We all got dressed and brushed our teeth while Jessica stayed sick.
We headed out not long after. Angela promised she would take care of Jess. We drive to my house. It was empty, thankfully, with Charlie at Harry Clearwater's.
We didn't speak of last night the entire drive. Jules seemed content not to address it. She absently held my hand, looking out the window happily.
I headed upstairs, Julie following me, and dropped off our bags in my room. I grabbed some clothes, murmuring that I needed to wash the smell of wine off of me.
In the shower, I thought about how to bring it up and steeled my resolve to have the conversation.
My backbone immediately softened when I entered my room again. Jules was sitting on my bed, looking small. Her head was ducked. She stared at her shoes, hands tucked under herself.
"Last night, if it was because we'd been drinking or because you were just curious," she paused. "Then I understand. I'm flattered, really. But I don't want to stop being friends because you don't like me back."
I took a step toward her.
She continued, stumbling over her words. "I just lost Embry, I can't stand the thought of losing you, too. You've somehow wormed your way into becoming my best friend. In the span of a month. So if you want me to forget last night, I will. Because I can't just not have you around, Bells. Truly."
I walked to her, tucking my fingers under her chin. She looked up at me, looking terrified to the point of tears. I bent, my lips touching hers softly. When I came back up, she was smiling.
"Oh, thank God," she exhaled. "That was torture."
I smiled and sat beside her, holding my hand out expectantly. Her fingers laced through mine.
"I don't know what this is. But you're not going to lose me. That, I promise you."
She beamed. "I'll take it."
Jules looked down at our joined hands, rubbing her thumb along the back of it. "This is okay?" She asked.
I nodded.
"And hugs are okay?" She continued.
"Yes," I said softly.
Her voiced dropped even lower, as if she was worried someone would overhear. "And kissing..."
I fought a smile and failed. "I rather like those," I said softly. "But I think I still need to go slow for a while."
I thought of the rather vivid dream I'd had last week, of last night. The pure and total need to fuse myself to Julie.
She looked at me curiously. "Something is on your mind. Something besides this."
There was a moment of hesitation. "I am not great at relationships. You were right, the times you joked about me being clingy and codependent. I didn't know who I was outside of Edward. So when he left, I stopped functioning all together. And I don't want to do the same thing with you. I daresay that we both deserve better."
We were still holding hands. She didn't pull away. I took that as a positive sign.
She raised our joined hands to kiss my knuckles. "I don't want to be your whole life, Bella. I just want to be a part of it. A big part, preferably. But I want you to have a full life outside of me. With friends and hobbies. Besides, you'll be going to college in the fall. I'm sure you'll make plenty of cool, older friends while you're away and forget about little ole small-town me."
I smiled. "I could take a gap year. Or do online school. We could go away to college together when you graduate next year. You said your sisters love Hawaii, right?"
"We've kissed about three times and you're already putting off college for me," Julie snickered. "I figured you'd want to go back to Phoenix."
"I wanted to go to Hawaii, actually, before I moved here. Be an English professor."
"You said before. What about now?"
I smiled glumly. "Codependency. I planned on going to the university of Alaska with Edward. And now... I don't know. I don't even know what I want to be anymore. I don't have any hobbies. I just started being personable with my friends."
"You read," Jules pointed out. "That's a hobby. And I believe the motorcycles count. And you cook."
"You're right." I looked at my feet. "Did you ever read any Sylvia Plath?"
"I don't know who that is."
I chuckled. "Well, she's a famous writer. Tragic death. Anyway, one of her stories is about a fig tree. And she's sitting at the base of the tree, staring up at the fruit. And every fig is a life she could have lived; a mother with children, a woman who travels the world, a life where she takes many lovers with strange names. But she sits there, paralyzed with all of her options, and watches as everything she could ever be just withers away and dies in front of her."
I continued, "And that's what I feel like now. I was drifting through life, doing what was expected. And then when I met him, I didn't have to choose anymore. There was only him. And then he left, and I stopped existing." I turned to her. "And now there's only you. And a bunch of figs, apparently."
Jules smiled and moved to kiss my cheek, whispering in my ear, "I think you can have as many figs as you want. I would also enjoy to be one." After a moment, she whispered, "I've only ever heard of fig newtons before, never an actual fruit tree."
I snorted and started laughing. "I hate that you do that. Make me laugh when I'm trying to be serious."
"I don't believe you hate it at all," she countered. "I think you enjoy the levity I bring."
"Levity? That's a new word for you."
She smiled proudly. "I'm working on expanding my vocabulary for you. Apparently I have to add Sylvia Plath and her fig book to my library."
I laughed again, then looked at my bedside clock. "Are you going to shower? We need to start getting ready."
"Join me?" She asked eagerly.
I stuttered, a blush rising to my cheeks, a response failing.
She grinned and kissed my forehead before standing. "I'm joking. Your response was hilarious though."
We left an hour later. Jules had used my shampoo, smiling and saying she wanted to smell like me. We drove to her house, her darting out and following behind me to Newton's in the Rabbit.
Lauren had convinced Tyler not to join us. Jessica was still violently ill and at home resting. Ben was sick again, this time with the flu. Angela was taking care of him.
That left Mike, sitting outside of Newton's by himself.
"We could just cancel, since everyone is sick," I suggested weakly.
"Oh, no, I'm super excited about the movie," Mike said. "I'll drive."
"Actually," I insisted. "Julie just got finished her car. She rebuilt it from scratch; I promised she could drive us."
Mike visibly dimmed. "Fine."
He climbed into the back seat, looking sullen. I shot Julie a warning look before we got into our respective seats.
Jules and I chatted away while Mike sat, a wet blanket, in the back seat. I found myself wishing he'd just stayed home so I could enjoy time with Julie.
"Does the radio work in this thing?" Mike complained at one point.
"Yeah, but Bella doesn't like music."
Mike gave me a strange look. "What do you mean you don't like music?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I just don't like it."
When we got to the theater, Mike had chosen some action movie that promised plenty of gore. I sat between him and Jules. The opening credits alone had four people exploding and one beheading.
Mike had his hand on the arm rest beside me, open like a bear trap. His face was stiff as he watched the movie with a blanket expression.
Jules' hand was low, sitting on her seat. I weaved my pinky finger to hers. I saw her smile softly. Then she started snickering. I looked at her curiously.
"Oh, come on. The blood squirted twenty feet out of the guy's neck. That's so fake."
She kept pointing out the ridiculous nature of the deaths on screen, and soon I found myself giggling with her.
About half an hour into the movie, Mike leaned forward with his head in his hands. I could see him sweating.
"Mike, you okay?" I whispered.
"No," he moaned. "I think I'm going to be sick."
He bolted down the steps, heading for the door. I got up to follow him, and Julie copied me. We made our way down the stairs, I turned slightly to talk to Jules.
"You don't want to watch the carnage?" I asked.
"I'm good, this movie sucks."
Mike wasn't in the deserted hallway. We walked to the restrooms, Jules shamelessly ducking inside of the men's bathroom. She came out a moment later.
"Oh yeah, he's gonna be in there for a while."
She sat on the carpeted stairs that led to the upstairs threatres, patting the spot beside her. I sat.
"Your date is a total marshmallow," Julie pointed out with glee. "You should go for someone with a stronger stomach."
I elbowed her side and laid my head on her shoulder for a moment before sitting up straight again. She looked at me curiously before holding out her hand questioningly.
I held it, turning our hands and sighing.
"You like me, right?" Julie asked.
"You know I do."
"Better than the guy puking his entire stomach out?" She gestured towards the bathroom.
"Definitely."
"And more than any other girl you know?" Her tone was calm. She already knew the answer.
"More than any of the guys, too," I added.
"And you think I'm sort of beautiful."
I flushed. "Yes."
She held up our hands. "And this doesn't bother you."
"No." I rather liked any contact Jules afforded me.
"And you don't care what he thinks." Another glare at the bathroom.
I scoffed. "Of course not."
"So it's just the other one? The Cullen?" She asked quietly.
I hesitated before nodding. "I need to make my peace with it, but I'm doing better."
She smiled. "I'm prepared to wait then."
I felt a little stab at my chest. I exhaled slowly. "Thank you."
Jules ducked to whisper to me, "I was worried you weren't sure about me because I'm a girl."
I gave her a shy smile. "For me, being attracted to someone is rare, but I don't think gender is a factor in it. If I like you, I like you." I winked at her. "And I like you."
She grinned brightly at me. "Fantastic."
Her free hand went to my wrist, tracing the scars on my wrist. The ones I'd gotten from being bit by James.
"Still weird," she commented.
Mike stumbled in front of us, face pale as a corpse and covered in sweat. He looked like he had sepsis.
"Do you mind if we leave early?" He mumbled.
Julie stood, helping me up. We headed to the front.
"Movie too much for you?" She asked before darting off to the concession stands.
Mike managed a feeble glare at her retreating figure. "I started getting nauseous during the commercials," he told me.
Julie came back with an empty popcorn bucket and a serious look in her eyes. "Please," was all she said.
We kept the windows rolled down, Mike sticking his head out to inhale the cold air.
I shivered and huddled as close to Jules as the seatbelt would allow. Jules was still burning up, maybe even warmer than before.
We stopped by Newton's, and I drove Mike's car back to his house for him. Jules followed dutifully, driving us back to Newton's.
"I hate to tell you that you're right, but I'm starting to feel weird, too," she complained. "Or else I'd come over."
"Oh, no!" I groaned. "Want me to drive you home?"
"Then you'd be stuck at my house. I need to talk to my Dad anyway; I don't like how we left things. It's better if I go home alone."
"Your duffel bag is still at my house," I pointed out. She was sjpposed to stay the whole weekend. "Want me to drop it off?"
"Nah, I'll see you on Tuesday." She smiled to me. "I hope I didn't get you sick, too."
"You probably did," I sighed before smiling back at her. "Which means I can do this."
I leaned forward to give her a small but lingering kiss.
She grinned as I pulled away.
"Call my house when you get home," I ordered.
"I'll pull over to puke if I have to. Drive safe, okay?"
I nodded and then noticed something on her dash. Settled safely between the speedometer and the gas gauge was a picture from the photobooth. The one where we were kissing eachother's cheeks.
I smiled to myself and hurried out of the car. She watched as I secured myself safely into the truck, waiting until I drove away before she did as well.
When I got home, Charlie was sitting on the couch watching the game.
"Movie over already?" He asked.
He made his way into the kitchen as I started the kettle. Jules had gotten me a mint tea one day; it may help with my stomach if I got sick.
"Mike puked; stomach flu or something."
"You feel okay?" Charlie asked. He kept a distance.
"I feel fine for now. Jules was feeling sick when we were leaving, she's had a fever for a few days now."
"Maybe the flu. I'll make you some chicken soup first thing in the morning, grab some ginger ale."
I smiled at him. "Thanks, Dad. I'm going to wait by the phone in my room; Jules promised she'd call when she got home."
"Sleep well, there's leftover pizza and wings in the fridge if you're feeling peckish."
I took my mint tea and bag upstairs. I unpacked my duffel bag and threw the dirty clothes into the hamper. I eyed Julie's bag, curious despite the fact I'd packed most of it.
I waited patiently as time ticked by. Jules had a habit of speeding, so surely she'd be home by now. I regretted not dropping her off. Maybe she was on the side of the road vomiting.
I allowed an extra fifteen minutes before I called the Black household. It rang until the voicemail sounded. I frowned and redialed, sure that I'd typed in the wrong number.
Billy answered on the second try.
"Hello?" He asked. He sounded distracted.
"Hey, Billy. It's Bella. I was just wanting to make sure Jules made it home okay. She wasn't feeling well earlier..."
"Julie's here. She was, uh, too sick to call. She's not feeling well still."
"Let me know if you need anything help," I volunteered. "I can bring some soup and Gatorade."
"No, no," he said hastily. "We'll be fine. You stay home."
The way he said it was like an order.
"Okay," I said uneasily.
"Bye, Bella." The line disconnected.
I put the phone back on the base, frowning to myself. I was glad she'd made it home safe, but hearing the words didn't calm me.
I washed my face and went to bed, inky dreams following me. I dreamed of murky waters, wading through the shallows in an attempt to find a misty shoreline.
Charlie found me on the bathroom floor when he woke up at seven. I was curled on my side, groaning.
"Stomach bug?" He guessed.
"Yeah," I groaned back.
He fetched me some blankets and a pillow, making a bed in the bath tub. I was close enough to lean over to the toilet when needed.
I leaned my face against the cool porcelain of the tub's ledge and slept when I could.
Charlie went to the store when it opened, stocking up on supplies. He kept me fed and watered to the best of his ability. I mostly drank liquids; broth, Gatorade, or ginger ale. I ate three saltine crackers when I felt particularly brave.
By nightfall, I felt decent enough to go to my own room. I'm sure Charlie was grateful to be able to use the bathroom again; I didn't dare think about where he'd went while I occupied the toilet.
I tried calling Jules again.
"Hello?" She was still sick, it was evident in her voice; broken and cracking. She sounded congested. Maybe she'd been crying.
"Oh, Jules. You sound horrible."
"I feel horrible."
"I'm so sorry I asked you to go to the movies with me. I didn't know."
"I'm glad I went," she whispered into the receiver. "This isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself."
"I've been sick all day, but I'm feeling better now. Maybe you'll start feeling better soon," I said hopefully.
"I don't think I have the same thing you have," she murmured back. I could imagine her dozing off on the phone; she sounded exhausted.
"You don't have the stomach flu?" I asked.
"No. No, it's something else." She sounded certain.
"Well what's wrong with you?"
"Everything," she groaned. "Everything hurts. Every part of me." She sounded like she was going to start crying.
"Do you want me to bring you some food?" I asked. "Tell me how to help."
"No." Her tone was serious, panicked. "You can't come here."
I ignored the flash of pain that gave me. "I've been exposed to it, already, Jules."
"I'll call you when you can come by again. Okay?"
I paused. "Okay."
After a long silence, I whispered into the phone, "Are you sure you're okay, Jules? You're freaking me out."
She was silent for a long moment before her broken voice murmured, "Bye, Bella."
I heard the line click and the buzz of nothing. I rubbed at the sudden soreness in my chest.
"Bye, Jules."