Full Moon

On Monday during lunch, Angela was absolutely jazzed. She was very happy that I brought Julie to the mall with us and wanted to schedule another hang out. 

"I'll be busy this weekend, obviously," she added with a blush. "But what about next weekend? We can have a girls' night and debrief. Like a sleepover." 

"Can I come?" Jessica asked from the other side of the lunch table.

Lauren sneered and turned her entire body away, focusing on Tyler. 

It may have been the lost puppy look in Jessica's eyes, but Angela agreed. Jessica looked thrilled. 

"We can do face masks, watch scary movies," Angela said. "I'm so excited." 

"But not as excited as this weekend," Jessica added with a wink. "That reminds me, come to my car after school. I have a present for you two." 

Angela and I exchanged looks but agreed anyway. 

"What about our movie night?" Mike whined from the other side of Tyler. "We're never going to do it if you keep planning other things."

Angela groaned. "Fine. The weekend after girl's night." 

"Why can't we just do it on the same weekend?" Jessica asked. 

"We could do the sleepover on Friday and movie night on Saturday," I volunteered. I would essentially be kidnapping Jules for the whole weekend at that point. 

Angela sighed. "Fine, but girl time is more important." 

In the parking lot after school, we huddled around Jessica's car as she reached into her back seat. She pulled out two boxes, smiling eagerly. 

"Here, you each need one of these for sure." 

I took the box mechanically, rolling it in my hands. The picture on the side was purple and phallic-shaped. I felt blood rush to my cheeks and shoved the box back at her. 

Jess handed it back. "Seriously, Bella. You're the most uptight person I know. Maybe it will help." 

Angela was also blushing. "I don't know, Jess..." 

"It will help. If you know what you like, it will help Ben out a lot. Masturbating is totally natural and shouldn't be shamed." 

I knew logically that Jessica was probably right. People had sex. People masturbated. So why was I so embarassed by the mere thought of it? 

I sheepishly put the box into my bag and smiled awkwardly. "Thanks, Jess."

Angela nodded. "I'm so going to have to hide this from my brothers. They get into everything." 

Jess smiled. "You're both welcome. And they're rechargeable, so you don't have to worry about the batteries dying on you mid session."

I threw the box into my nightstand as soon as I got home, hours later after work. 

That night, I wrote to Alice. 

Alice -

I miss you like I'd miss a limb. You were my first best friend. I wish I could tell you about Julie. I think you'd love her as much as I do. I wish I could just talk to you. 

Things were bad for a while. Sometimes it feels like none of you ever really existed. But I'm doing better now. I'm trying to make normal friends. Human friends. 

I wish I could see the future and know if I'll ever see you again.

 I really do miss you, Alice. I hope you and Jasper are okay. 

- Bella

I shed a tear with that letter. It was placed in the envelope with Esme's and Carlisle's. 

Tuesday, Jules and I went to local consignment stores and thrift shops to find her some clothes. I noticed that Jules had the Sunflower bracelet around her wrist, just as I wore my Starry Night one. I didn't say anything but smiled to myself. 

I could see why clothes shopping was an extreme sport for Jules. She was nearing six foot four now, so finding women's clothes was difficult. If it was long enough to cover her body appropriately, it parachuted around her like a tent. Pants were impossible; her legs were a mile long but her waist was relatively small despite the gentle rounding at her hips. It became glaringly obvious why all the pants she wore had drawstrings. 

Maybe I could take up sewing and take in her clothes for her. It would be good to have a craft. There was a sewing machine still in the box at the house; one of Renee's flights of fancy that she immediately ditched. I made a mental note to work on it. 

"Oh, hey, are you busy next weekend?" I asked. 

"No. What are we doing?" She asked while continuing to paw through the clothing racks. 

"Would you be okay with a sleepover at Angela's house? She really took to you. Jessica would also be there." 

Jules paused. "I've never been to a sleepover before."

"Really?" I offered her a pair of jeans that were almost her measurements; they may be too long. 

"I was mostly friends with boys growing up. I mean, I'd make forts with Rachel and Rebecca in our living room. Or spend the night at a cousin's. But unrelated female friends? Never." 

"Well consider yourself invited. I'll pick you up after I get off of work next Friday." I followed her to the changing rooms, standing outside of the door. "How are Rebecca and Rachel, anyway?" 

"They're good. Rachel is trying to take more classes to finish her degree quicker. Rebecca is always on the move with Solomon's surfing competitions, but she had a storefront online that she sells her art on."

"Nice," I said absently. I saw a used tent for resale and remembered another quest I was on. "Hey, are you into hiking?" 

"Yes." Her tone was cautious. "What are you wanting to get into now? Cave diving?"

I chuckled. "No, there's this pretty field I saw once. Full of wildflowers. I wanted to track it down again." 

"Isn't there a bear roaming around eating hikers?" She asked from the other side of the door. 

"We'll bring bear spray, or just wait until the hunters get it. Oh, and that group movie date is the next Saturday." 

Jules came out of the dressing room, grimacing at the clothes in the discard pile. "At least I'll be beautiful for the movie night. Girls do mud masks and stuff at sleepovers, right?"

"I have no clue." 

She inspected my face. "How's the head wound?"

"Stopped hurting, no infection. Think we can ride motorcycles on Thursday?" I asked hopefully.

Julie smiled and nodded. "Fine. But only because you need the practice." 

She ended up with one pairs of jeans, two pairs of sweats, several shorts, and a handful of shirts. She said it was a successful haul compared to her usual trips. 

She also got the two of us leather jackets; mine a worn brown, hers a soft grey. She said it was for the motorcycles and expressed concern for road rash. 

On Wednesday, I went grocery shopping after work. Charlie helped me put them up and we ate questionable Chinese take-out that he'd ordered in. 

We chatted idly about our lives; Dad with work and his concerns with the missing hikers, me with school and work and friends. He seemed happier lately. 

I called Renée afterwards, told her about my trip to the mall and all of the shops we visited. She was enjoying her book club, though she hadn't read the material yet.

Thursday was bikes with Jules. Quil was at the Black household when we got back. He was already inside talking to Billy and made it easier for us to sneak the bikes back in the garage safely. 

Notably, I still didn't wreck. Jules felt comfortable enough to ride alongside me. We joked on the car ride back about our unofficial motorcycle club.

The three of us went to the grocery store and got supplies to make pizza. Despite the stories of Quil's various school fights, he was a joy to be around. Somehow more boisterous than Jules. He kept flexing at any passer-by. 

Billy and I shared a pepperoni pizza while Jules and Quil each had their own. Jules went for extra cheesy, extra meat. Quil made a carnivore pizza. 

As it turns out, Quil was suffering academically. Presumably because he was constantly being suspended for fighting. The three of us ended up doing homework at the dining table. 

It was nice to see Jules spend time with her other friend. I had caught a few silences where I swear it seemed like she was waiting for Embry to chime in. There was a sort of emptiness between her and Quil, a joint mourning. 

They chose not to talk about it.

That night, I wrote to Jasper. 

Jazz, hi. We didn't talk a lot so I won't make this note long. 

I don't blame you for everyone leaving. I hope you don't blame me for your family moving. I know you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

I'm sorry that I'm so clumsy. And that I bleed easy.

I think about how you can alter emotions, and I wish I had the same gift. I wish I could make my friends happy. 

I hope you're happy, Jazz. You deserve it. You all do.

Takes care of Alice.

- Bella

Friday was madness at Newton's. Everyone was stocking up on their gear for the bear. One hunter even bought me a can of bear spray "just in case." 

Mike didn't even get a chance to talk to me. Not for lack of effort; he tried approaching conversation in the few seconds between customers. 

I wished them luck on their search.