Full Moon

On Saturday, I had to get my stitches removed. Charlie and Jules sat on either side of me, holding a hand each, while they were taken out.

Dr. Gerandy chuckled at the sight. "You have quite a fan club."

"She's very popular," Jules chimed in. 

"I can tell. Now, Bella, vitamin E oil will help with the scarring but you may want to wait until it's healed a bit more. We just remove facial stitches immediately to prevent scarring." Dr. Gerandy worked quickly. Maybe next time he'd use dissolvable ones. 

"Maybe you two should stay out of the garage for a few weeks," Charlie advised cautiously. He looked squeamish at the metal leaving my skull. 

I felt a surge of panic. "I'll be more careful, Dad. I promise." 

He sighed but nodded. "You two good here?" He looked to me and Jules. 

"I think we got it." 

I was cleared to leave about half an hour later. They said I was healing well. As soon as we got back into my truck, I turned to Jules. 

"So, riding today?" I asked. 

"I got you a helmet," she said with a sigh. "It would be nice if you were at least a bit more cautious about it." 

"No use crying over spilled blood," I said cheerfully as I headed back to La Push. 

To my credit, I did fairly well riding that day. I didn't go above twenty miles per hour, but the tremors in my hand still refused to cease.

That night I wrote my goodbye to Carlisle. 

Carlisle, thank you for taking care of of me and our community. You're a fantastic doctor and I'm glad you've devoted your life to your greatest skill. You always took care of me; I never scarred when you were my doctor. Thank you for healing my (many) contusions. 

You were a fantstic second Father in the short time I knew you. 

I hope you have a long and happy life. 

- Bella

Jules wasn't ready when I dropped by to pick her up Sunday morning. Billy answered the door, looking exhausted. 

"Help her," he whispered in a grave voice. 

My brows raised. He pointed down the hall to her room. I followed and saw the mayhem for myself.

Clothes were everywhere. Her room was madness. Julie stood among it all, looking shell-shocked. 

"Hey, Jules... You okay?"

"I don't know what to wear," she whispered. She looked to be on the verge of tears. Her bottom lip quivered. "I'm outgrowing everything."

I stepped around the minefield of clothes carefully. "We can get you some new stuff while we're out. Stuff you can actually fit into." 

"That doesn't help me now." 

"What you're wearing right now looks cute. Very nineties." 

She wore a pair of loose black sweats, low on her hips, with a tight shirt that was showing off her midriff. Converse sneakers.

"My sweats are the only thing that fit me. That and basketball shorts. I just grew out of my last pair of jeans." Jules glared at them offending pile of denim. "And all of my shirts are too tight." 

"Let me see." 

I looked through what remained of her closet and finally found a coffee-colored sweater. I held it up to her. 

"Try that on." 

She did, shamelessly changing in front of me. I fidgeted nervously and looked at a corner of the room until she gave me the 'okay' to look. The sleeves were long enough, but it still showed off her stomach a little. 

Jules smiled a touch. "We kinda match." 

I looked down, and we very nearly did; our tops were the same color, though mine was a turtleneck, and my pants were black skinny jeans instead of sweats. Our converse were the same. 

"Why are you worried about what you wear anyway? You could wear a potato sack and pull it off." I looked away as I said this, suddenly shy. 

She fussed over the non-existant lint on her sweater. "I want to look better than your friends. I need it to be obvious that I'm the coolest friend you have." 

"You are the coolest friend I have; you don't need to prove it to them. Want me to do your hair?" 

"Yes, please." 

Twenty minutes later, Billy thanked me quietly as we headed out. I styled her hair mostly down, a lock from either side going around and tying in the back. Some lips loss borrowed from me, and she was ready to go. 

We were still the first ones there. 

Jules fidgeted with her hands nervously and paced as we waited inside. The mall was nearly empty, the occasional elderly person walking by. 

I saw a photo booth and decided to take the opportunity to get Jules to sit down. "C'mon." 

I hadn't taken any photos since my eighteenth birthday party, but it was better late than never.

Jules sat beside me, chewing her lip and looking through the different frames to choose from. We eventually chose a basic one and she immediately panicked when the camera started to count down. 

"What pose should we do?" She asked nervously. 

I didn't think this far ahead.

Five. 

"I don't know," I stated.

Four. 

"Crap we gotta do something. Silly face?" She suggested. 

Three.

I had an idea. "Look ahead," I ordered. 

Two.

Jules nodded and looked ahead. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to her cheek. 

One.

The camera captured Julie's shocked expression, me kissing her cheek. 

"Outlandish," I said in return, grinning. "Help you loosen up." 

There was a shiny lip gloss mark on her cheek. She laughed back at me and the camera went off again. 

"These are going to be horrible. Here, look ahead." She kissed my cheek in return. I couldn't help but grin ear to ear. The camera flashed. 

We spent about twenty bucks in that little booth, choosing different frames and taking pictures. After the fourth set of photos, I could hear Angela calling for us.

I scooped the film sets and put them in my bag. Jules slid out behind me, back to her normal self, and waved hi to the group.  

"Guys, this is Julie. Julie, this is," and then I rattled off everyone's names. "But I'm sure you remember a few of their faces." 

"Oh yeah, you guys come to La Push sometimes."

"So, where to first?" Jessica asked. 

"There's this lazer tag arcade we're wanting to go to," Mike stated. The guys nodded in agreement. 

"Sounds fun," Jessica agreed. 

I imagined stumbling in the dark with obstacles in the way. I couldn't hide my grimace. "Well I'm really not--"

"Actually, there's this book store I wanted to show Bella," Angela said. She slowly moved to my side. "So we're going to go there. We'll meet you guys after?" 

"Uh, okay. Sure." Mike nodded and their group parted with ours. 

I turned to Jules. "You don't want to play lazer tag? It seems like you're thing."

"Not with him, no. He would be easily wounded by my skills and he looks like a crier." She smiled brightly. "Where to?" 

Angela was blushing now. "It's embarassing, but Victoria's Secret." Offhand, she said, "You both have something on your cheek." 

She started leading the way. Jules and I shot eachother curious looks before following, wiping at our faces. 

Aloud, I asked, "They sell books at a lingerie store?" Probably not the type of books I usually read. 

"No, that was a lie. I needed your advice." Angela stared at the ground but hurried ahead.  

"I'm not really the fashion expert, Ang--"

"I'm going to have sex with Ben on Valentine's Day weekend," Angela blurted out. 

My brows raised. Jules made a commitment to being a silent observer. 

"My parents are going out of town and my brothers are going to stay with friends. And it's going to be our first time together, and you're the only other person in our group who I feel comfortable talking about this stuff with. And you're probably more experienced than me. And... I needed advice." 

We stopped outside of the store, pink and black with scantily clad mannequins on display. 

"I really hate to tell you this, Ang, but I'm not experienced. At all." 

Her face fell. "You and Edward didn't...?"

I shook my head. "No. He was... old-fashioned." 

"How old-fashioned?" 

I jumped clear out of my skin. Jessica was behind us, hand on her hip. 

"Jesus, Jess. We're having a private conversation here," Angela hissed. 

"You could have asked me. I've had sex." Jessica sounded hurt. 

"You gossip too much," Angela sighed. "Come on, too late now." 

The four of us went in. 

"So, are you wanting advice on what to wear?" Jessica asked. She held up what appeared to be a bra made entirely of lace. "Cause this is cute."

Angela was turning an impossible shade of red. She turned to me and cleared her throat. "So, how old-fashioned was he?"

And now it was my turn to blush. "Very." 

"Let's talk baseball here," Jessica ordered. "What base?" 

Jules coughed and tried to look busy browsing nearby. 

This was becoming painful. 

"I'm not really a sports fan, Jess," I started. 

"Okay, are we talking waist-up or..." She asked. 

Angela held up what appeared to be a one-piece bikini made out of fishnet. She looked ill and overwhelmed. 

"You should wear something you feel comfortable in," Jules advised softly. "You'll have a lot more fun if you're wearing something you enjoy seeing yourself in. And if he's a decent guy, he'll be happy just to be with you."

Angela smiled softly. "Thanks, Julie. That actually helps a lot." She put down the fishnet and turned to the regular bras and panties. 

"Closed-mouth kisses only," I said with a sigh.

Jessica dropped whatever strange garment she held. "You guys dated for like six months. Seriously?" 

"Yeah. Seriously." He would turn me into a vampire if his spit touched me, not to mention his teeth. My entire mortality relied on his self-restraint. "He was pretty intense about it." 

"No wonder you're so wound up, girl," Jessica said with a grimace. "Do they sell vibrators here?" 

A sales lady decided to choose that exact moment to wander over to us. She saw an easy target in a very awkward Julie. 

"Hi, love. What size are you?" She asked. 

Jules stammered, "Oh, um-- I don't-- actually--" 

"Let's get you fitted and see what you are then." 

Jules was guided away, shooting me a look of despair. I waved goodbye. She mouthed the word 'traitor'.

I smiled and looked at the clothes. Several of them were cute. Several made me deeply uncomfortable. I perused leisurely and tried not to seem like a prude.

Angela found cute sleep sets, normal pajamas. "We could all match."

I smiled and held up a deep blue lace bra, frowning to myself. It was pretty, but I'd look ridiculous in it. 

"Find something you like?" 

I jumped, dropping the bra. 

Jules grinned at me. "That's what you get for abandoning me. Did you know the bras here are like sixty bucks a piece?" 

"Did you finally find out you're size?" I asked in return

"36D, the sales lady said I'm probably not done growing yet," she groaned. "Some of these bras are cute though. Like that one." 

She gestured to the one I'd picked up again. 

I eyed the lacey cups of the bra, trying to ignore the heat rising into my cheeks. "I don't have anyone to wear it for," I admitted weakly. 

Jules raised a brow and looked behind me suddenly, her voice a franctic whisper. "Okay, don't make it obvious, but I found someone you could wear it for. Six o'clock, turn slowly." 

I did as told, meeting a pair of chocolate brown eyes from a short distance away. The face smiled shyly back at me, exasperated and meeting the eyes of the tall model behind her. I eyed myself in the mirror, rolling my eyes at Julie's smug expression.

She bent to whisper in my ear. "Wear it for yourself, hun." 

"I'll buy one if you'll buy one," I countered.

"You think I can afford to spend sixty bucks on a bra I'm probably going to outgrow?" She scoffed. 

I jerked my chin to a corner of the store. "Clearance, check it. If not, I'll buy you something."

Jules rolled her eyes and wandered away, but not before taking a peek at the bra size in my hands, "34B. Respectful." 

I scoffed and turned my attention back to the debate in my head.

I heard the familiar calls of my male lunch group and sighed. They saw us inside the store and grinned before walking away, clapping Ben on the back. 

"I hate this school," Angela sighed. She held a lavender bralette in her hands. "I'm so moving away the second I graduate." 

Lauren stepped inside of the store, demanding Jessica's attention again.

"Amen to that!" Julie called out. "My sisters chose Hawaii!"

I ended up buying three bras; the lacy dark blue one, a cute maroon one, and a dark green bralette. And then matching underwear and a handful of extras. 

Angela had a handful of things that she refused to let anyone see, sneaking to the register. Jessica got several matching sets that she seemed rather proud of. I didn't pay attention to what Lauren purchased. 

Even Jules lucked out; she found a few sets for ten bucks. 

We tried several clothing stores in the mall, but Jules grimaced at even the clearance prices. I promised her that we could do a thrift day on Tuesday. 

The next stop was a store I wasn't familiar with called Spencer's. It wasn't my type of store, I quickly discovered. Jessica quickly walked to the back of the store with a stride of determination. The boys were looking at graphic t-shirts while cackling to eachother. Angela hung by Jules and I, frowning slightly. She gave Ben an encouraging smile when he came to check on her. 

"Let's go to the store across the hall; less hard-core, more sad goth kid," Jules suggested. 

Angela and I followed her to the store in question, Hot Topic. Ben and Eric followed shortly after, excited about the anime references. Angela was looking at band tees. I browsed with Jules, looking at the sweaters and sweatshirts, before slowly cycling to the jewelry section.

"Hey, look, it's us," Julie said thoughtfully.

I looked at what she was gesturing to. It was a pair of necklaces. I recognized the art work of Van Gogh. One necklace had a pendant of a sun, the center being the painting of Sunflowers. The other was a crescent moon, with the center being Starry Night. 

I smiled. "Am I the moon?" 

"Mmhmm. That's what you remind me of. The stars, the blue, the quiet of night." 

"You remind me of the sun. Like you're surrounded by this yellow happiness, you lighten up everything around you. The warmth." 

Jules smiled at me and grabbed the necklaces. She shortly after found a pair of matching bracelets and took them to the register. 

She handed me the moon bracelet, but gave me the sun necklace. I looked at her curiously. 

"Keeps me close to your heart," she said with a wink. 

I grinned and put the jewelry on, Jules following suit. 

We ate at the mall food court for lunch. Eric, the only guy as tall as Julie, was the only boy brave enough to try to talk to her but to no avail. She didn't outright ignore him, but gaining her favor quickly proved to not be an easy task. She was polite. Lauren seemed to outright hate her simply for being my friend. 

Jules did seem to take to Angela though. The pair caught on like a house on fire. I tried to be happy that Jules was making a new friend, especially after the weirdness with Embry, but seeing them so cozy left a weird feeling in my stomach. 

I was just worried my new best friend would move on, surely. Julie's attention always seemed to return to me though. That part left me feeling better. 

The stop after food was Bath and Body Works. Jessica was apparently a lotion connoisseur, says that was why she always smelled so good and why her skin was flawless. She had a smell for every season. 

I browsed the scents, sniffing but not interested in buying, when Jules came up to me with a grin. 

"Here, this one smells like you."

I eyed the little pink container labeled Strawberry Fields and gave it a small stiff. I smiled and looked at the scent notes on the back. 

Strawberries, sunshine, sugar. Two of those weren't even scents. 

"Let me see if I can find one that smells like you," I volunteered. 

I searched, sniffing endlessly. Angela had fallen into sheer adoration with one called Love Spell and was getting a whole set of it. 

I finally found one almost perfect. Into the Woods. Notes of pine, petrichor, and musk. The bottle was a sickly green color, like poison in a cartoon. I tracked Jules down as she was grimacing at a white lotion container. 

"Here, this one is you," I said as I gave her the bottle. 

"Well, this is what that perfume you used to wear was close to. But imagine, like, sickly sweet. And ice, like drinking water after chewing mint gum. That feeling but as a smell." Jules grimaced again before smiling at her little pine-scented lotion. "This one is good though. I smell nice." 

I looked at the one she'd hated. Fresh Fallen Snow. Notes of sugared snow, fresh balsam, and cool peppermint. I took a tentative scent and felt my heart rip out of my chest. 

The world spun off of its axis for a second, the walls closing in on me. I felt hot and cold and nauseous and everything was horrible and nothing would ever be okay again. 

The Cullens. This stupid little bottle of lotion smelled like the Cullens. Not as potent, but the scent-maker had certainly met a vampire for their inspiration. 

"Bells, you okay? I didn't mean to offend. It doesn't smell that bad," Jules offered. I felt her hand on my shoulder. She bent to view me easier. 

I could fear tears pricking in the corner of my eyes. My gaze met hers. Her eyes were so wide and concerned and caring. I focused on them. 

"Bella." 

I let out the breath I'd been holding. I nodded slowly and robotically breathed in and out. 

"I'm okay. I'm okay." 

She didn't look convinced. She carefully took the bottle out of my hand, brushing her thumb across my knuckles in a soothing gesture. 

"You wanna talk about it?" 

How could I begin to explain? 

I slowly shook my head. "It's nothing, promise. I don't like that smell either. Almost made me sick." 

She gave me a feigned smile and put the lotion back on the shelf. "C'mon, Ang and Jess are getting ready to check out." 

I noticed Jules actually had a few items for herself, though I couldn't see what. 

There was a moment where I could have grabbed it. Fresh Fallen Snow. I could have bought it and wore it every night, locked in my nightmares and shivering in my sleep. I could take cold showers again and barely eat and stop talking to my friends. I could back-slide and remove any semblance of a life I'd gained back. 

I walked across the store and put Into the Woods into my bag before following Jules to the check-out. 

As we left the store, Jules pointed her jaw to the one just across the hall. "Still need an adrenaline rush?"

I looked at the Claire's in front of us, boasting about free piercings if you buy jewelry. 

"My ears aren't pierced," I pointed out excitedly. "Want to get them with me?" 

Jules tucked her hair behind her ear, revealing three sets of lower lobe piercings and  a cartilage piercing. My jaw dropped. She always wore her hair down, but how had I not noticed? 

The lady with the piercing gun seemed surprised that this was my first set of earrings. She explained the process to me politely and gave me a piece of paper with instructions. After I signed some paperwork, she lined the gun up to my ear and gave me a single hole in each lower lobe. Jules held my hand the entire time. 

"Soak them in saline solution every day," Jules advised as we left the mall.

I waved my group goodbye and we loaded our things into the space behind our seats. 

"Do I look different?" I asked as I struck a pose in the driver's seat. 

"Yes, you're an entirely different person. I hardly recognize you. You can start going by Marie or something," Jules said in a flat tone. Excitedly, she added, "Can I see the pictures from the photo booth?" 

I pulled them out of my bag and we looked over them. There were three sets per reel, so we each took one and argued about the custody of the last ones. 

The first reel was the one where we kissed each other's cheeks. Jules demanded she get the second copy of that one and I conceded. 

The second reel had us making silly faces, and then promptly laughing at the other. I won custody of that extra set.

The third one was mostly us laughing and grinning at eachother. She barely let me have that one, but only because she wanted the fourth set more. 

The fourth and final one was of us just smiling. One picture had my head on her shoulder, the two of us looking into the camera. Whether it was the filter or just a really good picture of us, we both looked good. 

We divided the spoils and I put my two spares in the hole where my radio used to me. Where there was once a giant, jagged crevice, now there were tiny pictures of me and Jules smiling. Nestled safely.