Chapter 31
Chapter 31: Chocolate Hallways
December 5, 1993
As winter break drew nearer, the weather became colder than ever, and the snow was thicker than ever.
So naturally, the kids found playing in the snow the best pastime they could.
James walked into Remus's office and plopped down in the chair in front of him.
"Hey, James," Remus greeted him. "What's up?"
"I was bored at home, 'cause I'd finished all my Auror work. The mission was postponed till tomorrow, so I'm good. And all my other friends back home were busy. And so I decided to come and see you."
"Suit yourself," Remus replied. James got up and looked out the window, and he turned back to Remus.
"Did you know they're having a snowball fight out there?"
He raised an eyebrow. "You are not about to go to a snowball fight."
James frowned. "Why not?"
"Because there's a man by the name of Sirius Black looking to take us all down, that's why."
"Are you suggesting I couldn't take him on?" James scoffed.
"I'm looking out for you," Remus corrected, rolling his eyes. "And plus, the kids don't even know you."
"Everybody knows me. Harry and Liana know me."
"They're out there too?"
"Yep." James shrugged. "I think throwing snowballs at people is pretty harmless, don't you?"
"Okay, fine," relented Remus. "Have fun, but if you see anything suspicious…"
"I'll kill that person with my wand and he wouldn't even have time to say 'Marauder'," James finished for him. "I'm good that way. I'm an Auror-Marauder."
"Nice rhyme."
"It sounds cool," agreed James. "I'm an Auror-Marauder. You're a Professor-Marauder. Doesn't have the same ring to it."
"Tragedy," muttered Remus sarcastically. "Go out to the fight. Have fun."
James waved goodbye and traipsed out to the Grounds. The students were all staring at him, and one asked, "Who the heck are you?"
Well, wasn't he rude. "I'm the Giant Squid."
"You can't be!" a boy shouted. "That's an animal."
"I'm an Animagus," James said. "Ah, it's so wet down there." He pointed to the lake, which had frozen over, and then tutted. He pretended to wring his shirt out.
Gasps.
"You can't be!" the same boy shouted. "That's illegal."
He waggled his eyebrows. "You gonna turn me in?"
"Yes," a girl said stoutly, taking a step forward.
Oh, Merlin, they were actually going to.
"Just joking," he said, holding up his hands. "I'm a legal Animagus, registered and all."
He saw Harry in the back of the crowd, laughing. Hermione and Ron had also both seen him, and Ron was grinning. Hermione's eyes were narrowed. Liana looked like she wanted to bury herself in the snow. James grinned.
"Oh, okay. Makes sense."
"So you're-" a boy who he recognized as Carlos said, "- the Giant Squid? The one I touched?"
"Yep. The very one. Wonder why you were trying to touch me, though."
"Can't tell you, sorry," Carlos apologized.
Dang it.
"It's all cool." He held up his arms. "Why are we standing and talking? Where's all the action? Who wants to play with some snow?"
They all did.
Naturally.
Liana put a hand to her forehead. "That was mortifying."
Kylie's eyes widened. "That was… your dad?"
"I wish he wasn't."
"But that's hilarious!" cried Candice. "He's funny."
"That? Funny? That was so lame. I swear, he'll be the end of me one day."
"Be glad you've got fun parents," Kylie said. "You've heard of all these abusive parents and everything, right? Parents who hate their kids?"
"Yeah, yeah," murmured Liana, rolling her eyes. "That would be better, honestly."
Something slammed behind them. As the three of them turned around, however, they saw nothing but a streak of hair leaving the Common Room.
"Not funny, James," Lily told him.
He didn't look up from the magazine he was reading. His feet were extended onto the next chair, and he was leaning back and reading Quidditch Filler.
"What's not funny?" He feigned ignorance. "Gorgovitch dropping the Quaffle in yesterday's match is funny. He literally intercepted it, and then he dropped it, it fumbled from his fingers and they lost at a 50 point lead, Lily, a 50 point-"
"Shut up," Lily interrupted. He was not fooling her. "You know very well I'm talking about the snowball fight."
"I had fun, but it doesn't sound like you care," muttered James, his eyes still trained on the magazine.
Lily sighed. "James, seriously. I care for you. I'm not trying to be the rule-following girl, I love you. I'm trying to make sure you're safe."
He finally looked up, and he grabbed her by the waist, scooping her into his lap. He tossed aside the magazine and ran his hand down her hair, and then trailed his finger down her back. "I know," he whispered.
She shivered. "What did you tell people when they asked who you were?"
He pressed his lips against the back of her head firmly. Strongly. "The Giant Squid."
"Excuse me?"
"Yep. Animagus."
She smacked her forehead. "You are seriously crazy. I swear. Here I was, with a Professor, talking about grades and everything, and then you're off in the snow, pretending you're the Giant Squid, putting your identity and all at stake, and then exposing yourself, and I-"
He whirled her around and hovered his lips barely a whisper over hers, effectively shutting her up. "I did, I'm not ashamed of it."
She took a deep breath, steadying herself. "Don't expect for me to care for you, then. You can take care of yourself. You can't have it both ways."
He wrapped his arms around her, burying his head in her shoulder, inhaling her sweet scent. "I really couldn't care less. I only want you. If you come like this, well… I'll take you."
He could practically feel the blood rush into her cheeks. He squeezed her tighter, wanting Lily, Lily, Lily, and… well, Lily. He let one arm tangle in her hair, but the other was still wrapped around her protectively.
"Then you have to stop exposing yourself," she said, but the fierceness wasn't quite making its way through her voice.
"Do you not trust me?" he asked gently.
"I… I… It's not about… I don't… I do trust you, James, but-"
"Then let me do what I want," he whispered, leaning even closer to her. "And that includes this."
Neville took a deep breath.
He was going to get even more detentions for this, but the kids would start honoring him for this. Maybe he'd get respect, liking. If he did this.
But Snape! His worst fear ever! Why couldn't it be Lupin or someone he had to ask out? They were bound to be much more coping with something like this. They'd understand that it was a prank. But Snape… maybe he'd put a potion on Neville's head or something.
And if Neville brewed it, it was bound to be worse.
But he did it. He raised a trembling hand.
"What is it, Longbottom, did you forget to add the honeysuckle?"
"No, I have something to tell you."
Snape waited.
Neville took another breath, and he started.
"Snape, oh, Snape, oh what can I do?
I can't help but lo-o-ove you.
Your black eyes so fair, so deep.
Your personality so far from cheap.
With a voice so empowering,
I swear, it's devouring.
Your eyes glitter just like the moon.
Stars and suns just can't compete.
Snape, oh, Snape, oh what can I do?
I can't help but lo-o-ove you."
There was a silence. Snape's eyes flashed murderously.
"From, Neville."
Dumbledore burst out laughing.
"This happened, Severus?"
"It did," he snapped. "You can ask Longbottom." He spit out the word.
Neville whimpered. "Yes, I did."
"Why?" Dumbledore asked, trying to contain his laughter. "You have to respect teachers here."
"But… But I truly think his eyes are devouring!"
"You said the voice was devouring," corrected Snape murderously.
"Aw, you memorized the love letter," Dumbledore sighed dreamily. "How sweet."
"Professor, this is no joke!"
"I think it is."
He huffed impatiently. "You know what I mean!"
"Why do you not give him detention if you're so angry, Severus?"
"I did. He is in detention until the end of the school year."
"Come on, Severus, be reasonable."
"I have the right to put whoever I want in detention for however long I want!" Severus spat.
"Yes, you do. Then why come see me?"
"Expel him. Suspend him. Something, Dumbledore you can't-"
"Not as far as expulsion," Dumbledore disagreed.
"Farther!" cried Snape. "Wipe him off the face of the planet."
"No, no, Severus, you are in a mood. Twenty years later, you will look back on this and laugh at the memory."
"I beg to disagree."
"I know it will happen," Dumbledore sighed. "You will find this funny. Mark my words."
"Sure," agreed Severus sarcastically. "You give me a notebook, and I'll write it down."
"Ah, yes, I have one somewhere around here…" Dumbledore swivelled around in his chair, reaching into his cupboard. "I know I've got one…"
"I was joking!" Severus snapped.
"Yes, but it is a good idea. Hmmm… it was purple with yellow stripes…"
"No, Dumbledore, it is not. I insist something is to be done about Longbottom, because this… this… this is not done, Dumbledore, it can't work like this. I was a laughingstock in my own classroom, and…"
"I might have to use the green one with red smiley faces if I can't find that… oh, here we go. Pink sparkle glitter. You can keep this one, Severus, I don't need it. I'd like to keep the purple with yellow, though, once I find it… or the green one with smiley faces?"
"Neither!" yelled Severus. "You keep them all!"
And while they were arguing, neither of them noticed Neville Longbottom slipping out of the room.
"Come on, guys, do we have the chocolate?" Percy asked.
"Yes," chorused The Uncles.
"Just smear it all over the hallway, nothing too difficult," Roger Davies said.
Ginny walked over to Harry, who walked over to Cho. Harry accidentally bumped into Cho, so Ginny bumped into him.
"Ouch!" cried Cho.
"Ouch!" cried Harry.
"Why are you complaining?" Cho asked, rubbing her arm. She was wearing a silky blue sweater and faded grey jeans.
"Sorry," Harry apologized. He turned around. "Ginny!"
Her eyes widened, blushing. "I'm sorry? You stopped… ah!" She covered her face in her hands and ran away to Percy.
Percy raised an eyebrow. "You okay, there, Ginny?"
"Er, yeah."
"Then smear chocolate already!"
Ginny dipped her hand in the large pot of chocolate and started rubbing her hand against the floor. It vanished in seconds. "It's so little," she complained.
"This is why you need big hands," Percy said wisely, waving his hand in the air. "You see? Mine is much larger than yours."
"You only use yours to give out detentions," grumbled Ginny, dipping her fingers in the chocolate. "Mm… it's so good…"
"Don't eat it!" cried Percy.
"Oops." She grinned guiltily.
Cho ran a hand through her hair. "This is going to take a long time."
"Might as well try," mumbled Harry.
They walked over to the pot and started rubbing their hands all over the floor. And of course, Ginny tried not to eat it.
But who can resist chocolate?
"Yes, Pomona, and you should grade a little stricter, Merlin knows how- Merlin!" McGonagall stopped, realizing that her shoes were now stuck in chocolate. "Who put chocolate all over the hallways?"
Pomona Sprout raised an eyebrow.
"Bad question," she muttered darkly. "This is another prank, isn't it."
"I'm afraid so." Sprout grimaced.
"But now I can't get out," McGonagall complained, trying to yank her leg out of the chocolate. "It's so… so… so… sticky!"
Pomona frowned disapprovingly. "What has gotten into the kids these days?"
"I don't know, I don't care! Get me out of this chocolate! I will be late to class!"
"Er… Evanesco." The chocolate didn't disappear. "They've put charms against this?!"
"I DON'T CARE!" hollered McGonagall.
"I will go get Albus, he must know what to do," Sprout said.
"Hurry up!" wailed McGonagall. "I am stuck in chocolate."
"Left hand out, hm, right hand in, shake… shake… wave those arms and catch up front, sway… side to side… or no, you wave left to right. Or is it right to left?" Dumbledore sighed, walking over to his I-phone and rewinding it.
"Professor Dumbledore!" cried a voice.
Dumbledore jerked up, stuffing the phone in his drawer. Curse it, who had come here? It was his free time, there was no staff meeting, no meeting with Severus, nothing with Harry, nothing about Black had happened lately, so what…
"Come."
Sprout entered the door. "Professor-you-must-help-Minerva-is-stuck-"
"Hold up, Pomona. Start again?"
"Professor, you must help! Minerva is stuck in chocolate, and-"
"Chocolate?" Yum…
"Yes, it's smeared all over the hallway."
Dumbledore sighed, his mind on the Tik-Tok video. "Now, are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Just Vanish it."
"I tried, but the pranksters have put up some charm against that."
"Have they really?" mused Dumbledore. "I'm sure you could remove it in a jiffy, though, are you saying some students have outsmarted you?"
"No! That's why we need your help!"
Dumbledore sighed again. People always came right when he was trying to learn to dance. "Let's go."
"I am in a very bad mood today, I am warning you," McGonagall told the class at Transfiguration, her nostrils flaring. "I don't want any pranks or shmanks or anything like that today. I've already been stuck in a hallway of chocolate, and I'm not in the mood for anything else, do you understand that?"
Stifled giggles.
"Do you understand?" she repeated.
"Yes," chorused the class brightly.
"Goo-"
"A hallway of chocolate?" Candice asked. Sia turned to look at her, since Candice sat two rows behind her and on the very right, whereas Sia sat on the very left.
"Yes. Some stupid prank."
"Yum," Kylie muttered.
"All right. I don't want any pranks today, or else."
"I'll take else," whispered a boy up front. The class collapsed in silent giggles.
"Today we're going to start the theory of turning mice into snuffboxes," McGonagall announced, picking up chalk and scribbling furiously on the board. "It shouldn't have whiskers, you know that. Okay, so here we are. The force… x… is how much… then a flick… with visualization… history of it is coming up, so it was started back in the 1400s, one of the oldest spells, when Bartholomew the Great-"
Sia pulled out her wand while McGonagall was writing down the lesson's overview. "Colovaria," she whispered. McGonagall's robes immediately shone a bright pink, but she didn't notice. Sia smirked and stowed her wand away in her backpack.
"-needed… to… change. Okay, so the theory is what we'll start with first. Hold your wand like this, because inside the wand is just a… PINK?!"
The class would never get used to the moment of shock when the teachers realized the prank.
"Who did it?" she demanded. "Confess!"
No one said anything.
"I will put you all in detention if no one responds!"
No answer.
"Detention for all of you!"
"Sure," said a student.
"Okay!" said another.
"Sounds fun," agreed another.
"Can't wait," chorused another.
"SHUT UP!" roared McGonagall.
A moment of silence.
"Professor, can you make your hair pink too?"