Flitwick Blows a Fuse
Chapter 29: Flitwick Blows a Fuse
November 30, 1993
Harry was about to get The Uncles a point.
He filed into Charms, gingerly taking a seat. He normally didn't pay attention or volunteer answers in Charms, but today he was.
"So we've been talking about the freezing charm. I'll go over the basics again. It's a charm that lets out icy cold air and freezes whatever you're pointing it at. We've practiced it a little, so we can freeze objects," Flitwick was prattling in his high-pitch voice. "But not people just yet. Who wants to demonstrate? Ah, Mr. Potter."
"Yep, Filio, here we-"
"Filio?"
"Your first name is Filius," Harry answered nonchalantly. "So I'm just going to call you Filio."
"I am a Professor!" he squeaked indignantly.
"I know that, Filio."
"Don't call me Filio!"
"If you say so, Filio." The class burst out in laughter and Harry pointed his wand at the wooden box. "Glacius," he said. The box froze.
"Good job."
"Thank you, Filio!"
"Do not call me that or I will give you detention!"
"Sure, Filio. But I think I'll talk to you quite a lot in detention…"
He flushed pink. "Ms. Brown," he said, turning away from Harry and to Lavender. "Would you like to demonstrate the hand movement?"
Lavender demonstrated it properly.
"Well done. Now, who would like to explain to me some unfortunate side effects of this and how to avoid it?" Harry was the only one who raised his hand. "Anybody?"
"Me, Filio," Harry said, waving his hand in the air.
"Anyone else?"
"Why not me?"
"You had your turn!"
"But nobody else is raising their hand!"
Flitwick cast a pleading look at the rest of the class. "Anybody?"
They all smirked, clearly doing this on purpose.
"Mr. Potter, go on."
"Sure, Filio, so the charm has this unfortunate side-effect of making the breath of anyone nearby turn into thick white mist. Like that cold mist, you know, Filio? Has it happened to you before, Filio? Like when you blow out in the snow, or in the cold, your breath will turn foggy and thick white? It's because of the extreme cold temperature. Are you following, Filio? Yeah, so an object can be enchanted with this because it can become a curse. So Filio, if someone touches an object, it'll attack a person with extreme cold. You could get frostbite. Have you gotten frostbite, Filio?"
"Call me Professor Flitwick!" squeaked Flitwick.
"Okay, Filio," said Harry, leaning back in his chair.
This was going to be fun.
Pansy ran a brush down her hair. There was a tangle on the right side of her hair, and she was having trouble unknotting it.
"What's the occasion?" Kelly, her friend, asked.
"I'm trying to charm Draco!"
She smirked. "Cute."
"Do you know where he is?"
"Yeah, he's leaning against a couch and writing a letter to somebody."
"Okay, thanks!" Pansy stood up, rubbing down her frilly red dress. "Do I look good?"
Kelly reached forward and flicked a spot of chunky powder off her face. "Like a goddess."
"Be critical."
"You look really pretty. If he doesn't swoon over you in secret, my name isn't Kelly. And trust me, I love my name."
"Who would?" Pansy muttered, low enough so that she wouldn't hear. "Okay, thanks." She left the room, exiting the Girls' Dormitory and quickly ran down to where Draco was writing a letter, just as Kelly had said.
"Hey," he said, acknowledging her.
"Hi Draco," she said, a little too excitedly. She cleared her throat, calming her nerves. "Hi, Draco. Who's the letter for?"
"My mom. She's ill."
"I'm sorry," Pansy said. "What illness?"
"The flu."
"I hope she feels better."
"Thanks," mumbled Draco. "It's tough on Dad too, because he has to go into the Ministry and everything. He can't afford to take a day off, but Mom is sick…"
"I totally get it," Pansy assured him, tucking a strand of her hair behind her hair. "Can he not work from home, though?"
"No, it'll mark his reputation."
"Sucks."
He grimaced. "Yeah, well."
"Is it really bad? The illness?"
"Yep." He closed his eyes. "It's getting worse, actually. She's been coughing like no other."
"I really hope she gets better," Pansy cooed, putting a thick layer of sugary sweetness into her voice.
He stood up. "I'd better go mail this to the Owlery."
"Oh, yeah, yep. Have fun."
"You too."
Neville was happily strutting down the hallway, completely unexpecting of what was to come.
He turned a corner to get to Transfiguration, and then something warm was poured on his head, and his head started swelling. So did the rest of him. He watched in horror as his fingers grew plump… well, plumper than they already were.
"What the-" he cried, and saw Harry's little sister standing there, laughing.
"Oh, that was funnier than I thought it would be!" she cackled.
"Why did you do that?" he moaned, trying to wipe off the potion.
"Don't worry, it'll come off in about… two days?"
"Two days?" repeated Neville in horror.
"Yep." She shook back her curly red hair. "Have fu-u-un showing your new look to all your classes. Ha, and we thought you were on a diet… oh, this is the best thing all week!"
Neville cursed as Liana pranced away, humming loudly.
He was going to be the laughingstock of the castle.
Again.
Lily stomped over to her private quarters where she knew James would be. She unlatched the door and threw herself inside, slipping over her shoe. James hurdled over to her and caught her by the arms.
"Woah, Lily, you all right?"
"We have to talk."
Something flashed in his eyes, and Lily knew what this reminded him of. Again, a pang of guilt flooded through her. "No, James, it's not like that. It's not about you."
He relaxed, stroking her hair. "That's a relief. What's the problem?"
"I just got word from Filius that Harry has been calling him 'Filio' all day in class today. The class was all laughing, too. Harry was smirking about it and everything too. He didn't stop, and he talked more than usual just to call him Filio. When he asked Harry not to, he just said 'Sure, Filio,' and didn't stop," she fumed. "I know this is happening with the other kids, but Harry? I can't allow this."
James grinned. "You have to admit, that's kind of funny."
"Not you too!"
"Sorry."
"And then I heard that Liana dumped Swelling Solution on Neville," Lily went on. "Not from Neville, though, from Professor Sprout. He came into Herbology all…"
"Big?" supplied James, the corner of his mouth twitching.
Lily tried not to laugh. "Yes, fine. Big. He came into Herbology all big, and the kids seemed to think it was expected. They said something like, 'Had to be you, didn't it?' or 'Out of everyone!' or 'Merlin, it happened to you!'"
"What does that mean? It was random?"
Lily then realized she was still in James's arms. "Er…" Lily tried not to get distracted, "I guess so. But either way, we need to talk to Harry and Liana."
"Let's go for it."
Ten minutes later, Harry and Liana were in Lily's office, and so was James.
"What?" Liana asked irritably. "I'm going to be late for class."
"Explain yourselves," snapped Lily, crossing her arms over her chest.
"What did we do?" Harry asked.
"Filio? Really?"
Harry burst out laughing. "Oh come on, you don't find that funny? It was hilarious. Only Professor Flitwick doesn't have a sense of humor. Dad…"
"Hey, I found it funny," James defended, holding up his hands. "Your mother, however…"
"Don't you dare put this all on me," Lily warned. James grinned, pressing a kiss to her hair.
"But I do think it's funny."
"Mm." Lily turned back to Harry and Liana. "What's happening? Are you kids going through some sort of rebellious stage?"
"Naw, we just find it funny." Harry grinned up at his mom. "It's not dangerous or anything. I'm not sneaking out to go do something horrible. It's just a joke, a prank, we all need some fun in this place, mom."
Lily rolled her eyes. "That's a horrible excuse."
"It's the honest one."
"Liana? Why did you dump a Swelling Solution on Neville's head?"
"It was so big, it didn't really make a difference," muttered Liana.
"Even though I'm your mother, I'm still a teacher. Be respectful about other students or I have no problem in sending you to detention."
"Scary woman there," James teased, flicking his finger against her cheek. "I don't know what I would've done if you were my teacher."
"You would have gotten a hundred detentions. And none of them would've affected you."
"Point." James ruffled her hair fondly.
"Stop ruining my hair, I have to teach a class," she ordered, turning to Harry and Liana. "Liana, keep going. Why?"
"He left out the passwords and Black got into the castle. Naturally I was bound to retaliate."
"He has plenty of trouble," James pointed out. "Hogsmeade bans and what-not."
"I don't know, I don't care," sighed Liana. "They all thought it was funny."
"But what is happening? Other kids are doing stuff like this too, and I really need to figure out what's happening."
"Oh, are they?" Harry asked… a little too casually. "What a coincidence."
"I know," mused Liana. "Funny, wouldn't you say?"
"Totally."
And as the bell rang, Harry and Liana walked out of the room without another word.
"Good night!" Valentina chorused loudly, winking at Sia. Sia's lips twitched, but she didn't say anything back.
"You don't need to announce it," snapped Liana, covering her ears. "Just sleep already."
Valentina rolled her eyes and yanked on a simple red dress and black tights.
"Are you sleeping in that?" Kylie asked obnoxiously.
"Shut the heck up. What I sleep in has no concern for you."
"I get it," murmured Candice. "You're going to do a prank."
"Well spotted," Valentina said acidly, and she left the room.
"Is everyone here?" Svetlana, a random person, asked, running a hand through her dirty-blonde hair.
"Yep," chorused Cedric, Hermione, Dean, Draco, Neville, Hannah, Goyle, Aliya, Jonathan, Irwin, and Mei.
"We're missing somebody…"
"Sorry I'm late!" called Valentina, the blonde first-year, running up to them.
"It's cool," Cedric assured her, his hands in his jean pockets.
The Notorious Watermelons were all meeting up outside the Great Hall. They were about to go into McGonagall's room - her private quarters - and decorate it. In smiley faces.
"Should we go, then?" Mei asked.
"Yep. Let's go," Aliya said. They all marched over to where McGonagall's private quarters were. "Wands out?"
Svetlana nodded, flipping her hair behind her shoulder. She turned to Irwin, her friend. "Ready for this one, huh?"
"It's going to be so fun," he responded, grinning. "Just imagine. Professor McGonagall wakes up, and there are smiley faces smiling at her from every corner of the room."
"The smiling faces are enchanted to move," Draco, a third-year, said, sneaking up on them from the back. "They'll blink and everything."
"That'll creep her out," agreed Svetlana. Draco was a year younger than her, but he was still pretty tall.
"Shush!" hissed somebody, probably Hermione. "We're going inside now. Shut up, or she'll wake up."
"Yes, sir," muttered Svetlana. Irwin laughed.
They quietly entered the door. The moment they entered, Svetlana had to stifle a giggle. The others didn't quite succeed. But luckily, McGonagall didn't wake up.
"Let's go!" mouthed Cedric, pulling out his wand. They all started pasting moving smiley-faces on the ceiling, wall, and floor, giggles rippling through the room the whole time. After thirty minutes, the entire room and bathroom was decorated in very childish smiley faces.
And other than that, they'd all gained a piece of knowledge.
Who knew that McGonagall snored in her sleep?
Remus was in his room, sipping coffee. Mocha, to be exact. If there was a chocolate version of anything, he'd take it.
Just then, an owl knocked at the window. Remus reached over and flicked open the latch, and the owl dropped a letter onto his table.
"Thanks," Remus told him.
The owl hooted in disdain, leaning back. Remus sighed. He knew that animals didn't like him because he was a werewolf, but it still hurt. He would only hurt them once a month.
He unfurled the letter and read.
Dear Remus,
I was going to visit today, but I'm running an errand with Kingsley. That cancels our plans. I'm so sorry about that. Can we meet up tomorrow or something? I'm really sorry about this, I wanted to come. I really, truly did.
Lots of love,
Tonks
Remus smiled at her repeated apology before scribbling back a response.
Dear Tonks,
Don't worry about it. It's all right. Of course we can meet up tomorrow, it's no rush at all! Don't feel sorry for doing what you have to, it's okay.
Be safe on your errands, and have fun.
Sincerely,
Remus
He reached out to tie it to the owl's leg, but it swerved back reproachfully. Remus sighed.
"How are you supposed to deliver this letter back if I can't tie it to your leg?"
The owl hooted.
"Helpful," he muttered, but the owl didn't protest as he tied it to his legs. "You can go. Thank you."
The owl rolled his eyes and flew off into the night's sky.
Dumbledore sighed.
The teachers had no sense of fun.
Seriously! Why did they not appreciate the fact that some laughter was spreading around the students? That the students were happier than they'd ever been amidst this crazy Sirius Black problem? Did they not see that? Did they not care?
"I need to come in!" squeaked a voice.
It's Flitwick. "Come in."
Flitwick walked inside and took a seat. "Potter!"
"It's Professor Dumbledore to you, Filius."
"Yes, yes." He waved his hand aside impatiently. "Potter called me Filio in class today!"
Dumbledore stifled a laugh. "That sounds quite amusing."
Flitwick fumed and recounted the events.
Dumbledore sighed again. Flitwick needed to look at it logically. On the bright side. If he thought all negative, nothing would get done. "Does Harry normally participate in class?"
"No."
"And he did today."
"To call me Filio!"
"But he still participated," pointed out Dumbledore, "and doesn't that count? Teaching comes first, right?"
"Yes, but…"
"Seriously, Filius, look at it on the bright side!"
"What's bright about him calling me Filio?"
"Do you like the name? Hm-"
"NO!"
"-maybe I could start calling you that… Filio. Interesting name, no? It's got a better ring to it than Filius."
"I like the name my parents gave me!"
"I'm sure. But you've never had a nickname?"
"Not one like Filio!"
"You're blowing this out of proportion," sighed Dumbledore, shaking his head. "You need to let loose."
Flitwick sniffed.
"Is that all?"
"Yes," he replied stiffly, and turned and left the room.
Merlin, these teachers.
Tik-Tok video…
No! He had to check in with Charity Burbage, who'd gotten the flu.
Another sigh. He really had no time for Tik-Tok these days.