Chapter 1
tuesday, march 14
6:46 pm
barty
i have a situation.
barty
guysbvvv
barty
its important
barty
regggggieeee pandoRa
regulus
are you drunk rn???
barty
no i just turrnwd off my auto corrext
regulus
why.
barty
i refuse to let apple conteol how i tupe
regulus
?????
pandora
whats happening???
regulus
barty is conspiracy theorizing again
barty
fuck steve jobd
pandora
thats agressive
regulus
he is dead
barty
ok sorry whatever ill tey to typw right
regulus
maybe try harder.
pandora
😁
barty
ppl i hate:
steve
regulus
pandora
pandora
ok sorry!!!!!!!!!
barty
anyway i have a situation
barty
omg. no typos <3
pandora
omg im so proud!!!
regulus
:/
barty
ok so basically
barty
theres this guy
regulus
oh god no
barty
no support from my Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞
barty
thanks ig
regulus
Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞 ???????!!!!!!?????
barty
LMAO I FORGOT I PUT THAT IN MY TEXT REPLACEMENT FOR Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞
barty
Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞
barty
FUCK
barty
best ie
barty
u know what i mean
regulus
i think you need to never open the settings app on your phone ever again
barty
hmm i think i finally figured out what we can name this chat🫣😏
pandora
guys
pandora
focus
pandora
i wanna hear about bartys new crush!!!!!!!!!!
barty
ok i never said he was my crush
barty
pls where is dorcas she wont make fun of me
regulus
won't she though…
dorcas
????? ok Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞
barty
is that supposed to be mean spirited???? the text sounds passive agressive :(
dorcas
sorry🙄
barty
where were you🙄
dorcas
walking my dog🙄
dorcas
ok but what is wrong im here now
dorcas
who is this man
pandora
^^^^^
barty
ok.
barty
so
barty
i was getting a popsicle
dorcas
it is 44 degrees fahrenheit at the moment according to my amazon alexa barty
pandora
yeah it was pretty chilly today
regulus
definitely march weather
dorcas
totally i was wearing shorts walking rufus and my legs were sort of numb tbh
pandora
omg
pandora
how is rufus
pandora
love that dog
barty
AAAAAAAHHHHH SO I WAS GETTING A POPSICLE
barty
AS YOU DO
barty
YOU KNOW HOW THEY HAVE THOSE AT THAT TINY GROCERY STORE
pandora
duh those cookies and cream ones>>>>>>>>
barty
EXACTLY
barty
ANYWAY
barty
THE GUY WHO CHECKED ME OUT SEEMED REALLY COOL
barty
HE ALSO SEEMED GAY
barty
AND THEN HE WROTE HIS NUMBER ON MY RECEIPT
dorcas
😭😭😭
barty
AND HE GAVE IT TO ME
barty
IVE NEVER BEEN GIVEN ANYONES NUMBER
barty
WHAT DO I DO!??????!!!???
regulus
text him
barty
thanks dummy
pandora
jsay like “hey that was a good popsicle” like thats casual and stuff
barty
i am so sorry but im not using that
dorcas
yeah idk what if he forgot u got a popsicle in the first place
pandora
IDK!!!!!
pandora
hi im barty how are you doing?
regulus
no that feels too dry
dorcas
says u
regulus
🙄
pandora
ok and im not hearing suggestions from any of you guys
pandora
maybe “hey im barty :) i bought a popsicle from you earlier today, i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?”
barty
im going w that
barty
first text will be awkward no matter what
pandora
ur welcome!!!!😁
dorcas
poor guy
dorcas
just trying to get through his shift
dorcas
and there YOU are
dorcas
ok
dorcas
that came out way meaner than i meant it
dorcas
it was supposed to be a joke
regulus
awkward😁😁
barty
great joke😁😁😁
barty
dont have a guilt complex spiral😁😁😁
dorcas
😁😁😁
barty
anyway i just texted him im freaking out
pandora
omg im excited pls keep us updated
Tuesday, March 14
7:14 pm
grocery store guy
barty
“hey im barty :) i met you at the store earlier today, i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?
Tuesday, March 14
7:17
Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞 s
barty
OH SHIT OH SHIT
pandora
WHAT????
barty
screenshot
barty
I LEFT ONE OF THE QUOTES IN
pandora
first of all
pandora
plagiarism
pandora
second thats a bit rough
barty
YEAH I KNOW
dorcas
dont worry about it
dorcas
and then if things go well in a couple of days u can be like…
dorcas
hey remember that first text i sent u🫢🫢🫢 funny story
barty
TRUE BUT THAT DOESNT HELP ME IN THE MOMENT
barty
HES GONNA JUDGE ME SO HARD
barty
I CANT EVEN DO A * TO CORRECT IT. LIKE THAT WOULD LOOK EVEN WEIRDER
regulus
dont acknowledge it!!!
dorcas
^^^
barty
😔😔😔😞😞😔😔😞😞
Tuesday, March 14
7:21 pm
unknown number
unknown number
“hey im barty :) i met you at the store earlier today, i was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?
evan
hey!!! id totally be up for that!!!
evan
im evan btw
evan
do you like coffee?
unknown number
yes! when are you free?
evan
maybe this weekend?
unknown number
sure!
unknown number
it was nice meeting you today btw :)
evan
was the popsicle good?
evan
cookies and cream is my favorite
unknown number
MINE TOO!!!
evan
i figured!
unknown
i also like those lemon lime ones
evan
so true
Tuesday, March 14
7:28 pm
Bestie 🥰👯♀️💕🤞 s
barty
screenshot
barty
does this feel as awkward as i do
pandora
nah ur fine
pandora
except i have never seen you use multiple smiley faces in one convo
dorcas
THATS WHAT I NOTICED TOO
dorcas
CUSTOMER SERVICE VOICE
pandora
changing urself so a boy will like you
regulus
shaking my head rn
barty
tbh u guys arent really helping :)