Confessions
You don't meet Sans for lunch the next day.
Or the next three days after that. In fact, you only see him in passing a few times, usually on your way to or from work.
It's not that you don't want to see him. In fact, it almost physically hurts to go without seeing him for so long. With the festival only a few days away, the station is overrun with activity and your usual lunch hour gets bumped up to much later in the day. The station is a storm of activity and you barely have a moment to breathe in your increasingly long workdays. There are quite a few times when you get sent out with the traffic van or sent with electrical crews for repairs and supplies simply to add another pair of helping hands. It's a lot of unfamiliar work and while you enjoy the activity, your stress levels are starting to sail through the roof.
It didn't help that Tod himself was mostly absent at the station during this activity. He ran most of the programs and took it upon himself to oversee their progress and projects. So he was seen only in flashes as he moved from one place to another. Which meant Emily was left in charge at the physical station. You try to excuse her bad mood and shortness of temper on the stress of running everything but to be perfectly honest, you can't. Worse still, you have a sneaking suspicion she knows that you were the one who brought Muffet's bakery on board and is subtly punishing you for it by giving you several large tasks to handle completely on your own.
Sans had very understandingly accepted your multiple rain checks. Work has him busy too and he finally lets it slip that it's because another coworker had quit after the broken window incident. He hadn't said why, but going by the tone of his text message, he blamed himself. Still, through the craziness, the two of you continued to text back and forth, sharing a seemingly endless supply of jokes and puns.
He doesn't bring up the kiss. You want to, oh you REALLY want to, but you don't know what to say. When you do have a rare moment to breathe and think, the memory of your night out floods your mind. It's like the touch of his teeth against your skin left a permanent mark that burned and tingled randomly. Was Sans just thanking you? Or had it meant something more? Do you WANT it to mean more? It's confusing and maddening and quite frankly, it's difficult to think about in the midst of everything else.
It doesn't help that the nightmares are back. They're terrifying and confusing and you almost immediately slip back into your old habit of staying up extra late to try and combat the dreams with pure exhaustion. You do manage to at least go running for a bit every night. You even get Undyne to come out with you. She likewise has been busy with teaching at the martial arts studio. She was a hit with the teen and young adult crowd and her few classes had filled up so quickly that she had decided to open a few more. Boy, did you get an earful from her about getting sick from 'a pathetic misting of rain!'. But you notice that she does keep an eye on the sky and never once drops her encouragement while you are running.
It's on the fourth night since the date that you finally work up some courage. You need some advice, and you certainly can't ask Sans or Papyrus.
"Hey Undyne," you pant as you wipe at your face. It's a colder night and the sweat on your body feels like icicles. "I was wondering, um...how did you meet Sans?"
"The shorty? He worked for me for a while. Back underground." Undyne shrugs and takes a long swig from her bottle. "Worst sentry I've ever had. I only met him because of Papyrus. Big goof would stay outside my place all night, waiting for me to train him if Sans didn't come get him." She laughs loudly. "For such a lazy bum, he sure goes to some crazy lengths for his brother. He's a good guy. His jokes aren't all bad either." She gives you a wide grin and leans in a little too close. "So what's your actual question?"
Holy smoke, she saw right through you. You avert your gaze, blushing a little. "We kind of had an...outing?"
"Like a daaate kind of outing?" Her voice is almost shrill with glee.
"No! No, we just went to a museum he wanted to go to. I mean, I thought that was it. But afterwards, he kinda-" you lower your voice until it's just a whisper "kissed my cheek."
Undyne lets out a whoop, pumping her fist and you frantically wave your hands at her, trying to quiet her down.
"Wait, wait! I don't know if he meant anything by it! Look, he had a little emotional moment in the museum and I talked him through it so I don't know if it was just a thank you or...something else," you mumble.
"Just a thank you?" Undyne wraps an arm around your shoulders, rubbing your head roughly. "Kid, I'm surprised he stopped himself at just a little kiss. He's been holding back for a long time, trust me."
"Huh?"
She rolls her eyes. "Did you even see the look on his face that night we ran in the rain? And then he dropped everything to nurse you back to health? It's like you're living an anime!" She suddenly whips her phone out. "I gotta tell Alphys, she's gonna flip."
You groan, putting your hands over your face. "Please don't." You peek from between your fingers. Your heart is going nuts. "Do you really think he likes me? I mean, like you said, he's a good guy. He's just being a good friend-"
"When did this happen?" she cuts you off.
"Uh, four days ago."
"What!? Have you talked to him about it?"
"Well. No. We've been texting but-"
Undyne actually puts her hands under your sweaty arms and lifts you into the air.
"Hey!"
"You know, for being the one with actual skin and stuff, you sure are a bonehead," she says seriously, her eyes narrowing at you. "That was his pathetic attempt at a move you dork. What are you waiting for?"
Your feet dangle in the air. "Work's been busy for both of us, you know how it is!"
"Excuses!" She plops you back down and slams both hands on your shoulders. "If you don't go see him right now, I'm gonna throw you both in the river!"
You have a sinking feeling that she'd actually do it. Hah, you'd have to remember that one. You put your hands up in defeat. "Okay! He's at work right now, but I'll ask him to come over tomorrow. Promise!"
Undyne stares deeply into your eyes for several long, uncomfortable moments before her mouth spreads in a wide smirk. "Now that's more like it. Nerd."
~~~~~
9:59 AM
y: Hey, I feel like you're neglecting your duties as manager of the beanbag
10:35 AM
s: u gonna fire me?
y: Hmm as tempting as it is to reclaim my throne, I guess I'll settle for a mandatory movie night. I have a feeling you'll like Star Wars.
s: will there be ketchup?
y: Duh
s: see ya tonight then
~~~~~
You drop into the kitchen chair that night after work, head in your hands. You had been so nervous and distracted the whole day you could barely focus. You had screwed up so many times, taken files to the wrong places, played the wrong audio tracks and spilled an entire tray full of coffee all over the break room floor. Emily had called you out in front of everyone, threatening a dock in pay if your mistakes continued. A dull ringing pounds through your head. You can feel an attack building up. Panic is fluttering through your chest, making your stomach churn. No, no you can't have an attack now. Sans was going to be here any minute. You can't let him see you like this. If what Undyne said was true, and he did have feelings for you, you can't let him see. Deep breaths.
In.
Out.
In.
As you breathe outwards again, there's a knock at the door.
Three more seconds. You let yourself stay still for just a moment longer, gathering your control. You can do this. This is supposed to be a happy night. You paste a smile on your face. You get up, open the door. The sight of him standing there helps to calm you. A warm feeling burns in your chest and your forced smile eases into a real one. You had missed him so much.
"heya." Sans studies you for a second. "you ok?"
"Yeah! Sorry, long day at work." You step back and he enters the apartment. You notice that he's carrying a small bag. "What's that?"
"it's uh, for the movie," he says quickly, pulling it away when you attempt to look inside. "it's a surprise. no peeking."
You laugh and cringe when it comes out strained. "Okay then."
A long silence stretches out. Neither of you seems to know what to say.
"Well, mister manager, you better take your place on the bean bag!" you say a little too loudly, heading towards the fridge. "I have your ketchup all prepared!"
"wait." His hand is on your arm. Did he seriously teleport three feet? You stop and look at him. His eyes are glowing brightly. The sight makes your knees a little weak. "before that...i wanna show you something. is that ok?"
"Oh. Yeah, sure. What is it?"
"it's uh. up there." He points to the ceiling.
You look up. There's nothing there. If it was a prank, it wasn't a very good one. "Might want to work on that one my friend."
He laughs a little. "no, i mean it's up on the roof. but i know a short cut."
"To the roof?" What could possibly be up on the roof? You're pretty sure you guys weren't even supposed to go up there. Then again, there wasn't really a way to stop Sans' teleportation skills. "Is it safe up there? It's just an angled shingled roof right? Pretty easy to slip."
"i won't let you fall." His serious tone calms your worries. You take a breath and nod, stepping a little closer.
"Okay."
His hands gently touch your sides and then you're flying through the air and within a few seconds, you're up on the roof. You instinctively grasp at his shirt as a sudden chilly wind bites at you. Dizziness from both the trip and the sudden height makes you close your eyes. You breathe deeply, face pressed against his chest. Sans smells faintly of ketchup and mint.
"i've got you," he murmurs, rubbing a hand against your back.
"Haaah." You let out a shaky breath. "Sorry." You peek your eyes open. Sans has you sitting right on the top of your apartment building. There's a small flat surface, so it's not completely angled like you thought. The city stretches out in front of you, crowded, alive, and thriving. In the distance, you can see the mountains, including Mount Ebbot. The place that so many monsters had been forced to call home for so long. The sun is up just above its ridge, casting a deep orange light on the world around you.
"Wow," you murmur. "You can see so much up here." You look down towards the circle and its park. The dull sound of children laughing and playing reaches you even up here. Is that Pap down there? You squint and just make out the shape of Frisk darting around, playing some sort of chasing game with the large skeleton.
Sans notices your look and laughs. "tori had to be at the courts this afternoon. paps and i watch the kid whenever she needs us to."
"Oh, sorry if I pulled you away from that." You should have checked to make sure he was actually free before calling a 'mandatory' movie night.
He shrugs. "nah, paps has it covered."
Another breeze rushes by and you shiver. "Should've grabbed my coat! It's chilly."
"oh, i didn't even think. hang on."
He blinks out of sight.
"Sans?" Being on the roof alone makes your heart clench slightly with fear but he's back in less than ten seconds. He's holding your jacket. He places it around your shoulders and you snuggle into the fabric, thankful for the warmth.
"That seriously is a handy trick," you say with a laugh. You lean up against him, your heart still pounding from the scare. He hesitates, then places an arm around your shoulder, pulling you in to him. This is really nice. You let out a sigh. For the first time in several days, you feel yourself loosening up a little. The fog of anxiety that has been hovering retreats just a little and the world grows a bit more clear.
"seems like you've got some stuff on your mind," Sans says softly. He starts running his phalanges through your hair. Ah, so he hasn't forgotten about that little trick.
"Yeah. There's just a lot going on right now. Festival stuff, holidays are coming up. Tod isn't at the station much these days so Emily is in charge of the stuff I work on."
"that nasty lady from the talk show? never did much like listening to what she had to say." If Sans had a nose, you're pretty sure he'd be wrinkling it. "seems pretty full of herself."
"You have no idea." You lean your head against his shoulder. "Have you been up here before?"
"yep. i bring paps up here sometimes. he loves to watch the sunrise. can't really see it from the window."
"I've always liked the sunset more. Don't have to get up early for that."
Sans laughs. "i feel exactly the same. i do love to see it though. every one seems more beautiful than the last." His eyes are fixed on the setting sun. "i'll never get tired of seeing it."
"I used to do this back home. Sit outside with friends sometimes. Or by myself. Just watching the sun go down. The different colors always made the clouds looked like cotton candy. I used to try and reach for them when I was little. Thought I could actually eat them if I just reached high enough."
Sans chuckles. "sounds like something paps would do."
The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a little while after that, just watching as the colors of the sky slowly darkened from orange to red to blue and finally faded to black. The city flickered with lights. All the colors and flashing lights made you think of a stained glass window. The noise and bustle of the city are oddly comforting to you. Looking down at it, you can't help but feel hope for the future. Surely such a creation showed that humans could show emotion and love. Surely now, an even brighter future is ahead. If only people could let go of their fear of the unknown.
Which is exactly what you need to do.
You look up at Sans. He's not staring out at the city, or even at the stars now glimmering above. He's looking at you and the gentle expression on his face makes your lip tremble.
"Sans, about the other night..."
He stiffens slightly.
You take a breath and push on. "When you dropped me off and you...what did you mean?" You press your fingers against your cheek.
That deep blue glow you're beginning to love so much lights his face. He shrugs, fiddling with his phalanges. "um. you know. that was. a thing."
"Uh huh. And what did that thing mean?"
He doesn't answer for several long moments and your heart starts to sink a little. "i'm sorry if it was too much," he finally mumbles. "i shouldn't have done it."
Ouch. You sit up as he shifts slightly, no longer looking at you. "It didn't bother...I um, I liked it," you admit in a mumble.
His blush deepens and you see his strained smile widen with genuine happiness. "oh."
You scoot a little closer. "You didn't answer my question."
"it...it was..."
You lean in closely. "Yeees?"
He lets out a nervous chuckle. "ya'know, this ain't easy for me to say. i just...ah hell." He grabs the hood of his jacket and pulls it up over his head, hiding his face from you.
You can't help a soft chuckle.
"d-don't laugh," he mutters, tugging on the drawstrings. Almost his entire skull is covered now.
"Sorry," you say, putting a hand up over your mouth. You can't help it. Seeing him so embarrassed is beyond cute.
"....i really like your laugh." You can see a blue glow from the one little section of his hood that is open. "it's a really good laugh." A beat passes and then in a voice so soft it can't even be called a whisper he says, "it was a 'i like you' kiss."
Your heart is racing and there's a voice inside that's screaming at you to stop, that you're pushing too fast. But there's a deeper, stronger feeling that is prodding you forward that you just can't ignore any longer. You reach for his hood, tugging at it gently until you reveal Sans' face. He meets your eyes and you can feel yourself growing red.
"Sans-"
"i told a fibula before!" he blurts out. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small bag he brought with him. "'s not for the movie. it's for you. right now."
You take the bag from him, unwrapping it carefully. There's one of those small black jewelry boxes inside. You lift the lid of the box. Your breath catches in your throat. It's a necklace of a skeletal hand holding a large gem, set on a thick silver chain. The stone itself swirls with an image of a galaxy, its colors bright and shimmering. It's absolutely breathtaking.
"Oh Sans," you breathe. "It's so cool." You pull it from the box, unclasping the chain. "Help me put it on?"
You can't help but notice his phalanges are trembling slightly as he takes the necklace from you. You turn slightly, and the feeling of his bones against your neck sends pleasant shivers up your spine. He lingers for several long seconds, his touch soft against your skin. He says your name gently and your heart nearly stops. You try to turn but he puts a hand on your shoulder, stopping you.
"i don't know what i'm doing right now," he admits. "i'm not the kinda guy who...i never try at anything. least of all relationships. given our circumstances down there, it just seemed pointless. even now sometimes i feel like this is all too good to be true and one day it's just gonna be gone. but now, being here, meeting you, i'm, heh, starting to care again. i'm starting to think that maybe something is worth a bit of work, even if it will be gone. somethings are worth having, even for a little while."
His voice is so serious it sends a shiver up your spine. "Are you talking about the stars again?"
He very gently knocks a hand against your head. "'m talking about you."
You can't help but make a small noise at that, blushing deeply. Is he...is he really...confessing?
At your silence, he releases your shoulder but you don't turn around. "i know that it would be hard. you're a human. i'm a monster. you've got no reason to want to be with a bag of bones like me. you're so bright and handsome and your jokes are just as bad as mine. you love paps and you've stood up for us so many times. people have already given you a bad time just for being around us. it probably won't be worth it for you-"
"Of course it would be worth it. F-for me." Geez, your voice is strained, thick with emotion. You can barely speak. Tears prick at your eyes. He's got it all backwards. You're nothing special. You've always been nothing. But him? He is like the moon to you, shining down on your world that long ago went dark. He welcomed you, a complete stranger, into his odd and wonderful world of magic and bones. He has no reason to want you. "Sans, you're wrong about me. I'm not bright."
His hand reaches out, brushing against yours. "if you could see what i see, see the way your soul is glowing right now, you'd never doubt that you're one of the brightest things in this world."
"I've got baggage. Like, really heavy baggage."
"so do i."
You finally turn to face him. "Sans, I've done bad things. I'm a mess. I'm just really good at pretending."
His smile is gentle, hesitant and a little scared. "you don't have to pretend with me."
You wring your hands, fighting the urge to both burst into tears and laugh at this impossible situation. He has no idea what you've done. He's never seen the scars. But you want to share that with him. You want to believe that someone might want you, just as you are. "If...if I say I feel the same, what happens then?"
He looks down at the park. "i dunno. i've never done this before. the movies and stories don't really show you what happens after. but...." He looks back up at you and his sockets are glowing brightly. He holds his hand out towards you. "i want to find out what happens next. and i'd like to do that with you."
The soft laugh that escapes you sounds more like a sob. You hesitate for just a moment more and then you accept his waiting hand. "I think I'd like that too."
His phalanges wrap around your hand and he pulls you closer. He's staring at you with an intensity that sends your already pounding heart into overdrive. The force of his blush casts a light over your face as he leans in. He hesitates, gaze searching your face for a moment. You smile and close the distance. Then, right there on the roof, looking out over a city filled with hope and life, Sans kisses you. You sink into him, gripping desperately at his shirt. He doesn't have lips, and yet you can feel a mouth moving against yours, warm and filled with tenderness. You would ask how he's doing it, but honestly at the moment, you don't care. His hands move to grip the back of your head. Soon, you're dizzy from the rush of his kissing but you don't want to stop. You want to live forever in this perfect moment.
He finally pulls back slightly, gasping. His expression is one of pure delight, with just a hint of smugness. "so, does this answer your question?"
You laugh and pull him back in for another kiss.