Having a PUN Time
There's a flash of blue, a deep tearing sensation, like your heart is being forcefully pulled from your chest and then you're falling...
Falling...
You jerk awake. The images from your nightmare are already fading and you can't remember anything about it besides the sensation of falling. You groan and shove your face into your pillow. Wait...this is too hard to be your pillow. Your eyes shoot open and you focus on the sight in front of you. You're nestled up against Sans, who is still sleeping. His arm is thrown over you and your face is lying against his shoulder. His skull is only inches away, his mouth set in a relaxed smile.
OH MY- You bite back the noise in your throat. You fell asleep on the beanbag with Sans! You can feel your face turning red with mortified embarrassment at yourself. How did...when....? First things first, you gotta get out of this awkward situation before he wakes up! Moving very slowly, you attempt to pull yourself out from under his arm. He's made of bone, how is he this heavy?! At that point you realize your legs are tangled up together and freeing them is not gonna be easy. You cup your hands with your face and stifle your moan. This is so embarrassing!
He shifts slightly and sighs before his eye sockets slowly start to open. Oh god what should you do? Look away? Pretend to be asleep? Too late-!
Sans blinks sleepily a few times, his gaze meeting yours. "wha...." He focuses on your face and his eyes dart around, quickly taking in the situation, including the arm still thrown over you. Within a few seconds his entire face blushes bright blue and he gapes at you, pulling his arm away.
"M-morning bone head!" you say, your voice shriller than was at all acceptable. "Sleep good? Yep! Guess we're a pair of lazy bones, twin skeletons you could say!"
Seriously? Puns?! You're babbling complete nonsense! You decide it's better to just shut up and bury your face in your hands again. Maybe if you press hard enough you can sink right into the beanbag and disappear from the Earth altogether.
Sans does the worst possible thing he could do.
He starts laughing.
"heheheh. geez you're really tickling my funny bone here."
Oh good grief! "I hate you so much," you mumble into the beanbag.
He pokes you with a bony finger. "c'mon pal. don't let it get under your skin. i'm just ribbing ya."
You bury your head under the blanket but now Sans is on a roll. "sorry friend, am i crossing your bonedries?"
You moan loudly at him.
"geez, i know it wasn't that original but it was funny right? c'mon can't ya...."
"NO."
"throw me a bone here?" He snorts, he actually snorts and that throws you over the edge. You start giggling uncontrollably. You peek out at him from under the blanket, eyes watering.
"Y-you are a BONEAFIDE disaster!" you gasp out. Sans is shaking with laughter and you don't think it is physically possible for his delighted, shit-eating smirk to get any bigger.
"what, you don't think my puns are sansational?"
"OH MY GOD!"
Whelp, Papyrus is awake. He sits up, blanket up around his skull like a cloak. He scowls and points a wagging finger at the two of you, still trying to stifle your laughter.
"IT IS BAD ENOUGH TO HEAR YOUR JOKES THROUGHOUT THE DAY BUT FIRST THING IN THE MORNING? UNBELIEVABLE. BESIDES," His eye sockets glint suddenly. "THESE JOKES REALLY AREN'T EVEN THAT HUMEROUS."
And with that, all three of you completely lose it. Papyrus' NYEH HEH HEH's almost send you rolling off the bag. The larger skeleton is cackling, pounding his fist against the air mattress when there is a sudden loud bang and you can't help a scream of surprise. You all fall silent as a loud hissing fills the room and Papyrus slowly sinks to the ground. There is a large hole in the corner of the mattress, which his fist is currently filling. He had actually managed to punch a hole in it. He looks up at you with a distraught expression and you can't stop another snort of laughter.
"Well I guess that makes today bed hunting day," you say a little breathlessly. You wipe away the tears in your eyes as Papyrus begins to apologize profusely. "Seriously Pap don't worry about it. I needed to buy an actual bed anyway. That thing wasn't very comfortable."
He still looks a little miserable so you take a breath and decide to sacrifice one for the team. You reach over and pat his face. "How about this then? You make me the best plate of spaghetti you can for dinner tonight and we'll call it even. Deal?"
There's a muffled snort from behind you which you try to ignore.
Papyrus brightens almost immediately at that and nods vigorously. "VERY WELL THEN HUMAN. DO YOU WISH FOR ASSISTANCE WITH YOUR BED SHOPPING?"
"Oh no! That's okay, I can manage...." You trail off, struck with a sudden thought. You look at Sans, who still has a wide smile stretched ear to ear. Or where his ears would be if he had them. "You know what? I really think that you guys would enjoy a trip to Ikea."
Well...Sans would anyway.
Sans is in heaven. And Papyrus is pretty sure he's in hell. After your giggle fit this morning, you had all split to clean up and change and met up about an hour later at your car. Sans had tried to pry answers out of you as to why Ikea was so great and you'd had a hard time keeping your mouth shut. Even when the three of you had entered the store, he had looked around in confusion. That is until you had spotted your first victim. You snatched it, hiding it behind your back.
"So, what do you think?" you had asked, fighting to keep the smirk off your face.
Sans shrugged. "it's cool i guess. but i don't really get why you were so excited."
Cackling, you had triumphantly flourished the cooking dish. It's labeled SMARTA cooking. "You don't see it? I guess that means I'm SMARTA than you."
He had blinked. And then he had gasped with utter delight. And there had been no stopping him since.
Sans strides up to you now, barely able to hold in his giggles. "say, i haven't had wine before but i've heard it makes you-" he waves the wine opener in your face. It's labeled 'Groggy'.
"SANS." Papyrus looks like he's about to either explode or cry.
"sorry bro. didn't mean to be a 'jerk-er' anything." He stabs a thumb over to a desk display with a large sign proclaiming 'JERKER'.
You let out a dramatic sigh, tilting your head slightly to draw Sans' attention to a lawn chair set up on the other side of the room. "Don't you think you should give it a rest?"
He takes your cue and shakes his head, plopping into said chair. "sorry pal but i can knutstorp now. i'm on a roll."
If Papyrus had hair, he would have completely pulled it all out by now. Or maybe he already had. You giggle, trying to picture the skeleton with hair and continue on to the mattress section. They've got a ton set up and you fall onto the closest one, sinking into its feather-soft surface. Hmm, perhaps a bit too squishy for your taste. You feel the side of the mattress sink down and Sans lets out a happy sigh as he lies down next to you. He's holding a clock.
"ya know, i'm glad you 'rusch'd us out here. i'm having a great time."
You giggle and nudge his shoulder. "I think Pap is gonna hate me after this."
"nah. i don't think it's physically possible for him to hate anyone." Sans sits up, setting the Rusch clock to the side. You move to the next mattress, sprawling out across its surface. Ooh now this one is nice.
"Oh 'myrbacka' enjoys this!" you sigh, reading aloud the label.
"comfy?" Sans sits on the edge this time, eye lights glinting with suppressed laughter.
"Very." You stretch and a few bones in your back pop. Sans winces slightly at the noise. "Sorry! Does that bother you?"
He shakes his head. "it's just weird hearing it. i almost forget you humans have bones sometimes. you look too soft and squishy." He pinches your upper arm and you flail away.
"No tickles!" you squeal. He throws up his hands in surrender.
"ok, ok. i'm gonna find paps." He slides off the bed and strolls away, hands in the pockets of his jacket. You sigh happily. The difference between the Sans of right now and last night is astounding. Bringing the brothers here was the right call, even if Pap was a tad cross at you for tricking him.
"Excuse me."
You're pulled from your thoughts by an older man. He is accompanied by three younger children, probably grandkids. You sit up. "Uh yes?"
"Are you...with that skeleton creature?" The old man nods after Sans, who is just barely in sight. Your gut twists unpleasantly at the grim expression on his face.
"Yes, he's a friend of mine," you say a little coolly as you stand up. He frowns disapprovingly at you.
"I know you younger people think that associating with those beings is hip and cool but you have gone far beyond that line."
What on earth is he talking about? The gazes of the kids have you biting back your angry tone. "What, is shopping with a friend a crime?"
The old man shakes his head, his eyes narrowing. "Your lost soul is your choice, but do not flaunt your...." he leans forward and spits "consummation relationships with that creature in public! It is not fit for children's eyes!"
Consu-what?! "You think I'm having sex with him?" you sputter out and the man flinches, rage crossing his face.
"Do not use such language! You were very clearly selecting a bed with that thing weren't you?"
The commotion is beginning to draw attention, but you're angry enough you don't really care. You take a step towards him. He's taller than you by several inches, but you're filled with a rage that makes you feel rather invincible. "Excuse me? First of all, it's a furniture store! People buy FURNITURE here. Which is what I'm doing. Secondly, you don't know me and I don't give a crap about your opinion. So why don't you take your long nose out of my business and leave us alone?"
He pulls his grandkids away from you, shooting you a dirty sneer as they leave. "Your soul belongs in hell!"
"Then I guess I'll see you there!" you snarl after him. What a racist pig! You turn, fuming, only to find Sans and Papyrus standing right behind you. Your remaining anger ebbs away. Shoot, how much of that did they hear? Judging by the thinness of Sans' smile and downcast gaze, they heard enough.
Papyrus shifts uneasily. "HUMAN ARE YOU OKAY? YOU LOOKED VERY ANGRY AT THAT MAN."
You pat his arm reassuringly. "Yeah Pap I'm fine. Some people are real jerks huh?" The murmuring from the crowd hasn't ceased so you tug on the brothers' arms, pulling them away from the harsh stares. "C'mon. Let's head to the pick-up area. There's a mattress down there with my name on it!"
Sans is completely silent the rest of the time you spend in the store. You try to stay cheerful as you locate the mattress you want. Fortunately, it's one of those rolled-up and plastic-wrapped ones so it'll fit in the trunk of your car. You decide to worry about the bed frame another day. Papyrus helps you carry the mattress out, easily lifting up the heavy thing like it's nothing. When you all pile in the car, Pap up front with you and Sans slumped in the back, you can't take the silence any longer.
"Hey, just so you guys know, I'm not bothered by what that jerk said." You stare at Sans via your rear-view mirror until his gaze lifts to meet yours. The thin smile on his face is completely fake. "Okay? Please don't let it bug you."
Papyrus stares down at his gloved hands, twisting them uneasily. "WE ARE USED TO IT," he says, his voice softer than you've ever heard it. "I AM MERELY CONCERNED FOR YOU."
For you? You gently pat Papyrus' knee before starting the car up. "I'm fine. I just got a little heated, that's all. It's one thing to figure that some people are ignorant dummies about you guys, but actually seeing it was a surprise." It had shocked you. News about the monsters hadn't exactly been warmly accepted when the barrier first fell, but that was months ago. Monsters had moved in, opened businesses, played in the park! It was clear that while different, they weren't a threat to the human race. But to see an old man be so openly rude about a misunderstanding was a little jarring.
"you shouldn't have to deal with it," Sans mutters from the back.
"And you guys should?" You can't stand the defeated tone of his voice. "It's not fair. And it's not gonna get any better for you, or monster kind unless we work together to prove people like him wrong. That's the only way things'll change. Besides, if you think a little old man with a greasy nose is gonna chase me away, you've got it all wrong. I like you guys too much to just drop you at the first bump in the road."
Papyrus can't contain himself any longer and practically launches himself across the armrest to hug you. The movement makes you swerve wildly.
"Pap! Driving! Not now!"
He sniffles and you are startled to see little tears gathering in his eye sockets. They, and the space directly beneath his eyes are glowing a dim orange color. "YOU ARE SO KIND _____. I WISH THAT MORE PEOPLE WERE LIKE YOU."
It's the first time he's said your name and not 'human' or some variation thereof. "I promise there are more people like me," you say with a smile. "You guys are just having a hard time finding them. It's a big city after all."
"it is a big city." Sans is sitting up, leaning forward between the front seats. He hesitantly puts a hand on your head, rubbing gently. "we're pretty lucky we ended up with a neighbor like you."
The feeling of his phalanges (you know what they're called now!) on your head is surprisingly pleasant. You can feel yourself turning red from the attention. "No way. I'm the lucky one," you murmur. They have no idea how much you mean that. You're shocked at how close you had become to these two in just the few days that you had known them. Has it really only been a few days? It feels so much longer than that.
The tension in the car eases and you all chat cheerfully the rest of the drive home, carefully avoiding topics that could even possibly sour the mood. It's just starting to rain when you pull into the apartment parking lot. Papyrus is happily chattering about the spaghetti plans he has for tonight. You're so busy laughing along with his excitement, that you don't notice the lady heading to the stairs at that exact same moment. You yelp as you collide with her, more out of surprise than anything. You stumble back, trying not to slip on the wet sidewalk.
"Sorry about that!" you say "I wasn't-"
Your breath catches as the lady turns to give you a sharp glare with one eye (the other covered by a patch). She's blue! And not only that...she's covered in scales! A pair of fins stick out from her cherry red hair that's pulled up in a ponytail, dampened by the rain. She turns slightly towards you, her sharp-nailed hands leaving the pockets of her faded jeans. She's gorgeous, and utterly terrifying. You can't tell if her mouth is sneering or smiling at you. You're too distracted by the sharp fangs.
"Bumping into people can be dangerous punk," she says, before her gaze flickers to the brothers beside you. Immediately her harsh expression eases up. "Yo Papyrus! Check your phone, I've been trying to call you all morning!"
"I'M SORRY UNDYNE," Papyrus says cheerfully, shifting the mattress slightly so he can look at the fish lady. "I WAS HELPING MY FRIEND PICK OUT A NEW BED SINCE I ACCIDENTALLY BROKE HIS OLD ONE."
THIS was Undyne?! She turns her gaze back to you. This time, you can tell she's smiling but that doesn't make it any less scary.
"Oh, so this is the new human you've told me about." Her eye glints gleefully and you can feel yourself sweating a little. "Ha! This is gonna be fun."