Black Widow

CHRISTMAS AT THE LUPIN-BLACK HOUSE WAS CHAOTIC AS NATASHA THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. The first mistake was putting Clint and Sirius in the same room together for longer than five minutes and hoping that the room wouldn't be in chaos every time they came back. Natasha or Remus could be gone for 30 seconds, and the room would look like a bird had shat all over the room. The second mistake was letting Natasha anywhere near the wrapping paper. No one knew how, but she always somehow ended up wrapped up in the paper. At one point, Tom had to take control of her body and do the wrapping for her.

The third mistake was letting Clint cook anything that wasn't a PB & J sandwich. Natasha will never forget the moment when Clint accidentally split the eggnog all over her head. It took over five showers just to get the smell off of her.

The fourth and final mistake was letting Remus have any kind of alcohol at all. Natasha has never seen a man so out of his mind after one Bloody Mary. For some reason, he kept mistaking Clint as some fraud, Gilderoy Lockhart, and attempted to duel Clint to see 'if he was a fraud or not.' It was his words, not hers.

But all in all, she had a fantastic holiday. Tom, for once, wasn't being a complete ass and seemed to have a bit of holiday cheer. It was honestly a bit unnerving. There would be many moments where she would envision Tom in an ugly Christmas sweater, and she would beg any otherworldly being to take that image out of her mind.

Both Blaise and Daphne sent her gifts, along with Hermione -- surprisingly. Blaise had sent her a bunch of dresses from the country he was visiting with his mother -- which just so happened to be Russia, ironically. Daphne had sent her hair-care items, and a beautiful snake necklace. Hermione has sent her a book on curses and hexes. She had overheard a conversation between her and Blaise and decided to get this for her while she was at Hogsmeade.

Of course, Natasha gave them gifts before they left as well. She had gotten Blaise a cologne that would match his preferred smell for that day, and a muggle book she was fond of -- IT by Stephen King. For Daphne, she had sent the girl a gift card to a clothes store the girl was fond of, and a book on psychology as Daphne once mentioned she was interested in the human mind, and what made them do what they do. And finally, she sent Hermione tickets to a traveling musical and a book on the histories of muggle-borns that made a difference in the wizarding world.

Natasha hugged Clint tightly -- not wanting to let go of her best friend. Winter break was done, and Clint had to go back to the U.S for a mission. "I'm gonna miss you, jerk." She mumbled into his chest, pulling back to look Clint in the eyes. "I'll miss you too, bitch." He chuckled, ruffling her red hair.

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, pushing the older male away from her. "Go." She ordered a slight giggle in her voice. Clint smirked, shivering fakely. "It gives me tingles when you take control like that, Nat." He teased, ducking out of the way of a swinging leg. "Watch the face, Nat!" He yelped, rolling away from the girl, who advanced towards him -- a playful smile on her face.

"Clint, I won't hesitate to hit you where the sun doesn't shine."

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

"Assholes." Sirius chimed in, shrugging innocently when the two teens looked towards his way. "What? I was feeling left out." Natasha rolled her eyes, a small smile on her face as she looked at her goofy godfather. Tom scoffed inside her head, his feelings of annoyance coursing through her body.

"Bloody moron..." He muttered, and Natasha resisted the urge to smack him across the face. Turning back to Clint, she smiled at the older man. "See you soon." Clint nodded, giving her a salute before making his way over to the floo, (which would shoot him out into Natasha's apartment) Giving the girl one last wink, he shouted, "Natasha's apartment!" And green flames consumed his figure.

She bit her lip softly as she watched the fireplace for a few seconds before turning around to face Remus and Sirius, who had their arms around their waists. Natasha stared at Remus in concern -- the man was putting all of his weight onto Sirius. Once a month, Remus always looked like this. Pale, shaky, sweaty, and overall looked like a mess. Natasha had a few ideas on what the two men could be keeping from her, but she would wait until they were ready to tell her.

"So, who's ready for game night?" She asked, a competitive smile on her face. Sirius and Remus shared a glance, two different reactions between the two men. Sirius looked as equally as competitive as Natasha, while Remus looked like he was gonna have a massive headache by the end of the night.

"Nat!" Natalia heard the familiar voice of her little sister call. She looked up from her homework, and swiveled her chair around, raising an eyebrow at the sight in front of her. Yelena wore a pink, fluffy dress, and green fairy wings. On her head was a red, plastic crown and she wore a pair of Alexei's glasses. She held two fake swords in her hands and held one out for Natalia to take. "Play!" The three-year-old exclaimed, an excited smile on her face.

Natalia chuckled, standing up from her chair, and walked over to the younger girl, grabbing the sword the girl offered to her. "Alright, Lena; what are we playing?" she asked the blonde, twirling the plastic sword around.

Yelena squealed, jumping up and down in her excitement. "Demigods!! Mama told me a story about them!!" Ah, yes -- Yelena's new obsession. She loved Yelena, she truly did, but honestly, she hated sharing a room with the girl at the moment. All she would talk about were those myths.

Of course, Tom would try to convince her that they were real, but she couldn't -- NO, wouldn't believe him. If there were Gods and Goddess, they would have saved her and Yelena from that hellhole Yelena and her called home for many years. However, Natalia pushed her brooding thoughts away and smiled at the girl. "What kind? Norse? Egyptian, Greek?--"

"--Greek!" Yelena interrupted. "I'm gonna be Hippolyta!! A Queen of the Amazons!!" Natalia chuckled at the girl, twirling her sword around as she thought about who she could be. 'Who should I be, Tom?' She asked.

Tom was silent for a few moments, thinking of who she could be. After a minute or so, he spoke up, "You could be Penthesilea." Her head tilted to the side as she elaborated for Tom to explain. "She was an Amazonian queen like Hippolyta. A daughter of Ares -- the God of War -- and Otrea -- The creator and first queen of the Amazonians, and being founded with creating the shrine of Artemis in Ephesus. Penthesilea came to help Trojans and arrived with 12 other Amazonians. After distinguishing herself on the battlefield, she comforts Achilles and ends up getting killed by him."

She raised an eyebrow mentally at the last part, a little disappointed she didn't survive. 'So, she didn't live? I don't wanna be someone who was killed out on the battlefield after making such a name for herself on the field.' She pouted, glad that Yelena was distracting herself with her sword, or else the younger girl would have made fun of Natalia pouting.

"The Amazons were strong women, Natalia."

She shrugged mentally, not quite sure. 'What about that Artemis Lady? She seemed cool.'

"Artemis is the Goddess of wild animals, the hunt, and vegetation and chastity and childbirth. She is the twin sister of Apollo, and is the leader of the Hunter of Artemis; a group of maidens that can be mortal, demigod, or nymph. They swear off romance, and they gain eternal youth and semi-immortality as long as they don't break their vows, or are slain in battle."

Natalia smiled, taken with the Goddess. She cleared her throat, catching Yelena's attention. "I wanna be Artemis," she announced, and the young girl grinned, grabbing her older sister's hand.

"Let's pretend the Hunters of Artemis and The Amazonians team up to defeat a big, scary monster!!" Yelena yelled, dragging the girl into the backyard. Natalia giggled as she stood in her best hero pose. Yelena cleared her throat, looking as serious as a three-year-old can. "My Lady, we have a monster on the loose and we must protect the mortals!!"

Natalia smirked, holding her sword up to the sky, "Then, let us go, Hippolyta! We shall slay that beast!" She let out a war cry and ran forward.

Natasha gasped as she shot up from her bed, grabbing her wildly beating heart. Blinking a few times to try and get over her shock, she stumbled out of her bed and made her way over to her desk. Grabbing a pen and paper, she started drawing the girl's face from memory, making sure to get the shading right.

"Natasha, are you--"

"Shh!" She held up a hand, continuing to draw the face frantically.

"Natasha--!!"

"I said 'shhh!!'!" She exclaimed, finally to get the boy to shut up. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, she dropped the pen onto the table as she picked up the paper. She stared long and hard at the paper, her mind going a mile a minute.

She knew what was happening, but... But she just couldn't fathom why! Why? Why did she... standing up from her chair, she turned around to face Tom and held up the piece of paper. She watched his expression and saw signs of recognition. "You know this girl, don't you?" she could feel her accent coming back -- a sign that she was getting emotional. "You know Yelena, but... Why can't I remember her? All I get is these little flashes of me having a family, and-and... I can't remember three years of my life! At first, I thought I was just repressing the trauma but... I seemed happy in those memories. What can't I remember the best years of my life, Tom? ANSWER ME! I KNOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO WITH IT; YOU ALWAYS DO!"

Her voice kept getting louder and louder with each word, and yet... she found herself not caring if Remus or Sirius caught her. For all that she knew, they would see her shouting at nothing and probably send her to the mental ward.

Tom's jaw clenched, and he glanced around the room -- nervous energy around him. "Natasha--!" However, he didn't get to finish as she cut him off. "Oh, don't you try to gaslight me! You wanna try and gaslight me, and I'll set that shit on fire, Tom! I have let you live in my head for years, and never once have ever questioned you messing with my memories. It's because I trusted you! You were my hope during my times of struggle, and was one of the things that kept me sane! God, how stupid am I?! Tell me, NOW!"

The lights in the room started flickering, and the items on her desk started shaking. He tried walking towards her, and she felt as if she couldn't control herself. She couldn't hold it in any longer! A burst of magic burst out of her -- blue energy knocking everything over in her room. Tom seemed to flicker in front of her, a look of shock on his usually calm and neutral face. He stared at her in shock. "Messing with a little girl's mind, huh?" She accused.

"No, I didn't--"

"Oh, for God's sake--!!'

"--YOU ASKED ME TO TAKE THEM AWAY!" He roared, the road shaking with a combination of his and Natasha's rage. "You wanted me to lock those memories up because they were too painful for you! You wanted no memories of that little, pathetic family you had! Because you were weak, Natasha, and you always will be! You're just a pathetic little girl who cried about her fake family!"

She stumbled back in shock, a wave of emotions hitting her at once. She could feel Tom's guilt but found herself at a loss for words. Was he... was he right? Maybe she was a weak, little girl.

She was pathetic. She couldn't face the idea of her having a family, and so she shoved it away. The doors to her room burst open, and Sirius and Remus ran in -- wands out, only for them to let out a gasp of shock as they looked at the state of the room. "Natasha? Who is that?" Sirius' sharp voice asked, and her head snapped over to Remus and Sirius, who glared at Tom.

What? How the hell were they able to see him? How? What... She found herself not being able to breathe, and she dropped to her knees, wrapping her arms over herself. "Natasha?" Tom asked, walking up to her -- a look of caution on his face.

"УХОДИТЕ!!"

The windows broke around her as she screamed in her native language. Screams. That was all Natasha could hear. Her screams, Sirius' screams, Remus' screams, and Tom's screams. She sobbed as she pulled into herself, feeling like a complete idiot.

It was like nothing was going on in her head. She couldn't feel anyone else in her head, couldn't feel anyone else's emotions... She was alone. It was like Tom was gone.

Natasha felt her eyes begin to droop, and she felt herself falling back. However, before she could black out completely, she felt someone pick her up before she could fall into the glass that was all over the floor.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Natasha groaned as she opened her eyes, immediately wincing as she looked into the bright light. She coughed, rolling onto her side, only to notice that her right wrist was handcuffed onto a hospital bed. She pulled on it in confusion and looked up as the door was opened.

She sat up as best as she could, locking eyes with Sirius, who dropped the bags of food he was carrying and rushed over to her, pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank god, you're okay." He mumbled, holding her tight.

She hugged back to the best of her ability, but it was a little hard when she was handcuffed to the bed. "Sirius... why am I handcuffed?" She asked, her accent still hard and heavy. She sighed mentally, knowing damn well it would take her a bit to get her voice back to normal. God, this is why she hated having mental breakdowns. Granted, she's only had like 4, but still!

Sirius sighed, glancing over to Remus, who was sleeping in one of the chairs in the room. "We... I was worried you were gonna hurt yourself or one of the doctors. I mean, Natasha, you destroyed half of the house!" He exclaimed, a worried expression on his usually chill face. "God, Rosie, I feel like I'm gonna have a heart attack every five minutes. Who was that man in the room with you? And why did he disappear after? Out of thin air! I know damn well, he couldn't have apparated out of there! Those wards were placed there by my father, and he was the best person I knew creating wards."

Natasha shrugged, picking at her nails. "I... I don't know, Sirius. I don't know! I'm... I'm s-scared, Sirius! I... Tom has been living in my head since I was a baby, and... I don't know-how. It's scary, Sirius. Not knowing how they got there, but you knew you could trust them with your whole being. And I--" She broke down once again, her lip trembling as she looked up at the bright ceiling.

"I could feel him in my head, Sirius. And now, it's like he's never been there before! And that's scary, too! It's all I've ever known! I feel so alone and empty, and it feels like a part of my soul went with him wherever he went!"

"You would talk with him?" Remus' slightly groggy voice asked. Natasha scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief.

She couldn't help herself, she let out a self-deprecating chuckle. "I already know I'm crazy; you don't have to rub it in, Remus!" She exclaimed. The man's eyes widened, and he stood up quickly, seemingly trying to take back his words.

"You're not crazy!" Remus told the girl in a firm voice. However, she couldn't take a man seriously where his resting voice is a sad-pouting face.

"But you were implying it, Remus. Okay, I know it's weird I've been talking to a voice in my head since I was a kid. Hell, even I thought I was crazy! I never told anyone about him, because I was afraid of being called crazy and a monster at the same time! I knew I could only take one insult at the time, and I chose the monster part. Because a part of me knows it's true. I am a monster; I got red in my ledger. I'm also a coward! I chose to give up all the happy memories of having a family because I was too much of a pathetic coward to face the fact that it wasn't real! But it was real! I had a sister, a father, and a mother! James and Lily may have been my biological parents, but they were the family that mattered to me! They made me feel like I was worth something! They made me feel loved!" Natasha couldn't stop herself -- all of her frustrations and anger were coming out at once.

Sirius and Remus stared at her in shock, and she shook her head. "Go." She stated softly, pointing towards the door, "Keep me in the mental hospital as long as you'd like, I don't care. I just... I want some quiet."

They continued to stare at her for a few moments, before nodding understandably. She felt nothing as she watched the tears fall down Remus and Sirius' faces. She knew it wasn't their fault that she had such an awful childhood, but she couldn't help feeling petty. Why hadn't they come for her? Why hadn't they looked for her? Questions ran through her head a mile a minute as she thought about her predicament. She... she just wanted her Mama and Sister, and Papa.

But life wasn't fair to Natasha Romanoff.

Unaware to the young spy, Tom was still in her head. He could hear every thought, and feel every emotion but could not get to her.

He screamed as he banged against the walls of his mental prison.

It was at this moment he began to understand how screwed he was. It didn't matter how many years of study and performance, of magic and wonder, of fear and surprise. He was still as naive as he was when he created his first Horcrux. In his many years on earth, he had still not found a way to control his mouth when he was mad. He knew now...

That would be his downfall.