A Bowl of Fruit
“This is stupid guys. What are we even doing here?”
“You already know what we’re going here. We went over the plan and everything.”
“But this seems a little… dangerous? Its after curfew and everything.”
Sirius just waved a hand at Remus for it. There was nothing to worry about, as they’d made sure to document all the routes and habits of the patrolling prefects. That had been an agonizing process and also an insightful looking into the lives of the older students.
“Why are we even doing this after curfew?” James asked.
“This was the only time we could do it.” Sirius said.
“Why not on the weekend. Or during any downtime we have during the weekdays?” Peter asked.
“Because there are no witnesses if we do it at night.” Sirius said.
“Why are you worried about witnesses?” James asked.
“He’s paranoid. Ever since he’s received that letter, he’s been jumpy.” Peter said.
“Look, I have reason to be paranoid. You don’t know Clarissa Dugommier-Hohenzollern like I do.” Sirius hissed.
Corvus’ cousin was scary.
By Merlin and Morgana, she was like some eldritch monster with how she stared into your soul. She had to have learned that look from somewhere and Sirius didn’t want to know. He’d heard from Corvus’ other French cousins that Clarissa bathed in blood to keep her youth and ate cats to move as graceful as a one.
And now she was coming to Great Britain to visit them over the summer.
Of course, he was a little paranoid, who wouldn’t be?
“I don’t think she bathes in blood. That sounds ridiculous.” Remus said.
“Where would she even get enough blood to fill a bathtub?” Peter asked.
“That’s irrelevant. I have due cause to be paranoid. She’s scary.” Sirius said.
“I thought nothing scared you.” James snickered.
“Oh, don’t start about being scared James. You’re scared of a pink handkerchief in the hands of a certain girl.” Peter snickered back.
“They are not courting!” James yelled.
“We’ve been over this so many times that its not even worth going over anymore.” Remus said with a sigh. “They are and that’s final.”
“They aren’t!”
“Would you stop yelling.” Sirius said. “You’re going to bring the prefects down on us.”
“Calm down Sirius, Watkins is on patrol tonight and he sleeps through half of it anyway.” Peter said.
Sirius had to give him that. Watkins was horrible at staying up late at night and he only walked the halls of his patrol once and then took a nearly forty-minute break, until his partner for the night wakes him up from his nap to go on another patrol.
“Okay, but he’s partnered with the fifth-year girl from Slytherin this time. What’s her face with the brown hair?” Sirius said.
“Iolanthe Deverell?” “Remus said.
“Yeah her, she’s super strict. So shut up and keep walking.”
“Do you even know where we’re going?” Peter asked.
“Of course I do.” Sirius said.
“Weasley could have been lying to you.” James said.
“Bilius doesn’t lie. He’s too focused on quidditch to do so.” Sirius said.
“As if we can trust the quidditch team with anything other than quidditch.” Remus said.
“Come on Remus, go lions and all that.” Peter said.
“He said that you have to touch the fruits to get in and that he’s swears it’s the truth.” Sirius said.
“And no one here thinks that’s a lie?” Remus asked.
“This is a magical castle Remus. I think touching some fruits isn’t a weird way to get into the kitchens.” James said.
“Also, something that is weird. Why are we even going to the kitchens? I’m not even hungry.” Remus said.
“Because why not?” Sirius said.
“I have to agree with Remus, do we even have a purpose for going to the kitchens?” Peter said.
“Are you guys really backing out of it now?” James asked.
“I’m just saying that we should at least have a reason.” Remus said.
“We’re going for the sake of adventure.” Sirius said.
“This adventure could lose Gryffindor points.”
“Its not like we’re winning the House Cup this year anyway.” Peter said. “Ravenclaw has the lead by fifty-seven points.”
“Hey, where the Gryffindor spirit gone?” James asked.
“We’re dead last in terms of points. Unless the other three houses do something monumentally stupid, we’re not going to win.”
“Mores the reason to go on this adventure, we don’t care if we lose points anyway.” Sirius said.
“I’d rather not get a detention.” Remus said.
“We’re going to be fine, see, we’re already here.” Sirius said and turned a corner.
And found no fruits to be had.
“See, Weasley lied.” Remus said.
All that was there was a painting of a bowl of various fruits. What was Bilius on about touching a fruit if there wasn’t any here?!
“Alright well, are we going back to the tower? I’m kind of tired now.” Peter said.
“Is this really where the kitchens are?” James asked.
“That’s what Bilius said. We walked past the Great Hall and down the staircase leading and into the corridor leading to the Hufflepuff Common Room. He said that once we reached the painting to rub the fruit, but I don’t see any fruit here?!” Sirius said and waved around at the area.
There was no fruit to be touched anywhere.
“Maybe we missed a turn somewhere?” Peter said.
“How though? There’s only one way down towards the Hufflepuff commons.” James said.
“There’s more than one way to the Hufflepuff common room James. This is just the most commonly used one.” Remus said.
“Why would you even know that?”
“I read Hogwarts: A History.”
“Guys we have bigger problems here.” Sirius said and drew their attention back to him. “We need to find the fruit and touch it.”
“There’s nothing here though, just a painting.” Peter said.
“Maybe they hid the fruit.” James said.
“Who’s they?” Remus said.
“Wouldn’t it have to be a stationary thing if it was the entrance to the kitchens. You can’t just move a doorhandle around.” Peter said.
“Okay, so it should be here. But I’m not seeing anything.” Sirius said and looked at the painting again.
It was a painting of a bowl of various fruits and Sirius scratched his head at it. Did Bilius forget what the actual entrance was and just said the first thing that came to mind? The painting had some bananas and oranges and a couple apples and pears in it.
But there weren’t any fruits around for them to touch.
“Well, I think we should call it a bust and head back to the common room.” Remus said.
“Oh, come on. We haven’t even found the fruit yet.” James said.
“Nor will we by the looks of things.”
“Maybe it has something to do with the painting?” Peter said.
“Its just a painting. Weasley said we need to touch a fruit.” Sirius said.
“What about the frame holding the painting? This is a rather large frame for a painting of a bowl of fruit.”
“That actually makes sense.” Remus said. “Maybe the fruit is behind the-”
“What are you four doing here?”
All four of them froze in place as they heard a feminine voice call out from the corridor. Sirius noticed the look of horror on Remus’ face while Peter and James were more controlled, but their eyes were still wide open and there were nervous smiles on their faces.
Sirius probably wasn’t any better and the four of them turned around to face the fifth year Slytherin prefect standing behind them.
Iolanthe Deverell was tall and browned haired and was the last person that Sirius wanted to see right now. She looked down at all of them with an expectant expression on her face and Sirius knew that they wouldn’t get out of this.
Where the hell was Watkins and why wasn’t he here?
“Well?”
“We were just… got lost?” Peter said.
“Got lost. You four got lost going in the opposite direction of the Gryffindor Tower.” Deverell voice was flat, and Sirius could practically feel the sarcasm dripping off of it.
“Yes?”
“Forty points from Gryffindor for breaking curfew.”
“Hey! You can’t-” James stared to say but Deverell just interrupted him.
“Ten more for talking back.”
“James shut up!” Remus hissed.
James looked like he wanted to say something else, but Peter elbowed him in the side to stop him. That got James to shut his mouth and frown at Peter.
“You four are lucky that I’m not giving detentions out. We’re going back to the Gryffindor Common Room, lets go.” Deverell said and motioned for them to start walking.
“We aren’t getting detentions?” Remus asked as they started to walk back out of the corridor and up towards the Great Hall.
“No, though if you keep talking, I’ll started giving some.” Deverell said.
That shut them all up and the only sound that could be heard was five pairs of feet walking along the halls of Hogwarts. Sirius cursed to himself about being caught. He should have been more observant of the fact that Watkins wasn’t patrolling and what that meant.
He should have known that Iolanthe Deverell was doing the rounds and not a fellow Gryffindor.
By the time they got back to the Gryffindor Tower they were all tired. Well, all except Deverell, as she was still wide awake. The portrait of The Fat Lady was sleeping and was roused by Deverell clearing her throat.
“Oh, my, what is, what are you four doing out this late?” The Fat Lady said as she shook the sleep from herself.
“We were just walking around.” James said.
“Ten points from Gryffindor for lying.” Deverell said.
“But I wasn’t-”
“For Merlin’s sake James! Stop talking!” Remus said.
“I would listen to your friend Mr. Potter.” The Fat Lady said.
“Just get into the common room.” Deverell said.
“We uh… can’t say the password with you here.” Peter said hesitantly, like Deverell was going to bite his head off.
“You think I care about the Gryffindor password? I have more important things to do than sneak in.” Deverell said.
“But we can’t say it with you here.” Sirius said.
“Well, unless you plan to wait here until Sharpe finishes his rounds, I suggest you go on and say it already.” Deverell wasn’t even looking at them but instead at the nails on her right hand.
Sirius was half tempted to just wait for David Sharpe. The fifth year Gryffindor prefect should almost be done with his rounds if Sirius got the time right. Though, he didn’t really want the endure the scolding that the older Gryffindor was likely to give them for breaking curfew.
“That is wholly impolite of you Ms. Deverell.” The Fate Lady said.
“That’s rather unfortunate than isn’t it?” Deverell said.
“We could just say it.” Remus said.
“What?! The rule says to not share the password with anyone who isn’t a Gryffindor.” James said.
“But I’m really tired.”
“Suck it up Remus. We’re lions, we don’t bow to the snakes.” James said and gave Deverell a glare.
“I could take points for use of derogatory language Mr. Potter.” Deverell said.
“Its not derogatory if its true. Slytherins are all snakes.”
“James?! What are you doing?!” Remus said and took James by the front of his robes.
“Twenty points from Gryffindor for use of derogatory language aimed at another student.” Deverell said.
James moved to speak again but Remus and Peter tackled him and put their hands over his mouth. James tried to say something anyway and Peter put both hands on James’ mouth while Remus went about shaking the boy.
“Seems that Gryffindor bravery is mislabeled. Lions aren’t usually this stupid.” Deverell said.
Sirius wanted to say something in defense of his house, but he’d probably just end of losing more points. Not that it mattered though, as Gryffindor was already in last place and after tonight, they’d just widened the gap by nearly a hundred points.
Wood was going to be mad.
“Got nothing to say Mr. Black?” Deverell said.
Sirius kept his mouth shut. He wouldn’t play Deverell’s game.
“Well, there is at least one lion with brains amongst the firsties.”
“That is insulting young lady.” The Fat Lady said.
“I meant it as a compliment.” Deverell said.
“You Slytherins and your barbed words.”
“At least we aren’t known for our stupidity.”
“Being known for your pride and ambition isn’t any better.” Sirius said.
“Oh, so the little lion does have claws.”
Sirius gritted his teeth. Why did Deverell have to be like this? She couldn’t have just done the courtesy and not be here while they said the password? Damned snakes.
“Deverell, what are you doing here?” A voice called out.
David Sharpe came walking towards them and he had a frown on his face. The Gryffindor prefect looked at Remus and Peter still restraining James on the ground and then at Deverell and Sirius standing next to the portrait of The Fat Lady. His frown deepened as he got to them.
“I’m just making sure that these four firsties made it back to their dorms in one piece.” Deverell said.
“Well, they have, now could you please leave. We can’t say the password with you here.” Sharpe said with some annoyance in his voice.
“Of course, just needed to make sure you understood the trouble that I had to deal with. Have a nice night boys.” Deverell said as she started to walk away.
Sirius sighed as he saw the back of Deverell get smaller and smaller as she went away. Remus and Peter got off of James, who quickly stood up and glared at the other two boys.
“I don’t even want to know why you four are out after curfew.” Sharpe said. “And don’t think I didn’t see the points being taken from the Gryffindor hourglass. Wood’s going to want an explanation.”
“We were just looking for the kitchens is all.” James said.
“The kitchens.” Shape said and palmed his face.
“It was a stupid thing to do and we’re sorry.” Remus said.
“I’m not the one who you should be apologizing to.” Sharpe said. “Just get to your beds and pray that Wood doesn’t give you detentions.”
“He would do that?” Peter asked.
“Once he sees how many points you lot have cost us, he just might.”
“Shit.” James muttered.
“Indeed.” Sharpe said and turned towards The Fat Lady. “Bravery.”
The portrait swung open to reveal the entrance to the Gryffindor Common Room.
As the five of them walked in Sirius couldn’t stop thinking about the password.
So much for being brave.