Vector from Despicable Mii
Vector from Despicable Mii is waiting to get on the Hogwarts Express to go home for summertime. He notices Hermione behind him in line. “Hey Hermione, how do you do M’lady.” As he takes a slight bow, “Would you like to move ahead next to me in line, my beautiful princess?”
“I’d love to, Vector (from Despicable Mii)!” Said Hermione as she walked ahead. The truth is, she always thought of him as a nice but weird guy. He would look nicer bald with his shiny egg shaped head.
Vector from Despicable Mii takes Hermione’s suitcase, and they climb onto the train. He tips his fedora and holds out his hand for her. “Allow me to assist you M’lady. ” Exclaimed Vector from Despicable Mii. They walk through the aisle to get to an empty cabin, and he helps store Hermoine’s luggage into the overhead compartment.
An announcement blasts from the front of the train. There’s a delay because Mike from Stranger Things is laying on the tracks waiting to get run over by the train.
“Please M’lady, allow me to relieve myself… from your beauty,” Vector from Despicable Mii says, bowing as he exits the compartment. Then Vector from the hit 2001 movie Despicable Mii walks into the bathroom to relieve himself after seeing Hermione. Sometimes, when he thinks about her, he pees himself a little.
In the bathroom, Buford from Phineas and Pherb has his pants all the way down across one of the urinals. He’s pissing into it from across the room, arcing his stream into the water. A significant amount of piss is splattering on the walls of the room.
Vector from Despicable Mii can hear the voice of Mike yelling, “HIT ME HARDER, JUST LIKE VICTOR KRUM” through the walls as he takes a piss.
“Today is your day, hottie,” Vector from Despicable Mii says to himself. He leaves without washing his hands. As he closes the door, an Indian kid behind him gets waterboarded on Buford’s piss stream.
Vector from Despicable Mii walks past a cabin with Alina from Shadow and Bone. She’s cuddling with Genya from the Little Palace as she caresses her antler handlebars. He thinks it is very sexy because Alina is showing her collarbones just for Genya. Then, Vector from Despicable Mii blacks out because all the blood rushes into his horse cock
After waking from a few hours of unconsciousness, Vector from Despicable Mii and Hermione walk through the door of Vector from Despicable Mii’s house. It reminds Hermione of an orphanage. She gets flashbacks of her dead parents. She starts thinking about the most traumatizing experience of her life, when Ron dented her beautiful and perfect hydroflask.
Hermione holds onto Vector from Despicable Mii’s arm, it makes her feel better. His arm is smooth and round just like a brand new hydroflask
“Now I will show you my room.” Vector from Despicable Mii leads Hermione to the other side of the communal area, opposite of the place where the orphans sleep. They walk past Mal from the orphanage. He’s sitting on his bed, crying because Alina from Shadow and Bone didn’t respond to his letters.
“You won’t sleep with the other orphans. We will live in my room forever.” Said Vector from Despicable Mii as they enter his room. He holds the door open for Hermione.
Immediately, she sees Vector from Despicable Mii’s sizable collection of fedoras. In one corner, he has a display case for his sword, which he calls “The Blade”. On the bedside table there are many candles from Bed Bath and Beyond, also one of those himalayan salt lamps. A pair of fuzzy hand-cuffs are dangling from the headboard.
Vector from Despicable Mii is visibly aroused as he looks at Hermione. “I know you like me because I’m not like the other beta males.”
But Hermione is still thinking about her lifeless hydroflask and how Ron had casually mowed down its precious life like random civilian victims. The sound of her hydroflask falling onto the Gryffindor common room floor reminded her of the moment that had led Voldemort’s army to their position, the loud -BANG- of the IED blasting her parents into the air. The explosion wasn’t enough to kill them, but it left their twitching bodies susceptible to the gaping gullets of the dementors.
Vector from Despicable Mii is confused by Hermione’s PTSD. He doesn’t understand why Hermione doesn’t want to yield to him, just like how Shang Chi yielded to his father in Shang Chi and the Legend of the 10 Rings. Also he is confused as to why she is staring at the wall when she could be staring at “The Blade”. Vector from Despicable Mii says “You’d look prettier if you smiled more.”
“Hermione, I fell in love with you when I saw you give that soup to Harry. I would never marry a woman who cannot cook.” Said Vector from Despicable Mii.
Suddenly, Hermione hears a squeaking bed frame and moaning. It sounds like someone is having a seizure on the bed in the other room. Orphans are fairly well acquainted with death, and dying happens all the time after people choke on her toes. But her foot is not down Ron’s throat right now.
“Uh Vector… what’s happening in the room next door?” Said Hermione.
“Oh sorry. That’s just my brother Victor Krum with his new girlfriend Mike.” Said Vector from Despicable Mii. Vector from Despicable Mii hastily turns on the Spanish bootleg Despacito Mi on his flatscreen TV to mask the noise of Krum and Mike as they flashbang into the sun.
Victor Krum is a real chad. He’s big and muscular and he’s the quarterback of feetball. He goes to Gogvorts, which is the Ukrainian version of Hogwarts. All the ladies love him because he is a strong Ukrainian farmer who drinks lots of vodka and squats real low. He can only speak Ukrainian and has rock hard abs from all the plowing he does on the gulag’s cold Siberian soil. Victor Krum and Vector from Despicable Mii’s rooms share a wall, so Vector from Despicable Mii can hear every time Victor has a gorl over.
Suddenly, Hermione realizes how much she despises thinking about how Vector from Despicable Mii wants to bang. The only bang she is familiar with is the bang of an IED.
“Okay Hermione, you’re so hot. Now, M’Lady, take off your clothes” Said Vector from Despicable Mii. Hermione strips down for war, only wearing her sports bra and panties because she knows things are about to get sweaty. Just like when she abused Ron.
“Yes Vector, I like you, but now I’m going to turn you into my submissive and breedable slave.” Hermione said as she unrolls her sleeve and reveals the 10 rings. Now, she is as strong as Shang Chi.
"M'lady, please," Vector from Despicable Mii sweats, peeing himself a little.
Turns out, Hermione is also a wizard, and she uses Doctor Strange’s magic to open a portal. Minions spill out of the portal and get on top of Vector from Despicable Mii as Hermione unleashes her army of hot, pill-shaped slaves. The minions put fuzzy handcuffs on Vector from Despicable Mii, rip off all his clothes, and shove the himalayan salt lamp up his ass. Then Victor Krum opens the door, squats on top of the orgy, and pisses over everything like the alpha male he is.
“доброго ранку кузино. Це має бути твій маленький дінь дінь донг? давай подружка. Торкніться моєї тралали,” says Victor Krum.
The minions shave off Vector’s piss-soaked hair. Hermione walks over and gives him an impressive kiss on his bald head, just like how the dementors sucked the souls of Hermione’s parents until there was nothing but husks left in their wake.