Chapter 2
There was nothing like the first night back in Hogwarts.
James loved his parents, he loved his home, and he loved the freedom to do absolutely nothing all summer long. But it wasn’t Hogwarts. What was the point of fucking around if you weren’t even going to get in trouble for it?
Plus he missed his friends. He’d visited Peter a few times and exchanged owls with Remus weekly, but Sirius had been locked down in Grimmauld Place all summer. The noble and most ancient Walburga Black didn’t even allow letters from his blood-traitor friends. If Andromeda hadn’t kept him in the loop, he might have attempted to free Sirius himself.
“Oi,” the boy in question called to him, “frog tax!”
James rolled his eyes and threw a chocolate frog at Sirius, laughing as it somehow hit him directly in the forehead. Peter snorted, sorting his own chocolate frog card into the carefully curated binder he’d had since their first year. James tossed his card to Peter, having already wolfed down the chocolate.
“Thanks,” Peter acknowledged, not looking up from his work.
“You alright, Pete?” Sirius asked, not sounding overly concerned.
“You know what I found out this summer?” Peter asked, only somewhat in response to Sirius. James looked at him, expectantly. “The golden snitch used to be an actual bird! A snidget! And seekers used to still hunt them, then just crush them in their hands !” He almost gagged. “Just squeezed them…” He made a fist out in front of him, looking horrified. “With their bare fucking hands. How disgusting is that?”
James and Sirius, both purebloods who had absolutely known this fact already, gave each other guilty looks.
“I mean,” Peter continued, “can you imagine? Just casually chatting about the quidditch game while your mate is washing the dead bird off his hands? Hi, honey, how was your day? Oh, you killed several small birds by crushing them to death in your hands? That’s lovely, honey.” When Peter started talking, there was no stopping him. “What about practicing? How many birds do you think it took them to find the right one? Were we strangling pigeons mid-flight before that? I mean, we have owls as our companions. Are owls that different from snidgets?”
“Pete,” Sirius said, carefully, “I love you, but do you think there may be some more topical issues that we could direct our ire towards?”
Peter gave them both a discerning look. “You both knew this already, didn’t you?”
James and Sirius nodded in synchronicity.
“And you don’t think it’s that big a deal?” He asked.
“Well, it’s not that it’s not a big deal,” James started, before realizing he didn’t have much more to say.
“But it doesn’t happen anymore,” Sirius finished for him. “And, you know, they’re just birds, at the end of the day.”
Peter glared at him, having always had an affinity for smaller creatures, but before they could devolve any further into madness, Remus came through the door to the dorm. He eyed the strange tension in the room and looked as if he might turn around.
“Moony,” James said, relieved, “my love. Tell us all about your day now, please.”
Remus, suspicious for the wrong reasons, rolled his eyes. “No, Lily didn’t mention you. Yes, I assume she’s still dating Erikson. No, I will not talk you up to her.”
“Remus, I’m offended,” James clapped a hand to his chest, as both Peter and Sirius started laughing, their spat forgotten. “I simply wished to know what has taken you so long to join us. I have no more interest in Lily Evans than the next man.” Sirius nearly fell off the bed with laughter and James wished he’d thrown the chocolate frog even harder.
“I hope that’s true,” Remus said, climbing next to Sirius on the foot of James’s bed. “Because she’s had a rough go of it lately, and she’s my friend, so if we could all stop being so antagonistic to each other, that would be great.”
“I’m never antagonistic,” Sirius said, at the same time as James asked, “Why has she had a rough go of it?”
Remus shrugged. “It’s not easy for muggleborns right now, is it? Plus being a prefect just puts a bigger target on her back, something that she has to be aware of.”
“Are we all going to ignore the fact that Sirius just said he wasn’t antagonistic?” Peter asked, shoving his binder under his bed and sitting next to James, fluffing up the pillows behind him.
“I mean, she doesn’t have to be a prefect, right?” James asked, “she could step down if she wanted to. I’m sure Shacklebolt would be happy to step up.”
“She might just step over Lily’s dead body to do it,” Sirius said, darkly.
“Sirius, you’re the most antagonistic person I know,” Peter said, still hounding his point.
“She’s not going to step down,” Remus responded, ignoring the others. “When has Lily ever stepped down?”
“I think James is more antagonistic than me,” Sirius argued.
“If it’s about safety, maybe she could be convinced,” James mused, before raising his eyebrows at Sirius, “and as if . I’m a charmer.”
“A chancer, more like,” Sirius retorted as Remus put his head in his hands.
“Can we please stop having a hundred conversations at once?” He groaned. “My head hurts.”
“Your head always hurts,” Sirius complained.
“With you around, it has become somewhat of a given,” Remus said, muffled. Peter laughed, and they all looked up when the door swung open, and the last two members of their dorm walked in.
“McKinnon! Doc!” James greeted them. “Have you two met our illustrious new prefect?” He gestured to Remus who grumbled some unintelligible insult.
Alexander McKinnon laughed, then threw his coat over his bed in the corner. “Alright, Potter? Been practicing much this summer?”
“Every day,” James replied, truthfully. There wasn’t much to do over the summer except fly. “Did you see the Puddlemere game?”
“God, I heard about it! Crazy move by Jones.”
“I’ve been working on my spiral dives, nearly passed out last time.” Alex and James were both chasers on the Gryffindor quidditch team and that was practically the only thing that James knew about him.
“Killed any birds while you were at it?” Peter asked sweetly. Alex gave them a bemused look, but James just shook his head.
“Speaking of birds,” Caradoc Dearborn interrupted, “any developments in that area, lads? I heard Fiona Hansen started dating Robbie Abbott.”
“Carrots,” James clarified to a confused-looking Sirius. “He eats them weirdly,” he explained, to an even more confused-looking Caradoc.
The Marauders loved a good nickname. They’d named themselves in second year, as a group of well-meaning rabble-rousers destined to bring joy to the student body and gray hairs to Minerva McGonagall. Most of them, like Carrots, were harmless. Some of them, like James’s current need to refer to Finn Erikson as ‘that dickhead’, were a bit more targeted.
“Carrots and Fiona,” Sirius said, appreciatively. “Good for him. Bet his family’s thrilled.”
“The Abbotts are alright,” James said, loyally. They lived in Godric’s Hollow, and James used to play with Robbie before they were old enough to go to Hogwarts.
“Whatever,” Sirius said cleverly, and slumped against Remus. “I’m going to assume none of us have any birds in our life, or we’d be spending time with them, instead of up here.”
The others laughed or groaned in response as James’s mind wandered. Sirius was right, he didn’t have any girls in his life. Not really. He’d dated, as much as any of them could, as an awkward fourth year. But he’d hit a growth spurt over the summer, along with the constant flying exercise, and was finally feeling a bit more in control of his own limbs.
He wasn’t still into Lily. Mostly. Yes, he’d liked her a lot in fourth year. And third. And most of second. But she hated him. And was best friends with a Death Eater wannabe, which was more than James could stomach. No, this year would not be about Lily Evans. Finally .
***
Most of the Gryffindor fifth-year boys had fallen asleep in their clothes in various degrees of sleep-deprived insanity. James woke first, as was usual. He smirked at his snoring friends, then showered, dressed, and was out of the dorm room before anyone had even stirred.
Mornings were his time. Usually time to train or run or do last-minute scribbled Transfiguration assignments, but they were his time. Alone. But he couldn’t stop the slight feeling of excitement rising in him as he saw a familiar head of red hair sitting by the window in the common room. She started at the sound of his footsteps and turned, her face unreadable. He cleared his throat, uncomfortably.
“Morning,” he said, his voice breaking slightly. He would have happily jumped off the Astronomy Tower at that, but instead of mocking him, as would be usual, she just gave a weak smile.
“Morning. Off to quidditch?” She asked. He took a step toward her, tentatively.
“We don’t have practice the first week of classes,” he said, shrugging. “I just wake up early.”
She nodded, then turned back to the window. The morning was gray, the clouds thick with rain.
“You too?” He asked, almost wincing. “I mean, do you wake up early, too?”
For a moment, he thought she wouldn’t answer. She remained staring out of the window, and he began to turn, taking it as his signal to leave. Then her voice pulled him back.
“I haven’t gone to bed, I guess.”
“Oh,” he said, helpfully, not wanting to break the strange truce she was extending to him. “That’s… new.” Against all odds, he saw her lips twitch up.
“See you in class, Potter,” she said. A dismissal. But even that wasn’t enough to eliminate the slightest glimmer of hope in James Potter’s chest.
***
“Transfiguration, Charms, and Double Potions? In one day?” James’s own outrage was echoed in Sirius’s voice.
“That does seem cruel,” Remus complained, looking at his schedule with a grim expression.
“Oh, does it, Mr. Lupin?” A Scottish voice sounded behind them, and all three boys braced for impact. “Perhaps you would like to review the schedules with me next time?”
“No, Professor McGonagall,” Remus said with his head down, utterly contrite.
“Your OWL year is often considered the toughest, as you decide what subjects you truly wish to pursue. On top of that, we will be doing career counseling together, to ensure you’re doing everything possible to achieve your goals.” She gave them a small smile. “Your schedules are padded with free periods to ensure you have time to complete your assignments. I’m expecting fewer detentions from you boys this year, understood?”
“Yes, Professor McGonagall,” all three of them intoned, as they were joined by Peter and most of the fifth-year girls, who grabbed their schedules and let out similar sounds of frustration as soon as McGonagall was out of earshot.
“Double potions with the Slytherins?” Marlene complained. “Only Lily wants that.”
Lily, who had trailed in behind most of the group, just rolled her eyes. She probably was happy about that. She loved potions. And she seemed to love Slytherins just as much. The thought made James angry, and he turned his attention to the girl who had slid in on his right.
“Mary Mac!” He exclaimed, grinning at her. “Missed you at the feast yesterday.”
“You don’t have to be nice to me just because I was attacked, Potter,” she said, without any kind of inflection. James blinked, twice, as Peter struggled not to laugh.
“I didn’t- I wasn’t- I mean… Sorry.” He finished, lamely.
“It’s alright,” she said, shrugging. “Just trying to stop thinking about it, to be honest.”
James resisted the childish urge to point out that he had not been the one to bring it up. Nor would he have.
“Then let’s stop talking about it,” Andi interrupted, giving James a disgusted look, “and instead focus on eating so we can get to class on time.”
“I didn’t say anything,” James grumbled, not quite as quietly as he’d intended. Mary shifted uncomfortably, her hands shaking as she poured milk into her tea. The whole table grew quieter after Andi’s instruction, and Sirius gave him a petulant look. He shrugged, unwilling to break the silence. Luckily, Lily broke it for him.
“Does anyone know anything about the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor?”
Andi was the quickest. “He’s an Auror,” she said, definitively. “Kingsley says he’s just filling in while they try to find someone permanent for the role.”
“Good luck with that,” Sirius muttered.
“Shouldn’t all the Aurors be, you know, working?” Peter asked, and James couldn’t help but privately agree with him. He knew from his parents that more was going on in the magical world than even the Prophet published, and he didn’t think they could spare anyone from that fight.
“I expect they’re hoping some of us will follow in his footsteps,” Marlene commented. “Frank and Alice are desperate to get into the Auror program.”
James had never really considered being anything but a quidditch player. Still, he couldn’t deny there was a kind of romance in the idea of fighting dark wizards, keeping people safe. But that wasn’t for someone like him. That was for someone like Frank Longbottom–Head Boy, top of his class, all-around good person. That wasn’t in the cards for him.
And he liked it that way. Most of the time.