Donkey Kong
Harry had become so worked up by Dobby’s story that he'd steamed up his glasses and had to clean them. “Holy fuck! Ginny Weasley inadvertently caused your balls a world of agony, didn't she?”
“Arr! I couldn't agree more!” Foxy barked.
Harry was on the edge of his seat. “I wonder who came next?”
“Why, none other than Donkey Kong, sirs!” Dobby said with a smug smile.
Harry’s and Foxy’s bodies rapidly contorted into agonizing pretzel-like shapes at the news, sickening and confusing the other customers. “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!” Harry screamed into his own anus, while Foxy temporarily dislocated both his arms. “Did you seriously get your balls bashed by Donkey Kong, the most expansive dong in all of Kongo Bongo Island?!”
Dobby beamed so hard that Foxy’s legs dislocated too, even if they weren't bending at all. “Why yes, Dobby did.”
“Shiver me- AAAAAAAAAAH!” Foxy shouted in amazement before he realised he'd just popped four joints at once, which probably wasn't good for his health but what do I know, I'm not a doctor or anything.
“You are an inspiration for all of wizardkind.” Harry quietly murmured, as he listened to Dobby begin his latest tale.
**Begin flashback**
Dobby left the Kongo Bongo airport with optimism in his butt cheeks. Sure, last time he'd accepted a job offer from King K Rool, he'd gotten his balls tortured at the hands of Mia Khalifa, Piper Perri, Lena Paul, and Jordi, but this time would be different.
When he got the call from the crocodilian director, he had asked him immediately if his balls would be tortured and K Rool said no, so the future was finally looking bright for Dobby’s budding side career as a male pornstar. He saw K Rool waiting for him now, and after a brief exchange of greetings, he found himself in a dark green jeep that was speeding up a vast hill.
“Now listen carefully, Dobby, because you're gonna want to hear this.” King K Rool said while driving the jeep between several palm trees. “This time around, I won't be filming you directly. I've already installed several hidden cameras around the set and it's all freestyle so you won't have to look at or listen to me for the duration of the filming. Got it?”
“Sounds good to Dobby, Sir! Who will Dobby be working with this time?”
A wide grin creeped into K Rool’s face. “Oh, nobody in particular. Just Asuna Yuuki.”
Dobby felt his one inch wonder become fully erect at the mere mention of the name and could not suppress a cry of excitement and lust. “AWOOOOOOOOGACOOMBOOBHAHASEXOOOOOWOOOOOOZONGOOOOOM!”
Asuna Yuuki was only the most famous supermodel in the world after all.
“Woah, settle down!” K Rool laughed at the house elf’s outburst. “Save the cooming until filming starts!”
And so Dobby tried his hardest to calm down, even if he knew he was going to lose his virginity to Asuna and make money off of it.
**End flashback**
“So when does Donkey Kong come into this?” Foxy asked, having successfully gotten his bones back into their joints.
“That part’s coming, Sir, don't you worry!” Dobby assured his animatronic friend.
But just before he could continue, none other than Goku smashed through the ceiling while yelling “HOLD IT!”
“Goku?? What are you doing here?” Dobby confusedly quizzed the saiyan warrior.
Goku bowed deeply. “Forgive me for intruding! I was just flying around, looking for a good fight when I overheard you telling all these crazy stories about your balls getting tortured, and I had to hear more! You won't mind if I sit with you guys and listen, right? I'll be quiet!”
“Of course we won't mind! The more the merrier!” Harry gladly said as he summoned a chair with his wand.
Foxy nodded so hard that something popped in his neck. “Arr! Make yerself at home, lad!” He then realised he'd dislocated his neck bone this time. “OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE, NOT AGAIN!”
“Awesome! Thank you so much, guys!” Goku squealed excitedly as he sat down and cheerfully clapped his hands so hard that small shockwaves were launched out of his hands that instantly corrected Foxy’s dislocated neck.
Dobby was happy at this new addition to his small posse. “Dobby is glad to have you on board too, Goku! And you've just joined us on the best part of this current story, which happened like this…”
**Begin flashback**
“Here we are! Kongo Bongo’s finest porn set! The Sex Cave!” K Rool announced to a beyond hyped Dobby as the two of them walked towards an opening in a mighty mountain shaped like a gorilla’s head.
Dobby couldn't contain himself anymore, this was going to be the greatest day of his entire life. “Asuna, darling! Don't worry! Dobby is cooooooooming! YAHOO!” He charged past K Rool and straight into the cave, where he found the biggest pile of bananas he had ever seen, but no girl. There was enough of the yellow fruit to sink an aircraft carrier in this cave, which Dobby found a bit strange. “Um, Master K Rool? Why are there bananas everywhere in the Sex Cave?”
K Rool maintained an immaculate poker face as he entered the cave, behind Dobby. “Bananas in the Sex Cave?! Unacceptable! This kinky bullshit won't do, what we're making is going to be some nice, wholesome, family friendly vanilla porn!” He ranted in dubious anger. “Don't worry, Dobb-Bro, I'll deal with these pesky potassium filled interlopers. You just get yourself nice and ready for Miss Yuuki.”
Dobby got to work diligently while King K Rool began quickly removing all the bananas from the grotto of fornication. He took off his speedos, lubed up all one and a half inches of his manhood, and then got really tired and fell asleep for no reason, but this didn't last long.
When he opened his eyes, he felt a sweet yet sultry voice tickle his eardrums. “Wakey wakey, sleepyhead!” Asuna Yuuki giggled, right in front of him.
She was naked and had no clothes on, which also meant Dobby could see her bare boobies and vagina. Dobby was so amazed by the sight that he felt his weiner growing to two whole inches, and Asuna noticed too.
“Ooh! Wow, Dobby! Your dick is so big, it's even bigger than my ex-boyfriend, Broly! Nineteen inches is way smaller than two inches!”
“Dobby has always been meaning to tell you something for a long time, Asuna.” Dobby gulped as Asuna teasingly fondled her own breasts, inches away from his pointy house elf nose. “Dobby loves you!”
“I love you too.” Asuna whispered in Dobby’s ear, firmly pressing her naked body against his. “I just want you to hear one more thing before I blow your mind. And your cock.”
A single tear of joy rolled down Dobby’s cheek. “Dobby is listening.”
Asuna moved herself so that her face was directly parallel to Dobby’s. She naughtily licked her lips, then opened her small, elegant mouth.
“HOLY SHIT, DK! ALL THE BANANAS ARE GONE!!”
Dobby opened his eyes for real with a mix of surprise and sad knowing. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong had just entered the cave and were beyond shocked to see what was before them.
“YOU! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO THE BANANAS?!” The big tie wearing gorilla screamed at Dobby. He was so angry that every vein on his enraged body threatened to burst open and spew boiling blood everywhere.
“Wh-wh- Dobby didn't d-do anything, Dobby doesn't understand-!” Dobby stuttered, not knowing what to say that would make Donkey Kong any less angry, before he was cut off by Diddy Kong.
“OH MY GOD, HE’S NAKED!” Diddy spluttered. “Do you know what this means, DK?”
“What does it mean, Diddy?” Donkey Kong growled.
“It means he raped the bananas before eating them!”
Before Dobby could even attempt to defend himself against this allegation, DK was charging straight towards him in a blind rage. “NOBODY SEXUALLY ASSAULTS MY BANANAS!”
“Wait, Dobby would never-!”
“BANANA SLAMMA!!” Donkey Kong roared. He ferociously pummeled Dobby’s balls at an incredible speed, so fast that his fists ignited the oxygen around them as they moved, which singed the house elf’s testicles in no time.
“AAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGYYYYYYYYYYYHHOOOOOHAAAAAKONGOOOWEEE!!” Dobby yelped helplessly. His balls hadn’t been this hot since Chapter 7, and he really did not like how Chapter 7 happened.
“I’ll help too, DK!” Diddy cheered. He fired up his jetpack, flew over to Dobby, and positioned himself so that the flames from the jetpack spewed directly onto the house elf’s balls, burning them even faster. “Weeee! I’m helping!”
“YOU WILL NEVER RAPE INNOCENT FRUIT AGAIN, YOU FOUL MONSTER! BE GONE!” DK bellowed, finishing off the fantastic attack with one final banana slamma punch to Dobby’s testicles with such overwhelming force that the house elf was launched into the stratosphere at Mach 5.
King K Rool laughed maniacally as he drove his keep full of stolen bananas away from the cave, but took a brief stop to watch Dobby flying away from the island. “Ha ha! With these bananas, Asuna Yuuki will be mine in a heartbeat! Everyone, especially every single REAL Sword Art Online fan knows that she loves bananas! Her glorious coochie shall be mine at last!”
Dobby heard K Rool’s gloating, even though he was now over eight hundred miles away and roughly skimming across the sea. “OOOGH, CURSES! DOBBY HAS BEEN TROLLED AGAIN!”
He did not stop crying about how cruelly he had been scammed until he smashed through a really big mountain and landed balls first on a bed of yellow flowers, which was enough to knock him out for quite a while.
Dobby was never the same again.
**End flashback**