Scorpion
“Oh my goodness!” Harry gasped. “Your balls really went through an ordeal with Amy Rose!”
Dobby just sipped at his Diet Coke nonchalantly. “You’ll never guess who tortured Dobby’s balls next, Sir.”
Harry held his breath in suspense, not daring to guess who was next. “Who, Dobby?”
“It was Scorpion.”
Harry’s jaw dropped so fast that it smashed through the floorboards beneath him and crushed a rat to death. “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?! Scorpion?! SCORPION?! You mean you got your nuts attacked by Scorpion the infernal ninja?!”
“Yes, Master Potter!” Dobby confirmed. “Let Dobby tell you all about it.”
**Begin flashback**
After a week of recovery from Amy Rose squashing his genitals, Dobby soon found himself in an entirely new conundrum. It seemed that while he was in a state of constantly falling in and out of consciousness at the Hogwarts infirmary, Fred and George had tricked him into signing up for the Mortal Kombat tournament that happened every so often. Today was the day of the tournament, and it was considered heresy punishable by death to decline this far ahead, so Dobby had no choice but to compete.
“This time you have gone too far, sirs!” Dobby complained as they got off the bus to Shang Tsung’s courtyard in China. He had quickly become fed up with the ginger rascals’ increasingly elaborate pranks.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Dobby!” Fred chortled. “Don’t you think this could be fun?”
The house elf scowled at Fred intensely. “Not in the slightest! You two have sentenced Dobby to death! Painful, brutal, merciless death!”
“Relax, Dobbster. You can’t enter the tournament unless you’ve got special abilities, and you’ve got magic so you’ll be totally fine! We’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines anyway.” George smirked as he calmly patted Dobby on the head.
“Dobby should have just stuck with Master Malfoy.” Dobby groaned.
“Hello everybody and welcome to the 2021 Mortal Kombat Tournament!” Shang Tsung shouted as he tipped a big sparkly top hat to the tv crews of Earthrealm, Netherrealm, Outworld. Cumrealm, and all the other realms. “I’m your host, Shang Tsung, and you better believe we’ve got a show for you this generation! Our first round will be Dobby, the first house elf to represent Earthrealm in five hundred years, versus Scorpion, Netherrealm’s greatest assassin! But first, pre-show entertainment!” The Chinese sorcerer merrily declared before getting out a unicycle and juggling balls.
“SCORPION?! DOBBY IS DOOMED!” Dobby wailed in dread.
“Ooh, tough luck, man.” Fred said as he smugly consoled the distraught house elf. “Just try to win, or the rest of us are all doomed as well.”
Dobby blinked confusedly. “Eh?”
George nodded. “You didn’t know? If one of a realm’s best fighters wins a tournament, that realm gets the right to invade the realm the tournament takes place in. So it’s kind of all your fault if you lose and Netherrealm takes over Earthrealm.” He smirked, casually declining to mention that a grand champion had to win ten consecutive tournaments before their realm gained the right of invasion, and that Scorpion had yet to earn a single victory.
Dobby shivered so much that his little elven ass cheeks clapped against each other like a pair of castanets. “Oh d-d-dear!” He stammered, hardly able to take the incredible pressure he thought he beared, before clenching his fists and asshole in determination. “No! Dobby will not let Earthrealm down, Dobby will fight no matter what! Dobby swears upon Merlin’s beard!”
“Cool story, bro.” Fred and George said in unison, as their faces became ever more so like troll faces. “We’re getting popcorn, make sure you’re in the arena by six. Try not to die on the way!”
It was time. Dobby’s bravery had all but died away as he nervously waddled into the area, ass still slapping against itself due to his intense trembling. Before him stood Scorpion. He was clad in bright yellow attire, but that didn’t make Dobby any less terrified. The only thing audible over the cheering crowd, Dobby’s clapping cheeks, his rapidly beating heart, and the blazing fire surrounding his opponent, was Fred and George betting on the ensuing fight.
“Bet you ten galleons his dick gets chopped off first.” George sniggered.
“Fifteen galleons say his ass gets burnt off first.” Fred tittered.
Scorpion gave Dobby a devastating glare that made the elf ever so slightly feel like pissing himself. “Earthrealm mocks me by pitting you against me.” The ninja viciously growled as he readied his preferred weapon, a spear attached to a lengthy chain.
Dobby gulped, but thought of how much he didn’t want Earthrealm to be conquered. “D-D-D-Dobby is n-not afraid of you, S-S-S-S-S-Sir!”
“Only a fool attempts to hide his cowardice. How in the Elder Gods’ names you were approved for this tournament, I do not know, but on behalf of Netherrealm you shall suffer the full force of my brutality.” Scorpion snarled, leaving no question of whether he meant business or not to Dobby.
**End flashback**
“Man, he sounded like he meant business!” Harry observantly remarked. “How did you survive Scorpion?”
“Dobby isn’t quite sure, but at the time Dobby wished that Scorpion had killed him.” Dobby replied.
“Yeah, you must have. The Shirai Raiyu don’t mess around! Your balls must have been aching for months!”
“Excuse me!” A concerned morbidly obese woman sitting behind Harry and Dobby complained. “How dare you discuss such vulgar things in front of my sweet, innocent children!” She moaned, gesturing to her three kids who were all glued to their iPads. “I’M GETTING THE MANAGER!”
Dobby was about to offer an apology before getting cut off by the mother’s roar of “DON’T TALK BACK TO ME! DO YOU KNOW WHO MY HUSBAND KNOWS?!”
“Karenus Cuntus Begonetus!” Harry yelled as he thrust his wand between her eyes. She immediately exploded in a bloody mess that splattered all over her offspring, who were still absent mindedly tapping away at their devices. They took no notice of their parent’s sudden departure and continued consuming a bunch of YouTube Kids’ garbage.
“One potato! One! Potato! One potato!” The text to speech voice of a minion screeched as several multi-colored eggs with the faces of various Fortnite skins danced around on one child’s screen before it was silenced by the braindead toddler eating the speaker.
“Can you believe some people?” Harry shook his head in disapproval. “Anyway, please continue.”
“Of course, Sir!” Dobby said.
**Begin flashback**
“Round One! FIGHT!” Shang Tsung barked. The crowd broke out of their brief silence, and erupted into a crescendo of excitement.
Without hesitation, Scorpion threw his spear directly at Dobby. “COME HERE!” He ferociously demanded as it whistled through the air towards his target’s fragile little skull.
Dobby squealed in panic and ducked. The spear flew over him, then retracted back to Scorpion with a rattling of its red-hot chains. The elf then charged towards Scorpion and hit the man with the most powerful spell he could muster, screaming as he let out an almighty blast upon Scorpion’s chest.
“Not bad. For a mere novice.” Scorpion gruffly commented, before kicking Dobby in the balls so hard that his ears were filled with the sound of crunching from his lower abdomen. The pain was so great that Dobby thought for a moment that his entire pelvis had been torn off his body as he gave a cry of “AAAAAAAWEEEEEWEEEEEWAAAAUGHHHUHUUUOOAAAH!!”
As Dobby hunched over to nurse his genitals, Scorpion punched him in the nose, which sent him flying several feet backwards. The world was getting blurry and quieter for the little servant before he was cruelly snapped back to reality by the sensation of his enemy breathing hellfire all over his junk. He wailed in horror as for a few seconds it felt as if each testicle had been dipped inside the sun.
“Scorpion Wins!” Shang Tsung proclaimed.
“Oooooh…” Dobby groaned, laid down on the floor in the foetal position. He had failed Earthrealm, but at the very least he could now die without his balls feeling such pain ever again.
“Round Two!” Shang Tsung yelled from his chair.
The Weasley twins had already been laughing hysterically, but now they were so beside themselves with glee that they both shrieked “FORGET THAT! FINISH HIM ALREADY!”
The crowd liked this idea, evidenced by the several hundred people now chanting “FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM! FINISH HIM!”
“It seems that the crowd wants you gone as much as I do.” Scorpion sharply stated. “Now that I know your weak spot, this will be easy.”
“No, please!” Dobby wailed in protest. “Please don’t kill Dobby! Dobby begs you, have mercy! Dobby will do anything, Sir!”
The elf’s pleading fell on ears that did not accept such dishonourable words. “GET YOUR BALLS OVER HERE!!”
Once again, the ninja threw his spear right at Dobby. Dobby instinctively ducked, but this time Scorpion had a different target in mind. The elf watched in horror as the chain attached to the spear wrapped around his balls several times, then ignited into a bright white glow. The heat Dobby’s testicles experienced was even more agonising than the hellfire he had recently been subjected to. Scorpion deviously tugged on the chain, locking his opponent’s crotch in a horrendously hot chokehold, which caused Dobby to let out a scream of “EEEEEEEEEEHGGGGHHHHEEERREEEEMPPEEEEPEEEEEEUGHH!!”
For the final blow, the infernal warrior pulled Dobby towards him, kicked his testicles with enough force to break a regular man’s neck, and released the chains. Dobby collapsed on the floor, barely able to hear Shang Tsung proclaim “Scorpion Wins! Testicularity!” before he fainted.
Dobby was never the same again.
**End flashback**