The First Five Snippets
In Which Luna Is a Shinigami
"Cast Aside, Shadōmūn!"
Luna's Zanpakutō shined brightly, before a thin veil of black splits through the center of the blade. It grew into a broadsword with a curve of a katana's edge. The massive six-foot long blade's center was in an oval shape, and resembled liquid amber gold but looking as solid as crystal. The blade's guard was clad with a short mane of silver fur, and the handle was now at the length for a two-handed person to wield and yet she effortlessly wields the blade single-handedly. Two medium ribbons of light trail from the furry blade guard, and flutter in an invisible wind... The normally aloof girl was now as serious as any hardened warrior, her exuberant eyes filled with an edge of ice.
"Time to die, abomination of the human soul," she shouts to the Dark Lord Voldemort, and sprints across the battlefield.
The Dark Forces attack the foolish and crazy witch, but Luna's blade was slicing through the dark races of vampires, werewolves, and other dark creatures. And when the Dementors swooped in, and did the one thing no one in the entire history of the Wizarding World never done: destroy a Dementor. They say the power the dark lord knows not is Harry's love. Well, that batty old woman Silby Trelawney was wrong. The power that the dark lord knew not was the powers of the Shinigami. After all, Voldemort feared death. And while the prophecy clearly stated that only Harry Potter had the power to either save the world, or die trying, Luna threw all convictions out the window when she dealt the killing blow in order to destroy the abomination that Voldemort became... Of course, Harry still was given credit to destroying Voldemort in the history books, although as far as the world knew, Harry's soul has since moved to the afterlife, having died killing Voldemort by means unknown. And how Voldemort's reign of evil was ended by his hands will forever remain a tragic mystery.
Meanwhile, under Luna's guidance, Harry Potter became a Soul Reaper...
In Which Luna Lovegood Makes a Porno
Hermione could not believe what she was seeing.
"So... you like?"
"... What... how?"
"My idea. Harry's had a rough childhood, so I thought he should understand what love is, and how to fully enjoy and worship the female body... very close and so personal," Luna says with a coy smile, "so... what do you think?"
"How many ARE here?"
Luna simply jams a parchment to the girl, and Hermione looks at the parchment, which contained a list of female students known in the school, and those whom had since graduated.
SUSAN BONES
HANNAH ABBOT
NYMPHADORA TONKS
DAPHNE GREENGRASS
TRACEY DAVIS
ASTORIA GREENGRASS
FAY DUNBAR
KATIE BELL
ALICIA SPINNET
ANGELINA JOHNSON
PADMA PATIL
PARVATI PATIL
LAVENDER BROWN
GINNY WEASLEY
Hermione stared at the long list of names of noted females she's had contact with in one way or another, before she looks to Luna. Hell, she had no idea how Luna convinced TONKS of all people to participate in this, and Nymphadora Tonks was more or less the oldest of the entire list. She finally decided what to do.
"Can I have a part in the movie?"
Luna pulls the girl into the room, and the door slams shut, melting into the stone wall.
Hermione's last thought before she was stripped of her clothes by Luna was...
She should have been in Slytherin.
No one could be as cunning and sneaky like Luna was finding the list of girls to make this porno in the Room of Requirement, which starred Harry Potter as the luckiest son of a bitch to shag with a total of sixteen women. Yes, halfway into the unadulterated orgy, Luna joins in the erotic action.
To Which Luna Turns Harry into a Cat Boy
Luna smiled as she usually did. It was Third Year for her, and Harry's Fourth Year. Of course, what's different in this timeline was Crouch in his Moody disguise screwed up with placing the parchment with the forged name into the Tri-Wizard Cup. Instead of Harry Potter being forced to compete in the dangerous tournament, it was Ronald Weasley who was forced to compete (and thus earned the bad scrutiny from almost ALL of Hogwarts' student body).
"It's not that bad, Harry," Luna told Harry.
A sound crossed with a moan and a cat's soft purr was the response. Harry was still getting used to his new cat-like features of having the cat ears, and the sweepy tail after a Transfiguration gone badly. No matter what the best healers tried to do, his transformation could not be reversed. He was stuck as a wizard with the cat ears and cat tail. In otaku words: Harry Potter has become the world's living cat boy, and the wet dream of all otakus in the world with a nekomimi fetish. And Luna... well...
She had a nekomimi fetish, especially when it dealt with cat boys.
"Do I really have to wear this collar?"
"Yup. You look cute with it," she tells him with a beaming smile.
Harry's blush increased into darker red shades, this making him look... shota...
To Which Luna Does Time Travel
A much older Luna Lovegood arrived in 1980, exactly when Voldemort was vanquished by unknown magicks. She searched the house, and found him, crying and inflicted with Voldemort's soul fragment trying to hook its parasitic fangs into his soul and magical core. With a flick of her wand, she not only separates it from Harry before it dug deep, but also destroys the fragment, banishing it straight to hell. She then picks up Harry, and calms him down by wrapping him with a blanket, healing his cuts, then giving him his stuffed toy dog that reminded her of Sirius Black's Animagus form.
"If you were left as is, the world would be destroyed because of a meddling bumblebee, little one," she coos softly to Harry.
She left the premises, and sent a deterrent by setting the remains of the house ablaze with Fiendfyre. Praying for Harry's parents to find happiness in the next life, she then spirits Harry away into the darkness of the night. Five minutes later, Hagrid showed up to find the house burned to cinders on a flying motor bike.
=0=0=
"YOU BETRAYED THEM!" Peter Pettigrew shouted at Sirius, who had been chasing him since James and Lily's deaths.
But before Peter could put his plan into action, he was struck hard across the back of the skull by a Billy club, knocking him unconscious. Sirius blinked, and then rubbed his eyes.
"Selene?"
"Sirius, hello," Luna replies, "and no, I'm not mum. Not yet anyway... although if we hurry, we can save my younger self..."
"Huh?" he said, confused.
Taking out her wand, she casts the Obliviation spell on all the muggles that were watching. When the muggles blinked, life returned to normal. Sirius Black, a captured Peter Pettigrew, and Luna Lovegood, were now gone.
Six hours later...
"Madam! Come quick!" An unnamed Auror shouted.
Amelia Bones rushed to the front of the Ministry Atrium; where bound and gagged was a naked, and bloodied Peter Pettigrew, and a pinned note on his crooked rat-like nose. The note, as it was read later, detailed him as the Potter's Secret keeper, and how he betrayed them to the Dark Lord and had hoped to put all the blame on Sirius Black.
Two hours later, Dumbledore attempted to put his plot into action, but quickly found out many of his key players were taken from him.
=0=0=
Luna smiled softly, as in an undisclosed location (a home she bought in the twenty-four hours that have passed since coming to the past), two toddlers were sleeping in a shared crib. She gently closed the door, and walked into the living room. There were her parents, along with Sirius, and though it took a long time, Remus. Along with them was the Tonks family.
"You must be confused..."
"Somewhat. It's hard to accept my daughter from the future came to the at to change things," Selene responded.
Luna smiled sadly. "Sorry, mum..."
"So, Luna..." Sirius spoke up, "what made you do all of this?"
"Because if I didn't, then Harry would have been killed all because of a manipulative bumblebee with a long beard and a fetish for lemons..."
"What did Dumbledore do to make you time travel to the past, honey?" Luna's father asks his future daughter.
"Destroyed the Potter Wills, allow Sirius to die in Azkaban even though he was not guilty of any crime, and controlled Harry molding him into a weapon to kill Tom, let them kill each other off, and then take the fame and rule the planet. He destroyed may lives in my future... I was one of the few who did not subject to his views of the Greater Good, and was on the run until I found an experimental Time Turner that took me to the past. By changing events now, I destroyed half of Dumbledore's plans he had with Harry's life."
She smiled sadly. "Everyone here one way or another, is dead in my world..."
It was a lot to take in, but Selene got up and hugged the woman.
"I believe you."
Luna smiles back, tears escaping her eyes.
"I don't have much time left, anyway..."
"What? What do you mean?"
"It's an experimental Time Turner... it's tied to my magic and I used much of it changing events, and just to even empower it in the first place. Once the magic runs out, I'll fade away and cease to exist..."
Everyone was silent, as Luna stepped back. She started to turn transparent.
"Protect Harry and Luna... through them, they will change Britain's Wizarding World and bring it into the 21st century. Through them, they will end blood racism. And they'll defeat the TRUE Dark Lord, Albus Dumbledore..."
Her voice was turning into an echo, as the magic in her Time Turner ran out.
"They will bring our world to a realm of peace, where both worlds coexist side-by-side... with their love, they'll destroy any evil that threatens them..."
Her tears fell, as she says her final goodbyes to her parents, and tells them that no matter what, she loves them. The Time Turner drops when her body vanished, and shatters on the wood floor.
In Which Luna Kicks Ass
Dudley and his gang of "Harry Hunters" were crying and blubbering like babies. Many of them were severely injured, and in the case of Dudley, his fat arse was jammed into a tiny trash can, with the lid nailing him shut inside. Thirteen year old Harry Potter was in awe, as twelve year old Luna Lovegood, smiles serenely at him.
"Didn't know you were so bad-arse," he tells Luna.
She just hugs him.
They were Slytherin students at Hogwarts in this timeline. Harry was a bit of a bad boy, but truly, he was nice inside, but he still was the typical child gangster in the neighborhood. And Luna Lovegood, she was one of his three friends at Hogwarts (alongside Daphne and Tracey).
"I told daddy I was going to see you, and he told me to be home before dinner. So, do you want come over for the summer?"
"Sure. Better than those arseholes I call my relatives," Harry replies.
She grins. "Good. Maybe later you can teach me some of your fighting moves."
Harry simply laughs, accepting her hand. And with a pop of displaced air, vanishes with an Apparition, taking Harry along in a Side-Apparate.
Minutes later, cronies from the Ministry of Magic would arrive to Little Whinging, looking to find the person who performed magic, only to discover too late the "culprit" was long gone. They were too lazy to track down, and did a piss-poor job in erasing all magical trace. All the boys were sent to the hospital, with no memories of who the were.
Meanwhile, Harry and Luna were acting so out of character in this timeline, dressed in leather clothing and fishnet wear, as well as wear nail polish, wear makeup to look almost like punk goths, and were currently smoking some weed Luna grows in her secret garden.